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Tuesday, 27 June 2017

Passwords. Snooping. Yes or No?




Should married people have passwords on their phones and other devices? 

Yes? 

No?

Why do you say so?


Surprise Surprise! Passwords were not created to protect a person's phone from the spouses alone (or at all). I know right, it sounds strange. LOL. Seeing as the reason most people put security locks on their phones is so that their other halves can't gain access to it... Tsk tsk. So for those who'd say their phones are passworded for general security; should spouses/partners have each other's passwords?

And lastly, SPILL some of the naughty things you've found out while snooping through Bae's phone. All I can tell you is that everytime I've done this it ended in almost a breakup, so I stopped, because I noticed I eventually forgive and get back with him anyways, so what's the point? Well except that one time when I found out exactly a month to his wedding that the boo was engaged, had done his introduction and wifey was heavily pregnant. Yes, that definitely ended in a breakup. LOL.



So share your snooping experiences and your thoughts on this whole password ish in general. 

Monday, 26 June 2017

"Maybe She's Spiritually Confused".




Ga shi nan
Ga mu nan
Serki aljana
Ya na nan
Ga shi nan
Ga mu nan
Ya na nan

I hummed what could be best described as the Halleluyah Challenge theme song while walking by a table to check on guests. 

"Sorry hold on" a lady urgently told her date cutting him short, and turned to me "Are you doing the Halleluyah Challenge?" she asked. 

I nodded tiredly. I'm not ashamed to say I was hoping she'd say "are you thelma thinks?" 🙈. I've been in need of a pick-me-upper all day...

"I just knew it!" She practically fist-bumped the air. "I could tell from that song you were singing" she said knowingly. I forced a smile kept walking, no longer singing. 

"Which one is halleluyah challenge kwa?" Her date asked. 

"How will you know when you no dey go church?" another lady on the table said. 

"It is one midnight prayer that some people are doing" the lady who spoke to me offered 

"Midnight prayer? Like the thing MFM people do?" this from another guy. 

"It's not just MFM. It's for born agains" I heard a girl say

"Born again ke? That one sef na born again?" He said and I could literally almost physically feel his finger pointed at me. 

If these were other people now they would know enough to wait till I'm out of earshot before conversing about me, but not the ones in these zones. It's like they want to "double dare" you 😂. 

I lingered. There was a short silence on their table as they contemplated my short peplum dress and bare thighs, until someone broke the silence. 

"Ehn, maybe she is born again small. Or maybe she is spiritually confused" 

Ha! I stopped in my tracks and turned back to pierce them with my stare but those people totally ignored me and moved on to something else. 

LOL. 

Just another night at Chidoz. 


Ps: I called a waitress to take a photo of me so maybe I could see why I looked spiritually confused. I've looked o! And I look just fine to me jor. 

Hehe. 

I'm off to bed.

Tell me a bed time story pleeeeeeease 😌, make it short and sweet😘. 






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Sunday, 25 June 2017

Back On The Dating Scene Like...




Aaaaaaaargh!

I swear I'd forgotten how much dating sucks. 

Today I'd have gone on my first "first date" in a coupla years. I got dressed, primped and plucked to perfection but when bobo called to say he was on his way I freaked out. 

So I replied brb to his message and I plopped onto my bed and noticed my palms and forehead had gone sweaty. I suddenly wasn't feeling myself. 

My head started spinning, too many question marks suddenly popping up out of smoke. 
What do I want out of this?
Am I ready for a new relationship?
Do I need just a rebound guy?
What does he want out of this?
Am I emotionally ready to be with someone new?
What if he wants something casual and I start catching feelings, can I handle that right now?
What if he's looking for wifey and I just want him for the good times?
What are we going to talk about?
What do people talk about on first dates?
Is he husband material?
Is he looking for wife potential?
Would he find my directness endearing or off-putting? (I find that the older I get the less filters I have)

And this is just another reason why I hate dating. The overthinking, the second guessing, the mindgames... All of it! And it gets even worse when one's passed 30. 

And it's obvious why. As a woman, especially one who wants to have kids, your biological clock is ticking, the dating pool is smaller, most of your friends are married and you have less or no one to be with which really makes you want your own someone...

Sometimes when I think about my single status I wish I'd maybe gotten married and had a couple of kids in my 20s and now, single again, I have the liberty to date whomever I choose without giving a single thought to the future, for now at least. Ahhhh, bliss!

Alas. When I was in my 20s I had other things on my mind. 

But honestly, somewhere at the back of my mind I wish I could just relax and enjoy (good) men and dating and dates and drinks and romance and kissing strangers after two tequila shots and mindless sex just for sex sake and travel. You know, just like in American romcoms, without having to worry about ticking clocks et al. 

