I 'wander' about love, life, lifestyle, relationships, current affairs, literature, people, romance, celebrities, your story, my story, the past, the future and everything in between.

Wednesday, 27 July 2016

#Chified. What Do You See?




Is the person in the image above familiar to you? Have you seen her pictures on social media before? When you see her pictures what comes to your mind? 












I never knew who she was until I started seeing her photos on some gossip blogs, with the obvious intention of attracting traffic and comments, because the bloggers know just the kind of reactions this kind of pictures would get. 

There's no name that some wouldn't call the person in this picture and I'd nearly shudder at the hate. Like, if you're that disgusted, why click on the post, why open it, why scroll down?

I don't know why, but from the first I saw her pictures I totally liked her. Chified is an Igbo lady, she's a professional footballer who plays (and lives in) for Denmark, i think. She's also a fitness trainer (duh!) and from her social media bio, she's a budding artiste. 

I searched for her on Instagram and followed her STAT! Some people might see a freak or a lesbian (of which we're not even sure she's one) but I see someone with a beautiful aura. I have a strong admiration for people who are harmlessly 'different' and are not afraid to embrace their uniqueness, especially when they're aware it would get them a lot of flack, bullying, insults and negativity. 
      Also, I don't know if you know much about fitness, but a woman has got to be a beast in the gym to get abs and a toned body like that. I comot cap! Like, I literally nearly die just doing a plank for 60 seconds so #respect! Oh, and I watch her IG videos too, this chica can move for dayssss, as in, the girl can dance, hot damn! 

I'm not sure there's a point to this post but maybe if I can use my own little voice to tell someone who might not like what they see when they look at Chified, to remember that before they voice their ugly opinions they need to remember that she is a person, just like them. In fact, she's probably even better than them; she's talented, she's MULTI talented, she's disciplined (you've got to be to have that body!), she's got team mates and fans who love her, she's most likely richer than they are, also remember she's somebody's child, and most importantly, she's just doing her. If you cannot respect that, the least you can do is leave her be!

I know not everyone would share my views and you're free to state yours... 



And on that note I'm back to Instagram to continue ogling God's diverse beautiful creations. Goodnight! 



Photo source: Instagram; @chified 

Tuesday, 26 July 2016

Chrisyinks: Adopting an Improved View on Learning International Languages





One of the dictionary’s definitions of the word ‘language’ is the systematic means of communicating by the use of sounds or conventional symbols. Underpinning this definition and other definitions of this word is the emphasis on communication a crucial aspect of living in this era. The prevalent phenomenon of this age –globalization – has created enormous benefits for those who can effectively communicate their value, and exchange services with the varied people and cultures that inhabit this planet.


Nigeria is a culturally rich country with a diverse population possessing visible language divides. With about 500 ethnic groups and each one boasting its almost unique language or dialect, supremacy of the language of communication is often fought between the three dominant ethnic groups and their respective languages – Hausa, Igbo and Yoruba Language. This has had the consequent effect of a tacit neglect of how best we can integrate globally and leverage on the world’s culture and its vast human resources for strategic goals. Asides EnglisLanguage that has its roots from our colonial past, we cannot boast of other foreign languages that are spoken by many of our citizens – French Language, although being taught in some schools hasn’t been given the requisite attention needed in effectively learning a language.


As a personal example, in my secondary school days, I was mandated to take the three major Nigerian languages as subjects and pass them. Although, knowledge was being added, I dare say that it was a sub-optimal use of any pupils time given the relative obscurity of any of these individual languages on the global landscape. Till today, I only communicate in one of those languages – my own dialect. Being a member of an international non-governmental organization, often times when international conferences are scheduled, there is usually the issue of Nigerian attendees not being able to enjoy rich conversations in the local tongue of prominent host countries. A contrast to many of our African counterparts that hail from Francophone countries, yet make diligent effort to learn the English language (Nigeria’s official business language), hence having the added competence of enjoying to a higher degree, the diverse and differing culture the world offers.Singapore had a similar issue when in their formative days as a self-governing nation, four languages (Chinese Mandarin, Tamil, Malay and English Language) prevailed with a number of other dialects used in communication. It took a calculated effort by its leaders to straddle the beneficial path where international relevance was not sacrificed on the altar of preserving cultural identity. Achieving this goal enabled Singaporeans to be of better relevance to global businesses as against their other Asian counterparts, and experience enormous leaps in their development as a nation.


I reason a holistic approach has to be adopted in ensuring that Nigerians are better equipped to communicate their competencies, skills, knowledge and effectively integrate to the immense opportunities provided by globalization thereby enhancing our competitive advantage. It is not uncommon these days to see job opportunities requiring interested applicants to speak proficiently or at least professionally two or more international languages.


