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She's Just NOT That Into You.

In plain English, Guy, She's just not that into you. Wake up and smell the coffee!

This morning, I would like to help out some (clueless) brothers. You know, the ones who see the signs but fail to recognize them, or just plain refuse to see them, those ones who choose to live in denial. And trust me, they're many.

 But first, I'll briefly respond to this guy's letter.
She goes on dates with you when she's bored and has nothing better to do. 
She runs scared every time you try to initiate a relationship, because, errr, she's just not that into you!
 (We women don't play mehn! We see something we want, we go for it. 
Now you've heard she's in a relationship? Of course. LASTMA!
You think she feels ok dating someone she feels less intensity for? Hahahohoha. I laugh in Greek. 
You want an answer to your last question, look at the topic of this post!

So for my brothers out there living in limbo, the friend zone, "she loves me too much, she's 'scared-ville' ", I'm doing this for you. Let this be my contribution to humanity for the day. 

1) Her Text Messages To You Are Short, One-Word Responses:
This is an easy one. You’re sending long text message sonnets to the lady you are trying to date, and all you’re getting back is ‘hey,’ ‘sure,’ ‘cool,’ and ‘okay’ type responses? Yeah, she’s just not interested in you, bro.

2) If It Takes Her More Than A Day To Respond to Your Missed Calls, Text, Email, Tweet, etc:
The attention span of women and men in Generation-Y is that of a buzzing gnat. More than 24 hours to respond to your social inquiry means that she is more than capable of going a day without contacting you. And do you really want to deal with a girl who isn’t thinking about you in the first place?

3) She Cancels Your Date At The Very Last Minute:
Another telltale sign… If she cancels last minute, like literally forty minutes before your date is supposed to start, it means she’s not as into you as you thought she was. Women can come up with all the excuses in the world, but after asking a few friends, even myself, the most common answer is "the only real reason behind this behavior is that hanging out with him just isn't a top propriety for me.” Word. We may have seemed excited when we were making the plans but trust me, the moment something better presents itself, YOU'RE HISTORY! At least until the next time we're bored. 

4) She Mentions Her Ex-Boyfriend To You On More Than Two Occasions In A One Week-Time Frame:
She’s thinking about her ex, dude. It means she isn’t thinking about you.

5) She Isn’t Comfortable Talking About Sex In Front Of You… Whether You Are A Third Party Or Not:
Listen guys, talking about sex should not be an off-limits topic with a woman you are involved with. If this is not a conversation starter for you or the girl in your life, then it is a conversation ender. It means she doesn’t like that.

6) She Only Returns Your Phone Calls When She Needs Something:
The only time you are having your phone calls or text messages returned is when she’s asking for a favor? Well then, in her eyes that's all you're good for. 

7) She Makes You Hold Her Purse In Public:
Again… you are in the friend zone (or you’re just another pussy-whipped guy). This may not always be the case but it often is. Personally when I'm dating a guy, I respect him as THE MAN. I ask him to hold my purse/bag ONLY if I really need him to. 

8) She’s Less Than Enthusiastic When You Do Call:
How does she act when you call? Does she give you the big and happy “Hello (insert your name here)!!!,” or does she say something like “You woke me up” and then goes silent as a stone? Yeah, not a good sign. When there's a guy in a lady's life who gives her butterflies in her belly, trust me, even if he wakes her up in the middle of the sweetest dreams, even though she was in the middle of some much needed sleep after a long hard day, she will be pleased, at least to hear from you. When she answers your call you can hear the excitement in her voice!

9) She Doesn't Make An Effort:
We women like to look good for the men we're with, or want to be with. We like to be appreciated. We like to look good. We like to have his undivided attention. We want him to not be able to take his eyes off us. We want him to want to show us off. We go the extra mile to look nice when we're with him. If she doesn't make an effort when she's with you, she doesn't think you're worth the effort!

10) She Doesn't Notice When You Don't Call:
Women like it when a guy they like calls often (not too often though). Even if its just to say Hi. When we don't hear from that special guy, we notice, we WANT to hear from him. We want him to call, to text, to ping! And when he doesn't trust me, it's not a pleasant feeling. If you haven't called a lady you like in some days and she hasn't called to find out if you got hit by a bus or something, and when you finally do call, she doesn't seem at all bothered that she hasn't heard from you, then you are on a long thing!

11) She Tries To Hook You Up With Her Friend:
Please don't be like the guy in the letter and deceive yourself that she feels too much intensity when she's with you. That's self-deceit. If she's trying to hook you up with some one else its because she's just not interested in being with you. We don't pass up on something we want. We grab it with both hands! If anything, we do not even want you to meet our friends before your eyes begin to wander. 

Remember, men, you’ve been warned. 
Is there anything I forgot to add or I should not have added, ladies please let's hear your thoughts. Gentlemen, I look forward to hearing from you too. 

Photo Credit: an excerpt from a letter sent to Stella Dimoko Korkus' blog. 


  1. LMAO! Tell 'em Thelma!

  2. Ok. a follow up to Kissing 101? Nice. lol

  3. Every guy needs to read this. So on point. but don't tell them all out secrets abeg. some of them make life easier for us. LOL

  4. @ She only returns your phone call when she needs something. Very typical.

  5. I couldn't have put it better myself. Bravo!!

  6. LOL. Guys you've heard abi? Some men really are just very clueless.

  7. some people, male and females are just olodos and will continue to be olodos. you see ann the signs and you say she feels too much intensity. Ode

  8. some people, male and females are just olodos and will continue to be olodos. you see ann the signs and you say she feels too much intensity. Ode

  9. Nice but I don't agree with the bag holding part. I offer to hold my girl's bag when she seems tired and she also told me she loves when I do that cos it's a sign to other ladies that wer together and there is no shance for shancing. Meanwhile you should write the "he's just not that into you" then I can really contribute


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