So you see, I could be out having cocktails and laughs and witty convo with a charming yoruba man, but I'm here overthinking things and having my mind play 21 questions on me when I could be playing 21 questions with Mr Dimples. *Sigh*

Oh well, the week is just getting started. 

Share with me your personal 1st date DOs and DON'Ts, and deal breakers. Oh, are there any new dating trends 😂? Biko update me, I've gone rusty 😒😩. 





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Saturday, 24 June 2017

The Brand Masterclass & Things... (Thelma Asks).



The above were taken the day before when I joined the decor team to set up. 




Charles O'Tudor with Ubong King and Steve Harris 

Comedian Arole 

The panelists; Chukwuka Monye, Mike Ibezim, Steve Harris, Charles O'Tudor, Ubong King, Ezinne Kufre Ekanem & Kunle Soriyan. 

Me, forced into the only picture I took...


Another reason to thank God. This job was a huge learning curve for me. Not all lessons were great but I'm glad that I was able to execute despite that horrendous rain and windstorm that befell us on Tuesday morning. Seriously, that's another reason to be grateful. I never would have thought that the ladies from the blog that VOLUNTEERED would have made it under that condition. Now not only did they show up, they were actually all very punctual. 

I honestly cannot thank you guys enough, you made my life so much easier on that day. 

Have you guys noticed how everyday these days there's a workshop/seminar/conference going on and they seem to be talking about the same thing; entreprenuership, business, money... Like, they have different themes but basically it's different sets of people trying to take advantage of the recession, and that's not a bad thing. It's just that at some point it becomes pretty monotonous, and I'm speaking from a consumer's standpoint. 

A couple of years ago, it was putting a bunch of semi-celebrities together to give inspirational talks to people who basically just wanted to see celebs... Now it's a new wave of public speakers ALL talking about entrepreneurship and how to make money... I find all these boring because once one person does it, everybody does it. This week alone there have been about 10 seminars in different locations in Lagos planned by different people all discussing the same thing. I was invited to attend one holding at HOTR today but I turned it down because barely two days back I was at another and some of today's speakers spoke at that one. Eeeeeeishh! Honestly, it's getting really boring!

So I thought to ask you guys, what other kind of "seminars" do you reckon people would be interested in attending? At events school I was to plan a project and what I came up with was something called The Love Workshop for career-oriented middle-upperclass singles from ages 30-50. In reality I don't know if that sort of thing would fly in Nigeria bu I had so much fun planning it theoretically. 

So tell me, let's have fun with this. Your ideas don't even have to make sense, just think about it. What kind of conference wouldn't you mind paying to attend besides the regular money/entrepreneurship/motivational talks? It could be something in your field, something that's never been done before but you'd love to experience, something that is done elsewhere but not yet in Nigeria, something that was done in the past but not anymore, something you think attendees would love and not forget in a long time... Hey, your ideas don't even have to make sense to you, let's just hear it. 


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Thursday, 22 June 2017

#ThrowbackThursday. Your First Cell Phone!





Throwback to that time in 2003 when one of my mother's omata customers wanted to chop very fresh fruit. I'm even more offended now than I was then, that 17 year old me was being wooed with persistent doggedness by a 40something man. 

What is wrong with you men?😒

So when I got into 1st year he bought me a phone that was certain to scatter my dada and land me in his bed; spread-eagled, offering him my flower on a platter of ..... Whatever. 

Seriously, What Ever.

I'd long dreamt of having my own mobile phone for, like, forever. I mean, some of my classmates in QC already had cellphones while we were still in school and I'd gotten into Uni and still couldn't boast of one yet. I wanted nothing more than a phone. 

But WHATEVER. Lord I hated this Xelibri phone. It didn't only look like an egg, it felt like an egg; fragile af! It was meant to be cute but came off looking like a failed experiment, and in turn made me look like a "forcing guy" aka "I must to join" aka wanna-be. 🙈

Angus, our poor customer couldn't believe that his ace card only garnered more bristling resentment from me to him. 

Meanwhile my then-boyfriend had a Samsung blue-eye, and then a true-eye (or true i?) For the youngens, back then a Sansung blue/true-eye was tantamount to an IPhone 7! It was the coolest thing ever 😂😂

I once came home for the holidays and saw my former childhood friend who was still about 15 at the time, with a Motorolla Razr and I immediately had one of those "where was my father when her father was making money?" moments. I mean, guys, was there anything slicker than the Motorolla Razr back then? Nope.



LOL. 

It's funny when we think about it now, but then phones were no joke. They were a symbol of status and pedigree. I mean, guys, can you remember all those Nokia phones? Jeez!

It was the fastest way to spot a "successful" runs girl in my Uni back then. If a chic used a Nokia N95 then you could tell that her Aristos were big league. LOL. 






