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The drinks flowed freely like water in a Greek fountain. But the liquor, unlike water was top notch. The DJ obviously knew his onions and kept our heads bobbing. The girls.... Hmmm, it was difficult to describe the girls, they came in all shapes and sizes, all heights and complexions, but one thing was indisputable, they were HOT! The party was in full swing and  I could barely stand still. I leaned against the bar, pouring what was left of the Ciroc vodka into our glasses. I was about to signal for another bottle when I saw her walk towards us. My hand hung mid air as I prayed to God, let her be coming to me. Jeez. She was something!
She got to the bar and smiled warmly at Bolu. Immediately I fell in love. Someone would have expected a seductive, "come-hither" pout from this goddess and not the warm comely shy smile she gave. "Hi. I'm Mimi" she said to Bolu. He smiled like a cat who just found a bowl full of sardines. "Bolu" he said, raising his charm from level one, to ten. I relinquished my space for Mimi. Yeah, I was jealous of Bolu but he was my man. Suddenly feeling alone, I took the opportunity to circle the party but even during small talk with acquaintances I couldn't stop looking across the room to Bolu and Mimi stood. They were deep in conversation and every few minutes she burst out in laughter. 
       About an hour later I returned to the happy duo. They were exchanging numbers when I got to them. she was obviously leaving. Bolu escorted her out as she left and I was left alone for a short while, thinking what a lucky man my friend was. Walking back to the bar, he topped his glass and kept smiling. I waited patiently for him to say something but he didn't. "Hmmmm, Mimi...... So you're going to call her"? I asked. Dumb question really, of course he would. Bolu took a sip from his glass and slowly shook his head, "I don't think so bruv, she's ok, she's just not my type". 

When you're not your type's type? 
I guess everyone has experienced this at least once. EVERYONE! Because no matter how beautiful, hot, handsome, cute, attractive, smart, sexy etc etc etc you are, there's still someone out there who doesn't fancy you. It doesn't mean they don't like you, it means you're just not their type. They're fine being friends with you but that's just about it. 
When you have a type or Spec (in nigerian lingo (I hate that word)), they're the members of the opposite sex (or same sex?) you're attracted to. they're the sort of people you like to date, be around, spend time with, have sex with, basically, be with.  Sometimes however, there are a few people we make exceptions for. 

(Sub-topic) When who you're with is not your type. Reasons for this could be
a) Love
b) Loneliness
c) Desperation
d) Money (or other material gains)
e) Your pastor said so?
f) Boredom
g) Great sex
h) Persistent persuasion 
f) ........ That's where mine ends, add yours
Sometimes we step outside the usual confines of our "type". Last year I dated someone who wasn't my type. Physically he was the exact opposite of what I was/am usually attracted to in a guy. I normally would not date someone like him but I did. My reason was Boredom. I needed something different and new in my life and he was available! Did I add that his apartment was sort of like heaven on earth and he had a kick-ass ride? LOL. Also , there was persistent persuasion, not only friend him but from a dear friend of mine who wouldn't let me hear word and was constantly complaining that I was waiting for Jesus himself to come down and date me and that my biological clock was ticking. So I gave in. 
      Now however, things are reversed and I find myself on the other side of the court so I'm asking, what do you do when you're not your type's type? There's this guy who's a friend of a friend. He's totally my type. He's not only single, but he's also searching. YAY! LUCKY ME abi? Well No. Unfortunately, I'm not his type. I know a few of his Ex's and from what's I've seen, they all have some things in common. They're all petite and on the short side, at most 5ft4. They're all light skinned, they're all high maintenance, they're all from a certain background. Unfortunately I'm none of the above, I'm the opposite of petite, I'm about 6ft, I'm dark skinned, I'm not high maintenance and no, I do not come from that certain background. So I find myself wondering, what's the way forward? 
      I ask again, especially if you've been in this particular situation, or if you've dated/married someone that wasn't the type of person you'll normally go for, what's the way forward? I'm sure i'm not the only one in these shoes and we'll all like to know. 
Yeah, there might be other guys on my case but unfortunately, the heart wants what the heart wants. Sad! 


  1. spec......I hate that word too sounds demeaning and immature..maybe its just beef though cos i don't think i was ever anyones spec...til i met my hubby that is....on to serious things...for me it was desperation...i don dey reach 30 no show...i got a bashing every time i went home.....i was getting old and i am big i better start thinking of settling down....bla bla i found myself dating not one, not two, but three guys who were so not my type....they had asked me out for years and couldn't believe their luck when i gave them the chance....suffice it to say that those three relationships did not exceed a month each.....and i came out feeling dirty, cheap and abused.....worse than i felt going in....

  2. peer and family pressure....that's the koko...

    1. You're right. I think I must have had that in mind also when I said Desperation.

  3. LOL, switch to " AGAPE LOVE ". The love of Christ that is unconditional. That way every type becomes your type. On the other hand i think its "NEMESIS" when most girls are looking out for Rich guys with expensive cars and call them their "type",ignoring their real "type" who is hardworking , saving and trying to make ends meet.

    They forget that they are not the only girls "TARGETING THAT TYPE",lol . By the time the type is done with them and switches over to the next, they are told "YOU ARE NOT MY TYPE".

    So when choosing your type next time, ask yourself if the "CARS,CASH,HOUSE " are taken away from him, will he still be your type?

  4. LOL, switch to " AGAPE LOVE ". The love of Christ that is unconditional. That way every type becomes your type. On the other hand i think its "NEMESIS" when most girls are looking out for Rich guys with expensive cars and call them their "type",ignoring their real "type" who is hardworking , saving and trying to make ends meet.

    They forget that they are not the only girls "TARGETING THAT TYPE",lol . By the time the type is done with them and switches over to the next, they are told "YOU ARE NOT MY TYPE".

    So when choosing your type next time, ask yourself if the "CARS,CASH,HOUSE " are taken away from him, will he still be your type?

  5. Hmmm... On this issue of type, I guess we all have it classified based on who we are and how we choose to see it; For me, my custom-TYPE CLASSIFICATION majors on a person's personality, character, mindset and lifestyle. The very first thing I would want to know is if you're a christian, I can't compromise at that. Next, I would want to know and understand your mentality about a lot of key issues. I have met quite a number of young ladies and their mentalities and views are just not it. In actual fact, I have observed that many young people live in self deception and are always potraying a form of superficiality and ofcourse I would not even waste my time considering fake people.

  6. Amazing read. The best way to clarify your type is the 'strip down ' approach . take away everything money can buy, pastor has said, family and friends want etc. Imagine you are alone with this dude/girl in Pakistan or act emote place with no technology. Would he be by our type and would you be his type? Question for tortoise

  7. Ok,Judging from what y'all have said,does it mean "type" means "Mad Chemistry"? Cos Beckham is my "type" any day and night!!!! Lols

  8. Lol@ sasha. But ikuku talk true sha.

  9. Conciously or unconciously,everyone has particular 'TYPE'-settings,usually based on our personalities and experiences but when u meet the 'One'(or someone that seems lyk it),our brain TYPE-SETTING 'sharperly' goes into Auto ReAdJuStMeNT/ReViSiON mode and voila,the frog becomes ur prince! Sandra

  10. to the guys
    Type doesn't always mean money
    If a guy can make you laugh or you can talk forever
    type fade away and friendship is birthed
    So strip everything and if he is still God fearing
    and puts God first and is ambitious but not cutthroat
    he is my type

  11. Funny enough, my bf is not my type. But I love him so much, he is sweet, sensitive and loving. Thank God I kept an open mind(maybe old age helped) smtime having a type wud block u frm getting the love of u life.


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