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Showing posts from February, 2014

"There Is No Shame In Black Beauty" - Lupita Nyong'O

Lupita's speech is one of the most beautiful things I've read in a long time. I'm not anti-skin lightening but I'm pro-self love. For me this speech went beyond Dencia's Whitenicious and bleaching generally, but embracing one's self regardless of what might appear to you and others as flaws and imperfections..... and more importantly, working on your inner beauty. 

The Essence Black Women in Hollywood Luncheon held yesterday February 28 at The Beverly Hills Hotel in LA...and Oscar nominee Lupita Nyong'o was one of those honored at the event which had Oprah, Tyler Perry, Kerry Washington, Michael Ealy and many other black Hollywood heavyweights in attendance. 
Lupita's acceptance speech at Essence Black Women in Hollywood Luncheon : 
Thank you Alfre, for such an amazing, amazing introduction and celebration of my work. And thank you very much for inviting me to be a part of such an extraordinary community. I am surrounded by people who have inspired me, …

Help! She's About To Be Caught In A Web Of Her Own Lies. (No Job,NoLove)

Before I tell my friend's story, let's talk about this first. 
I don't know if this goes on everywhere, but I live in Lagos so I can only speak for Lagos. And I will narrow this down to the Island because this is where I see it happen most often. It's happened to me severally here and not once on the mainland (don't ask me why).        You go somewhere, anywhere; the mall, the movies, the club, the filling station, the ATM machine, church etc and you see this guy checking you out. He's obviously into you and you know for certain that he's definitely going to walk up to you and chat you up. As expected he does that and  the first words out of his mouth are ;

Top 10 Hottest Female Celebrities Over 40

You just have to admire those women who are like fine wine; the older they get the better they become. Some Nigerian women over the age of 40 could put some 20 yr olds to shame when they stand beside them.

These are my top ten hottest female celebrities of 40 in Nigeria (in no particular order).

1. Nike Osinowo

Beauty Of The Day- Ruby

Today's Beauty of The Day is blog visitor Ruby. Ruby is a graduate, who lives and works in Abuja as an- OAP- RayPower FM, Presenter- Peoples Parliament AIT, a writer and a thespian. 

Her beautiful pictures below

Photo Of The Day

Pastor Manning of The Blood of Jesus Atlah World Missionary Church, New York, had this to say;

LOL @ White homo.

I Want To Write.

Oh how desperately I want to write. But I try and then I stop. What's the point? There are killings going on right now. Boko Haram is striking with a vengeance, our government celebrates Centenary awards, our leaders, as usual "condemn" the killings while they sip champagne and enjoy the high life. I want to write but I blink and I'm filled with horror. The horror a child must have felt to wake up and see her hostel burning, the panic, fear and hopelessness at the realization that she's been locked in and there's no way out. The struggle in the defeat, the defeat in the struggle. The acceptance and resignation, death has come. Last night's worry was I haven't done my homework, a few hours later it's I never knew fire could hurt so much. 
I want to write but I can't so I switch on the TV, like a masochist I naturally gravitate to the news channels. Ukraine isn't done with their fighting, there's still bloodshed and killing everywhere. Ev…

About Last Night.... But First, My Rant!

Earlier this evening I went to the movies, as I usually do on Wednesdays, but first I stopped at Ebeano supermarket in Lekki Phase 1 to buy the popcorn. Have you guys eaten that popcorn? It's heavenly! Since that night I slept over at Henri's house and she offered me the popcorn and said "this is the best popcorn in lekki", I've been hooked. So it's my ritual now, no matter how late I'm running for my movie I must first grab this popcorn.       And while I waited on the queue I met the MAN OF MY DREAMS. I kid you not.

Gold-Digger or Go-Getter?

We all know who/what a gold-digger is. I'm using Go-Getter in the context of a lady who has really high standards of her ideal man and would neither settle for less nor apologize for it.

Late last year while on my way to the mall with a friend we began to have a very interesting conversation. This friend of mine is one of the very conservative ones, she's quiet, more introverted than I am and very reserved. So when she blurted out "Nwando I can never marry a poor man, in fact I cannot marry a man who isn't rich, or who I'm richer than" I was surprised to say the least. 

