So here I am, trying to figure out what I want to do with my blog. I've been writing articles and poems and my general random thoughts and observations and/or rants to be posted at later dates, before I tell anyone about the blog and more importantly, editing a story I've been working on for months, to be posted weekly, I just got to the twelfth part. Then two days ago, I went to see a late movie, passed up on going to the club afterwards, because was thinking, I should go home and work on my posts and my story so I can get this blog off her tiny feet. I get home, get undressed, get in bed, grab my ipad, open NOTES..... It took me a few minutes to figure out what was going on, at first I couldn't find a poem I had written earlier that day which I was totally excited about. I just wanted to read it to cheer myself up but Alas! It wasn't there. Then while trying to figure out how to undo delete (I thought I must have mistakenly deleted it), I thought, let me check again, this poem should be here. I go back to my notes and its then i realized my story part 1-11 had disappeared too. Along with Other short stories and articles and poems I had planned to post. On further investigation, I noticed what I had left on my notes were things I had no use for. Very random stuff that I should have deleted a long time ago. If I didn't know better, I would have thought someone who really wanted to piss me off got hold of my ipad. I was so sad/confused/distraught/pissed/disappointed/depressed/enraged. Then I stormed google, trying to find ways to get back my intellectual property. Most sites suggested ICloud, if my notes were backed up on ICloud then it would be there. So quickly, I rushed to my settings, remembering I did back up everything on my iCloud. But guess what, everything on my ipad was backed up on iCloud, everything, except my Notes! It was then I had to ask. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The most painful part for me is the loss of my story, for someone who's never written a story, its just a story. Big deal. But for someone who has, you'll know how it hurts to sit for hours, thinking, planning, plotting scenarios, building suspense, doing research to build up your characters, staying up late into the night to give life to your characters, thinking, typing, deleting, typing again, and doing this for several months..... I was so excited about sharing it with everyone. I put so much time and energy into it, and now, POOF! Just like dust, its gone. I thought about writing it again but I know it won't be the same, some things i wrote were a result of divine inspiration. Some things were borne in rare moments of clarity and wisdom. The thought of starting over is daunting, one that I dont even want to face. A little voice in my head says, "it won't be the same. But it may be BETTER". Hmmm, maybe..... Besides worse things could have happened. I could have lost the ipad along with everything I have in it. Or let's get real dark, I could have been run off the road as I drove back home at 11pm and not be able to go home and open the ipad and realize that it swallowed my freaking intellectual shiznit! LOL!
At this point, I'm sure you realize my rant is over. I looked for the bright spots, difficult as it was, and I found it. I'll try to adopt this attitude with everything. I'll try to find something to be thankful for amidst disappointments. And I'll try to believe that something good will always come out from dashed hopes and expectations. I'll also try to BELIEVE it.