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Stop Embarrassing Yourself! (8 Signs He Doesn't Send You)

First off let me say this, in matters like this YOU already know the truth, you have all the answers but you're in denial. You hope you're wrong while willing him to reciprocate those feelings you have for him. Well guess what, it's unlikely he would. So I'm going to lay it down for you easy. Trust me, I should know. A guy definitely does not send you, or is not into you (if you prefer American parlance) if these sound familiar. 

1. You pick your phone to send a text to him and spend some thirty minutes trying to 
compose the perfect text, you try to find the right words so that you don't come off as desperate (which you actually are) while still creating room for possibilities, so that you could get the desired response.

You edit this message about five or six times before you're satisfied. You fiddle with your phone before you press that send button and when you 
finally do, you're on edge. You are literally on edge, sitting at the edge of your sofa waiting for a reply you know won't come right away.   Eventually after an hour or so you get a reply. And it's something like k, kk, aii, no p, yea. WTF is yea! The carelessly tossed out reply to your modern piece of literature makes you want to cry! He couldn't even take the time to add an h! And that's if he bothers to reply...

2. It's easiest to know from his phone attitude with you. If he doesn't have an interest in you, he won't be interested in talking to you. Yeah guys say they're not up for the long phone convos but this guy never calls you. Ever. Well... only when he wants a hook up. 

3. Speaking of hook ups that's the only time and place you guys get to see. In his bedroom, or yours. A guy that "sends" you would want to GO ON DATES with you. He wants to show you off, take you out, spend time with you, understand the inner workings of your mind while also trying to please you. Trust me if he doesn't do this then it's because he doesn't think you're worth the effort. Nothing you do can change this. 

4. When you finally get him to take you out (I know some extremely stubborn babes that can do this, yours truly hasn't got the time or energy) he doesn't bother to introduce you to his friends. And if he does, it's very impersonal and offhanded. Like he's almost trying to
dissociate from you. You realize you do not even know his friends!

5. None of his friends know you. Now let me break it down for you ladies, this is one of the easiest ways to know if a guy likes you or not. If his friends haven't heard about you and you've been with him for about a month, then it's very unlikely that he likes you. Guys talk! On the other hand, if they meet you and they're like "Oh, is this Tola? Finally!" then Tola can rest easy, he does like her.

6. Ladies if you're with a guy who makes you feel that he's doing you a favour by being with you or spending time with you, he's not into you at all!

7. He's not trying to get to know you better and avoids those conversations. He isn't asking you questions about you, your life and what you want then he really doesn't care to know you. He might be sleeping with you but he doesn't really know anything about you. (My friend had been regularly sleeping with some guy for over a year and she really really liked him. At some point he lost his phone and when he got horny enough to remember her he went to Facebook to look for her but guess what, he didn't even know her surname!)

8. This is the most obvious. It's also the one we most often ignore or refuse to accept and understand. If this guy isn't making any active measures to be in your life, if he's not making any real/physical effort to get to know more about you or to spend time with you or to generally be a part of your life, then please stop embarrassing yourself and get a move on. 


  1. Yes so true....thanks Thelma

  2. This is so on point. lol @ stop embarrassing yourself.

  3. D first point is soooo on point,it takes research to put dis together,weldone thelma,u knw u rock right?

  4. Seriously, every single girl needs to read this. Stop embarrassing yourselves bichez!

  5. This came at the right time. They say if a man really loves you he will pursue you.

  6. So true...sad but true....most girls go tru this on a daily...its what I can obsession...

  7. Thelma this is completely on point. most of us know this but we no dey hear word.

  8. I'm so confused Thelma. My boyfriend tells me he loves me but he doesn't discuss me with his friends(he says he and d guys don't discuss girls), he always rambles on and on abt his female bestie tho he's told me countless times there's nothing between them. They often go out tho he claims that's because of their proximity. He's told me to trust him but my instincts tell me otherwise. Thelma pls give me advice. Xoxo

    1. I don't know your boo but one thing I can tell you for certain is this, guys discuss girls. 70% percent of the time, at least. It's usually soccer and girls! And if you're not one of the girls your boo is talking about then it makes me wonder.
      As per female bestie, that's a very dangerous situation. That is a red flag! I've been close to a lot of guys and when one who has a girlfriend has spent more time with me than her, talks about me more than her, talks to me more than her, then it's because they want to be with me not her. Simple. I'll also tell you something I've learnt from these same guys that I was besties with, when they got a girlfriend that they truly liked/loved, one that they were serious about, they reduced their communication with me, I stopped seeing them as often as I used to before and stopped hearing from them. I was made to understand that there's someone important in their lives. And even if they still wanted to spend time with me, out of respect for her, they didn't.
      Now, I'm not conclusively asking you to break up with him, I'm just asking you to evaluate your relationship dispassionately, look at it as if you're judging someone else's. Then make your decisions and act accordingly.

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    3. @ Anon, I will throw this open as a post so that you can hear from others, and hopefully from some guys so that you can get a guy's point of view.

  9. Thanks so much Thelma.

  10. Guys talk about girls more than we talk about money and soccer, so if a guy eventually takes you out and his friends ask if you're someone that you're not then it's just sex for him. Most of the time his friends won't make the mistake of calling a name cos somehow from the way he's acting around you they already know that you're not the one he's been telling them about so they just act polite.
    The most important thing is not to act desperate or smother him, cos there might be a point where he wants to take you more serious but you made him decide that he can't be with someone that's too clingy. Scarcity creates respect in some cases, don't always be at his beck and call and he might just realize that there's something that he misses about u, then he will be the one to look for u.
    Long story short, if it's not obvious that he worships you then you're wasting your time

  11. If your man is pushing you away and acting distant

    Or if the guy you’re after isn’t giving you the time of day...

    Then it’s time to pull out all the stops.

    Because 99% of the time, there is only 1 thing you can say to a standoffish guy that will grab him by the heartstrings-

    And get his blood pumping at just the thought of you.

    Insert subject line here and link it to: <=========> Your ex won’t be able to resist?

    Once you say this to him, or even send this simple phrase in a text message...

    It will flip his world upside down and you will suddenly find him chasing you-

    And even begging to be with you.

    Here’s what I’m talking about: <=========> Is your man hiding something? He may need your help?

    Thanks again.



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