Some weeks ago, in the midst of mild depression, confusion and emptiness, one thought crossed my mind. It was a strange thought considering I'd never thought of this before. In the innermost recess of my mind I heard a tiny voice say "I have everything I need". And then it occurred to me. I have everything I need to be happy, to be successful, to be content, to be satisfied. I have EVERYTHING. God has equipped me with all that I need to make it, it may not be much but it's surely enough.
There's so much I have to say but I'll keep it brief, I don't want to waste my time writing epistles that no one has the time or patience to read (myself included). Some of us have made mistakes in the past. Do not let them define you. That you're still here today in spite of those mistakes is surely for a reason. (And I don't say this lightly, I'm advising myself here too).
There are so many of us getting to an age we once considered very old yet we still don't know what
we want to be "when we grow up". But you know what, it's ok. As long as you've not given up, as
long as you've not abandoned the pursuit, then you're on track, it may not be the right track but it will
surely lead to the right track.
One thing I must say is this DO SOMETHING. Find something and do it. Someone who got irritated seeing me glued to my ipad every night, furiously typing away once asked "this blog thing, are you getting paid for it, what's the point? Why are you spending so much money on data and all your time writing and researching?". She and most others don't understand that while I love to see an increase in page views and comments in the comments section, I mainly do this for me. Yes me. It has become my therapy. My outlet. My nicotine. My lover. My bestie. It's always on my mind and has given me new purpose. I don't know where it will lead me but knowing that I'm on a journey to somewhere is good enough for now.
So I would advise that rather than spend time thinking about just how miserable, lonely and unfair life is, spend that time doing something worthwhile that makes you happy. Whether it makes you money or not. The satisfaction you'll get is far more valuable than money. BUT if it makes you money as well, then my darling that's just freaking fantastic!!!
And while we're on the matter can I say thank you to everyone who comes to this blog. Sometimes I wonder why you do. LOL. But thanks all the same. And to everyone who has at one point or the other mailed me to encourage me, to tell me I'm doing good or just to say hi, May God almighty in his infinite goodness continue to bestow goodness upon you. Azzzzzn you have no idea how far those few words go. Thank You!!!
Ok... I feel like I've not said exactly what I set out to say in this post but sleep is setting in so before I start chatting out of context I'll stop here.