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That Moment When Thelma Is Broke!

Ok Monday mornings, I usually like to start on a light happy cheery easy breezy note in hopes that it will set the tune for the rest of the week. Today however, is just not one of those Mondays. 
And on this rare occasion I actually will announce that I am broke!
Like, very broke. 
I never carry my brokeness like a plaque because I'm often finding ways to get out of it, and even when I don't I could look bouyant even when I've not eaten for days. Lol. But things have just been weird AF in these last few months. Like last night for instance, when I wanted to go to the movies so that at least for two hours I could forget about the worries of being single, lonely and broke, but I couldn't even afford an Uber, much less the movie!
So I sat down on my bed and ate 3 large cucumbers, no not fitfam o! I wanted seafood pasta with white wine but when I opened my fridge and saw only cucumbers I quietly laid them on a tray, poured water into a wine glass, balanced in front of the TV a…
Recent posts

Issa Confession Post.

Wawu! People are something else. I want to confess oh, but the people who have the confessions will open this post, then what will I do? 😰
Oya TTB readers, if the world was really going to end what would you confess? Drop your confessions below 😉



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Mama Lied!

Sorry but it's been so long I tied Gele on my head that I can't stop ogling myself in these pics.
Yesterday mummy and I went for her former boss' 80th birthday party. She used to work for a now defunct insurance company, and left there I think in 2002, not long before the company winded up. So basically many of the guests at yesterday's party hadn't seen each other in well over 10 years. 
My mama don't play so yesterday was something else, first she went to get her hair done, then she went to get her nails fixed, then she came home to get dressed and then she went to have her gele tied and make up did at Iya Anu's shop, and then she donned her big girl gold and off we went for Chief Adetunji's 80th. 
It was like a high school reunion, and I just couldn't stop rolling my eyes at my mother. My mum and I have veeeeeeery different personalities. Mummy is the outgoing flambouyant type who likes to be the centre of attention. She's the type that gets to …

Thelma Asks...

Oh wow. Just $5?
Ok I guess I'll have to go with 4 & 6. Wealthy and great sex. Don't judge me. LOL. 
And while we're on the topic, let me ask. I've got this friend that doesn't like, or is indifferent about that one thing that most girls want in a man, and that's a big eggplant. For some reason, for her,  the smaller the better. 
I know, I don't understand it either 😕😅. 
So I'm asking you, what's that one thing in members of the opposite sex that most people like but you're indifferent about it?
For me its height (and (6) packs). Most girls want a man who's much taller than they are, but I find that I'm totally indifferent. I mean, I don't want to be with a tiny man but I don't mind being taller than my man at all. And as for the packs, for me the fewer the better. I don't even mind a small pot belly 🙈😂😂😂.
Now it's your turn. Build your ideal man with $5. And (ladies & gentlemen) tell me something most people of y…

LOUD.

2am and I'm here eyes wide open, just getting home after a few drinks with a few good friends, and then some. 
This guy who looked to be about 25 walked up to me, smiling flirtatiously, and asked if I'd like to dance with him. I didn't. Then he asked if I wanted to take a walk. I did. 
We got to a balcony and he brought out something to smoke. The smell was unfamiliar. "What's that?"
"Loud" he said. 
****** 
The rate at which young millenials are doing drugs is alarming. Very alarming. Females especially. It's a lot more rampant with young females these days. Loud. Codeine. Cocaine. And God Knows What Else!
Last week I went for drinks at a friend's restaurant and this young lady, about 19, was having virgin cocktails with an older woman. I'd initially thought that must be her Mum or aunt. The owner let me know that that's her chaperone. 
"Chaperone?"
"Yeah. She was in rehab, she's an addict. Ever since coming out of rehab …

How Girls Act In Yaba Market.

Hahaha. Yaba and Bolugun market 😂. I'm legit number 1. Where are the number 8s ? You're the type of friend I'm looking for 😉😉😉







If I'm So Amazing Then Why Do They Leave?

So I didn't think much of this chat because the sender is a non-factor but then driving through traffic later in the morning and having time to think random thoughts, it occurred to me that this is yet another ex that has come to say I'm sorry I hurt you you're an amazing person. I hope I don't come off sounding conceited because I don't intend to, but I don't think I've got an ex who didn't come back later to tell me how wonderful/amazing/beautiful/fantastic/good-hearted I am. Of course at that point it doesn't matter as there's already water under the bridge, so they all just want me to know they're "sorry" and I'm "amazing".
This one for instance has been calling my friends for months, telling them he needs to talk to me, that he did me wrong even though I was near perfect and did nothing to deserve that kind of treatment, says he just needs to apologize.
I've heard this all before. In fact if I got paid everytim…

3 Reasons Why I Won't Mentor You.

Asking someone to mentor you is sometimes frightening to a would-be mentor.

Mentoring is very mentally expensive. It requires letting another person into your personal space.

Some people aren't comfortable with that. Some lead very private lives.

Some have problems of their own that they might not be comfortable letting the public know.

If they were to let this stranger in under the guise of mentorship, would she know how to comport herself?

How would she handle the level of confidence she has been promoted to?

How would she handle the sensitive information that she would now have access to?

Would she try to promote herself and become overfamiliar?

Would she chase my husband (if she's a woman)?

Does she have a hidden agenda to get sexually intimate (if it's a man)?

Would she go running her mouth and 'screenshotting' our conversations just to impress friends about her closeness to me?

Is she going to turn me into a dumping ground for her problems?

Is she entitled?
Does she have …

The Weekend

THE WEDDING 







Last weekend was a whirlwind of events for me, and that's why I wasn't here a lot. So on Saturday I attended a former classmate's wedding with my friend Idu. Idu and I got into this little argument about being best friends in QC. you see the way I remembered it, I had another bestie(s) then one day Idu tells me I'm her best friend. I was like 😳😳😳. This weekend however I was telling Idu that I was meant to go out with Bukky and she asked "which Bukky?", I said "My best friend in QC". She said "Wait Nwando, I thought I was your bestfriend? You said I was your bestfriend!😳?"  
#Awkward!!!
I now explained to her that err, she wasn't but she told me that I'm hers so I had to play the part. Idu got mad and swore that it was the other way around, that I told her she's my bestie so she had to play the part and on and on we argued. Like really argued. I was amazed at how mad she was, I'm like babes chill yo, that was 1…