Saturday, 24 September 2016
Thursday, 22 September 2016
Wednesday, 21 September 2016
During the reception my now ex-husband got drunk, I was sober, exhausted and suffered major claustrophobia from having 1000 guests I didn't care for. The picture taking and ceremony in general was exhausting. He insisted on staying until the very last guest had left, getting drunker and drunker with the last few drunks who lingered, ignoring my requests to leave.
When we finally got back to the hotel he actually thought I was going to have sex with him. After I declined, he turned on DSTV before he passed out.
It was our marriage in a nutshell, but of course I wasn’t enlightened enough to see it at the time. So for me, wedding, marriage, extremely underwhelming." It's so interesting how most people I know didn't enjoy their #wedding. These wedding hashtags and photos on insta be telling me otherwise though. Everything always looks "Lit"
I want to ask if you can organize a blog hangout for the 1st of October.
We must all come in Green and White 😂
I kid... It's a Saturday and the Monday after is a public holiday 😊😊😊
We could have a picnic somewhere nice or go on a boat cruise 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽 errrr I have no idea how much that costs but if it's affordable... Yes!!! 💃🏽
Just think about it please 😍😍😍😘😘😘
Monday, 19 September 2016
This relationship was the best I ever had, I loved him with everything I had, it was my first real relationship yet he didn't exactly ask me to be his girlfriend, we just kinda talked and talked until we were so close it was more like a relationship. He became my best friend in the whole world, my confidant, adviser, mentor, etc. I still don't know why it ended but it did and he moved on with a girl who was his "friend" just 3 weeks later. That alone tore my heart to shreds and I was unable to do anything with myself for almost a month. I remember that time like it was yesterday, I just went thru the motions daily - wake up, do my chores, go to work, work till very late, come home, and sleep, everyday for almost one month. I lost weight, life lost its meaning and everything around me was just gloomy. I deleted his numbers from my phone, deleted our texts, unfollowed him on facebook but kept him on twitter.
For a very long time, we didn't communicate, I moved on with life and started building my career. I honestly thought I was over him but if I would finally admit and be true to myself, I have thought about him, EVERYDAY for the past 5 years. I can just walk by a place that reminds me of him, infact, I worked somewhere for 2 years where one of my colleagues looked exactly like him, (that colleague became my favourite person in that organisation), I would hear someone say something and it would remind me of a conversation we had or how he talks.
Every once in a while, he messages me on whatsapp to say hello, I'm usually cool and respond to all the questions with monosyllabic answers so as not to drag it out cos I sorta knew he was still unavailable. Some weeks ago tho, he messaged me again and I didn't respond in the usual way, I decided to have an actual conversation and we started chatting every night. We'd chat even at work and then after work till way past midnight then one of those days, he told me he was getting married to the same girl, the friend from that time, and I realized that although I had told myself something different, I was still holding out hope that we would get together again. I told him the next morning that I couldn't chat with him everyday anymore and that I had to move forward and stop looking back. He apologised and that was the end. That was two weeks ago.
I saw the wedding picture on facebook today and the pain in my heart right now confirms my fear all along, I haven't stopped loving this guy. Even though I have had other relationships since we parted ways 5 years ago, I have not come close to loving anyone as much as I loved him.
I currently have the best boyfriend in the entire world, he loves me and would do literally anything to make me happy but I don't love him as much as I know I can. I know how my heart sings when I'm in love but my heart doesn't sing for my boyfriend, talking to him feels more like a chore these days, I'd rather read a book. We've been on and off for 2 years now and I know he loves me but I just can't, it's like something in me is broken and I can't fix it. Yet, I don't want to break up with him cos who would stay with me with all my craziness? Who would see all of me with my big flaws and many many short comings and still choose to stay with me. I don't want to be an old maid. My plan was to be married at 26, I'm 26 already but I'm not in love.
I need to stop loving this guy so I can move on with my life and love other people, I have tried everything, hating him, anger, the silent treatment, nothing has worked. And trust me, I hate women like myself who have a good man and yet are stuck on some ass hole somewhere who doesn't give a rat's ass about them but I can't seem to move forward.
I desperately want to love again. I want to see my boyfriend's call and be excited and smile from the bottom of my heart with genuine happiness. I want to love and be loved but I just can't bring myself to love anyone again with such reckless abandon. I don't know if it's fear or I've just exhausted all the love I have in me to give anyone. These days, my work consumes me, I work everyday of the week whether I have to or not just so I can fill this emptiness inside. I don't want to sit at home on weekends and just mope, I don't have any friends either.
The funny thing is, I always thought only people in sexual relationships were stuck on their exes like me but this guy and I only kissed once and that once doesn't even qualify cos it was really awkward and I was nervous as hell the whole time.
Guys, I honestly need help. Will I love this guy forever? Or will I get over him one day, it's been 5 years and I'm still heart broken. Will I ever love someone as much as I loved this guy? Or have I just not found the right guy to love?
