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Ladies, Get Him To Approach You!

Yay!!! I've got a fantastic new Wing Girl called Marni. She occasionally gives me tips on stuff concerning men and relationships. Some are really good and I'll be sharing them with you guys, for those who are interested. 

Thelma, don't you wish the men you wanted would just approach you??!!! 
Trust me, we all do.
But most men don't work like that. At least not the good ones.
I have spent the last decade working with some of the most incredible men. Men with great jobs, great friends, great family, passion for life. Men who are freakin awesome. 
And you know what the 1 thing was that they all had in common? None of them approached the women they wanted simply because they did not know if they should.

Now I have advised many men to not wait for permission to go after what they want and told them the only sign that they need is that sign in their own head saying "she's cute I want to talk to her".
But there are still so many that don't get this and miss out on approaching great women because they're too busy looking for signs she's interested. 

Which means, that you are missing out on solid men every day without knowing it.

Great men are passing you by, not approaching you, simply because they don't think you want to be approached. Or bothered, as many men say to me. 

So what you can you start doing right now to capitalize on this new knowledge that I shared with you?
You can make it easier for great men to approach you by helping them know you want to be approached. 
Or if you wanna get really gutsy, you can approach the men you want. 

From now on when you are out and about or at a bar, a coffee shop, the super market - ANYWHERE – be open. Smile, keep your head up, don’t cross your arms, and say hi to everyone. If you look more approachable, men will approach you. If you see a guy that you find cute, smile coyly at him and if he doesn’t approach you, approach him and say hi.

I have one cute story to share about my sister in law. My sister in law is awesome. She’s super cute, totally chatty and an amazing mother. So naturally her friends want to set her up with any single guy friends they have. So my sister in law went on a date with a guy that she has met through her friends and met once before. 20 minutes into the date she excused herself from the table and called me from the washroom. She told me that the guy she was on a date with would not shut up and she was upset because he was so cute but the chatty kathy routine and not letting her talk was turning her off. She asked me what she could do to get him to be quite.
I told her a little secret about men that most women don’t know. Men get nervous too! And what they do when they get nervous is they try to avoid silences because for them, silences signal bored or not going well. So I told her to go back to the table and when he starts talking, she can touch his arm gently for 1 – 2 seconds and he will calm down immediately. My sister in law called me 4 hours later and said “your voodoo magic worked” he calmed down and we had a great time.

Men are not as subtle as us, so the little things we do to signal “I like you” or “I’m having fun” totally go over their head. Plus, when they are so focused on making you happy they tend to forget on actually connecting. If you can help a brother out and not so subtly signal “I’m here too and I’m having a good time” it will calm him down immediately so that his best side can shine. Trust me, you’ll get a lot out of man who is calm and confident you are enjoying yourself.

So you can:
1. Touch him
2. Make warm eye contact
3. Use your words to tell him what you think

Easy right!!! Leave the subtle signals for your girlfriend because men are never going to pick them up!

I could totally relate with everything that Marni told me as I've been described as "intimidating" and "difficult to approach" so I was grateful for her tips. BUT I'm not so sure about walking up to a guy and chatting him up. Do you think this is a good idea? Ladies have you tried it before? And Guys, what do you think of a woman that walks up to you and does the "toasting"? Is that a turn on or a turn off? 


  1. I haven't and I don't think I can!guys can be funny u know

  2. exactly! I mean, I have seen guys I fancy but to walk up to them ? ahh my stammering will know no bound lol nervous wreck!! one can only hope he comes close LOL. I agree with some of the pointers here like smiling, saying hi, and not crossing your arms because I do that a lot.

  3. I don't condemned ladies who do dat but i won't cos I av got pride; hate been treated like a pest or embarrashed. Let me not say too much cos I never can tell.
    Seems some guys these days doesn't take it as a big deal sha cos av heard some saying that.

  4. Hi this is my 1st time here and I feel you're doing a good job. If you must know I came here as a result of the comment u made on Stella dimoko...'s topic confession in relationships.
    Back to the topic ur pal said it all well but I disagree d fact of approaching a guy, cos not all guys are matured enough to handle that and some may throw it back at your face later.

  5. Whatever u do,pls don't approach a guy,ladies have cheapened themselves enuff as it is,call me old school,but approaching a guy is jumping on the band wagon of cheapness,forget all that I'm only being friendly and maybe he'l get the sign,if a guy wants u he'l walk up to u,this isn't the 80's,guys these days are more courageous, imagine an 8year old boy pickn up ma fone and trying to transfer credit into it,he checked ma balance and saw 200naira,his own fone had over 10,000 naira credit,and he felt sending credit to me will make it easier to get my attention,when I asked him what he was doing cus I thot he was playing games on ma fone and I didn't want him running down ma ba3,he said it ho ha,I think ure beautiful and I like u and I need ur number to send u credits,his cousin I was wiv grabbed this little boy's fone and showed me his say I was stunned is an understatement,if u don't believe me,come to asokoro and ur eyes will be opened to the lifestyle of this generation of guys.approaching a Guy may work for some but for me o,I won't advise it,besides I jumped on that stupid bandwagon once,told a guy how I felt,I jumped right off after feeling like the world's biggest fool,mtscheew,never again

  6. I think guys are suspicious of girls who approach them. It's like "something must be wrong with her". Be willing to bear the consequences if u try it. Subtlety, is best. Tell his friend or sister u like him etc. One girl told my hubby he was cute while he was single. Ol boy ran like he was in danger. Lol .

  7. Priceless advise but I think it should end at making yourself approachable. In my case the chase is the thrill and once a girl approaches me I instantly lose interest because there's no thrill left. However there was this one time a girl told me she thought I was cute and asked if she could get my pin, I told her thanks and gave it to her but I wasn't interested anymore. Then we started chatting and I found out that she's a really great person and we ended up dating, I'm still grateful she decided to go against the norm and be brave.

  8. Love the write up!! I actually did the calling of my boo the first time cos the one who hooked us up insisted he does the calling which he was procrastinating. I hit the dail button after 2 weeks of waiting and bingo here we all lovey dovey and i always tease him i did "toasted" him. But trust me, it takes a very open minded african man to accept such.


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