Skip to main content

Dear Extrovert. (Letter From An Introvert)


"Dear Extroverts,
You amaze me. Your outgoing friendliness, your capacity for life and people, your sheer energy! I’m fascinated by the way you can go from engagement to engagement without taking a break. And how you never seem to be at a loss for words.
I must confess, when I see the ease with which you operate in the world, I am often envious. You just don’t seem fazed by all that happens. And you command attention so easily. I’m jealous of how you can move so quickly and accomplish so much in a day. The world does seem to be made for people like you.
I must also say I’m sorry. I’m sorry I keep declining your invitations. Please know that when I do so, it’s not because I don’t like you. I’ve probably just had a very full week and need some time on my own to refill my energy tank. It often pains me to say “no” to you. I fear that one of these days, I’ll have turned you down one too many times and you won’t be my friend anymore. Or that I’ll miss out on some fantastic experience.
I’m sorry, too, for making you feel awkward by my silence. It takes me a while to put words to my thoughts. It’s scary for me to start speaking without knowing the complete thought I want to express. In most cases, I probably have something to say – if you just wait long enough for me to gather my thoughts. Or, if you give me a heads up and mention it to me beforehand, I can mull things over in advance. You probably wouldn’t believe this, but most times, I will rehearse a phone call in my head before I dial your number. And after we hang up, I’ll replay our conversation twenty times in my head, thinking of better things I could have said.
I often find myself wishing I were more like you. Sometimes I resent my need for so much sleep and time alone. I feel so limited and needy. I dislike the fact that I often have to pare down my to-do list to one or two things a day and learn to be satisfied with that. I also wish it didn’t take so much effort to get out of the house. At conferences, parties and meetings, I sometimes take refuge in the quietness of the bathroom. And then I feel silly, or think I’m a bad person for skipping out on things.
Oh, I’ve tried to be more like you. For many years, I packed my schedule and attended every event. The results were disastrous. I had to take a year of medical leave to recuperate.
I’m learning though. I’m learning that being able to sit in stillness is a gift. And that my limits are also a gift. I’m learning to be more bold with what I have to offer the world; to speak louder when I do decide to talk. I’m learning, too, that I can appreciate your strengths without needing to possess them myself. Because in the end, we all need each other. And you inspire me to take more risks in life.
I do really appreciate when you initiate with me though. Picking up the phone is a bit scary sometimes, so it’s nice when you call. I apologize in advance though if you get my voicemail… My phone is sometimes on silent(!)
Thanks for bearing with me.
Your dear, mysterious, and quiet friend,
Olive."


I was overjoyed, ecstatic, amazed, enlightened and most especially, relieved when I came across this letter and also other texts written about introversion and extroversion. This is because I'm an introvert. I've known this for many years but I did not know it was the reason behind my behavior. I thought myself (as did others both family, friends, acquaintances and even strangers) to be strange and weird. I thought so many things I did were peculiar to me. Sometimes I even disliked myself and I now realize its because I did not understand me. Same way some people probably dislike(d) me because they do/did not understand me. . I'm glad to put up this letter first so that other introverted people like me will know and understand, that there's nothing wrong with them and its just the way we are. Also, and more importantly for extroverts to read and understand. I hope some of my extroverted friends get to read this (I really hope they do, seeing as most won't have the patience to. Typical. Lol).
        I stumbled upon this letter and I was happy, because it showed me that I do not have a problem, that I'm not alone, that I'm not an "ogbanje" as some people close to me have often said, albeit jokingly, that I'm not a snob (this particularly hurt me. How could I be a snob when I was grateful you came over to talk to me? it's just unfortunate that I could not articulate an immediate response. I tried to think of the right things to say but you'd already lost interest before I could, by then you'd labeled me snob), I'm not unfriendly (I occasionally lack the knowhow to be otherwise), and NO I DO NOT SUFFER FROM INFERIORITY COMPLEX OR LOW SELF ESTEEM. I had to shout this because I've been "accused" of these by "friends" and even an ex-boyfriend, because of my introverted ways. 
       I put up this letter because from the response it got, its obvious that a multitude of people possess these characteristics/behaviors/mannerisms. We however do not talk about it because really, who's got the time? Plus, we don't know that it's not peculiar to us as individuals, alone.             
       Everything mentioned in this letter may not apply to every introvert, just as some characteristics were left out. I would like do more posts on this because its something that intrigues me. Also knowledge really is power and knowing and understanding myself better has helped me handle situations better and has thus made me a better person. I would also explore Extroversion too. I totally love extroverts. In fact I'm sometimes in awe. 
  
As always, I'd love to hear, read your thoughts. 

Comments

  1. this post is so awesome and true. as an introvert i can relate with alot of things here and also with people thinking i have low sel esteem but because i'm a bit shy

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hurray for introverts everywhere!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well I'm naturally an introvert but someone once told me that you lose more than you gain by keeping to yourself, so I had to make an effort. It's painful sometimes because it takes me out of my comfort zone but I've noticed positive changes and as an entrepreneur I really have no other choice but to market myself.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I was a bit surprised to read your response on being an introvert. In my head, I thought of you as an extrovert being that you express yourself so well in writing. so reading your short stories/poem gave me that perception of you. I am a bit envious of people who have the gift of writing and knowing how to play with words so beautifully. At least you can write so that should compensate for your lack of words. Anyways i too fit in the category of introverts but on a different level. I strive to come out of my shell and work hard at it because being on the end of a spectrum isn't a good deal. A balance in life goes a long way which is what I long for.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank Chineze, most introverts tend to be good it writing because its our "better" form of communication. If I tried to day these words they won't come out quite the same and after a couple of times trying to explain it I just give up. You're absolutely right about finding a balance.

      Delete
  5. I am an extrovert who loves introverts. I just think they're so deep. Often, I observe them and try to learn from them. You get no recognition, but when u do anything, so much thought is put into it that it comes out great. So yay! www.drnsmusings.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

One More Post...

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Giveaway Finale!

Happy Sunday y'all. 
This is the conclusive part of #WCG. 
All the N25,000 recipients have received their cash.
All the students have also received their N10,000. 
Once again guys please comment under any of the posts, or this one that you've received your money. Thanks. 

So moving forward, this final giveaway contains 
1. N10,000 for 5 people. 

2. 3 kimonos from Julian's dressmakers. 
3. 3 pairs of Palm slippers from WaleOnibata. (Gents) 
4. 2 pairs of shoes from Courtney's Closet. (Ladies. Size 9 and Size 11). 

5. 1 human hair wig from Gabby's Wigs'n'Weaves. You pick from one of the wigs below. 
6. 3 cakes from CakesandCream 

7. A getaway at CitiHeight Hotel Ikeja for 3 people. (Who can each bring one person along).  


As I said earlier, Kon has already won a stay at CitiHeight and Clare, a kimono. So those gifts are now available for 2 people each. 
There is no competition. We are only going to play a game. 
I have each gift item listed out in numbers. Number 1 to 100. …

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa