I 'wander' about love, life, lifestyle, relationships, current affairs, literature, people, romance, celebrities, your story, my story, the past, the future and everything in between.

Saturday, 24 September 2016

Dear Thelma (My Fiancé Is Losing Interest, What Should I Do?)




Please I've been dating my bf for 5years now. We are planning our wedding against december. I love him and he loves me too but presently i think his love has diminished as he has limited all communications with me to just pleasantries or when he needs to find out something. I've tried to find out where the problem is to no avail. When i complain he's nonchalant and says nothing has changed to him and this is just the new him or that he's just busy. It feels like I am the only one making efforts to communicate. Initially it was quite a bother to me but now I'm getting used to the new way of life though I'm still a bit bothered as this is not what i want in my home. I'm just so confused. I know I'm not alone in this. Anyone experienced this before? How did you handle it? Pray tell. Thelma please can you make this a post. thanks



***

Hunny I think it's only your fiancé that can tell you what's on his mind. But whatever it is, please find out before December. They say a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage, and they're right...

She asked if anyone else has been in her shoes? Please what would you advise?  

About Last Night. (The Insatiable Nature Of Men).





Last night was date night and we wanted to do something different. I have a soft spot for Thistle bar, or maybe just a soft spot for their food. Either way I picked that out as the starting point for the night. Friday nights at Thistle bar are always vibrant, very electric. The lifeband easily outdoes even the most qualified DJs, everyone seems happy and lets their guards down. The athmosphere is serene and the people are usually laid back and down to earth. 

While looking around at the happy people, one particular couple caught my eyes. They were just one among the unusually numerous married couples that came out last night. These ones got my attention because the man is obviously much older, somewhere between mid to late 40s. While his wife, that pretty young thing, should be about 25. She looked like the perfect trophy wife, tall but not too tall, slender yet curvy, pretty face and an authentic member of #teamlightskin. I just imagined what it must feel like to be an older man and wake up to such gloriousness every morning. I was busy imagining things when something, or someone caught my eyes. 

Le husband. 

I was sure I wasn't seeing right. Why was he smiling at me? I looked away and looked back and this time he winked. Hmmmm. A few minutes later I went to use the loo and when I came out he was standing right there at the door, hand outstretched offering me his phone to hurriedly punch in my number. I quickly scurried away. 

It makes you wonder, doesn't it? Why the eyes of a man who's literally married to physical perfection would wander. 

A while back I happened to hangout with my brother in law and his friends. It was quite a naughty conversation they were having but they all seem to think I'm "cool like that" so they didn't mind having it in my presence. One was telling them how everytime he's about to travel his wife would exhaust herself in the sack. He said she would suck him like she's trying to suck his soul out and scatter him in bed. He then laughed at her naïveté and said he wondered who taught her that one; that when your husband is travelling shag him very well so that when he leaves he will be way too satisfied to go awondering. Then he said "doesn't she know that even if she f*cks me from morning till night and I step outside to drink water, if I see one fine girl with big ass my d*ck will still stand?". They all burst out in laughter and continued to share tales. (I find this kind of talk very distasteful, especially when it involves one's wife). 

Similarly a former colleague would often brag about how he could never pressure a girl for sex. He said he would shag only if she also wanted it. He said "Why will I beg a girl for sex when I can just go home and shag my wife? Any day, any time, anyhow I like it, she gives it to me!"  Which begs the question; So why do you still have extra marital sex? I mean, you just said your wife is always willing, ready and able. So WHY? 

I asked. He thought long and hard and eventually sighed; I don't know. 

Which brings us once again to the conclusion that the reason most men cheat is simply because they can. Nothing else!

It's quite disconcerting to watch. You're an orobo trying to lose weight but he tells you "no honey, you're beautiful just the way you are. I like you like this", then you go out and he's ogling every slim girl that walks pass. You're thinking you're a sexy lekpa and the best thing since Grand Square sliced bread, but you catch him cheating on you with a full option Orobo! You study the karma sutra like its the holy grail and you shag him until his legs give way but next minute he's panting after some other girl like a dog in heat. 

So I just dunno people! I guess a girl's just going to have to do her best and leave the rest to God. Apparently trying to satisfy a man is like trying to fill a basket with water. 

Or am I wrong?