I believe that if schools can come up with a curriculum to meet this language gap, we can take longer strides towards better leveraging the opportunities being a polyglot offers. This approach should not discount other educational fora that can be harnessed for this purpose, for learning isn’t restricted to the four walls of a classroom. Astonishingly, research enlightens us that a child in his/her early stages of development can comfortably learn as many as six languages.


I posit that we have a primary and secondary school curriculum that mandates students to learn at least one local and one international language. At university level, all students should be mandated to learn in their first year, another international language with students in the language field mandated to major in any language of their choice with a minor in another international language and encouraged to take courses that teach yet another foreign language. It is easier for a language student to appreciate the selected language course of study when he/she can contrast that language with other languages.

While I understand the need to preserve one’s heritage and that to achieve this, one has to preserve and distill one’s language to the younger generations, I reason that pre-tertiary education can be reformed to achieve the aim of ingraining cultural identity. Additionally, heritage centers that entrench our indigenous languages should be commissionedIt is a good plus that the Nigerian society and its prevalent communal approach to life helps transmit our local languages to the young.

 


PS: I define International/Foreign languages as languages prominent in International business and the world’s landscape: French, Chinese, Arabic, and German.

Monday, 25 July 2016

Missing The One. (It Goes Down In The DM...)






Not missing as in missing/longing for someone. But missing as in lost, as in lose/miss an opportunity, or something... 

Ok, this is very random. Over the years I've met and heard of several people who met their husbands on social media, facebook to be precise. I've always wondered about it and made halfhearted mental notes to pay more attention to my facebook inbox, yet I never get round to doing that. 

I dunno why but I just feel some type of way about strangers messaging me on social media for "friendship". 

So now I've just met someone celebrating her marriage and she couldn't stop gushing about her husband, and how they met. Apparently he sent her a FB request, she accepted it and then he inboxed her saying "thanks for accepting my request, I'll like to know you better...."  And today they're married and she seems soooo in love. 

And then I looked at myself, do you know how many "thanks for accepting my request messages" I've shunned 😩😩😩? 
      I feel really weird about receiving messages from male strangers on social media, I feel even more disturbed by "thanks for accepting my request" messages. They just make me feel icky somehow. Like, I don't even open the chat at all, my default reaction to such messages is see this loser/scammer/weirdo/and other un-nice adjectives. 

And now I'm lying in bed wondering HAVE I MISSED MY HUSBAND?!



LOL. How do you feel about direct messages (DM) from strangers on social media. Do you keep an open mind about it and reply to their chats, or do shut it down instantly? What are your experiences so far with people you've met on social media? Please share your romantic and regretful (if any) DM stories.

Sunday, 24 July 2016

A Very Heartbreaking Account Of Domestic Violence.













WTF did I just read!? 

What I don't understand is how someone can endure this for so long. I have a question for DV victims, isn't the beating painful? The kicking, the flogging, the injuries... Are they not painful? Like, even if mentally or emotion you cannot leave, e no dey pain una for body? Is the pain not enough reason to make one run away? I just don't get it... I sincerely pray this lady finds healing. Her mind and soul must be severely battered by now. 



Culled, @make_or_breakup Instagram. 




No Longer At Ease.





And so just this afternoon I went hunting for a pack of razor blades from a mallam kiosk. I don't know if I'm the only one who's noticed but even little things like razor blades now have fakes. Tiger is very scarce these days and what most Mallams sell is Tigger. This poor counterfeit is a problem when you're using it for grooming. So on getting to my third mallam shed in the hope of finding Tiger, I noticed it had an unusual number of "mallams" hanging around but still I approached the shed, because my brows desperately need grooming. On getting close, one began to chant some prayers, I think, not in Hausa, but Arabic. Another followed suit and another. They were not on their prayer mats or performing ablution but scattered randomly, some seated, some standing. Immediately my heart began to race and I thought I was about to be lynched. I did a mental assessment of how I was dressed and eventhough it was "decent" in my opinion, I couldn't help but fear for my life. I hurriedly retreated and gave up on my blade search. Now I cannot say they were about to lynch me or do anything sinister for that, I don't know if they were praying innocently or just conversing, but these days people get killed like flies and it seems that with just a cry of Allahu Akbar everything is fine. 

You might wonder why I would fear for my life when I live in Lagos, yet had I not seen what I saw with my own eyes some weeks ago, like you, I would have thought the same too. This was about a week after Bridget was beheaded in Kano for refusing that ablution be done at her own shop's entrance. It was a Friday and jummat had just ended at the very popular Lekki phase 1 mosque. A young woman driving an SUV made to drive out of a narrow street where some men were praying. Bear in mind that this is a general street, used for general passage. A number of worshippers had blocked the road and her offence was that she honked for them to make way for her. Now please know that this road is a close, meaning it's entrance and exit are the same and she had no alternative passage. 

I saw with my own eyes how this woman was nearly brutally battered, you'd think things would be different in Lagos but apparently not. I watched, terror stricken as hundred of "worshippers" surrounded her car, some even climbing on top it, trying to break in and drag her out. Something about that scene was remiscent of Micheal Jackson's Thriller video. Had several LASTMA AND Police officers, not intervened and with arms too, we would have had another case of Bridget on our hands. Now even when the security officers were able to restore some order, some of the worshippers still took it upon themselves to deface her face, using stones to scratch the sides, banging against her windscreen and windows to break them, and I saw one viciously hit and break off her rear view mirror. 

My uber driver began to panic for he thought his end was near. I told him to keep calm and look away. I wanted to take pictures of this account because I knew words would not do this incident justice but I also feared for myself so I dared not, we were only few feet away from the riot. And you know, if this could happen in an upscale part of Lagos like Lekki phase 1, then Lagos is not as exempt from terror as we think it is. 

I wanted to do a post about it but to be honest, I was afraid. I wrote on it and a few other things but I didn't post it because this religion that they constantly say is one of peace, is one that invokes a deep sense of fear in the hearts of many. So many of us stay silent. It also doesn't help that we have a President who turns a blind eye to all that is going on. A President who sympathizes and consoles with victims in far away continents, in far away countries like Germany, yet when his own people are getting killed on a daily basis in his own country he stays mute. Bear in mind that the killer in that same Germany has been apprehended but over hear, na OYO we dey! Christians and being killed and nobody is saying anything, all we do is go on social media to rant. Fulani herdsmen and are killing people by the hundreds every week, a lot of these mass murders are not even reported in mainstream media, yet our President seems to have nothing to say, no promises, no sympathy, no empathy, no threats, no concern. Just apathy! 

Is it therefore any surprise that I went to a mallam shed and when they suddenly started to chant casually, I fled the scene? I realize that I may be in my home land yet I'm not longer at ease, very far from it. 


Saturday, 23 July 2016

Bizarre Tradition Where The "Hyena" Has Sexual Intercourse With Womenand Young Girls To Cleanse Them.


You know, there are times I actually struggle with the "validity" of religion and Christianity, especially when I consider how it was brought to us; practically imposed on us by westerners telling us (sort of just like they still are) that our own ways are not good enough, that our traditions are balderdash and theirs is the "authentic" one. Also when you see that those same people who brought it have mostly moved on from it, some of them treating it like an ugly obsolete hobby, and us, with our slave mentality are still carrying it on our heads like gala... I find I'm liking this thing called religion less and less each day. It is and has been, responsible for way too much death and evil in the world that it's beginning to look not at all Godly, holy, moral or just. In any case, in my quiet moments I weigh the pros and the cons of Christianity being brought by the missionaries, and one thing it was good for at least, was abolishing repugnant practices in some places. Unfortunately however many of these practices still exist, one of which I just read about on Bella Naija and find rather sickening. Read below. 



