Skip to main content

Posts

Do Me a Favour Please.

Hey people.
I've got several complaint via whatsapp, phone calls and instagram from my readers saying that they can not open the blog. This has gone on for a couple of weeks. It's making me very reluctant to put up posts because I'm not sure if anyone even gets to see it. 
So please, if you can open the blog and read this post, drop a comment please (just say yes or whatever). I need to have an idea of what I'm working with. The tech people are trying to fix this in the meantime, so until they're able to sort this out...
Oh, meanwhile thats a picture of me, Yoko and Comfort Sakoma at Latasha Ngwube's, before we left for THE SHOW STOPPER by Eventecture X Atlantis at the Lagos Jet Ski Club, where we took the other pictures. It was amazing, a glimpse into the future of luxury events in Nigeria. 

Ps; if you sent me blog posts, I haven't posted it yet because I want to first make sure that people are able to open the blog. 
Please don't forget to leave a comment.…
Recent posts

Panic.

His footsteps were gentle. I didn't really hear them, I felt them. You wouldn't have heard them either. The sound of the beating of my heat would not let you. As he came closer I felt like I would implode at any second. I lay hidden underneath my bed. My forehead was cold and sweaty. My palms, wet and clammy. My mouth, dry and parched. The door handle turned slowly. I didn't see it, I felt it. In a second he was in my room. Underneath the bed my tiny body shook like a leaf in the wind. He wouldn't see me, he never did. He always felt me. It happened all too often yet it always felt like the first time. Always. His large fist wrapped itself round my tiny ankles, or was it my heart? He unceremoniously dragged me out from underneath the bed. His bloodshot eyes blazing fire, his nostrils flaring. As though to say, you already know the drill, why bother?

My screams were piercing even to my own ears as my father dragged me out from the room. My legs scratching against the woo…

SOUL MATES......A CRUEL JOKE by Anonymous.

Reading this post put my heart in knots and twists, because it used to be my greatest fear, and I'm so certain that many can relate. Please read below:


I used to have serious beef in my heart for couples that say, I married my soul mate. I never believed in soul mates, I just thought it was too much love worrying people, until i met the YING to my YANG and i missed him by a hairs breath and got married to another person.I have a wonderful marriage, we may not have hot passion, but we love each other like comfortable old PJ's and we protect each other. People think my marriage is perfect, but the truth is, i sometimes wonder what could have been.Stay with me people, this gist is loaded.I was called to Bar in November 2009, My mum took me out the Sunday after , for a celebratory lunch. I was already engaged. Marriage is in January 2010.This guy comes in and smiles at us, we smile back. He is nice looking and looks like a tall glass of coke. He sees us leaving, he rushes out, like…

To Shoot My Shot or Not? (Thelma Is In Love!)

So we met and finally got talking, well just this one day when we chatted and chatted for hours and it was the most delightful thing ever, I swear it's been long since I felt this way about anyone. Something like a crush but deeper, you know that feeling when you guys talk for the first time and you totally vibe 🙈😍💑. The conversation is fire 🔥, the gist just floooooooooooooows. Like, you throw punchlines at him and he throws it right back at you with a double knockout and you guys chat like you've known each other forever. So that night it got really late and we had to go to bed but next day came and I couldn't wait to hear from him. 
I've been here before but it's been so long; you know, that feeling of always looking down at your phone, checking if it's them calling, you get a message and you jump because you're hoping they're the one, and when you see it's not them your heart sinks to your belly.
You see, we'd promised we would chat yesterd…

But I Live On The Island

Last night a small group of friends had a birthday party at the bar. This guy kept coming to the counter where I was working, to ask redundant questions. The fourth time he came he finally decided to go for it. Our conversation went like this:
"Can I have your number so that I can call you later?"
"I'm sorry... Nope!"
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to" 
"But I live on the island" he said this with his shoulders raised so high, nearly touching his ears  
I stared at him to know if he was sh*tting me. He wasn't. 
"I live on the island" he said again, just in case I didn't hear it the first time
"Okay... Can't give you my number though"
"Why? I live on the island", his shoulders had drooped a little 
"Okay..."
"So can I have your business card?" 
"If I can't give you my number why would I give you my business card?"
"But I live on the island" he was whining thi…

