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How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days

This is my new version of how to lose a guy in ten days.

Day One: 24 hours after your first date, add him to all of your social media accounts: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google+, etc. Start “liking” every single post. Comment on these posts with a plethora of emoticons.  Comments should consist of things like: “OMG I love this!” and “I just knew we were meant to be!". Also, start adding a bunch of his friends to your social media accounts. This last step is very important.

Day Two: Start texting his phone every 30 minutes. Texts should be short, annoying, and unimportant. Examples: “I hate traffic, how about you?” and “I hate having to pee at work.”  Also, sending selfies with the dreaded Duck Face and annoying pouts are also recommended.

Day Three: Grab his iPod and delete all of his songs and playlists, or remove the CD in his car and replace it with a new one. Add a bunch of tracks that you know he’d find annoying. On his iPod create playlists with titles such as, “Our Favourite Songs”, “Songs That Remind Me of You”. If you really want to screw it up, add a playlist with the title, “Songs for Our Wedding Day.” Once he gets into his car and presses Play, he’ll be sure to get mad. And when he gets on the treadmill on turns on that iPod he'll be sure to lose it!

Day Four: Set up a blog about your “relationship”. Start blogging every little thing about your relationship. In detail. To take it one step further, use his real name. You should also write intense lovey-dovey poems. While you’re at it, tell all his friends and colleagues about your new blog, tell them "we have a new blog" and be sure to give them the URL. 

Day Five: (If he hasn't run away by now!) Date night at either your residence or his residence. Turn on Real Housewives of Whatever and tell him you love all of the characters and tell him you aspire to become a Real Housewife. Next level: turn on The Bachelor or Say Yes to the Dress. Act like you can’t live without these shows, and emphasize that you love romantic reality TV.

Day Six: Create a YouTube video. The video can either be a compilation of all his photos, or a combination of your photos and his. Add a Michael Bolton song in the background. Then, start sharing the video. Post it on his feeds and tag him.

Day Seven: Date Night. During the entire date, do not put your phone down. Also, bring a tablet and start playing Candy Crush Saga. To end the night, be glued to Instagram and make sure you show him every picture of all the celebrities and talk in detail about their dresses and shoes. 

Day Eight: Change your relationship status on all of your social media accounts to “in a relationship”. If it's on Facebook you should include his name. Then, question him incessantly as to why he hasn’t done the same.

Day Nine: Get access to his laptop or phone. Bookmark a porn site. Then, throw a tantrum that he watches porn. Make a really big deal out of it. Start crying and tell him that he certainly isn’t “The One”. Then start posting a bunch of really annoying mantras on social media. Example: “If he can’t handle me at my worst, then he doesn’t deserve me at my best.” This will absolutely end the “relationship”. 

Day Ten: Search through his phone for his mum's number. First send her a text with wishes and prayers. Then call her and introduce yourself as her son's fiancé. Be sure to address her as mummy and tell her you can't wait to give her grandchildren. 

Hehehe. If a guy stays with you after all this then he's either a psychopath, a sociopath, a serial killer, or he's truly in love with you.....

(Inspired by a similar post in the Thought Catalogue)


  1. OMG! Tee you are wicked oooo. What guy can withstand all these? For me there is no need for all the drama,just tell him straight up it won't work. Nice blog u got keep it up.

  2. LMAO! Guys of today? by day 3 he would have run away sef.

  3. After Day 1 you won't even see or hear from the guy again. no need for day 2-10. lol. Nice one.

  4. The only reason is if he's a serial killer and you're the one he wants to kill

  5. Day one, she has to calm down after day one. Most guys don't like that kind of Social Media exposure after....24 hours??? Meehn, she must calm down o. #memoher. LOL

  6. Ok. I hear you aunty

  7. I won't give up till I knack her sha, we'll see who's boss like it happened in d movie

    1. LMAO. Na wa for you o!

  8. Lol, had me in stitches. This is more than enough to drive any man away

  9. LOL after day2 max, he won't pick your calls again..... First time commenting here. You've got a nice blog.

    1. Thanks Princess Charming. I appreciate you commenting.

  10. Mehn even if he's not a serial killer he wld become 1 after Day 4 @ d most! N u'll most def b d 1 he wants 2 kill; as often a possible! Dis is wicked! *bbm devil smile* now off 2 find sm1 1 use dis on* Ziggy

  11. Lmao....wikid! Am sure we won't get past day one.


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