This man, Eric Aniva is being paid between $4 – $7 (between N1,500 and N2,650 using the current black market rate)by parents to sleep with their children in what they call “sexual cleansing”.
They say it is an age long tradition that marks the progression of adolescent girls to womanhood. Also, if a woman loses her husband, she is brought to people like Aniva for cleansing before she can bury him. If women get an abortion, they are brought to him for cleansing too.
Aniva is called “hyena” by the community and he told BBC’s Ed Butler that there are about 10 of them in the community. He says that each community in the Nsanje district has an “hyena”. He says he started the practice in 1985.
He says that it is a traditional title given to a man hired by communities to perform the sexual cleansing rituals.
12-13 year old girls are brought to him immediately after their first menstruation for him to transition them to womanhood.
Three women, FagisiChrissie and Phelia who the report says are in there 50s are responsible for the preparation of the adolescent girls. They organise the girls into camps each year, teaching them about their duties as wives and how to please a man sexually. Finally, the Hyena defiles them to complete their “transition”.
If the girls refuse to play along, it is believed that some disease or fatal misfortune could befall their families or the village as a whole.
“Most of those I have slept with are girls, school-going girls. Some girls are just 12 or 13 years old, but I prefer them older. All these girls find pleasure in having me as their hyena. They actually are proud and tell other people that ‘this man is a real man, he knows how to please a woman’,” Aniva says.
Aniva adds that he has two wives who know what he does for a living. He says he has 5 children that he knows of, stating that he’s not sure how many women and girls he must have gotten pregnant.
One of the girls, speaking to Butler said, “There was nothing else I could have done. I had to do it for the sake of my parents. If I’d refused, my family members could be attacked with diseases – even death – so I was scared.”
Butler challenged Fagisi, Chrissie and Phelia about the practice, saying that instead of “cleansing” the women, Aniva could be spreading disease because the custom demands that the sex must be without condoms. They responded by telling him that men like Aniva are hand-picked for their good morals, and therefore cannot be infected with HIV/AIDS.
But that is not the case, as Aniva confided in Butler that he is actually infected with the virus. He says he’s slept with about 104 women, but Butler believes he’s lost count as that was the same number he gave journalists in 2012.
The report states that in Malawi’s central Dedza district, hyenas are only ever used to initiate widows or infertile women. “The Paramount Chief in the District, Theresa Kachindamoto – a rare female figurehead in Malawi – has made the fight against the tradition a personal priority,” Butler said.
“She is trying to galvanise other regional chiefs to make similar efforts. In some other districts, like Mangochi in the east of the country, ceremonies are being adapted to replace sex with a more benign anointing of the girl,” he added.
One of Aniva’s wives, Fanny who he “cleansed” after her husband’s death, says that she hates her husband’s job.
“I don’t want that to happen. I want this tradition to end. We are forced to sleep with the hyenas. It’s not out of our choice and that I think is so sad for us as women,” she responded when asked if she will allow her 2-year old to be cleansed when she reaches the age.
Aniva too doesn’t want that for his beloved daughter. “Not my daughter. I cannot allow this. Now I am fighting for the end of this malpractice,” he responds to the same question.
“For sure. For real, I’m stopping,” he added.
***
Did this man just say he doesn't want it for his daughter? Jokes!

Name The African President...





Name the African President –

Was over 70 years old when elected President. Voted in on a wave of populism and on his 4th attempt.
Ran against and ousted an incumbent. His opponent in the election was an erstwhile Vice President who became President after the former President took ill and died in office.
There was general disillusionment with the incumbent’s performance and allegations of corruption (especially in the oil and gas sector and pertaining to crude oil sales) was rife.
His supporters argued that though he lacks a formal education that he has the required prior experience from holding political office at various levels.
Known as a disciplinarian, and action man, for ‘speaking his mind’ and his ‘anti-corruption’ stance.
He vowed to lead by example, root out corruption, and also to cater to the poor, putting money in people’s pockets.
His co travelers and alleged major campaign sponsors had corruption overhangs, a number had ongoing corruption cases at the nations courts.
He pledged to strengthen the local currency against the US$ and probe the sale / privatization of some state companies.
A couple of months into his tenor his axe came down on a number of multinationals that included a major Telecom provider (owned by a leading African country), the biggest bank in the country etc. He also deported a number of CEOs of major multinationals. Some people where worried while most cheered him on.
His early days in office where characterized by unguarded and often outlandish statements and claims. His speeches more often than not went off script which led to his official spokespeople scampering to rationalize his statements.
Almost a year into his tenor in office there was no clear economic policy direction (people were asked to be patient and regaled with tales of how corrupt the previous administration was) rather, the investing public where at the receiving end of a barrage of wild statements.
This was followed by deterioration in press freedom, a clampdown on perceived opponents.
Then came a flurry of FX Demand Management Monetary Policies, increased taxes, threats of sanctions, against multinationals, media persecution and prosecution of perceived political enemies under the guise of an anti-corruption war with near to zero conviction rate.
He introduced the Treasury Single Account (TSA), a unified structure of bank accounts which gives a consolidated position of Government’s cash resources. The TSA System’s aim was to improve the Government’s ability to efficiently and effectively manage public financial resources by refining current payments processes, and eliminating redundant procedures between itself and its clients.
There was increased public debt, borrowing to fund recurrent expenditure.
Despite the allegations of corruption leveled at the erstwhile President and former ruling party during the campaigns, and despite series of probes, investigations and court appearances, not a single major conviction was secured
Observers cautioned that an uncertain environment raises anxiety among investors…that uncertainty is not good for any business. But the party cadres smelt blood in the water…based on emotive patriotic zeal people insisted that foreign companies must ‘learn to do business in our country or leave’. A lot of people actually applauded…a constant an reinvigorating Amen Corner.
Today analysts say that the country’s problems have “been exacerbated by a lack of fiscal restraint and policy volatility that has undermined investor confidence”.
Who is this President?

