Skip to main content

The Cane Used For The First Wife...

There's a Yoruba adage that says The cane that was used to beat the first wife is on the roof top for the second wife. My understanding of this adage is, succinctly put, Karma is a bit*h. 

I'm not going to talk about people's personal lives as I'm not a part of it so I won't get involved, nor do I have any desire to. However, I am curious about certain things and I would like us to discuss them, I need answers. 

Is the cane used for the first wife always used on the second? Is it possible to have a more fulfilling and happier marriage as a second wife than the first one did?
 Just a short while back, Adaora Ufondu's marriage to multi-millionaire, Emeka Offor, as his 3rd wife, made headlines and I kept on seeing this adage in the comments section. But sentiments apart, is it possible that 3rd time's the charm and she could be his "true love"? I know that sounds corny but just think about it....
     I heard a story of a man who had been married to his wife for about seven years. They had three children. The man began to have an affair with his secretary and his wife divorced him. The man got married to the secretary and they've been happily married for twenty three years. 
    So, stories like this make me think. 

My second question, and the reason for the picture above is what could such a woman be thinking?Let me put it in context. In 2012 the Yoruba actress, Bisi Ibidapo-Obe claimed she was pregnant for Dino Melaye and he denied it, they both created a messy situation and the media turned it into a circus. Now barely some months back his wife asks for a divorce citing spousal abuse, and even put out pictures to support her claims, she also asks for custody of her three children (whom "gist" says she's being denied by her husband). Now while this is still ongoing and the divorce isn't even final Dino is engaged to the buriful lady above, we hear the introduction is this week.

 I'm sure we've all heard similar stories. But what intrigues me is the mindset of this woman and others like her. Do they think
a) it would be different with them
b) the man loves them more than the others and therefore would treat them better
c) even if he treats them just as bad, "there are worse things in life"
d) they just don't care
e) the benefits far outweigh the negatives
 f) the struggle to be Mrs is real
 g) love conquers all 
I've run out of ideas. What do you guys think? Have you or someone you know been in this situation, how does it usually play out. And do you agree that Karma doesn't always show up?


  1. Hmmm. Thought provoking... I think its the benefits, and the struggle to be Mrs too. lol.

  2. I honestly wish I could tell you what goes on in their heads. but whatever the case is I will always believe that Karma is real. what goes around comes around.

  3. I think it is possible for a second marriage to be better than the first..don't ask me how though, my analogy though reasonable, is very long and I can't type it out......Suffice it to say that humans relate with each other differently and as such it is very possible for a subsequent marriage to be better, more fun, more enjoyable than a prior one.... I rest my

  4. @ gelo maybe you should tell us how. The idea is for us to learn more and understand better.

  5. My grand father's first marriage packed up because he and his wife were always fighting. But wen he married my grand ma, not one day did they have cause to xchange blows. But from wat I have read about this dino guy he is naturally a violent person. Apart from hitting his wife he fights in public so I am sure he will hit this his "angel" one day.

  6. I don't really have anything to say but sit back and watch the outcome..who knows maybe jes maybe this could be his missing rib..or otherwise.

  7. I think the first question to ask is why he left the previous wife, in a situation where he was nasty to her and she left him then the probability that the next wife will experience the same nastiness is quite high. But in a case where the previous wife gave him hell and he tried his best to tolerate her but couldn't then he's likely to meet a better woman that would make him happier than others.... There are other scenarios but I think that these are the majors. In the first scenario I honestly dunno what the new wife would be thinking because she'll definitely experience what the previous did, I've got a friend who is dating a guy that was married for less than a year, now she's complaining of being unhappy in the relationship and I asked her what made her think her own would be different, she didn't have a answer

  8. Karma always shows up, have no doubt about it.

  9. Its a case of Plan A and Plan B. So for example if Plan B was the death of Plan A's relationship then karma will show up but if Plan B is just the happily ever after story then oh well it was just a simple case of moving on to something better from a previously bad relationship.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Closed Chapter...

Hello everyone, yesterday a friend said to me, Thelma I love your blog, I've told so many people about your blog, I think you're a very good writer but I feel there's something you're not doing right"

This friend was the first person who won our beauty of the day contest back then in 2014. Then we had met just once through a mutual friend. I mentioned the blog to her and she became an instant reader. I wouldn't have exactly called her a friend then but yesterday as we sat down waiting for our Uber to come get us from Wal-Mart, she's definitely my friend and I knew she was coming from a good place when she said she had much higher expectations of my blog.

Me too.

But you see, in the last year or so, maybe even longer than that, I haven't felt much joy in blogging. It began to feel more and more of a laborious chore, one which I hardly reaped any fruits from.

I really love writing, I love sharing my life and my experiences with others and I've enjoy…

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa