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Dear Thelma, Should I (Stress Him Out)?

 "Talking about stressing a guy out. Hmmmm. 
Anyway, I need advice thelma, my husband calls to inform me dat he will be travelling for his vacation next week. We together wth our daughter were supposed to go together since he comes home every other weekend and doesn't have time for us. But he informed me last week that the vacation wasn't certain anymore, now he has informed me that he needs to travel since he needs rest and doesn't think he can get that rest at home. He's also claiming that I won't be chanced since I'm busy at work. I feel angry and hurt. I just don't knw how to react as I won't want to pass the wrong message. Pls advise me. Thanks "
So basically he's still making a trip but without you and your daughter... I'm not in a position to advice a married person so I would call on others in the house, especially the married ones. Do you think she should stand her grounds; demand she and the child take the trip with him? Let him know how she really feels about him not taking them anymore? Demand to know why he doesn't want to take them along anymore? OR should she stay back home, let him go and let it slide?

What I THINK I would do in your shoes is this, if I'm not busy at work (like he said) I would point that out and state in clear terms that I want to go on that trip with him. I would make him understand and we miss spending time with him and I in particular need to have some quality time with him. I would wonder if there are reasons (a mistress?) that's behind this decision to take this trip alone BUT I will not mention that to him since I have nothing to go by. And pushing the "mistress" possibility out if my mind, I would wonder and try to find out if there's something else bothering him at work/business that's making him feel he needs to take time away and see how I can make him feel better. But basically, I will simply let him know how I feel and what I want. (Which is that we ALL take the trip together.)


  1. My dear one more thing I forgot to add is that that post on Stressing Him Out is meant for single women. My point is that this man is already your husband. I think you ARE ENTITLED to stress him out. And no, I don't mean being a nag, just as I said above, I would let him know exactly how I feel etc.

  2. Go with your husband. You don't need a reason or an explanation. He is your husband and he has already left you and your daughter alone for long, now he wants to take a vacation without you guys, not fair.

  3. This vacation has already been planned for 3 people - hubby, u n princess. 1. Are you really that busy at work? Find time to join him. If not, this is my advice... If u are sure to allow him proper rest, (just meals and love-making), then convince him to spend it at home. And pls ignore his presence - (no phone calls, no chats, no long talks, no visitors, no "I want to go to daddy") so that he can REST.
    2. Why the sudden change? If u try convincing him to no avail (to stay back, that is if u can't make it), then let him be. (I can only pray its not a MISTRESS at work. Don't raise this topic except u have concrete proof) And when he's back, pls continue being loving as u were before the trip. There'll be many more to come. I know it hurts, but bear it. #Enjay#

  4. Like my husband would do, call a family meeting lol just both of u though. He is ur hubby u should know how to appeal to his Good side... Every one is different though I don't think my husband will make that kind of decision without informing me or we making it together!! But anyways talk to him or book a ticket to that city to " surprise" him abi?! At least he can't send u back home.. Men sha!!!

    1. U might end up surprising urself...

  5. I really feel you should talk to him rather than bottle it up, because from the tone of your message you sound very unhappy.

  6. Lol....whatever you do don't buy a ticket to go and surprise him....cos apart from the fact that you may surprise yourself, he may read all sorts of unpleasant meanings to my experience men can be pretty selfish.they do what they want as long as it suits sound pretty bothered and as I type this all I heart in my head is remember Esther in the Bible and how she had to go and seek the face of the king her husband? My dear pray!!! Tell God how you feel about it first.then tell your hubby and come up with possible solutions...make him understand that you miss him and he should spend time with his family cos that's what he should do...for crying out loud its just one child what happens if they are4? If he still refuses to see reason, go back in your knees and ask God to foil his plans and make it difficult for him to travel....if he still travels, my dear let him go.he will return and your life will continue...remember you are responsible for your happiness so if he goes on without you, plan a fun weekend for you and your daughter...make sure you take pictures so when your hubby gets back he will see them and know that you didn't stay miserable while he was away pining for him...God bless you.

  7. Everyone has spoken well. Please voice out your concerns to your husband. He is after all your husband. Just apply a lot of wisdom.

  8. @gelo,I laughed so hard at your first sentence.My friend always says that about girlfriend/boyfriend surprises"You want to surprise him you will surprise yourself"


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