And the correct answer is

……………………………….

*drum rolls*

…………………………….

*more drum rolls*

…………………………….

*and more drum rolls*

…………………………….

*and plenty, plenty more drum rolls*

The late President Michael Chilufya Sata, the fifth (Republican) President of Zambia. He was President on the platform of the Patriotic Front party from the 23rd of September 2011 until his death on the 28th of October 2014.

I suspect that most of you got it wrong.


You got it wrong. True or false? 

Friday, 22 July 2016

Ask Kon. (Miss 'They Say He's an Outcaste').






Ask Kon is new segment on TTB where blog readers get to send in their mails to our very own Kon and he in turn would share his candid opinion and/or advise. The rest of us get to share our thoughts in the section too. Kon is not an expert but his interesting views on various issues spanning different topics lend him a lot of appeal. Also, he is a GUY and don't we all wish we had a male friend to help us navigate the murky waters of love and life? You can send your Ask Kon mails to thelmathinks@gmail.com. 

Mails addressed to Kon should be simply titled Ask Kon. I'm looking forward to hearing from you. 

Yesterday I received a mail from a friend of mine addressed to Kon. Read below. 


Hello Kon, I understand you're not an igbo guy which makes it easier for you to advise me, I think. My relationship has lasted three years now, although the first year was not so serious. As things became more serious and we became exclusive in the second year, we had "the talk" and there was an understanding that we will get married at some point. That's a great thing because I love him so much and I cannot think of a better husband and baby daddy, he is just the best, not perfect sha. After he officially proposed some weeks ago and we told our families, my family started asking some questions because he's igbo and I'm not. In the course of this we found out that he is an Osu. My main issue with this is that he never told me all along but in his defense he said he didn't because he did not think it will be an issue, especially as I'm not igbo. But to my family this is a big deal breaker. The main gist about Osu from my research is that they're a lineage or family that has been dedicated to a god or shrine or something, and they are outcastes in igbo land. Marrying them is like a taboo.
  My family does not want me so closely associated with an outcaste family, a forbidden family according to my mum, meaning I might become a pariah too. I love this guy so much but my family is against it although I know that if I insist they will not stop me. Pls if you were in my position what will you do?"




Kon: Outcast? Ok tell me the implication of them being outcasts. Is it just a stigma or something happens to them? Do they die prematurely? Do they end up being poor? Do their men have some kind of erectile problems? Do they sacrifice their kids? If there is no real implication and its just a stigma then ignore all the crap and proceed to marry the man you love. But you gotta ask yourself these questions:
1) What are the religious beliefs of this man? Does he have a tendency to go back to shrine worshiping? 
2) What is the family background? Are they really good people with no diabolical powers/beliefs of any sort
3) How much do you love him? This might be the beginning of many other battles so you have to prepare your mind 200% to be in this for better or worse.

Peace.


***
Thoughts?


(Oh, just to answer one of Kon's questions, they are not poor o! It's quite the contrary. "Osus" have been noticed to most often be very wealthy and accomplished. #okbye). 

Thursday, 21 July 2016

All a Man Wants. (The Toke Makinwa-Maje Ayida- Anita Solomon Love Triangle).






"Ladies, ladies, ladies, men dont need love, men dont need good food, men dont even really need good sex, ALL WE NEED IS RESPECT,. When we tell you stay at home and dont go out, or give you instructions we are not being disrespectful we are simply excersicing our god given right as the head of the family to fashion out our future with you. Even International football teams have a head coach who directs the team. We know you have to have a social life, we know you have an opinion but it must be done in moderation. Stay at home and take care of your husband or someone else will. My wife told me she had a training at work for a week and wanted to stay at her aunts house so she could get to work early bcos of lekki traffic, i told her i didnt like the idea but told her i would volunteer to wake up at 4.30am in the morning so i could drive her to work, she did independent woman and still went to her aunts house to stay and when i called her to convey my displeasure she blocked my line. She has been there for 1 and a half weeks, Im now cheating on her with a 25yr old hot girl in our estate and God forbid if she gets pregnant for me i will soo accept it as my 36yr old wife has no kids for me yet. Ladies, Ladies, Ladies its very simple…… DISRESPECT YOUR MAN= GETTING CHEATED ON"



Above comment left by a Dele on Bella Naija on the Anita Solomon post. Remember all that brouhaha, that ruckus that broke the Internet when Toke Makinwa and Maje Ayida's marriage came crashing because she found out that his side chic was pregnant for him? Well the side chic in question is Anita Solomon and she recently celebrated the 1st birthday of her and Maje's little son. 