Are You Shy, Introverted, Extroverted or Just Plain Obnoxious ?

Most people don't realize that there's a difference between being shy and being introverted.  Likewise most people don't know that there's a thin line between being an extrovert and being just plain obnoxious. 
For those who care to know, this chat is a mild education. 

Hottie Of The Day- Victor Akinniyi

Today's hottie of the day is blog-visitor Victor Akinniyi.

He's really cute pictures below:

Virgin Blog-Visitor Is Eager To Know All About Sex!

"Biko wetin be kegels??? @ccccc i havent had sex before and rili cant wait, i think about it every second of the day, read up on stuffs online, examples and illustrations just to get equipped for the d day, butI'm  kinda scared i might not meet up to standard,lol Nne help a sisteh na!!

Lol. I had to make this a post. This is the comment of an anonymous blog visitor on the post The Art Of Seduction. This comment was made in response to a rather "interesting" comment by blog visitor; ccccc. See comment below :

Ask Me Anything. It's TMI Tuesday Babyyyyy!

I want to ask you too but most of my commenters are anonymous and I wouldn't even know where to begin. Ok, I'll just throw open my questions. Answer all or some...

What You Don't Know CAN Hurt You! (How Snooping Around Saved My Life)

I've always belonged to the school of thought that what you don't know won't hurt you, and I sometimes take it farther to "ignorance is bliss". By nature I don't like any form of wahala. Not going through my man's phone has never been a problem for me. In fact I have dated several guys but I
have only ever gone through the phone of one. My friends think I'm crazy when I say I don't ever go through my man's phones. The truth is I'm just not that "curious". I never go looking for things without reason, and I always ask, when you find something you don't like, what will do you? And when you go snooping YOU WILL ALWAYS FIND SOMETHING.
Seriously though, because you find out something and you scream and cry and go to blogs to whine about how he cheated and bla bla bla and yet you still go back to him, so what's the point? 
Errr, well there is a point. The few times I went through someone's phone I found something that was v…

"It's Like You're Still Being Selective, It's Like You Think You StillHave Time"

I've always been told, and believed that it's good to have standards. But Is it? I'm getting to the point where I'm not sure anymore. Some nights ago I got a call from my friend and after talking about a little bit of this and that she then tells me how some days ago she was at the market and a random
woman asked if she was married. She told the woman she isn't and the woman replied "hmmm, it's
like you're still being selective, it's like you think you still have time." . My friend freaked out and made a decision right on the spot. She said to me "Nwando I'm not waiting again, anybody that comes, as long as he treats me well I will marry him". Now people, this struck a cord.


Hello! I just dropped by to say I'll be right back. I'm not sure when though, could be tomorrow or next week. I've got some personal stuff I need to sort out and I'll be back once it's sorted. Hope you're having a good Sunday. 


Laters luvs.....

"You Don Port?" - By Charly Boy

This is a sequel to Charlyboy's write-up See Finish Syndrome and though I wonder if there's a point to this particular article besides pointing out that some people have "ported", I liked this read for its  entertainment value, and so I decided to share with those who haven't read this yet. 

When I published my piece about the death of desire in marriage/relationships (“See Finish Syndrome”) I didn't expect the kind of feedback I got on that matter, hummm see gobe! It was clear to me that the marriage institution in Nigeria is in a big problem. Ninety percent of the overwhelming phone calls and emails were from angry, lonely, disgruntled and confused wives. It was then it hit me that millions of homes and marriage relationships are going through a very bad patch, wives are growing very disenchanted with their husbands and their relationship. Before I did the piece (see finish) apart from experiencing it personally, I have heard and seen so much sadness in to…

Battle Of The Booty

Good Morning Y'all! You'll agree that the body of a curvaceous woman is a beautiful sight to behold. I woke up this morning thinking of curves and booty (whatever you choose to make of this is entirely your biznizz). Thus I did a compilation of the Nigerian celebs with the most bangin' curvaceous bodies (in my opinion).

Pictures below:

The Art Of Seduction....

