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The Cane Used For The First Wife...

There's a Yoruba adage that says The cane that was used to beat the first wife is on the roof top for the second wife. My understanding of this adage is, succinctly put, Karma is a bit*h. 



I'm not going to talk about people's personal lives as I'm not a part of it so I won't get involved, nor do I have any desire to. However, I am curious about certain things and I would like us to discuss them, I need answers. 

Is the cane used for the first wife always used on the second? Is it possible to have a more fulfilling and happier marriage as a second wife than the first one did?
 Just a short while back, Adaora Ufondu's marriage to multi-millionaire, Emeka Offor, as his 3rd wife, made headlines and I kept on seeing this adage in the comments section. But sentiments apart, is it possible that 3rd time's the charm and she could be his "true love"? I know that sounds corny but just think about it....
     I heard a story of a man who had been married to his wife for about seven years. They had three children. The man began to have an affair with his secretary and his wife divorced him. The man got married to the secretary and they've been happily married for twenty three years. 
    So, stories like this make me think. 

My second question, and the reason for the picture above is what could such a woman be thinking?Let me put it in context. In 2012 the Yoruba actress, Bisi Ibidapo-Obe claimed she was pregnant for Dino Melaye and he denied it, they both created a messy situation and the media turned it into a circus. Now barely some months back his wife asks for a divorce citing spousal abuse, and even put out pictures to support her claims, she also asks for custody of her three children (whom "gist" says she's being denied by her husband). Now while this is still ongoing and the divorce isn't even final Dino is engaged to the buriful lady above, we hear the introduction is this week.

 I'm sure we've all heard similar stories. But what intrigues me is the mindset of this woman and others like her. Do they think
a) it would be different with them
b) the man loves them more than the others and therefore would treat them better
c) even if he treats them just as bad, "there are worse things in life"
d) they just don't care
e) the benefits far outweigh the negatives
 f) the struggle to be Mrs is real
 g) love conquers all 
  ???
I've run out of ideas. What do you guys think? Have you or someone you know been in this situation, how does it usually play out. And do you agree that Karma doesn't always show up?

Comments

  1. Hmmm. Thought provoking... I think its the benefits, and the struggle to be Mrs too. lol.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I honestly wish I could tell you what goes on in their heads. but whatever the case is I will always believe that Karma is real. what goes around comes around.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think it is possible for a second marriage to be better than the first..don't ask me how though, my analogy though reasonable, is very long and I can't type it out......Suffice it to say that humans relate with each other differently and as such it is very possible for a subsequent marriage to be better, more fun, more enjoyable than a prior one.... I rest my case....lol

    ReplyDelete
  4. @ gelo maybe you should tell us how. The idea is for us to learn more and understand better.

    ReplyDelete
  5. My grand father's first marriage packed up because he and his wife were always fighting. But wen he married my grand ma, not one day did they have cause to xchange blows. But from wat I have read about this dino guy he is naturally a violent person. Apart from hitting his wife he fights in public so I am sure he will hit this his "angel" one day.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I don't really have anything to say but sit back and watch the outcome..who knows maybe jes maybe this could be his missing rib..or otherwise.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think the first question to ask is why he left the previous wife, in a situation where he was nasty to her and she left him then the probability that the next wife will experience the same nastiness is quite high. But in a case where the previous wife gave him hell and he tried his best to tolerate her but couldn't then he's likely to meet a better woman that would make him happier than others.... There are other scenarios but I think that these are the majors. In the first scenario I honestly dunno what the new wife would be thinking because she'll definitely experience what the previous did, I've got a friend who is dating a guy that was married for less than a year, now she's complaining of being unhappy in the relationship and I asked her what made her think her own would be different, she didn't have a answer

    ReplyDelete
  8. Karma always shows up, have no doubt about it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Its a case of Plan A and Plan B. So for example if Plan B was the death of Plan A's relationship then karma will show up but if Plan B is just the happily ever after story then oh well it was just a simple case of moving on to something better from a previously bad relationship.

    ReplyDelete

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