As you can imagine, almost everyone who likes gist has an opinion on this matter. From what I noticed, most ladies took Toke's side, blaming Anita for getting pregnant for a married man, whether or not they were dating before... The men on the other hand are bashing Toke seriously. According to them she deserves to be dumped, she deserved to be cheated on, she deserves this because she was still forming "Miss Independent", she was still doing MTN everywhere you go and attending every party and social event even though she was married. She was still very flashy, packing 10 packs of human hair on her head, bleaching her skin and fixing fake lashes, while Anita is the gentle simple girl with natural beauty... 
      None of these members of the court of public opinion know any of the parties concerned personally but somehow they all know who was good, who was bad and who deserved what. Oh, very few had anything to say about Maje, the one person who should actually be under heat in this triangle, but #itsamansworld. 

In any case the comment above piqued my interest. Now brother Dele is cheating with an estate girl after asking his wife to please go from home, even offering to go and drop her off as early as 4.30 in the morning. Would you say his present actions are justified? 

Let's talk. 


Just to voice my own opinion of Mr Dele, me thinks Mrs Dele is probably not in her aunt's house. Seems to me like Mrs Dele might have her own little something on the side. And/or she simply doesn't care what happens in her absence. Looks to me like Mrs Dele doesn't really love Mr Dele anymore. 

Which brings me back to what Mr Dele says he and other men want. Dear Men, if a woman loves you, you would neither have to beg nor demand for respect. Respect is a natural byproduct of our love, when we love you, we respect you by default. It is practically impossible for us to love and not respect you. So, be more interested in winning and keeping your woman's affection than in gaining her respect. #misplacedpriorities. 

Of Alex Ekubo & Others. Dear Future...





To Whom it may Concern

Dear Future Wife, I’m writing you this letter, from the deepest part of my Heart, the part that is reserved for Joh-loff Rice & goat meat, so pls feel special. Consider this a pointer or heads-up & act accordingly.

1. You MUST love our Lord Jesus Christ, with all sincerity, in deeds & in purpose.#JesusIsBae 
2. i’m filled with Simple Complexities & Complex Simplicities… #DealOrNoDeal? 
3. I’m NOT here to pay for your Ex’s mistake, i was not there when you both were “doing” so pls don’t punish me. #InnocentMe
 4. I’m a huge kisser, key word HUGE.😘 5. Pls forgive me for all i’ll say when i’m hungry I Love FOOD i really do.😍 6.I love play i don’t take myself too serious, you shouldn’t too (nobody cares) there are more important things going on in the World. 
7. Hope you love to travel, because i am Ajala the Traveler.✈️
8. Pls be beauty with Brains, i take God beg you, because beauty fades, but an intelligent wife is forever.👩🏽 
9. Pls pls pls pls come with factory fitted sense of humor. (Nothing is that serious). 
10. Lastly, you must acknowledge the AlexxEkubo Wives Association Worldwide (A.W.A) they’v been my support structure holding me down all the while you were forming “Baddest girl ever liveth” they were here voting & encouraging my ministry, don’t come & put sand-sand in their garri. 😕

Hope with these few points of mine i’ve been able to convince you & not confuse you. See you at the Altar 💍👫 Sincerely yours,
Best Husband Ever Liveth 👑



***
LOL, we hear you Alex. 

Anyone else want to pen a little something to their past, present or future spouse?

I'll go first. 

Dear future husband,
I hope you like guinea fowl as much as I do. It's my latest discovery, especially when it's roasted or fried and very very spicy. Yum yum yum! The thing is, I need somebody that likes it as much as I do so that when you wake up at 1am and see me chowing down fowl in bed, you will just smile and go back to sleep, or join me (preferably go back to sleep LOL), no questions asked. 

PS; visitors shall be served chicken, goat meat or whatever. Guinea fowl is naturally tiny, ironically expensive and quite scarce, we can not be dishing it away like dat. 

Kizzez. 



Your turn!

Correct 'Aje'.





It's been nearly two weeks and those two words still haunt me. Two Sundays ago I came down to Lagos from Port Harcourt by road, in my friend's car. It must have been eons since I travelled long distance by road in a private car, so there was no way I was going to let those things I see people do pass me by. Before we got to Ugheli I informed my friend that I wanted to buy things, what I wanted to buy, I didn't know. I just knew I wanted to buy things and more importantly, it would cost much less than it does in Lagos. He told me Ore would be the place, he however stopped around Okada in Edo state and as I looked at the roadside lined with bags of garri, buckets of onions, large bunches of plantain, bags with snails, kegs of palm oil and what not, my heart began to thump. I wasn't quite sure we needed any of these at home or at my parents' but I was determined to be one of those who journeyed and returned bearing organic foods in large quantities (nothing in Lagos seems organic when it comes to food). 