That up there was my first phone, I didn't use it for long but I can't remember my second, third or fourth. 

But you know what they say, you never forget your first. 😉

So what was your first? Do you remember the year? How you got it? How long you used it? Is there any story behind it? Lets #throwback to our #firsts; phones. 








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Dear Thelma. (HELP! My Fiancee Is Breaking Up With Me Because He Thinks I Tried To Jazz Him)





Good morning T. Please post. My fiance travelled for a month so when he was coming back I thought it may be a good idea to spice things up because we have not seen for weeks. My friend told me about a kayanmata specialist on FB so I called them and then went to their office in lekki. They sell all sorts of sex products for men and women like tightening soaps, soaps to kill viganal odour, medicines for higher libido, sweeter sex, to delay ejaculation and co, and I don't really think there is anything fetish about it because they are all made from natural products, besides their shop is a public place where anybody can walk into. I asked them that I want something that will make me very wet and increase my libido as I sometimes suffer from low libido which he didn't know about. They gave me a small container with something like small stones inside. They said I should insert 3 in my vagina and my mouth, three hours before sex, that it will begin to work after three hours and help me to be very wet. 

On the day he came I followed the direction and it didn't really raise my libido but really increased my wetness, but after that I didn't take it again, because my libido was still low. I abandoned it in my bag and forgot about it. Unfortunately for me he saw it inside my bag and since then he has completely changed. Because on the container the way they wrote the direction looks like something fetish but I believe that that is just their marketing strategy. They wrote "3 hours before you meet your man put 3 in your mouth and 3 inside your vagina, and he can never let you go after that. He can never look at another women after that". Me I even laughed at the caption when I read it because I know that it is rubbish coz the man that want to cheat he will still cheat, but my fiance is saying that I want to use charms on him. He is also convinced because of how the thing looks like stones and not medical pills. It has been 3 weeks now and he has refused to answer my phone or message. He said it is over and I should just move on, that I can sell the engagement ring if I want. I haven't been able to talk to my family about it because I don't know what I will tell them. My family is very conservative, parents very strict and spiritual like S.U or deeper life. I am the first daughter and I cannot discuss it with my younger ones. I am at my wits end, so scared and confused. please what will do you advise me to do?







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Wednesday, 21 June 2017

Would You Marry a Man Like Your Dad?





I heard this question asked severally on Sunday, Father's Day. I was very surprised to see that 8 out of 10 people said NO. 


I've been struggling to answer this honestly since then and I'm still at it. My father is a great dad but would I want to marry a HUSBAND just like him? 

Aha! 


You tell me. Either yes or no, tell me why. 


Oh, and I hope it's not too late to wish Happy Father's Day to Wale, Kon, Eazee E and all the other amazing fathers on the blog. 😍







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Wednesday, 14 June 2017

Joy Isi Bewaji Calls BS On The Halleluyah Challenge.












So the Halleluyah Challenge is eliciting so many mixed reactions. Most people have taken issue to the number of celebrities going there to "mark register" and distracting people who really want to worship. 

But that's not Joy's problem with the whole thing. You've read what she has to say. Do you agree with her?

Angry as she sounds, I actually agree with most of the points she's making. Unfortunately though, she seems to be getting it all wrong, nobody ever said the #HalleluyahChallenge was about praying for Nigeria. I wonder where she got that idea...

Anyways, the participants continue to grow in number. Do you think people genuinely want this, or just hopping on th band wagon as usual? 

Please We NEED Your Help









Today, I write to seek your support to help save the life of Nathaniel Temitope Ayeni, my childhood friend's first baby boy. He is just 2months and 17 days old today. He needs urgent surgical operation to treat an ailment called TAPVC(?mixed), Moderate sixe restrictive secundum ASD L-R Shunt, Mild Valvar PS, RV Dysfunction, Severe PAH-. This condition has led to a shortage of oxygen to his system which might cause him to turn blue and also resulting in a conspicuous dark coloring in his mouth; a hint that his system is shutting down. 

I will be very happy if you can support us by featuring this on your blog for kindhearted Nigerians to help with their resources, finances and prayers. The family has set up the links below to help raise the money for transparency purposes.


The father's (my friend) account - Ayeni Olakunle Moses  GTB 0052579997 has also been made available for those that may prefer the option. No amount is considered too much or small.

I appeal and solicit for your help and support in anyway you can and deem fit. Attached, herewith, are photos of Nathaniel's test result stating his diagnosis, medical report and echo report. 

Thank you and God bless you abundantly as you join the race in saving Nathaniel's life.


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TTB readers please I appeal to you. Please! Anything you can do, please do. And please share on your social media pages. God bless you all 

Monday, 12 June 2017

The Brand Master Class 1.0. VOLUNTEERS NEEDED!!!






Hello people! My Events company is in charge of the Brand Master Class 1.0 conference. 

I would be needing some ladies to usher at the conference. It's holding next Tuesday the 20th of June within the Ikeja axis. 

Being a free conference with almost 500 registered attendees, I definitely need ushers. Volunteering means that you're willing to free up some of your time to serve and that's great. However I would cover the cost of your transportation and ensure that you're well taken care of at the conference. Also, you get the opportunity to learn from some speakers that you really wouldn't want to miss out on. One is every woman's #MCM. 😂😂😂. Oh, and of course an opportunity to network afterwards, it's still a birthday celebration, remember? So work over and you're free to socialize. 

Interested? Shoot me an email; thelmathinks@gmail.com and please include your picture. 

Thanks!




Beware, The Busy Life...





The picture above, after a long day, sun was setting and it didn't look like my day was even close to coming to an end. Needed to stretch my legs, the night was still young, flush with work. 

Suddenly I'm always swamped. It's a Sunday. It's 10 minutes to 12am and I just got home. Running helther skelter. Been busy all day. 

I'm elated. I'm ecstatic. I said, Lord, I want to be busy. I want to be preoccupied. I want to be active. 

Suddenly I find myself in the midst of people I'd only read about. I could only dream about. And I'm there with them. They look to me, I talk and they listen. Suddenly I'm the sounding board of great men. They talk to me, they make requests and I must deliver. Suddenly breakfast at 5pm is the norm. 

Now, people say "You're always busy. You work very hard"

It's almost like a drug but not exactly. It's like making sweet love yet not being able to climax. 

And why would I want coitus without the orgasm? 

Beware of the busy life. 

Beware of the appearance of busyness, the appearance of business, of importance 

With nothing to show for it. 

When it don't reflect on your bank account.

Or even on your plate! 

Everyday I learn. 

God doesn't want me to run around like a headless chicken, running ar {I pause. It's 12.02 and I must join the Halleluyah Challenge!} ound, conspicuously running around like todler high on sugar. 

Without the green notes and impact to show for it. 

So before you tell me Oh I'm so busy. Oh I'm so swamped. Oh I'm freaking knackered 

Make sure you have the credit alerts to show for it. 

Your busy life is useless if it is not a productive life. 

Stay guided. 

*Note to self. 







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Saturday, 10 June 2017

Telephone!






Ever since I became single a short while back, the number of times my personal phone rings in a day dropped drastically. I was like Oh ma gaaaaad! 😳😳😳

As in, it was so quiet that for a day or two I even forgot I had a phone. 

When I saw this question on @naijasinglegirl IG I thought about it. Like, on an average, on a regular day, I'd say about 5 times 😪😪😪. If I'm working on a project it triples and then some, but on the regular, 5 times. 2 or 3 out of those 5 would likely be from my mum sef. LOL

I used to wish I was one of those really popular (not famous) people who have many friends and business associates, whose phones don't ever stop ringing. But when my phone rings twice in 20 minutes I literally freak out! 😂

What about you?



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Friday, 9 June 2017

On Married Bachelors...




A little over a year ago I remember posting something similar to this. Men, married men particularly get to stay out late, party all night on weekends, take vacations with the boys (or with the girl), all in the name of unwinding, de-stressing, letting loose... And I asked, what does a woman do when she needs to de-stress? Or don't women need it too? I've had some tense arguments with a few married men about this; why is it okay for you to do whatever-wherever-whenever in the name of de-stressing, but not your wife? Do you honestly think it's fair?

They get defensive when they realize they cannot come out with any sensible answer beyond the "I'm a man" excuse, even when they realize that the woman does more work than they do. 

Anyways, so the post above, you already know my thoughts. What do you think?

Do you agree with her entirely, in part or not at all? Let's talk about it. Why do married men get a pass to continue living like bachelors while the woman has no such "luxury"? 





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#TheOneHour Halleluyah Challenge!






If you're on Instagram you must have seen the hashtags and posts over the last few days. The 30-day one hour Halleluyah Praise Challenge is a vision of Nathaniel Bassey and through thousands of his followers, this vision is blowing up into something earthshaking.

A few days ago when it started there were about a thousand people joining in online for the one hour praise & worship session, but last night we were about 13,000 people worshipping online between 12am-1am. 

In less than 30 minutes over 700,000 people joined in. 


The really amazing thing is the number of STUPENDOUS testimonies pouring in by people online who are a part of this Challenge. Just follow @nathanielblow on Instagram and read the hundreds of testimonies and miracles his followers are sharing. I cannot wait to share mine. 

