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Ladies, Are You Pushing Men Away?

So I told you guys about Marni, my wing girl before, right? She told me about getting guys to approach me which I shared with you guys. In case you didn't see it look Here

So Marni thinks there's a possibility I may be pushing guys away and I'll share with you guys too. 

Hey Thelma,
So many women I know complain about not being
able to find "the right guy"...
But you know what?
A lot of "those" women act in ways that actually turn
men OFF.
I'll be the first to admit that I've been guilty of a few of
these repelling behaviors...but once I found out what
they were and worked to get RID OF THEM...I finally
met and married the love of my life :-)
Here are a couple of reasons I'VE seen plaguing
women that is stopping them from having successful,

"romantic comedy" style dating lives and what you
can do to start attracting the man YOU want tonight:
1. You May Not Be Approachable - No man, even the
confident ones want to approach a grouchy, angry
If you want men to approach you than you have to be
open to being approached. Sit up straight, make eye
contact, smile and be open to those around you. 
You may think it's super easy for men to just randomly
approach a woman they want and put their EGO out
there to possibly be treaded on BUT it's not. Men get
freaked out too and are just as nervous about being
rejected as you are.  So make it easier for them.  
Smile their way, approach them or even start the
2.. You Wanna Date The DHL Man??? -
Unless you want to date your delivery man,
sitting on the couch waiting for your prince in shining
armor to magically appear is never going to work for
Dating, especially when past the schooling age,
requires a little bit of effort. Whether it's going to a
singles mixer, dating online, throwing dinner parties or
asking your friends to "HOOK A SISTER UP" these
things need to be part of your weekly dating routine or
it's going to be even tougher to find the right man. 
3. Men can't read your signs - The 2nd biggest
question I get from men is what the hell does it mean
when a woman does X??? 
Men cannot read our subtle signals.  They can follow
clear, direct instructions like a champ but subtle
female signs are completely confusing to them.  
4. YOU can approach men too - I know, I know
women want to be courted blah blah blah. BUT you're
probably missing out on meeting amazing men
because your waiting for their chivalirous butts to
make a move.  
It's 2014 and women of this time have every right to
approach a man without taking away from their
If you approach a man like a woman then you won't
let opportunities pass you by and there will be no
reason to kick yourself later for not talking to that guy
you were hoping would approach you all night. 
Eliminating just ONE of these man-repellants will
result in finding even more quality men that YOU
want.  Which means no more waiting around
wondering why you're not meeting guys, and
especially no more attracting the weird creepy
ones ;-)


I would have to say I agree with Marni on this one. (I don't always agree with her). Sitting down at home and expecting Prince Charming to come and meet us is very unlikely to happen. These days YOU have to make an effort. 
      Regarding approaching men, in the last post a lot of you guys didn't agree. But I actually do. I think its success lies in the manner in which you do it. But one point I must make is that if the guy appears completely uninterested in you, then my darling, please keep it moving. Do not approach him o! Your pride would be bruised. 
      I hope this helped someone. 


  1. I cannot o! I just cannot approach a guy. there's nothing you or anyone can tell me.

  2. sighh..trying to date when you are out of school and in a different city can be stressful i tell you.. Don't even mention church because my family and I are the only blacks who come on time for mass and leave as soon as it's end. I mean, I would love to go out to meet people but I don't know anyone here and the only girl I know is glued to her home smh.I do plan on returning to school in september so hopefully I will get new friends and meet a special someone ;)

  3. Yes. Many women are not approachable. you build a wall around yourself and then complain when no one comes up to you. you need to learn to ease up and smile.

  4. Marni forgot to mention the mob factor, some girls surround themselves with plenty friends and no matter how hot you are only a crazy super confident guy will approach you in that situation. Hint: when u get a guy to finally approach you please do not be all over him, you'll make him wish he didn't


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Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
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He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

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him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
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A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


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