Thursday, 22 September 2016

Dear Thelma (...When Your Man's Friends are a Negative Influence and a Threat To Your Happiness)





Tee I remember one post you did long long time ago about when the "other woman" is a man, something like when the threat to your marriage is not another woman/mistress but your husband's friend/s. I am in that situation although we are not married yet. Bae is a fantastic man, nice and loving and faithful to me, never given me a reason to suspect him of cheating. He is not in any way perfect but the main challenge I face with him these days is his friends, mind you these guys are all married. 

Have you noticed that the married men are the more notorious ones? It sounds strange but it is so true, I have seen a lot, both from my fiancé's friends and from my colleagues, in laws and friends. Married men are the ones more likely to have one night stand with young girls almost everyday or the week, they and their friends swap girls as if it's tomtom, some even go as far as having orgies where they and their friends freely f*ck these girls at the same time. These days married men woo women way better than single men, they will be married but be chasing a girl as if his life depends on it. They will even deny their wives and children just for one round of sex with one small girl outside. What is worst is that married men are less likely to use condoms when cheating than single men, I don't know why but that is just the case. 

Anyway back to my issue. Yesterday for instance they had a hangout, when his friends called him to tell him where they are meeting up bae said "ok we are coming". His friend now asked him we who? He said me and my woman nau. That is how is friends started to laugh at him and mock him. And they do that a lot, they try to make him feel stupid for including me in things and taking me out with him on their hangouts. The funny thing is that am an introvert and don't like going out, but he always wants me to follow him. One day we all went on boat cruise party, one of them actually said in front of me "why did you bring your girlfriend here, that is like taking sand to the beach". 

I am just tired of these people. They try to make him feel stupid for treating me well, they try to make him feel weak for being faithful to me, sometimes they tease him that he should not worry, when we get married his eyes will clear and he will be more like them. 

Sometimes am tempted to tell him to choose between them and me but I cannot try that becasue these are his childhood friends and I don't want to put him in that position. But please what can I do, I have tried to see if he can get another job outside lagos so that we can relocate but his job here is very good with a very fat salary. 

Please what can I do? Do I tell him to reduce his communication with them or should I just ignore them and hope for the best? And please why are men like this. Why do they feel threatened and bitter when they see their friend being faithful and good to a woman? Why? Why do some men like to force their friends to cheat and emasculate them when they don't want to? Why? Why can't they just leave a good man to be a good man?

Please help a sister out. 

Wednesday, 21 September 2016

Random Musings; Sleeping With a "Cuddler" When You're Not.





Its one aspect of romantic relationships I find very complicated. What happens when you're not a cuddler ie you do not like to cuddle; you like your own space on the bed, you freak out at the thought of someone's breath on your skin and you're uncomfortable breathing on someone else's. You get sweaty just thinking about your movements being restricted and when you're both in bed you can't stop overthinking things; is he really ok with my head on his arm or is he just acting in order to be polite? How long until his arm begins to ache? What if he wants to turn but can't because my head is on his chest? What if i want to turn over but i can't because he's holding me tight? And yes when you eventually need to turn, you wait until he's deep in sleep and then you try to gently move away from him or remove his loving arm from your now stiff torso. And then he stirs and holds you tighter, and closer. Sigh!

Sometimes I just pretend to be deep asleep and unaware of my actions and i carelessly toss his arm away and immediately roll far away. But sometimes i'm more tender, more emotional. And i resign myself to the fate of the night and his loving arms. 


Sigh...



Was just thinking about it. Who else absolutely hates to cuddle, just like me? And where are all you cuddle bunnies? Pls enlighhten me, what exactly do you like about cuddling? Eeew! LOL



Her Wedding Day!





I thought I'd share this story from a slightly older sis of mine. I asked her randomly what the most underwhelming feeling she had ever experienced was and I was not expecting her response. She said "my wedding day and night." I burst out laughing and asked her to explain! Here is her brief synopsis. #Enjoy 😄

 "I did all the work myself, I took on a major part of the planning to save costs. Major mistake! From the food menu, cakes, the flowers, decor etc… I was fire fighting with vendors and his family over how many guests they could bring even though none of the family members "making noise" contributed a dime. I had to beg and plead and apologise to a million people I didn't offend. By the time the day came, I ended up not having enough time to get my own self ready things were so rushed and we ran super late. I ended up having to just throw my hair up quickly, throw on the ugly wedding dress that my fiancé chose because he didn’t like the dress I wanted. I didn't like my hair, make up or dress so I was pretty much over the day before it even started. He was a complete nightmare when it came to decisions and just seemed unbothered about the details that I guess at the time mattered to me. 
During the reception my now ex-husband got drunk, I was sober, exhausted and suffered major claustrophobia from having 1000 guests I didn't care for. The picture taking and ceremony in general was exhausting. He insisted on staying until the very last guest had left, getting drunker and drunker with the last few drunks who lingered, ignoring my requests to leave.