I wouldn't forgive myself if I don't share this with you on the blog, especially for those who haven't heard about it. If you've heard about it, it's not too late to join in at all. Today is day 9, meaning we're not even close to going halfway so it's still very early enough to join in. If you're just hearing about it, well now you know!

What you need to do basically is follow @nathanielblow on Instagram, at 12am tune into his life story to be a part of the praise session and be blessed. 

Last night the comment section was interesting. I stumbled upon comments from celebrities, a few blog readers, former class mates, my role model in the events industry; Ibidun Ighodalo and even people I've done jobs for. It was amazing to see everyone praising God together. I could feel so much rejoicing in Heaven. 13,000 people around the world praising God together!

I was particularly excited to join this challenge because a couple of weeks back I with a friend of mine went to visit a family friend who's a pastor. She has the gift of seeing and after we prayed she began to talk to us. She told my friend she needed to really pray hard, told her to fast for some days and gave her some spiritual exercises to do. Me on the other hand, she said "Nwando you just need to praise God. Praise Him praise Him praise Him. That is all He wants from you. God has blessed you sooo much but rather thank Him for the things He has done you continue to complain about the things you don't have. And that can sometimes withhold blessings. In the coming days just take your time to praise Him, worship Him, sing songs to Him, just say thank You God, that is all He wants from you. If I tell you I see anything else I'm a liar". 

You'd think that that would be easy enough. The next day my friend started her fasts; 6-6. But I suddenly didnt know what it meant to Praise God. Suddenly I couldn't even say thank you or sing a single song. I'd just say at least God knows I'm grateful and move on. The lady called me a week later to ask if I've been praising God and I lied that I had, but immediately admitted that I hadn't. She asked me to give it another shot. I still found it impossible. 

So when I heard about this praise challenge I knew I just had to be a part of the movement. And boy, am I glad I am! It's the most refreshing thing I've experienced all year. 

Please I enjoin you to partake of this. You're not paying or losing anything, just an hour of sleep perhaps. And this is really one of the most beautiful things you can give to God. Your prayers are demands from Him, your money is already His actually, He does not eat food. He feeds on our praises!

One thing you need to join this is data. I've calculated it to be about 450mb-500mb with my phone, so be sure you have enough data before 12am. 

That's it people! Let's hook up at 12am tonight on @nathanielblow 's instagram story. 


Thursday, 8 June 2017

It's My Best Friend's Wedding After All...




"My husband’s best friend proposed to his girlfriend during our wedding ceremony: My husband and I started dating, got pregnant, had a child, moved in together, bought a house, and got a dog in that order. Our friends and family have asked us for years why we weren’t married yet. We always pushed it off to build better lives.

We’ve done really well for ourselves and finally reached a point where we could afford a huge blowout wedding to celebrate our lives with everyone we know and love. My husband’s best friend, “John,” was the best man/officiant. The setting was beautiful, everyone seemed happy, our families were overjoyed. My mom may have used the phrase hallelujah a few dozen times. The entire atmosphere felt moving.

So moving in fact that John stopped mid-ceremony to propose to his longtime girlfriend, “Jane,” and reveal her pregnancy. I couldn’t even hear the vows my husband wrote or the rest of the ceremony over the noise of Jane’s happy sobs, her very surprised family who were also guests, and people seated nearby congratulating her.

Even the videographer cut to her frequently during the ceremony, and you can’t hear anything over the chatter. When John gave his toast, he apologized for being caught up in the moment, and then proceeded to talk about he and Jane’s future with nary a mention of us. During the reception John and Jane became the primary focus of our guests.

John even went out of his way to ask the band for a special dance for just him and Jane on the dance floor. I’ve never been an attention hog, and I wouldn’t even have minded if he’d proposed after the ceremony, but weeks later I am still seething. I am so shocked and angry that I keep asking myself if this is real life.

My husband hasn’t spoken to John since the wedding, and our mutual friends think what he did was rude but that my husband should just get over it. My husband has joked that he’ll resume his friendship when John and Jane give him a $40,000 check for “their half of the wedding.” Do you think John’s behavior warrants the end of a long-term friendship, or we are angry over nothing."


People, what do you think about this scenario? I've heard a number of people say they'd be totally fine with this as they'd like to share the happiness of their wedding with their close friends. Others how ever think it's bollocks and do not what to share the attention on their day with anyone else... I have no idea what I'd do in their shoes, honestly. You?



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Wednesday, 7 June 2017

Talk To The Teens...









Last week, on the 30th of May, I was opportuned to talk to a number of young ladies at Aunty Ayo secondary school. 

A few days prior to the program I'd asked one of the most talented and brilliant public speakers I know the three most important things he would say if he was speaking to teenage girls aged 14 to 19. Rather than answer what I'd asked, he said he didn't think I should engage in mentorship programs for now as he felt that at this moment in my life I should be extremely selfish with my time. 

