Skip to main content

HELP! I'M NOT HIS TYPE

The drinks flowed freely like water in a Greek fountain. But the liquor, unlike water was top notch. The DJ obviously knew his onions and kept our heads bobbing. The girls.... Hmmm, it was difficult to describe the girls, they came in all shapes and sizes, all heights and complexions, but one thing was indisputable, they were HOT! The party was in full swing and  I could barely stand still. I leaned against the bar, pouring what was left of the Ciroc vodka into our glasses. I was about to signal for another bottle when I saw her walk towards us. My hand hung mid air as I prayed to God, let her be coming to me. Jeez. She was something!
She got to the bar and smiled warmly at Bolu. Immediately I fell in love. Someone would have expected a seductive, "come-hither" pout from this goddess and not the warm comely shy smile she gave. "Hi. I'm Mimi" she said to Bolu. He smiled like a cat who just found a bowl full of sardines. "Bolu" he said, raising his charm from level one, to ten. I relinquished my space for Mimi. Yeah, I was jealous of Bolu but he was my man. Suddenly feeling alone, I took the opportunity to circle the party but even during small talk with acquaintances I couldn't stop looking across the room to Bolu and Mimi stood. They were deep in conversation and every few minutes she burst out in laughter. 
       About an hour later I returned to the happy duo. They were exchanging numbers when I got to them. she was obviously leaving. Bolu escorted her out as she left and I was left alone for a short while, thinking what a lucky man my friend was. Walking back to the bar, he topped his glass and kept smiling. I waited patiently for him to say something but he didn't. "Hmmmm, Mimi...... So you're going to call her"? I asked. Dumb question really, of course he would. Bolu took a sip from his glass and slowly shook his head, "I don't think so bruv, she's ok, she's just not my type". 


When you're not your type's type? 
I guess everyone has experienced this at least once. EVERYONE! Because no matter how beautiful, hot, handsome, cute, attractive, smart, sexy etc etc etc you are, there's still someone out there who doesn't fancy you. It doesn't mean they don't like you, it means you're just not their type. They're fine being friends with you but that's just about it. 
When you have a type or Spec (in nigerian lingo (I hate that word)), they're the members of the opposite sex (or same sex?) you're attracted to. they're the sort of people you like to date, be around, spend time with, have sex with, basically, be with.  Sometimes however, there are a few people we make exceptions for. 

(Sub-topic) When who you're with is not your type. Reasons for this could be
a) Love
b) Loneliness
c) Desperation
d) Money (or other material gains)
e) Your pastor said so?
f) Boredom
g) Great sex
h) Persistent persuasion 
f) ........ That's where mine ends, add yours
Sometimes we step outside the usual confines of our "type". Last year I dated someone who wasn't my type. Physically he was the exact opposite of what I was/am usually attracted to in a guy. I normally would not date someone like him but I did. My reason was Boredom. I needed something different and new in my life and he was available! Did I add that his apartment was sort of like heaven on earth and he had a kick-ass ride? LOL. Also , there was persistent persuasion, not only friend him but from a dear friend of mine who wouldn't let me hear word and was constantly complaining that I was waiting for Jesus himself to come down and date me and that my biological clock was ticking. So I gave in. 
      Now however, things are reversed and I find myself on the other side of the court so I'm asking, what do you do when you're not your type's type? There's this guy who's a friend of a friend. He's totally my type. He's not only single, but he's also searching. YAY! LUCKY ME abi? Well No. Unfortunately, I'm not his type. I know a few of his Ex's and from what's I've seen, they all have some things in common. They're all petite and on the short side, at most 5ft4. They're all light skinned, they're all high maintenance, they're all from a certain background. Unfortunately I'm none of the above, I'm the opposite of petite, I'm about 6ft, I'm dark skinned, I'm not high maintenance and no, I do not come from that certain background. So I find myself wondering, what's the way forward? 
      I ask again, especially if you've been in this particular situation, or if you've dated/married someone that wasn't the type of person you'll normally go for, what's the way forward? I'm sure i'm not the only one in these shoes and we'll all like to know. 
Yeah, there might be other guys on my case but unfortunately, the heart wants what the heart wants. Sad! 

Comments

  1. spec......I hate that word too sounds demeaning and immature..maybe its just beef though cos i don't think i was ever anyones spec...til i met my hubby that is....on to serious things...for me it was desperation...i don dey reach 30 no show...i got a bashing every time i went home.....i was getting old and i am big i better start thinking of settling down....bla bla bla.....so i found myself dating not one, not two, but three guys who were so not my type....they had asked me out for years and couldn't believe their luck when i gave them the chance....suffice it to say that those three relationships did not exceed a month each.....and i came out feeling dirty, cheap and abused.....worse than i felt going in....