When we finally got back to the hotel he actually thought I was going to have sex with him. After I declined, he turned on DSTV before he passed out. 
It was our marriage in a nutshell, but of course I wasn’t enlightened enough to see it at the time. So for me, wedding, marriage, extremely underwhelming." It's so interesting how most people I know didn't enjoy their #wedding. These wedding hashtags and photos on insta be telling me otherwise though. Everything always looks "Lit"



***

Culled from @conniegirlswag Instagram. 

Reading this made me wonder yet again about the things that actually happen beyond the beautifully glazed wedding pictures. The challenges, the disappointments, the fights as a result of differences, the surprises and the tears or laughter. 

Tell us your wedding story. Was it the beautiful dream you'd always had or did things go awry? Was it overwhelming, or did it end up being underwhelming?

For the singles, what kind of wedding do you hope to have?

Me? For my trad I dream of bride price being given and received in my absence. Shey that's the general idea behind igbo traditional marriages?

For the church wedding, no church. Get a minister to come and bless us etc etc etc. 100 guests of less. We dance, they eat. Everybody goes home. We go and start our life. Shikena. 

Boring I know, but something about weddings and wedding frenzy make me panic. 

Now what about you?

0ctober 1st Blog Hangout. Are You In?





Good morning 😊😊😊

I want to ask if you can organize a blog hangout for the 1st of October

We must all come in Green and White 😂
I kid... It's a Saturday and the Monday after is a public holiday 😊😊😊

We could have a picnic somewhere nice or go on a boat cruise 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽 errrr I have no idea how much that costs but if it's affordable... Yes!!! 💃🏽

Just think about it please 😍😍😍😘😘😘



***


Okayyyy, I don't want to think about it 🙈 but it's good to give the people what they want, right? So guys, what do you think? You know me I like to be honest with you. I'm not in the perfect headspace to plan a hangout right now so if we are doing this then the planning is going to be on all of us. The entertainment and refreshments is going to be on all of us. The ideas are going to be on all of us. WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER IF we decide to have an October 1st blog hangout. 

So first we're going to vote. 

Vote YAY or NAY for a blog hangout on the 1st of October. 

If you're voting Yay please do so with the intention of attending should we eventually have one. The last one we had, so many people who pushed for it didn't show up. 

Also give us ideas for a hangout. Places that we can go to as a group and have a fun time. Picnic sounds like a good idea. The one place that comes to mind for a picnic is the beach or a Resort. If you have any ideas please share. 


So my TTB Fam, should we have a blog hangout on the 1st of October? 

Monday, 19 September 2016

Dear Thelma. (She Has Zero Maternal Instincts. Is This a Red Flag?)




I know many females are here and your opinions will be worth it. I know the woman I'm about to marry for we were friends long before we started dating. She is beautiful, nice, domesticated, a good christian and very hardworking. However she lacks a certain warmth most women have, I really don't care about that as her good sides are many, except that she does not seem to have any nurturing or maternal instincts at all. My gf will rather work on Saturday and Sunday than stay at home to look after her sis' kids. She is generally uncomfortable around children and you can never see her get emotional over babies as most ladies do. When her friends get pregnant instead of congratulating or admiring them it's like she feels pity for them. Last year she got pregnant and although I tried to give her every reason to keep it, she went ahead and aborted it even though we were already planing to get married. Her excuse was that she cannot have a child outside wedlock. Some people say she will change when she has her own children but I doubt it, once when I complained about what will happen when we marry she said she doesn't mind if I want to stay at home and take care of the children, while she goes to work and makes money. God forbid for me to do that, but you get the picture now, right? She has said she wants us to wait for two or three years after the wedding to start having babies. I am not happy about this at all. Please do you think this should be a deal breaker? I love her so much and want to marry her, but I also want children too and I need their mother to show them plenty love. I wonder how other men will handle this situation. 