"But what about the fulfillment it would give me?" I asked him. 

"Your fulfillment right now should be watching your monetary investments have children"

LOL. Of course I paid him no mind, but still I was fidgety. I went to him for advise because I had no clue what I would say to them. 

You see, I've been scared silly of teenagers especially the female ones, so I generally avoid them. Days leading to the event I started to wish I'd told Clare I couldn't make it. I couldn't quite fathom what I was going to say to them. I wrote note after note but everything ended in the thrash. The night before, I decided, you know what, just go and talk to them the way you wish an adult would've talked to you when you were 17. 

And that was all I needed. I'm so glad I didn't chicken out because It was probably the most fun I've had in agesssss!

I was surprised to find that these girls were eager to learn and hungry for information. I noticed that they flourished and their faces lit up in the face of the attention they were getting. 

I noticed also that many have dreams but may stick to the lawyer-doctor path, if they further their education, because they think that that's what's expected of them, while ignoring their own dreams and passions. 

I was surprised to learn that some are already leaning towards entrepreneurship. This one girl came to talk to me. Her parents want her to study medicine, and while she doesn't mind, she would also like to be able to make and sell her Ankara bags and slippers, a craft she learnt while interning during her last holiday. Her parents have forbidden her from doing this as they think it's a sign of poverty, they think the only noble course is university then white collar. You could tell that sending her to Uni would be a huge financial burden on them so the girl is frightened to do anything that would upset them. 

I was quite sad to hear this. It's ironic, as these days well-off parents are actually encouraging and teaching their kids to learn crafts, finances and the basics of business. I've attended a few trade fares in the Lekki/VI environs solely for children to display and sell their wares which are often baked goods, handmade jewelry and accessories, just like the ones the young girl above dreams of selling. 

Talking to and listening to these teens was a real eye opener for me. I would encourage anyone who has teenagers around them not to ignore them as many of us, especially me, are wont to do. Instead, talk to them and actually LISTEN to them. Honestly, there's a world of reasons why this is important. 

For instance, this apathy towards teenagers is the reason a lot of them worldwide are getting involved with games like the #Bluewhalechallenge. It's this game for teenagers that gives them a new instruction with each stage they conquer. When you get to the final stage, the instruction is "KILL YOURSELF" and at least 130 teen suicides in Europe have been linked to this game. Barely months ago, teen friends aged 15 and 16 jumped to their deaths from the roof of a 14-stores building. The younger one left a note saying "End" on her social media page after she posted a picture of a blue whale. 

This is just one of the tons of reasons why we need to talk to, listen to, mentor and guide these younger ones. I honestly think teens are the most ignored demographic in the world. 

On the other hand, I also learnt a lot listening to Oyinda (Miss Pynk of www.pynk360.com), our other speaker. In fact I think I needed that talk more than the girls did. LOL. 

I look forward to doing more of this. It was truly rewarding. 

Tuesday, 6 June 2017

Blue & Yellow.





Walking into my parents' house yesterday for the first time in days after being dealt a hard blow of rejection, trying to hold the tears in, my mum saw me and her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. "Ah ahn, you're looking fine o!" She said. I rolled my eyes and looked away. "Hmmm" she came closer to me to get a better look, lifting my chin up with her fingers. "You're looking very fine. Ha! I am happy to see you like this o! What is the secret?" She laughed. Indeed she was happy. I smiled politely, tiredly walking away. I thought she was just exaggerating things for reasons best known to her. 

But an hour later when my dad walked in and saw me and bared his 32 teeth in a grin, I couldn't help wondering what that was about. Especially as he just kept grinning and looking at me. "What?" I asked, nearly alarmed. 

"Nothing... You just look particularly thrilling this night... Very... resplendent" he said, smiling cheerily. 

My heart at that point melted in gratitude, in appreciation for my parents. I walked to the mirror and saw my face; pale and drawn, my eyes, tired from trying to hold in tears. And were those lines I was seeing? My waistline wider than I thought it should be. My hair; old and overdue for a change. My entire appearance, just off...

And I couldn't help but think; ARE MY PARENTS STONED?

LOL. 

This post isn't about rejection or pain but gratitude. I have felt so full of thanks since yesterday for the kind of parents I have. My parents love me to the point of distraction, but that's alright, they are my parents after all! But when your parents look at you and tell you things that you're looking beautiful, you look particularly thrilling, you look resplendent... then they're superheroes!