I just heard someone say "he refused to get over me, he fails to understand that what we had was sex, just sex. Instead he went and fell in love with me. But I couldn't blame him though, I had mastered the  art of seduction".

Fatal Price. (Short Story)

I desperately wanted to cry, I squeezed my eyes tight but just like a rock, water wouldn't come out. Everyone stood watching me, thinking Mama-Nkechi must be in shock, unable to process her daughter's death, poor Mama-Nkechi. No, I wasn't in shock. I looked down at your beautiful face. You have always been beautiful, from the moment I first carried you in my arms when your cries rang out to the heavens, to when you became a young woman growing breasts, and when you entered the university; when you came home on holidays and everyone's heads turned whenever you walked by, till now. Now you are even more beautiful. Your skin; silky smooth like porcelain, full lips, perfectly set in a pout, your cheekbones, high and proud as ever, your hair still full with your beautiful widow's peak, your almond eyes are just as beautiful even though they are closed, never to open again. Yes, you are beautiful.
 I heard a loud wail and looked to Nkoli. She had been crying since the da…

The Morning After 2 (Friends-Lovers-Strangers)

He called me this morning, asked what I'm doing later, because it's been long since we hung out, as friends. 
It was a very stressful day at work. He sent me lunch, as a friend. 
He pings me at about 9pm, asking to come over and hang out at his place, as a friend.

We sit on the sofa, sipping warm chocolate. It's been so long since I've had someone to talk to. I tell him everything, how Kayode is engaged, barely two months after breaking up with me. He tries to console me, moves closer and hugs me, as a friend. 
His hug touches my heart. I didn't have any idea how much I'd been holding in inside. He feels my pain and hugs tighter. I let it all out and break down in tears. He lifts up my chin with his finger and kisses me gently on the lips, as a friend.

The Morning After....

"We became more than just friends. Where do we go from here, after the morning after I let you in, what's the next move to make...the morning after?"

Unfortunately we women are emotional, sentimental beings. The morning after you first have sex with someone, (unless you're a prostitute or you've had so much sex with so many partners that
you've become so desensitized) is fraught with so many worries, thoughts, fears, hopes and dread. I must first point that SEX CHANGES EVERYTHING. Don't buy that crap that it doesn't, it most certainly does.

The Island

I recently stumbled on a post from February 2013 on Bella Naija about a TV show called The Island. It's cast included Tolu ‘Toolz’ Oniru, Eku Edewor, Derin ‘DJ Caise’ Phillips, Rotimi ‘DJ Xclusive’ Alakija, Zainab Balogun, Venita “VeezeeBaybeh” Akpofure, Stephanie Coker and Tracy Nwapa.

From the Trailer and the write up it's apparently about the wealthy, elite, socialites, high life, aristo tinz etc on the Island in Lagos. Did anyone else know about this? It was slated to begin airing in "summer" of 2013, I guess that's August or September. I'm curious to know if anyone saw any of the episodes. Was I living under a rock last year?
More pictures below:

A Letter To My Darling Son On His 1st Birthday (Blog Visitor- OsayiOnunwor)

Dear Chiboso, I can't believe a year has gone by so fast.. This time last year you had just been born after 2 days of extreme painful labor and an eventual CS...but seeing you made the pain go away...I remember when they showed you to me I wanted to hold you so bad but I couldn't sit up...I felt so bad...then after a few hours you started crying because you were hungry, I told Aunt Efe to ask the nurses if I could sit up they laughed and said I could try, they came into the room and watched me get up...they all clapped and called me iron woman...what they didn't understand then was that I wasn't strong at all But your cry was all the motivation I needed...

Hottie Of The Day- Tomiwa Akegbejo-Samsons

Yes people, We Have Our First Hottie Of The Day! His name is Tomiwa Akegbejo-Samsons aka TAS. Tomiwa is a student of Federal University of Agriculture Abeokuta, comedian and  an aspiring Model. Next on his plan is making his comedy dream a reality. 

His pictures below:

Toolz' Thoughts : What's Your Selling Point?

Some years back someone shared these same principles in this post with me, and as I haven't written on it, I was glad (when someone else seemingly stole these words from my mind) to share them with you all. 