Ps. To the best of my knowledge she did not suffer any trauma as a child, she just always says that's how God made her and being a woman does not equate to being maternal. Please advise me.

#BlogReaderAsks. (Will I Love Him Forever?)




My first love got married this weekend and my heart is broken. I haven't felt this kind of pain since we went our separate ways 5 years ago, my chest hurts from the pain and I have no idea what to do.


This relationship was the best I ever had, I loved him with everything I had, it was my first real relationship yet he didn't exactly ask me to be his girlfriend, we just kinda talked and talked until we were so close it was more like a relationship. He became my best friend in the whole world, my confidant, adviser, mentor, etc. I still don't know why it ended but it did and he moved on with a girl who was his "friend" just 3 weeks later. That alone tore my heart to shreds and I was unable to do anything with myself for almost a month. I remember that time like it was yesterday, I just went thru the motions daily - wake up, do my chores, go to work, work till very late, come home, and sleep, everyday for almost one month. I lost weight, life lost its meaning and everything around me was just gloomy. I deleted his numbers from my phone, deleted our texts, unfollowed him on facebook but kept him on twitter.


For a very long time, we didn't communicate, I moved on with life and started building my career. I honestly thought I was over him but if I would finally admit and be true to myself, I have thought about him, EVERYDAY for the past 5 years. I can just walk by a place that reminds me of him, infact, I worked somewhere for 2 years where one of my colleagues looked exactly like him, (that colleague became my favourite person in that organisation), I would hear someone say something and it would remind me of a conversation we had or how he talks.


Every once in a while, he messages me on whatsapp to say hello, I'm usually cool and respond to all the questions with monosyllabic answers so as not to drag it out cos I sorta knew he was still unavailable. Some weeks ago tho, he messaged me again and I didn't respond in the usual way, I decided to have an actual conversation and we started chatting every night. We'd chat even at work and then after work till way past midnight then one of those days, he told me he was getting married to the same girl, the friend from that time, and I realized that although I had told myself something different, I was still holding out hope that we would get together again. I told him the next morning that I couldn't chat with him everyday anymore and that I had to move forward and stop looking back. He apologised and that was the end. That was two weeks ago.


I saw the wedding picture on facebook today and the pain in my heart right now confirms my fear all along, I haven't stopped loving this guy. Even though I have had other relationships since we parted ways 5 years ago, I have not come close to loving anyone as much as I loved him.


I currently have the best boyfriend in the entire world, he loves me and would do literally anything to make me happy but I don't love him as much as I know I can. I know how my heart sings when I'm in love but my heart doesn't sing for my boyfriend, talking to him feels more like a chore these days, I'd rather read a book. We've been on and off for 2 years now and I know he loves me but I just can't, it's like something in me is broken and I can't fix it. Yet, I don't want to break up with him cos who would stay with me with all my craziness? Who would see all of me with my big flaws and many many short comings and still choose to stay with me. I don't want to be an old maid. My plan was to be married at 26, I'm 26 already but I'm not in love.


I need to stop loving this guy so I can move on with my life and love other people, I have tried everything, hating him, anger, the silent treatment, nothing has worked. And trust me, I hate women like myself who have a good man and yet are stuck on some ass hole somewhere who doesn't give a rat's ass about them but I can't seem to move forward.


I desperately want to love again. I want to see my boyfriend's call and be excited and smile from the bottom of my heart with genuine happiness. I want to love and be loved but I just can't bring myself to love anyone again with such reckless abandon. I don't know if it's fear or I've just exhausted all the love I have in me to give anyone. These days, my work consumes me, I work everyday of the week whether I have to or not just so I can fill this emptiness inside. I don't want to sit at home on weekends and just mope, I don't have any friends either.


The funny thing is, I always thought only people in sexual relationships were stuck on their exes like me but this guy and I only kissed once and that once doesn't even qualify cos it was really awkward and I was nervous as hell the whole time.


Guys, I honestly need help. Will I love this guy forever? Or will I get over him one day, it's been 5 years and I'm still heart broken. Will I ever love someone as much as I loved this guy? Or have I just not found the right guy to love?


Your honest advice will be appreciated.


Julian's Soft Launch. You're All Invited!




