I had a dream, I was fat. Woke up, still fat.
LOL. Anyone who is, or has ever been overweight would understand the vexation I feel sometimes when I wake up in the morning. Now, let me give you guys my early morning routine when I wake up everyday, that's my routine before I get off the bed o! Let's call it my train of thoughts.
1. Think, what did I eat yesterday? What did I have for dinner? What did I have after dinner? What did I have after what I had after dinner? How thick was the warm chocolate I drank after convincing myself I just couldn't sleep without?
2. How many calories could it all have been? 5000? 10,000?
3. Why do I do this to myself?
4. Haven't I heard the saying "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"?
5. Today I shall begin a diet.. Think, JUICE FAST. Yes!
Then I jump off my bed, determined and enthusiastic.
Thirty minutes later I'm rummaging through the fridge. Just feeding my eyes I say. Then my belly rumbles. I think; I would need to go to the market and all that many many wahala for this juice fast. And I would have to do that EVERYDAY! Mehn fuck it! I reach for the weighty shoprite bread, break two eggs into the frying pan, in goes half a can of corned beef. YUMMY (I hear you health nuts saying "GROSS", whatever mayne...) grab my breakfast and leave the kitchen, well not before I open the freezer and grab an ice cold bottle of coke.
Tomorrow is another day, I'll start my fast then. But do I? Well look up for my early morning train of thoughts.
*Covers face in shame while grinning like a Cheshire cat*