I came down from the car and tried to withstand the mob of women who 'rushed' me, promising me the best prices and freshest products. I ignored them and walked from one end to the other, squinting, pausing, thinking and touching  this and that, as if I knew what I was doing. I'd ask the person the price and when she'd call it, I would squeeze my face and go to another seller to price the same thing, and on to the next one, and then another, like I used to see "adults" do. I eventually bought bags of garri, plantains, onions, snails, corn etc and in bulk too. It cost a pretty sum but I found comfort knowing that I'd haggled and made a very good bargain and besides, I spent less than half of what I would in Lagos. Or so I thought.  

All the women I bought items from were very pleasant, strangely so, and they offered to carry the goods to the trunk of the car. After the woman who sold me bunches of plantain dropped them, she began to chat with the one who sold me bags of garri, and the others. They all had this amused look on their faces. 

And then I heard her say "Ha, dis one na correct aje o!"

"I swear!!!" the others responded and they all burst out laughing as they walked away. 

Jesus! 

There I was, feeling on top the world, feeling like the number 1 haggler in Nigeria, feeling like I'd just made my mama proud. Then these women just burst my balloon and brought me crashing down. 

In case you don't know what they meant by Aje, it's aje butter, aka butty, aka (in this circumstance) not street smart, aka olodo. 

Azzinnnn, the way they laughed it was obvious that not only did I not get a good bargain, I didn't get a bargain at all! I probably even dashed them money on top!!!!!

I got into the car feeling hurt, disillusioned and vulnerable, and I was quiet for the first few minutes until I  eventually confided in my friend what had just happened. 

"Oh, is that why you've been quiet? Nahhh, I'm sure they meant aje as in aje butter, like you're posh and all", he said. 

"Tah! You and I both know that's not what they meant."  


LOL. I guess we've all got something we're just horrible at. Mine is haggling, or pricing as well call it in Nigeria. I'm crap at pricing taxis, food items at the markets, clothes a colleague is selling and just about anything else. I find it exhausting and sometimes painful. Please I can't be the only one who's crappy at something others are great at. Now tell me yours. 

Wednesday, 20 July 2016

Ruby Diamond: Plateau (Which Way Nigeria?)




Which way Nigeria?

 

Yesterday, I was returning from the salon and needed to pick some things from my local supermarket when a neighbour said to me. "Aunty, no dey come house late again o! Dey comot for work early". I asked why. He told me about Sunday.

 

There are lots of hotels and clubs around me and apparently, one caters to the Christians and another to Muslims. The Muslims, he said wanted to enter the Christian club(whatever that means because I don't remember when night clubs became religious in nature); and the Christians refused. The Muslims left and returned in minutes with sticks, boots, guns and what have you. They three the first punch and Christians ran. They injured lots of people in the club and chased the fleeing ones. That brought them towards my house which isn't far from the clubs. There was more violence and security agencies moved in afterwards. 

 

Thankfully, no one died!

 

Rumours have it that there may be a reprisal attack.
After that information, I just ran home quick. I cuddled myself and started reading on violence in Plateau. I almost screamed. My adopted younger ones (I live with a family of five who didn't know me from Adam but took me in after serving in Jos south and I didn't leave) had to ask what it was that was bothering me. I just came out of depression and I knew better to stop reading if I didn't want to slip back in.
 
Very chilling was this account I read from https://www.hrw.org/news/2011/01/27/nigeria-new-wave-violence-leaves-200-dead.
 
I just can't help but wonder when we got to this level.
I remember Bridget who lived in Kano.
The bricklayer who was almost killed in Kaduna for not fasting.
The RCCG woman who was killed in Kubwa, Abuja after her morning cry.
I remember the friends I made on my way back to Jos from Mangu who told me about the "merciful killers" they met on their farm. They killed only the men and left women and children so they tagged them "merciful".
I remember the lecture I was given on the start of my NYSC year on areas to avoid.
I remember the blind, one legged and mentally affected soldiers I met and heard of while serving with NAF and I can't but wonder how we got here. 
 
Is it political, religious, social or what?
 
I remember that neighbour saying "If no be say dem vote Lalong as governor, dem for no fight for Plateau again." We are not even comfortable in the hands of Christians so far he isn't our "tribal man."
 
What exactly is the problem? 
 
Today, I just want to live in peace.
I want to shop in Terminus without looking over my shoulder in fear.
I want to tour again (as I once did) the 36 states in Nigeria and feel comfortable.
I'm tired of heavy military checkpoints even in streets.
I want to feel free in Gada biu, Bauchi Road, Faringada, Katakand not just RayfieldAbattoir, Namua.
I just want to live in peace.
 
What then is our problem? Who can answer the question? Political, tribal, social, moral or religious???
 
How did we get here?
 
To my best knowledge,
*GadaBiu, Faringada, Bauchi Road, Katako are 99% Muslim dominated areas. 
*Rayfield, Abattoir, Namua are 99% Christian dominated areas with Rayfield being the safest.
*Terminus is the Lagos of Plateau.



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WED Expo, The Baby Show, African Textile Expo & African Beauty Expo to Hold together in Lagos & Abuja



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WED Expo, The Baby Show, African Textile Expo & African Beauty Expo to Hold together in Lagos & Abuja

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Lagos and Abuja are you ready? Exhibition Guru is one Nigeria’s major exhibition companies with proof of successful exhibitions and for the first time we are bringing together 4 co-located exhibitions to Lagos and Abuja this September. 

From the successes of WED Expo over the years, we are adding African Beauty Expo, The Baby Show and African Textile Expo.

The Power of 4 cannot be less than a MEGA expo. Your Business cannot to miss this.

Coming to your city. Call 08096448289 or 07001111933

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Lagos 
Venue: The Haven Event Center, GRA Ikeja

Abuja
Venue: M and M Event Center, Garki Area 11

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1) The Baby Show
About:
The Baby Show is a landmark event where everything for the bump, the baby and you can be found under one roof. It is an exhibition and conference you do not want to miss as it brings together the best brands and professions for 3 days. Also items related to children of different ages can be transacted at the show.
Who Can Exhibit:
Baby related services, Toys, Maternity service providers, child care centre’s, Children related service/product providers and more!

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2) WED Expo
About:
Nigeria’s Largest Wedding Exhibition is in its 4th year with major successes in making life easier for Brides and Grooms to Be. WED Expo has also assisted several small businesses to boost their brand and get more businesses. WED Expo has also been an avenue to showcase big brands who are also looking into getting the young clientele market.
Who Can Exhibit:
Cake bakers, Wedding Planners, Decorators, Makeup Artists, Photographers, Videographers, Drinks management, DJ’s, MC’s, Accessory Retailers, Hair Stylists, Photo booths and more!

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3) African Beauty Expo
Billed to be Nigeria’s Largest Beauty Exhibition of Origin, The African Beauty Expo cuts across lines in regards to beauty from makeup to beauty, hair, cosmetics and many more. We also dong just focus on women beauty but also men as well and we ensure all our exhibitors get value for what they are getting into as we also bring professionals that educate attendees on different areas.
Who Can Exhibit:
Makeup Brands, Makeup Resellers, Cosmetic Brands, Cosmetic Resellers, Hair Brands, Beauty Retailers, Stylists, Salons, Cosmetic merchants, Importers, Manufacturers and more! 

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4) African Textile Expo
African Textile Expo is going to be the biggest textile expo in Nigeria with a cross section of different types of fabrics that the consumer wants. This is a retail event where lots of sales will go on and the best of the best manufacturers and merchants will showcase their products.
Who Can Exhibit:
Textile manufacturer’s, Textile merchants, Small business fabric stores and more!

Why co-location?
It simply just means more clients for your business and as a guest it means a one stop shop for different items you definitely need.
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Booth Cost: Pay SMALL SMALL Available
Get 30% Off Your Booth (Deposit by July 30th)
Shared Booth – Regularly N60,000 now N42,000
Economy Booth – Regularly N100,000 now N70,000
Standard Booth – Regularly N150,000 now N105,000
Preferred and Premium Booths Kindly Call

Why Exhibit?
- Showcase to thousands of attendees at the expo
- In times like this you want to push your product and services to more people
- Explore and seek new market penetration
- Enhance your brand awareness
- Product activations for sales
- Sell your products or service at the expo

To Book a Booth
Whatsapp/SMS 08096448289
Instagram: @weddaily
For more info kindly visit www.weddaily.com



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Tuesday, 19 July 2016

The Man or His Father?





Do you agree?

If YES,

This means that you also agree that a man who runs his father's billion Naira empire is not entitled to speak in the council of men who own small scale businesses. Right? 

So my people, let's be honest. Men, who would you rather be? Ladies, who would you rather be with? 

Let's remember the current state of the economy ooo. LOL. 

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