Hey guys! What are you doing this independence weekend (October 2nd)? Julian's is having a soft launch/pop up store for their couture and ready to wear pieces with prices from N7,000 only (in small, medium, large and extra large). 

There will be loads of finger foods and mimosas waiting just for you! Lots Of freebies too 😉. 

Bring a friend along and get 10% off on your purchases. 

Venue -BLD by Play beside KFC, Admiralty Way. Lekki phase 1. 
Time - 1pm 

For more details pls call.. 08175966321


Thursday, 15 September 2016

Ladies! Do You Want To Be Woken Up With an Orgasm?







Ladies, so what do you think about an alarm clock designed to wake you up with a mind blowing orgasm or orgasmSSS? 😅😂😆💦🙈


The Little Rooster alarm clock, a small plastic miracle, combines an alarm clock with a vibrator so you can be woken up with an orgasm. The alarm clock is worn inside your panties and placed strategically *cough cough*. And then when the clock strikes the time you set your alarm, instead of making the conventional shrill annoying noise that wakes you up with a scowl on your face á la bedside/phone alarm clocks, the Little Rooster simply starts to vibrate to bring you out of your slumber. The vibrations automatically increase until you wake up and turn it off. 

What a superb way to wake up, eh? 😊😊😊

So ladies tell me, would you want one of these? 

Come let's talk.


Personally, no I won't want (nor need) one, but I think this is a GREAT invention, so many women cannot cum through sex or are generally unable to achieve orgasms. I often have a number of female blog readers asking me why they can't orgasm during sex, and some really curious ones desperately want to know what it feels like to orgasm. 

I'm not sure my powers of description are strong enough, so does anyone want to help a sister know what having an orgasm feels like?

Meanwhile ladies, would you like to own a Little Rooster? 





What I Wanted To Be...





Last week I made a new friend. Well I happen to be 'seeing' her brother so we knew of each other but we'd never met or spoken. She was coming into town for an interview and her brother asked me to sort out her logistics and possibly keep her company. I paid her a visit at her hotel room, just so I could tell him yes when he asked if I went to see his sister, like I knew he would. I did that to fulfil all righteousness but I ended up falling in friendship!

Have you ever met someone and instantly hit it off? Oh wow! We met for the first time and what I'd planned to be a ten-minute visit lasted until the next day, yeah I spent the night LOL. Same thing the next day, after her interview we went out on a girly date, did some shopping and the back to the hotel room for some gossip, girl chat and a slumber party. 

During this time she asked "Why aren't you in Nollywood?".

Very weird question, right? But I started laughing because you see, I'd wanted to be an actress!

Like, I didn't just "want to", I actually made moves towards being one. I chased scripts but met roadblocks in form of men first wanting to me warm their beds, something I was averse to. And then I applied for Amstel Malta Box Office, went for auditions, got to the final stage and then didn't get called back. But two of the judges on my panel kept in touch and made promises to help me get ahead in the industry even without AMBO, something about it didn't sound savory at the time so I didn't pursue that lead, besides law was getting tougher and I had to focus on passing my papers. 

Yes, Law. The course my father filled in my JAMB form giving me no say whatsoever in the matter that's my own life. 

So in the last few days I've been thinking about it, the things I really wanted to be, the things I'm naturally great at. Acting would have been my first choice. I also love performing too, I still remember my days of miming Keith Sweat's Twisted on stage in FGGC Ipetumodu before QC, and days of stage plays, both there and in OQ. I'm naturally shy but Lord do I love an audience. I could never suffer stage fright, be it an audience of 10 or 10,000. Another thing I really wanted to do, even though that wouldn't have come naturally was to produce music. 


Do I have regrets? Not really. I mean on some days I wonder what life would be like if I'd actually towed that path, where would I be now? What would I have? WHO would I be? 

On other days I smile, life is okay anyways. 

So let's talk about it people, what did you want to be when you were younger, is that what you're doing now? Do you feel like you'd be better off in another career? Why aren't you doing what you wanted to do; your parents or other factors? 

What did you want to be when you grow up? Is that what you are now?

Tell us. 

Wednesday, 14 September 2016

I Feel So Guilty After Sex, BUT I Just Can't Stop Needing It!