This morning I woke up and my mum already had my breakfast made, neatly tucked away in the microwave. I must remember to either give it away somehow before she returns home, I still can't push any food down, the last thing I want is her asking what's wrong... A few hours after I woke up, daddy came to talk to me. About nothing in particular, he said. I just want to talk to you, we've not talked in a while, he said. I smiled but quietly slunk away. Their kindness was threatening to break open those steel floodgates held by thread, I can't have them see me cry... Happiness is a rare luxury in these times and I don't want to taint theirs with my cloudiness. 

But at this moment I'd like to take the time to thank God for parents who call me everyday just to check up on me, parents who tell me they love me and believe in me, parents who have never for a second asked "When are you getting married" but instead would go to any lengths to ensure that I'm insanely happy, parents who tell me "Yours will surely come and it will be better than you ever imagined", parents who not only love me but express that love in many beautiful ways.

I don't know what I would have done without those two. I'm not the best of daughters, I probably haven't lived up to their expectations... But their love for me continues to grow in leaps and bounds. 

Today, I'm grateful for my parents. 


Guys, I know life is never perfect but there's a lot to be grateful for. Share with me those people and those things you feel most grateful for right now.  





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Thursday, 1 June 2017

No Mrs. No Work.





I feel like I should be venting out in righteous indignation right now, unfortunately I'm too amused to be mad. 

So here's what happened. I was referred to someone to plan and coordinate a book launch cum seminar. Mr A and I had our first conversation over the phone and subsequently Whatsapp. We chatted back and forth for a couple of days, sending my ideas, my quotation, my suggestions etc. 

Mr A said he found me innovative and my prices fair. He said he liked my dedication and he was sure I would deliver. He therefore decided so far so good. Let's move this to the next level. Set up a meeting, talk to me in person, discuss further and seal the deal so that I can get the ball rolling. Sounded great. 

So Mr A asked me to meet him at Marrocaine VI late afternoon. I got there before him, I love to be punctual. He arrived five minutes late, ordered a soft drink and began to ask me questions. I'd come prepared and he seemed impressed. He tried to haggle a bit but I explained to him why I charged the way I did. He nodded in understanding and asked for my account details, retrieving his phone from his suite pocket to make a part payment. 

I started to call out the digits when my phone vibrated and I immediately put on silent. "It's okay, take your call" he urged me kindly. "Nah, it's not a problem really. It's just the driver calling to find out if I've gotten my nephews from school. I've dropped them at home already". 

"Your nephews? What about your own kids?" He asked curiously. 

"None yet" I grinned. 

"You're married right?" He asked, brows raised, forehead creasing. 

"Not yet" I smiled. 

Mr A had an expression I couldn't quite decipher. He leaned back into his seat, and fiddled with his phone. 

"I thought you were married" he said apologetically, slowly putting his phone back in the pocket, account details forgotten. 

That single move was reminiscent of what they call failure at the edge of breakthrough in MFM. 😂

"What's the problem" I asked, amusement on my lips. I suspected his answer but I needed to hear him say it. 

"I'll be very honest with you Nwando. I just think I'd be more comfortable putting this project in the hands of someone who is married". 

I burst out laughing. I'm not sure why. Funnier even, is the fact that he isn't either. 

That was on Friday. I tried to push, to convince him that my marital status played no role in my competence, but he was adamant about it. 

So we ended the meeting cordially and parted ways. 


Well like my mum says, what is yours is yours. So I tried not to let that get to me too much. But you know, what's annoying is society looking at you funny when you're passed the 30 mark and unmarried, and then you're strong and sensible enough to ignore that. But when that starts to get in the way of my money... Yes, now that's a problem! 😡😡😠


Ok. Rant over. 

LOL. Today is Monday people, let's go get that money, smash those goals and be the very best version of ourselves! 

Wednesday, 31 May 2017

MUST READ: My Daughter with Cerebral Palsy Was Battered by the Therapist I Trusted



Cerebral Palsy is a parent’s worst nightmare. I had my period of living in denial; wishing the problem would go away, like it was all a dream, but the reality stared me in the face.

My husband and I decided to face the challenge before us squarely.

We engaged different specialist; Neurologist, Paediatrician, Physiotherapist, Speech therapist, Occupational therapist, Special Needs Care Givers. At one point we were scouting for a very good physiotherapist.

A parent of a special needs child recommended a young lady to me. I mentioned her name to one of my daughter’s therapist who confirmed that the lady was very good at her job. However, she also confirmed that the lady could be arrogant. I spoke with another therapist on the field who also confirmed that the recommended Physiotherapist was good at what she does but she could be rude.

Well, at that point of my life, I didn’t mind if she was going to be rude to me or arrogant as far as she was as good as everyone had said, I was fine with that. All I wanted was to see was my child’s improvement, I could take any sh*t in between.