I stumbled across this book: ‘The Confident Woman’ by Joyce Meyer in my sister’s library and so far it has been an awesome read. There’s a particular paragraph that really resonated with me. I’m trying to be a better business-woman, so this bit of wisdom had perfect timing. Joyce wrote: Confident people do not concentrate on their weaknesses; they develop and maximize their strengths… … The world is not hungry for mediocrity’

Yay!!! It's An Awesome Life.

I'm excited this morning for no particular reason, but being alive to see another day fills me with so much joy and hope. I got a call early this morning that threatened to wipe the smile off my face but I was adamant about staying happy. Then as if some force really doesn't want me to smile, I got another call from him cancelling on me because he has to work tomorrow night. The thought of going for that occasion where everyone is coming with their significant others without him or anyone is a thought that really made me stop smiling for a moment. But I choose to stay happy and hopeful. Who knows, I might end up meeting someone who actually has time (for us) and doesn't have to work till 10pm everyday and then all through the weekend. Yes people, it's like dating a ghost or a figment of one's imagination! LOL.
       And being alone could give me the opportunity to do some networking, meet new people (the introvert in me is doing *yimu* right now. SMH) or just gen…

Men, Is This True?

LOL. Is this true?

Keeping Up With The Joneses, Packaging & Misplaced Priorities.

So I just heard the most ridiculous thing ever. Yeah, she just paid the rent for a duplex in Ikoyi, replete with a swimming pool and tennis court, the uniformed maids seem to have come with the house too but I'm quite certain they didn't. And then guess what? She's asking for a loan to pay the children's school fees? Hahahahaha. Ah, did I also add that they go to one of the very expensive ones, somewhere in Victoria Island. And no, not because the teaching there is notably better than others but, get this, because she wants the girls to have a higher social standing. After all was it not in school  that Kate Middleton met the Prince?

17yr Old Undergrad Murdered By Cultists For Being "Too Proud To BeRaped"

Have you guys heard about this? This is terribly heartbreaking.

Rest in Peace. Opeyemi Odusanya, a 300 level student at Bowen University was murdered
by cultists for allegedly rejecting sexual advances. 17-year old Odusanya was a Biochemistry student.
Punch who paints a clearer picture of the sad incident, reveals that the cultists in the area stabbed her to death at her parents’ home in Alakuko,  for “being too proud” to accept their sexual advances. The killing took place on February 3rd 2014.

....To Desperate Single Ladies Who Keep Claiming Unavailable Single MenAs Their "Husbands"

This is quite a lengthy read but it's very revealing and I think most single ladies need to read this.

Brother Unmarried walks into the church, goes into the balcony and sits in a certain spot.Several unmarried women notice him at the same time but none say anything. The women in question are Sister Blue Shoes, Sister Black Shoes, Sister Red Shoes, and Sister High Heels. All are single, over 25 and quite available and hopeful for a husband.The next week they look up and notice him again. The brother is alone again---, and no ring on his left finger. And he's not bad to look at either. On top of that, he's toting a bible that looks quite worn. He must be serious about the Lord!Week three, he appears again, Bible in hand, eyes focused on the pastor.Week four.......he must be a new member of the church and he sits in the same general area 
week after week after week.But there is only one problem He's not very sociable. He just keeps his eyes on the service! Church is ove…

Must Read. Chimamanda Adichie On The Anti-Gay Law

Article written by award winning writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie titled 'Why can’t he just be like everyone else?' 
I will call him Sochukwuma. A thin, smiling boy who liked to play with us girls at the university primary school in Nsukka. We were young. We knew he was different, we said, ‘he’s not like the other boys.’ But his was a benign and unquestioned difference; it was simply what it was. We did not have a name for him. We did not know the word ‘gay.’ He was Sochukwuma and he was friendly and he played oga so well that his side always won. In secondary school, some boys in his class tried to throw Sochukwuma off a second floor balcony. They were strapping teenagers who had learned to notice, and fear, difference. They had a name for him. Homo. They mocked him because his hips swayed when he walked and his hands fluttered when he spoke. He brushed away their taunts, silently, sometimes grinning an uncomfortable grin. He must have wished that he could be what
they wanted…

Do Something!

Some weeks ago, in the midst of mild depression, confusion and emptiness, one thought crossed my mind. It was a strange thought considering I'd never thought of this before. In the innermost recess of my mind I heard a tiny voice say "I have everything I need". And then it occurred to me. I have everything I need to be happy, to be successful, to be content, to be satisfied. I have EVERYTHING. God has equipped me with all that I need to make it, it may not be much but it's surely enough. 
There's so much I have to say but I'll keep it brief, I don't want to waste my time writing epistles that no one has the time or patience to read (myself included). Some of us have made mistakes in the past. Do not let them define you. That you're still here today in spite of those mistakes is surely for a reason. (And I don't say this lightly, I'm advising myself here too). 
There are so many of us getting to an age we once considered very old yet we still …

Dear Thelma, Should I (Stress Him Out)?

"Talking about stressing a guy out. Hmmmm.  Anyway, I need advice thelma, my husband calls to inform me dat he will be travelling for his vacation next week. We together wth our daughter were supposed to go together since he comes home every other weekend and doesn't have time for us. But he informed me last week that the vacation wasn't certain anymore, now he has informed me that he needs to travel since he needs rest and doesn't think he can get that rest at home. He's also claiming that I won't be chanced since I'm busy at work. I feel angry and hurt. I just don't knw how to react as I won't want to pass the wrong message. Pls advise me. Thanks "
.......... So basically he's still making a trip but without you and your daughter... I'm not in a position to advice a married person so I would call on others in the house, especially the married ones. Do you think she should stand her grounds; demand she and the child take the trip with…

How To Know He Loves You : STRESS HIM OUT!

I had to share this because I agree with a lot of it. I've been both women; the easygoing, laid back docile girlfriend, and I've been the oh-no-you-don't, I-won't-take-that girlfriend and I know which worked better. I would highlight the parts I feel are important (as relates to this topic).

I’ve had a number of female friends over the years ask, How can I tell he loves me? I’ve answered this question a lot of different ways but when it boils down to it, the best way to tell if a man loves you is to STRESS. HIM. OUT.
I’m serious.

Night Whispers (an Advertorial post)

Beauty Of The Day - Thelma Nwogbo. (ME)

Yay! I'm our beauty of the day today. So yeah... Thelma is a lawyer, makeup artist, blogger, writer, and someone who just lives in the pursuit of happiness and is presently in the search of love and meaning. My buriful pishurs below:

Cute or Queer? Mother In Steamy Photo Shoot With Her Sons. (Pictures)

Supermodel and actress Stephanie Seymore is currently creating a lot of buzz on the internet for a steamy, provocative new photo shoot she did with her sons for Harper’s Bazaar. Check out the pictures and more below and see if you think it's innocent, cute, weird, inappropriate, wrong or just ok!

Dear Men, So What If I Don't Know How To Cook?

"Ehn, I don't know how to cook. Sue me"

23 HR Managers Reveal Their Worst/Weirdest Experiences Interviewing JobApplicants.

1. Texted mom during the interview. Oh god, I have a million. Most recent was a guy who filled out his application via texts from his mother. He would take a picture of the question on the app and she would text him back the answer. He took an hour to fill out a two page basic application.
2. Put “statutory” on the application. I managed a smoke shop in college, and had a guy come in to apply for a job shirtless. As he filled out his application, he proceeded to ask me how to spell “statutory.”
3. Inappropriate work attire. I saw a guy during his first week of training wearing jeans with air brushed on strippers.
He was told to go home.
4. Took a call during the interview. Mine isn’t that bad, but I was interviewing a woman once whose phone went off during the middle of the interview. She grabs for it, so I assume she’ll just silence it and continue. Instead, she answers it 
and goes on to talk to her friend for about 3 minutes about random stuff (aka – not an emergency) before saying that she…

Girl Crush Of The Day - Oreka Godis

Oreka is an absolutely beautiful On Air Personality who also hosts the Love Lounge on Ebony Life Television. I'm not sure what it is but there's something so beautiful and "untouched" about Oreka. I sort of feel like if I were a guy she would be the sort of lady I would like to wife, after me of course. LOL.