Your honest advice will be appreciated.
Thursday, 15 September 2016
Wednesday, 14 September 2016
Tuesday, 13 September 2016
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?
Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
I wish you can learn how to read your Bible like dis.
I bet you, God will like it and be happy. hehehe If it were a biblical
message, you'd have skipped.
lead you to more recession in this Bukari era ..hehehe. Only
Abi Aunty thelma,uncle kon,memphis,uyi,kene,Sasha
John, unknown. all the anonymous and other BV's ..... I lie ???
Monday, 12 September 2016
Friday, 9 September 2016
Dear TTB Readers….. (My close friend and I like each other but it’s kinda weird transitioning to lovers…)
I am 24 year old who recently obtained a Bachelor’s degree and already studying for a Master’s degree which means I will be abroad for at least the next 2 years.
Mr B is 26 years, we have been friends for over 7 years and it never occurred to me he liked me although he always jokingly gave hints but I just never thought about it. He is my godmother’s nephew and I met him at her place so he is like family to me. I eventually traveled abroad for studies around the same time he graduated from Uni.
Over the years, he has been the one who criticizes my cover letters, resume, biography, speech and every application I submitted for a job position. I always sort his opinion and he even helped build my LinkedIn profile and gave me tips on how to network properly.
Over the years, we have been there for each other, supported each other during tough times, exams and even dated different people. Somehow, we were comfortable confiding in each other during breakups and to be honest I saw him more like a brother simply because I never took the hints to heart.
3 days ago, I randomly called him and somehow we talked about balancing family and career. We are both very focused on building awesome careers and at the same time wouldn’t want to sacrifice family time in the process.
I don’t know how it happened but after that conversation I felt immense peace. I couldn’t sleep well that night and I took time to go through all our conversations. I noticed some of our chats where he gave some hints but I never took it serious. I decided I was going to ask him if he meant them considering we were both very single at the moment.
We talked last night and to my surprise, he said he really likes me but was too scared to open up for fear things would go south because of the distance. I chuckled and felt butterflies at that moment and told him everything changed the night we had that conversation. I also told him he doesn’t have to worry that we both can make it work if we want to. We jokingly imagined how my godmother and her family would feel if we announced we were a couple. We concluded on keeping things hush and also discussed our expectations. We made some promises, decided to transition slowly and apologized in advance for the days things will go south.
After that conversation, I barely slept and everything felt weird. I couldn’t bring myself to text him this morning and he hasn’t buzzed me either. It feels really weird transitioning from being friends to being a couple. It feels awkward imagining our first kiss, sex and everything in between.
What would you guys do if you were in my shoes…
Guys first off I'd like to "brag" a little about the poster. For privacy sake let's call her Miss O. As Miss O said, she just graduated and is about to begin her Masters. What Miss O did not tell you guys is that she studied/is studying in an Eastern European country where she bagged a First Class and she also gave the Thank You speech at her graduation ceremony.
What's even more impressive is that she's in a field that's male dominated. Not Engineering, no, wayyy more technical. A field where women are somewhat like unicorns. Her Masters is only one of the early stages of her academic career. Although she's younger than I am, I admire her so much. We talk from time to time and it's very clear that she has her head screwed on right, she intends to be great and she's taking very great steps to attain that goal. Kudos Miss O!
Now to the post at hand
It seems you both overthought and over analyzed things too early. All that talk about expectations, making promises and plans on how to handle things on the hard days is probably what made things feel weightier than they ought to be. Y'all said you'd start slow yet you started out too serious. You see, once you'd both defined it, things should have started out light and fluffy and fun and you'd both make your rules along the way. You're talking about dating, not a marriage! So in the future do try to keep things light, and then if/when things begin to get serious, you can start to have those conversations.
The only advise I have is TALK.
Do not allow this silence and awkwardness fester. If he hasn't called, don't be afraid to call him and ask him why the silence. Also TELL him how you felt, tell him you started feeling some type of way. This would also encourage him to open up and relax too. Allow him talk and LISTEN to both what he's saying and what he's not saying. Once you both talk, you'd figure out how you want to handle things going forward. Do you think it's better to remain friends? Then chuckle it off and go back to being the awesome friends that you were. Do you think you'd still like to be a couple? Then go ahead and give the relationship a shot.
So in my humble opinion, the first thing you have to do is have a CONVERSATION. I understand that at your age this type of conversation may be challenging or uncomfortable, but it shouldn't be so hard. Don't overthink it, don't make it too serious. Remember that you've always been friends and have always been able to talk deeply with each other. So now do just that, TALK.
If you do not talk now, things are going to go downhill, both your budding relationship and your existing precious friendship. If you're both silent now, that friendship is going to melt into oblivion and in a few years you'd find yourself wondering what could have been, if only you'd both been able to just talk about it.
So talk. And if that's too hard, then have a chat. Just make sure your thoughts and feelings are adequately conveyed.
People, what would you do in her shoes. Please help!