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Help! My Boyfriend's Female Bestie Could Be A Threat!

I'm so confused Thelma. My boyfriend tells me he loves me but he doesn't discuss me with his friends(he says he and d guys don't discuss girls), he always rambles on and on abt his female bestie tho he's told me countless times there's nothing between them. They often go out tho he claims that's because of their proximity. He's told me to trust him but my instincts tell me otherwise. Thelma pls give me advice. Xoxo

I don't know your boo but one thing I can tell you for certain is this, guys discuss girls. 70% percent of the time, at least. It's usually girls and soccer! And if you're not one of the girls your boo is talking about then it makes me wonder. 

     As per female bestie, that's a very dangerous situation. That is a red flag! I've been close to a lot of guys and when one who has a girlfriend has spent more time with me than her, talks about me more than her, talks to me more than her, then it's because he wants to be with me not her. 
      I'll also tell you something I've learnt from these same guys that I was besties with, when they got a girlfriend that they truly liked/loved, one that they were serious about, they reduced their communication with me, I stopped seeing them as often as I used to before and stopped hearing from them. I was made to understand that there's someone important in their lives. And even if they still wanted to spend time with me, out of respect for her, they didn't. 
     Now, I'm not asking you to break up with him, I'm just asking you to evaluate your relationship dispassionately, look at it as if you're judging someone else's. Then make your decisions and act accordingly.

    I also remember something my friend said some years back, about a guy I was very close to when he got a girlfriend. She said "why are you and *Seun still so close, forming besties? If I was *Ella I would nip it (our friendship) in the bud".   Ella was Seun's girlfriend (now his wife). 

Blog Readers what would you advice her to do?


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Speaking from expereince,I had a guy bestie as a single girl. Anytime he had a girlfriend he truly like, he would talk so much about her, even wen they had issues.and we didn't get to see that much! But wen he had a girl he was just using to pass time, he would barely speak about her. This one u say he was talking about his bestie I think he likes her. Let him no u don't like it my dear. If he truly likes u he will stop it. And he will reduce d amount of time he spends wiv her.
    That him bestie sef no get bobo?

  3. My dear Tokoni, d bf says she get her own bobo buh the most confusing part is no one knows we are dating! When I asked y, he said he cannot broadcast what anybody ddnt ask him but that I'm free to tell anyone. Is this normal or what? P.S; Thelma, I'm sorry if this issue might seem retarded. I just want to know and do the right thing. Xoxo.

    1. Apooo!!! No one knows u guys r dating????? My dear poster that guy is using u to pass time! Fromd way u sound it seems u r falling for d guy . My dear carry ur shape out of that relationship before u end up wiv ur fingers burnt.

    2. As long as thr is no sex in d rship u ve nothing to worry abt, once u sleep with him, u ll be at d receivin end. If u ve done dat already, please stop and watch his reaction, tell him u want to build ur friendship first.

  4. Dear poster, do you have relationship with this "bestie"? Are you girls friends? My personal opinion is that ur boo is not in love with you. he may not be cheating but I don't think he's in love with you.

  5. U r right thelma, I couldn't av advise her better..

  6. Besties are harmless except in these two situations, when they are single or when they like your bf in that way because unless your bf is madly in love with you hel tend to listen more to what the bestie says than to you, in this case I don't think he's in love talk less of madly.
    Oh sorry, there's a third situation. Funny it's the most scary, if she's madly attractive. Pele dear

  7. Yawns...u already know what the truth is,why delude urself?

  8. sighh..these guys that have besties uhhmm why don't they date? you are best friends but you cannot date each other ? You clearly are not comfortable with everything so leave that man and his "best friend" and a man that wants to make you his best friend will come along :)

  9. my dear girl, use your tongue to count your teeth and move on.


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