She came on board as my daughter’s physiotherapist. She was very professional and dedicated, but she didn’t come cheap. She didn’t come cheap at all.
My daughter attended a mainstream school that allowed her to use the sickbay as her pullout room for her physiotherapy session.

In June 2016, my daughter’s school proprietress requested that my husband and I should make out time to see her. When we eventually did a week later, she told us that the physiotherapist had manhandled our daughter and she was going to show us a CCTV recording to prove it.

At the back of my mind I felt the woman was exaggerating because therapy could be demanding at times. My child may cry, if she didn’t like the exercise or if the exercise was tasking.
However, when I watched the video, I was shocked beyond words that someone I trusted with my daughter could treat her worse than an animal. I believe that even an animal shouldn’t be treated that way.

I mean, she came highly recommended; she is a Masters degree holder. She is not an illiterate.
Apparently she didn’t remember that there was a CCTV in the room or she felt nobody would be checking the TV at that particular time.

It was heartbreaking to see my daughter treated by a health worker in such barbaric act.
I watched my daughter as she fell down several times hitting her head on the tiles. There were times she hit her head on the edge of the wooden bed before falling to the ground.

Her Physiotherapist slapped her three times; the third time with her cell phone. She left her head hanging upside for 5 minutes. She twisted my daughter’s hands several times; at a point she sat on her hands, at another point she tied her hands behind her head. I watched as my daughter fell from her chair while her neck was stuck in between the space at the vertical back rest and the flat wood used for sitting down. I watched on as this lady typed on her phone 90% of the time only taking some time off to torture my daughter. Did I mention that she took out time to take her selfie? Up to five times.

After we watched the recording, my husband could not control his tears. My heart bled.
My daughter’s Neurologist said we cannot ascertain the level of damage to her brain because we did not bring her immediately it happened. He said an MRI would have been done to ascertain any damage.
I got her arrested.
She said she was sorry
She claimed depression and ill health
I didn’t believe her then, I don’t believe her now.

I had to make a decision, to leave my daughter in the hands of her nannies at home (which maybe another source of abuse) and follow through to ensure the physiotherapist was duly punished. (Bearing in mind the justice system in Nigeria) or drop the charges lodged at the police station and allow Medical Rehabilitation Therapists Board at Yaba to handle the matter.

I dropped the police charges. I decided to stay with my traumatized daughter.
I handed the Physiotherapist over to the Registrar at Medical Rehabilitation Therapists Board at Yaba.

Her punishment:
• Three months withdrawal of her practicing license.
• Three months work in a general hospital under supervision without pay
• She was to undergo a psychiatric test
Like seriously? Are you kidding me?
She had been practicing for a year without renewing her license and all you could do was to withdraw her license officially for a mere three months?

She went back to the Registrar at Medical Rehabilitation Therapists to ask for permission to travel to USA to get treatment.

I called to check on the case, and I was told she had travelled for treatment
I was told not to worry as she cannot practice anywhere else in the world without a letter from the board.
Some months later, I was told by a reliable source that she was not taking any major treatments but attending a masters programme in US.

So she got away with child abuse, assault, battery, in fact attempted murder.
This is only possible in Nigeria right?

I went back to Medical Rehabilitation Center, I was shocked to find out that the case had gone cold.
What stops her from coming back into the country and working with other children?
How many Nigerians ask for practicing license before employing a professional?

I strongly believe that the least the board should have done was to declare her unfit to work with children.
In respect to my daughter, the signs were there: She had been withdrawn for a while in fact she had stop smiling, interacting with anybody in the house or attempting to answer questions in school. I kept asking the care giver that followed her to school about the sudden change. The caregiver said she had no idea. I came up with my own theory and I brushed it aside.

How would I have known that a health worker, someone I trusted with my child could be so cruel? The Physiotherapist had been with us for over two years. I can only imagine….

Well, I pulled my daughter out of school and started her own mini school at home. I let go of my current caregivers for good reasons and got new ones. With care and love, she added weight, came out of her shell and got better. Right now she attends a school three times a week and we are making progress.

Child abuse is real…from the people you least expect. Protect your children.

Watch the CCTV footage here:


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I'm am enraged. Please watch this video if you can. Mrs Bukola why haven't you written the full names of this supposed doctor and all the information you have about her? She deserves to be brought to book, this right here is both a civil and criminal offense. Why do we take things so lightly? I know that I can never feel even one-tenth of the mother's pain but I'm pained. I'm pained because this spawn of satan has been allowed to run off to the U.S. to start a new life as though nothing happened whatsoever. People would see her and think that she is a human being. People will entrust the lives of their children in her hands and only God knows what would happen. It doesn't matter that she is in the US or Jupiter. It is unlikely that she changed her name. Please this should not simply be used as a warning to mothers. This is cold hard evidence and this woman ought to be locked up.  




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