The festive season is over! *tongue out* and a lot of us committed Christmas Crimes ( See here ). Goodbye flat belly, hello muffin top. Sad situation really.
I know. I know I encouraged a pinch of self-delusion ( See here ), but sweethearts, there comes a time in a person's life when you have to face reality, and tell yourself some truths. But for those of us that are still unsure as to whether we've gotten to that point, I'm here to help you out. Leggo!
You need to hit the gym ASAP:
1) When you go to the bank and you enter the security door but it doesn't open for you to come out because the door is meant for "only one person at a time". See someone's comment below
2) When you go to parties/church and you need to heap one plastic chair on another otherwise the legs begin to shake if you sit on only one.
3) You're the last person people want to sit beside in a bus.
4) You're sometimes made to pay for two seats in a bus.
5) You go into a boutique and the minute you enter they tell you they don't have your size.
6) When you get on a bike the okada man keeps looking down at the tires to check if they're flat, while constantly grumbling to himself.
7) Your favorite sex position is missionary and doggy.
8) When you go to yaba market the traders shout "my size".
9) Your boo who used to tell you "I like them big" when you first started dating now tells you you're too big!
10) You feel guilty when you're eating, even if no one is watching you.
11) When someone's bed has snapped the minute you got in it.
12) You insist on making love with the lights off.
13) Your age mates and elders address you as Ma/Sir when they first meet you.
To be safe, please do not wait till you get to this point. Save yourself while you can! Just kidding, no one is beyond salvation. Let's try to live healthier in 2014, regardless of what the scale says... So help me God.