(Speaking of #Change) I need change too. I am a very matured adult. How do I change from always needing sex. I have fasted. prayed. belonged to different departments in church to keep my mind and soul busy and distracted from this sex of a thing. The more I try, the more my mind and emotions get trapped. What do I do? I honestly need this change. Each time I do it, I go into depression. For months. I will not come out of the guilt. I need change. What do I do? anonymous mood activated


***


The above was left as a comment earlier today and I thought to make it a post so that it can get the desired responses. 


Dear Thelma... (Is It Ok To Date My Sister's Ex?)




Please I need your advise. When my sister was in college she was in a very serious relationship for the four years although we never met him because they schooled abroad. They broke up right after college and she went on to do her masters and then moved back to nigeria. Her ex stayed back in England and they somehow lost touch. That was a long time ago and my sis is now married with three kids. In 2013 her ex added me in facebook and it was just to say hello to his former girlfriends babysis and for over a year it was just hi and hello on facebook. In 2014 I was going through a bad time and I posted a quote on FB, he reached out to me asking if I'm okay and I decided to confide in him as a big brother figure, that is how we went from hello-hi to more regular chats. Soon after that we began to talk on the phone and we started getting close, I told my sis that I met her ex on fb and we chat once in a while and she was indifferent sha. 
     At the beginning of 2015 he moved back to lagos and we went to the movies the first time we met. We were just platonic friends but I was already falling for him, but I didn't tell him. I thought he was still seeing me as a baby sister but we started getting closer and one thing led to another and we had sex. I had someone else asking me out then but I didn't like him so much and all I could think about was Jay (my sis ex). I started to avoid him after we had sex because I felt guilty and besides I did not want to be a f**k buddy to him as he hadn't asked me out yet. But around august 2015 he asked if I could meet him somewhere in vi, it turned out to be a boat cruise with his boss and some colleagues and he asked me out. Honestly that was the happiest day of 2015 for me because I was falling in love with him and I had not been able to stop thinking about the time we had sex because it was so so good. I said yes but we have to be careful because we don't know how my sister will react. We have been dating ever since and my family knows I'm dating someone but I'm scared to tell them who it is. Also I have met his family and they seem to like me so I know that things are getting serious. I love this man so much and I wil be very happy if we get married. I'm turning 30 in December and I am more than due to settle down. He is 37 and ready for marriage too. That's why I feel that I have to tell my sister now. 

My fear is that she has never forgotten him, he disvirgined her, also they dated all through college and she was in love with him. Please what advise can you give me? If you were my sister will you give us your blessing? Thanks ttb blog visitors, you all rock. Pls tell me what to do, i have only one sibling and I love her dearly, we have always been close even though she's six yrs older, and I don't want anything to spoil our relationship. 

Thelma pls post this. 

#ChangeBeginsWithMe. Reno Omokri Couldn't Have Said It Better!




Change has a new definition and this is it! I think the most devastating, heartbreaking and disappointing thing, among the devastating, heartbreaking and disappointing things that have happened in the last one year and five months is #ChangeBeginsWithMe

This is a blinding slap on the faces of the people, a bloated tongue dripping with saliva sticking itself out in the faces of Nigerians, a blatantly nonchalant act of disregard for the same people who voted that office in, an indifferent shrug of shoulders at the people's disappointment and misery...

Absurd and farfetched, but some say suicide rate has never been this high in Nigeria as it has been in the past months, and attribute it to the present government. Gradually this ideation is beginning to gain credibility. 

#Change.

Tuesday, 13 September 2016

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND





He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself). 
So oneday I decided to take it to another level..

After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.

Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.

We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!

See how you are serious dey read this story....!

My dear

I wish you can learn how to read your Bible like dis.

I bet you, God will like it and be happy. hehehe If it were a biblical
message, you'd have skipped. 

Abstain from sexual  immorality it will
lead you to more recession in this Bukari era ..hehehe.
 Only
sharp minds will grab....



Abi Aunty thelma,uncle kon,memphis,uyi,kene,Sasha
bone,Chrisyinks,chinenyenwa,kabuoy,sunshine,Dinma,Dominique. clare,
John, unknown. all the anonymous and other BV's ..... I lie ???

Monday, 12 September 2016

Faulty Foundations & The Flighty





When I saw this on Instagram yesterday morning I was speechless. I still am... I dunno guys, please share your thoughts. 