    ReplyDelete
  2. peer and family pressure....that's the koko...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right. I think I must have had that in mind also when I said Desperation.

      Delete
  3. LOL, switch to " AGAPE LOVE ". The love of Christ that is unconditional. That way every type becomes your type. On the other hand i think its "NEMESIS" when most girls are looking out for Rich guys with expensive cars and call them their "type",ignoring their real "type" who is hardworking , saving and trying to make ends meet.

    They forget that they are not the only girls "TARGETING THAT TYPE",lol . By the time the type is done with them and switches over to the next, they are told "YOU ARE NOT MY TYPE".

    So when choosing your type next time, ask yourself if the "CARS,CASH,HOUSE " are taken away from him, will he still be your type?

    ReplyDelete
  4. LOL, switch to " AGAPE LOVE ". The love of Christ that is unconditional. That way every type becomes your type. On the other hand i think its "NEMESIS" when most girls are looking out for Rich guys with expensive cars and call them their "type",ignoring their real "type" who is hardworking , saving and trying to make ends meet.

    They forget that they are not the only girls "TARGETING THAT TYPE",lol . By the time the type is done with them and switches over to the next, they are told "YOU ARE NOT MY TYPE".

    So when choosing your type next time, ask yourself if the "CARS,CASH,HOUSE " are taken away from him, will he still be your type?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hmmm... On this issue of type, I guess we all have it classified based on who we are and how we choose to see it; For me, my custom-TYPE CLASSIFICATION majors on a person's personality, character, mindset and lifestyle. The very first thing I would want to know is if you're a christian, I can't compromise at that. Next, I would want to know and understand your mentality about a lot of key issues. I have met quite a number of young ladies and their mentalities and views are just not it. In actual fact, I have observed that many young people live in self deception and are always potraying a form of superficiality and ofcourse I would not even waste my time considering fake people.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Amazing read. The best way to clarify your type is the 'strip down ' approach . take away everything money can buy, pastor has said, family and friends want etc. Imagine you are alone with this dude/girl in Pakistan or act emote place with no technology. Would he be by our type and would you be his type? Question for tortoise

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ok,Judging from what y'all have said,does it mean "type" means "Mad Chemistry"? Cos Beckham is my "type" any day and night!!!! Lols

    ReplyDelete
  8. Lol@ sasha. But ikuku talk true sha.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Conciously or unconciously,everyone has particular 'TYPE'-settings,usually based on our personalities and experiences but when u meet the 'One'(or someone that seems lyk it),our brain TYPE-SETTING 'sharperly' goes into Auto ReAdJuStMeNT/ReViSiON mode and voila,the frog becomes ur prince! Sandra

    ReplyDelete
  10. to the guys
    Type doesn't always mean money
    If a guy can make you laugh or you can talk forever
    type fade away and friendship is birthed
    So strip everything and if he is still God fearing
    and puts God first and is ambitious but not cutthroat
    he is my type

    ReplyDelete
  11. Funny enough, my bf is not my type. But I love him so much, he is sweet, sensitive and loving. Thank God I kept an open mind(maybe old age helped) smtime having a type wud block u frm getting the love of u life.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

One More Post...

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Giveaway Finale!

Happy Sunday y'all. 
This is the conclusive part of #WCG. 
All the N25,000 recipients have received their cash.
All the students have also received their N10,000. 
Once again guys please comment under any of the posts, or this one that you've received your money. Thanks. 

So moving forward, this final giveaway contains 
1. N10,000 for 5 people. 

2. 3 kimonos from Julian's dressmakers. 
3. 3 pairs of Palm slippers from WaleOnibata. (Gents) 
4. 2 pairs of shoes from Courtney's Closet. (Ladies. Size 9 and Size 11). 

5. 1 human hair wig from Gabby's Wigs'n'Weaves. You pick from one of the wigs below. 
6. 3 cakes from CakesandCream 

7. A getaway at CitiHeight Hotel Ikeja for 3 people. (Who can each bring one person along).  


As I said earlier, Kon has already won a stay at CitiHeight and Clare, a kimono. So those gifts are now available for 2 people each. 
There is no competition. We are only going to play a game. 
I have each gift item listed out in numbers. Number 1 to 100. …

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa