Skip to main content

Help! My Boyfriend's Female Bestie Could Be A Threat!



I'm so confused Thelma. My boyfriend tells me he loves me but he doesn't discuss me with his friends(he says he and d guys don't discuss girls), he always rambles on and on abt his female bestie tho he's told me countless times there's nothing between them. They often go out tho he claims that's because of their proximity. He's told me to trust him but my instincts tell me otherwise. Thelma pls give me advice. Xoxo


I don't know your boo but one thing I can tell you for certain is this, guys discuss girls. 70% percent of the time, at least. It's usually girls and soccer! And if you're not one of the girls your boo is talking about then it makes me wonder. 

     As per female bestie, that's a very dangerous situation. That is a red flag! I've been close to a lot of guys and when one who has a girlfriend has spent more time with me than her, talks about me more than her, talks to me more than her, then it's because he wants to be with me not her. 
      I'll also tell you something I've learnt from these same guys that I was besties with, when they got a girlfriend that they truly liked/loved, one that they were serious about, they reduced their communication with me, I stopped seeing them as often as I used to before and stopped hearing from them. I was made to understand that there's someone important in their lives. And even if they still wanted to spend time with me, out of respect for her, they didn't. 
     Now, I'm not asking you to break up with him, I'm just asking you to evaluate your relationship dispassionately, look at it as if you're judging someone else's. Then make your decisions and act accordingly.

    I also remember something my friend said some years back, about a guy I was very close to when he got a girlfriend. She said "why are you and *Seun still so close, forming besties? If I was *Ella I would nip it (our friendship) in the bud".   Ella was Seun's girlfriend (now his wife). 
    

Blog Readers what would you advice her to do?

Comments

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Speaking from expereince,I had a guy bestie as a single girl. Anytime he had a girlfriend he truly like, he would talk so much about her, even wen they had issues.and we didn't get to see that much! But wen he had a girl he was just using to pass time, he would barely speak about her. This one u say he was talking about his bestie I think he likes her. Let him no u don't like it my dear. If he truly likes u he will stop it. And he will reduce d amount of time he spends wiv her.
    That him bestie sef no get bobo?

    ReplyDelete
  3. My dear Tokoni, d bf says she get her own bobo buh the most confusing part is no one knows we are dating! When I asked y, he said he cannot broadcast what anybody ddnt ask him but that I'm free to tell anyone. Is this normal or what? P.S; Thelma, I'm sorry if this issue might seem retarded. I just want to know and do the right thing. Xoxo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apooo!!! No one knows u guys r dating????? My dear poster that guy is using u to pass time! Fromd way u sound it seems u r falling for d guy . My dear carry ur shape out of that relationship before u end up wiv ur fingers burnt.

      Delete
    2. As long as thr is no sex in d rship u ve nothing to worry abt, once u sleep with him, u ll be at d receivin end. If u ve done dat already, please stop and watch his reaction, tell him u want to build ur friendship first.

      Delete
  4. Dear poster, do you have relationship with this "bestie"? Are you girls friends? My personal opinion is that ur boo is not in love with you. he may not be cheating but I don't think he's in love with you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. U r right thelma, I couldn't av advise her better..

    ReplyDelete
  6. Besties are harmless except in these two situations, when they are single or when they like your bf in that way because unless your bf is madly in love with you hel tend to listen more to what the bestie says than to you, in this case I don't think he's in love talk less of madly.
    Oh sorry, there's a third situation. Funny it's the most scary, if she's madly attractive. Pele dear

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yawns...u already know what the truth is,why delude urself?

    ReplyDelete
  8. sighh..these guys that have besties uhhmm why don't they date? you are best friends but you cannot date each other ? You clearly are not comfortable with everything so leave that man and his "best friend" and a man that wants to make you his best friend will come along :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. my dear girl, use your tongue to count your teeth and move on.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

One More Post...

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa

Giveaway Finale!

Happy Sunday y'all. 
This is the conclusive part of #WCG. 
All the N25,000 recipients have received their cash.
All the students have also received their N10,000. 
Once again guys please comment under any of the posts, or this one that you've received your money. Thanks. 

So moving forward, this final giveaway contains 
1. N10,000 for 5 people. 

2. 3 kimonos from Julian's dressmakers. 
3. 3 pairs of Palm slippers from WaleOnibata. (Gents) 
4. 2 pairs of shoes from Courtney's Closet. (Ladies. Size 9 and Size 11). 

5. 1 human hair wig from Gabby's Wigs'n'Weaves. You pick from one of the wigs below. 
6. 3 cakes from CakesandCream 

7. A getaway at CitiHeight Hotel Ikeja for 3 people. (Who can each bring one person along).  


As I said earlier, Kon has already won a stay at CitiHeight and Clare, a kimono. So those gifts are now available for 2 people each. 
There is no competition. We are only going to play a game. 
I have each gift item listed out in numbers. Number 1 to 100. …