Are his village people dancing shoki with his destiny or is this the act of a forthright young man? Read below. 


"Just as a house that was built on a faulty foundation will surely collapse, it is also certain that a career that is built on a faulty foundation will definitely collapse. All through my secondary school days, I was just a church ‘goer’, without genuine salvation and the fear of God. As a result, I got my WASSCE result through examination malpractice.

By the grace of God, now, I have encountered the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ, which called for repentance and restitution.

Sir, with deep conviction, I have  realised that there is no point building my academic career on a faulty foundation; since the WASSCE result I got through malpractice is the basis in which my admission into this university was anchored.

Therefore, I have decided to withdraw from the university and start all over again."


Losing Faith in Humanity.








There are different kinds of evil in this world, the worst and most dangerous kind of evil is evil that thinks it is good. 

This spawn of satan who left this comment ended by asking someone to draw closer to God and see the light... Ironic, isn't it?

Quite frankly I'm not sure if there's a point to this post. I just wanted to appeal to us all not to be like whomever this commenter is. Not everyone will be our cup of tea. Not everyone will make sense to us. Hell, someone might even make us angry just at the sound of their voice! 

But let's make room for acceptance, and where acceptance is too much to ask for, then let's give tolerance a try. 


And yes, I do love Chified; igbo accent, masculine body and all. I admire the woman that she is! 

Ok bye!

Blog Reader Cries Out: Help, My Father Is Selling Off Everything To "Sow Seed"!





I'm sorry but I just need a place to rant. My father has an addiction and a strange one at that. Things have not been going smoothly in his life for some years, he lost his job, lost his businesses, all his friends ran away and the last time he paid our school fees was when I was in js1. Ever since my mother took over everything and has been the breadwinner till now. Now we are all graduates and we are doing ok even though things can be better. My parents are still married and they are ok but my father has not made a single kobo ever since all those years. He is a good husband and a good father and we all love him dearly because when he had money he did not spare a dime to make us comfortable. The issue started when he started meeting pastors telling him that there are people after his life. We are Anglicans but when my father started listening to all these pastors he left the Anglican Church for mountain on fire. That where things started getting worse with him. Before then he was still trying to hustle for contracts and business or another job but ever since my father joined mfm in 1999 he has never tried to pursue any job or contract. They told him that his mother is a witch and that there are people in his family trying to finish him, they told him that they have tied his hands and legs and he will never make it in life again. Tha is how my father started constant prayer and fasting and midnight prayers. He was in MFM for one year then moved on to other churches. It has been about 20 years now and my father is still going from church to church, prophet to prophet, mountain to mountain. We usually just allow him to do what it wants as long as it makes him happy but the issue is that most of these people are scammers.
      Last year my elder brother sent him 300,000 to use for some repairs in our village house. The very next day my father went for a service where they were asked to sow seed of 250k if they want their prayer to be answered. My father immediately gave them 250 and sent the balance to a female pastor in Osun state who said she saw some vision about my brother and I so she needs to pray for us. Unknown to us every money that we give him for personal upkeep or to tidy some things in the house, this man takes to give one pastor or the other. The last rent that we gave him for their house rent disappeared as he said that he was feeling sick and smelling corpses in his room so he called some of his pastors in different churches and he had to send all of them money to pray for him. This is someone that at over 60 years still fasts every week, does midnight prayers every night, prays for at least one hour when he wakes up in the morning and does not miss church service and vigil. Yet he is still paying people hundreds of thousands to pray for him and his family. We have tried all that we can and we all stopped giving him any money, giving our Mum instead. 
     Now my father has taken to selling his things, electronics in the house and even some of my mum's things just to sow seed or give one prophet or the other to pray for him. These people immediately sense his fear n desperation and take advantage of him terribly. At this point my siblings and I don't know what to do, if we talk he will tell us that he is doing all this for us. Please has anyone else had a similar experience? I need all the advise I can get. Thank you. 

Happy Eid El Kabir!




Happy Eid-el-Kabir to all our muslim blog readers. May this Eid bring you blessings, peace, joy and love. 

Happy holidays all!

Friday, 9 September 2016

Dear Thelma (The Minute We Transitioned From Friends To Lovers, Things Became Weird).




Dear TTB Readers….. (My close friend and I like each other but it’s kinda weird transitioning to lovers…)

 I am 24 year old who recently obtained a Bachelor’s degree and already studying for a Master’s degree which means I will be abroad for at least the next 2 years.