Mr Lazy

The Lazy man says "I can't go to work, there's a Lion on my path, he won't let me pass". He ignores the fact that there are many paths to his destination

Hello Mr. Lazy. I see you calculating millions in your head, but you have refused to work for a thousand. "That job is beneath me" you say. Yet you wallow in poverty, waiting for a big break, asking friends and family for money. See a beggar on the streets? The difference between you and him, is your fancy cloth

The lazy man laughs at the hard worker at the beginning, then envy him when he is successful. "Does he have two heads? We started this business at the same time" Complains the lazy man. No he doesn't. He is just doing things Differently than it has been done. But you sir, mimic the way of everyone else because you're too lazy to think of a better way

People who have genuinely worked hard for their money will not continue to dash it out to one who has refused to work or has a hist…

TTB HotSeat. Blogittup is Next!

Hey guys! The time is here again. That time when we pick the next TTB reader to grace our hotseat and ask them any and every question we want to ask them. 
You know how this goes. You leave your questions in the comment section. I (or some particularly helpful blog reader) compiles and forwards them all to our HotSeat champ who answers each and everyone of them. There's no limit to the kind of questions you can ask, and in turn they answer them all. 
On our next HotSeat, by popular demand, we're having Blogittup 😅 Finally, we have a chic on the hotseat. 

In case you missed the previous hotseats, read them here

Thelma (me): Thelma's hotseat
Chrisyinks: Chrisyinks' hotseat
Kon: Kon's hotseat
Uyi: Uyi's hotseat
Memphis: Memphis' hotseat
So do drop your questions for Blogittup in the comment section. She is very good at asking people multiple JAMB questions, it's time we serve her a dose of her own poison. She has also been mandated to answer each question as…

Sister Solidarity Nearly Got Me Into Trouble!

Yesterday we had a small owambe at Chidoz. So this lady was celebrating her 30th birthday which her husband was paying for. She's yoruba, from one of the local yoruba families here in Ijesha/Itire, Surulere, the daughter of one of the most famed butchers in the area. The husband is an igbo man who is known for spending lavishly and spoiling his wife like igbo men are supposedly known for. In fact, it is said that the butcher said that he wishes all his daughters can marry igbo men, as his igbo son-in-law is the only one among all his sons-in-law who spoils his wife and takes care of her parents the way he does. (I still don't know this thing about igbo men spoiling their wives better...)
So anyways they came to have their party here, and they brought their own caterers but they had to buy drinks from us. 
So I was at the counter because when we have parties like this, it's a very big opportunity for staff to steal with ease, therefore most times I have to be at Chidoz to han…

Narcos & Co.

Hi hello how are you? This weekend is turning out to be an antithesis of the last one. I'm home now, actually home alone, I just returned from a client's office where I spent most of my evening. At the moment I'm doing a bit of legal work for her, nothing serious, just registering some companies and also trademarking one of her company's names, so I took a few documents over to her office for her to sign. It should have taken five minutes or less but I ended up spending hours there. She's just moved to a new office in Lekki phase 1 and I couldn't help but admire her strength, her work ethics and the entire set-up.  So she was telling me how she's lived both in the east and outside the country most of her life and then she came to Lagos and was planning to do just one year here but it's been 5 years and she still can't leave, in fact she's decided never to leave. She said to me "Thelma it baffles me when people who live in Lagos say they'…

If You Could...

Is José Mourinho a celebrity? If yes, then him! All that smouldering intense anger 🔥🔥🔥
LOL. Ok, foreign celebrity Wiz Khalifa. Don't ask me why 🙈🙊
Nigerian... I hope y'all don't mind but since there's no male Nigerian celebrity that I'd like to sex, then I'd have to go with a chic... Ebube Nwagbo, she's seem like she'd know what to do 💥
But seeing as I'm straight let's stick with Wiz. LOL. 
Your turn 😃

.