A Certain Kind Of Love- Short Story.

Vicki winced as the sunlight hit her eyes, it took her a few seconds to remember where she was and how she got there. She buried her head in her pillow, cursing the terrible hangover that was assaulting her. But then memories of last night flooded her mind and she giggled out loud.       Deolu had been usually "hungry" last night. To the best of her knowledge she hadn't had so much to drink but by the time they left the party she knew she was very drunk. Yet she felt safe and carefree because Deolu was with her. Vague memories of him carrying her up her stairs ran through her mind , but there was nothing vague about the love making that followed. Deolu feasted ferociously on the passion between her thighs and just when she thought she would lose both her voice and her senses from sheer pleasure, he entered her and it was then she knew a whole new level of ecstasy. She had always enjoyed making love with Dee but there was a passion in him last night that she hadn't fel…

Dear Thelma, Is There Something Wrong With Me?

Hi Thelma,
I read one of ur posts on friendships and d conclusion of most pple is dat if u dont av
a friend den u must be really bad.
I've never really had stable frnds as we kept moving houses when i was
small, i went to a boarding house for secondary education(FGGC OYO)
and i didnt adapt well, + im shy so naturally nobody liked me or so i
Now im in d university and my frnds are not all as wonderful
as u guys paint dem.

Ladies, What's Your Dream Proposal? (Yay For Adaobi & Chidi !!!)

I told you guys about my friend that pinged me yesterday to tell me she just got engaged right? Well here she! My darling friend Adaobi and her boo Chidi. Chidi surprised her with a proposal aboard a flight to Enugu. Apparently the other people on the flight shared in their excitement and the pilot announced the engagement as the plane touched down.

Ladies, Be Honest. Do You Get Jealous When......?

So one of my really close friends just pinged me, she actually didn't say much. Just sent the picture of her left hand with a sparkling ring which she captioned "today" with five of the bbm surprised face smileys. I who was immersing herself in a bottle of VSOP and coke (it's one of those nights) was suddenly very awake, aware and lucid. I actually screamed and started jumping on my bed. You see I've waited for this moment for sometime now. I pinged her for details but it took her sometime to reply. I couldn't contain my excitement and just had to share this news with someone so I called a mutual close friend and informed her of what I just learnt. I'd expected her to share my excitement
but her reaction surprised me. She was so unenthusiastic that she almost killed my buzz, she went o
on and on about something or the other about what was wrong with life or men or something (I'm really not sure) and how she's been a very good girl and has nothing…

What Would Be Your Perfect Valentine Gift???

Seriously. Beat that!!!
I hadn't thought about it till I saw Timi Dakolo's tweet and picture. And I started day dreaming. What would be the perfect Valentine's gift you could receive today?
Mine would be something like what's in that picture. Lol. Ok seriously, a new Mac book, a box of designer perfumes, more designer perfumes (which must include at least one from Chopard, Van Cleef & Arpels, Tom Ford and Jean Patou), the title deeds to landed property in Eko Atlantic... Just joking, Banana Island... Just joking o! Seriously, keys and papers to an X6. You see I'm not greedy. 
What's yours? And for you lucky ones that didn't roast what did you get? (Please share so that my fellow roasters and I can live vicariously). 

Dear Thelma, Should I Take My Ex Back?

Good day nwando,please help me,because am really confused...
I broke up with my ex of 3years,december 2012,since then I have found it hard to love someone else...I have gone on countless dates,I just don't understand the caliber of men out there,they are just simply confused,all they want is to get you pregnant,they don't even want to settle down.....believe me I have tried loving but I can't..maybe because my ex disvirgined me and he is the only man I have ever loved,so finding out he was cheating was really painful and with all his pleas I left
 Fast forward to this year,my ex is begging me seriously,bringing back he can't find a girl like me,and how after staying with him from when he was in a 1 room,making his meals sharing kitchen with his other neighbors in his face me I face you compound(I never lived in such environment) to when he moved into his 2bedroom apartment,how I helped him financially,spiritually,materially....he has been calling me lately,…