Mr B is 26 years, we have been friends for over 7 years and it never occurred to me he liked me although he always jokingly gave hints but I just never thought about it.  He is my godmother’s nephew and I met him at her place so he is like family to me. I eventually traveled abroad for studies around the same time he graduated from Uni. 

Over the years, he has been the one who criticizes my cover letters, resume, biography, speech and every application I submitted for a job position. I always sort his opinion and he even helped build my LinkedIn profile and gave me tips on how to network properly. 

Over the years, we have been there for each other, supported each other during tough times, exams and even dated different people. Somehow, we were comfortable confiding in each other during breakups and to be honest I saw him more like a brother simply because I never took the hints to heart.

3 days ago, I randomly called him and somehow we talked about balancing family and career. We are both very focused on building awesome careers and at the same time wouldn’t want to sacrifice family time in the process. 

don’t know how it happened but after that conversation I felt immense peace. I couldn’t sleep well that night and I took time to go through all our conversations. I noticed some of our chats where he gave some hints but I never took it serious.  I decided I was going to ask him if he meant them considering we were both very single at the moment.

We talked last night and to my surprise, he said he really likes me but was too scared to open up for fear things would go south because of the distance. I chuckled and felt butterflies at that moment and told him everything changed the night we had that conversation. I also told him he doesn’t have to worry that we both can make it work if we want to. We jokingly imagined how my godmother and her family would feel if we announced we were a couple. We concluded on keeping things hush and also discussed our expectations. We made some promises, decided to transition slowly and apologized in advance for the days things will go south.  

After that conversation, I barely slept and everything felt weird. I couldn’t bring myself to text him this morning and he hasn’t buzzed me either. It feels really weird transitioning from being friends to being a couple. It feels awkward imagining our first kiss, sex and everything in between.


What would you guys do if you were in my shoes…


****

Guys first off I'd like to "brag" a little about the poster. For privacy sake let's call her Miss O. As Miss O said, she just graduated and is about to begin her Masters. What Miss O did not tell you guys is that she studied/is studying in an Eastern European country where she bagged a First Class and she also gave the Thank You speech at her graduation ceremony.  

What's even more impressive is that she's in a field that's male dominated. Not Engineering, no, wayyy more technical. A field where women are somewhat like unicorns. Her Masters is only one of the early stages of her academic career. Although she's younger than I am, I admire her so much. We talk from time to time and it's very clear that she has her head screwed on right, she intends to be great and she's taking very great steps to attain that goal. Kudos Miss O!


Now to the post at hand

It seems you both overthought and over analyzed things too early. All that talk about expectations, making promises and plans on how to handle things on the hard days is probably what made things feel weightier than they ought to be. Y'all said you'd start slow yet you started out too serious. You see, once you'd both defined it, things should have started out light and fluffy and fun and you'd both make your rules along the way. You're talking about dating, not a marriage! So in the future do try to keep things light, and then if/when things begin to get serious, you can start to have those conversations. 

The only advise I have is TALK. 

Do not allow this silence and awkwardness fester. If he hasn't called, don't be afraid to call him and ask him why the silence. Also TELL him how you felt, tell him you started feeling some type of way. This would also encourage him to open up and relax too. Allow him talk and LISTEN to both what he's saying and what he's not saying. Once you both talk, you'd figure out how you want to handle things going forward. Do you think it's better to remain friends? Then chuckle it off and  go back to being the awesome friends that you were. Do you think you'd still like to be a couple? Then go ahead and give the relationship a shot. 

So in my humble opinion, the first thing you have to do is have a CONVERSATION. I understand that at your age this type of conversation may be challenging or uncomfortable, but it shouldn't be so hard. Don't overthink it, don't make it too serious. Remember that you've always been friends and have always been able to talk deeply with each other. So now do just that, TALK. 

If you do not talk now, things are going to go downhill, both your budding relationship and your existing precious friendship. If you're both silent now, that friendship is going to melt into oblivion and in a few years you'd find yourself wondering what could have been, if only you'd both been able to just talk about it. 

So talk. And if that's too hard, then have a chat. Just make sure your thoughts and feelings are adequately conveyed. 

Goodluck hun.

People, what would you do in her shoes. Please help! 


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