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Gold-Digger or Go-Getter?

We all know who/what a gold-digger is. I'm using Go-Getter in the context of a lady who has really high standards of her ideal man and would neither settle for less nor apologize for it.

Late last year while on my way to the mall with a friend we began to have a very interesting conversation. This friend of mine is one of the very conservative ones, she's quiet, more introverted than I am and very reserved. So when she blurted out "Nwando I can never marry a poor man, in fact I cannot marry a man who isn't rich, or who I'm richer than" I was surprised to say the least. 

      I chatted with a friend sometime ago, she's been dating her boo for over a year and at our age, you would expect her to be complaining that he hadn't proposed. I asked her about it and in her words "abeg, he does business.... I don't want a business man, I want a corporate executive, preferably in the oil sector. I want oyel (oil) money".

      I remember reading someone's comment on Bella Naija where she said, that she was done dating (broke) guys that she had to take care of. She said she was doing very well in her career and was very comfortable, and she would only date someone who is higher up on the ladder and who is making even more than her. She said with their combined incomes they would have a great life, the kind of life she wants to live. 

I have to ask, is there anything wrong in knowing what you want out of a relationship or marriage? I have a friend who won't date someone who's not in the upper class and who doesn't belong to elite social circles. He must know the "right" people, have the "right" friends and belong to the "right" social/country clubs. She doesn't date these men for money, but because she knows that they're her ticket into the life she wants for herself, her children and her future; high society. 

One thing that's noteworthy is that all these ladies are very career-driven women who are doing very well in their various fields. The first friend has worked with one of the top accounting firms in Ikoyi for over six years and just recently joined another firm in VI as an auditor. The other works with one of the multinational oil companies which affords her a lifestyle that would make some salivate. And the last one who some might call a social-climber is very successful at what she does, she runs her own business and is very independent. 

These young women among some others I've spoken to have very set (high) standards. They have pointed out in very clear terms the type of men they want and intend to marry and they do not apologise for it. And, they have said the will NOT settle for less, they will not compromise on the type of lifestyle they want to have. 

I've had this conversation with someone and in his opinion they are GOLD-DIGGERS. According to him they do not intend to marry for love but for money and social status. He thinks that they view, and will essentially treat marriage as a business transaction. In his words they are "Classy Prostitutes". 

Do you think these ladies are gold-diggers, or do you agree that they are smart go-getters?


  1. I do not blame these women, I mean they have worked hard in school and all have good jobs so yeah why should they apologize for wanting to have a nice life ? I do hope they all find what they are looking for and also love these people they hope to find. There is nothing wrong with that. coming from a family where mumsi was the bread winner because she worked her ass off and dad was just carrying briefcase and being too proud, I am bursting my ass in school and already have a job offer at one of the big 4 firms and do plan on accomplishing more. So yes i also want a man that has more than I have so we can live a very good life with our kids. I am not taking care of any man and i do plan on breaking that cycle! Anyone that has a problem with it na you sabi, sorry but I'm not sorry.

  2. Exactly, call them whatever you want but these women are go-getters. No time for nonsense. They know what they want and they're not afraid to get it. Better pikin dem.

  3. My problem with people like this is that ten years for now they're the ones that would be begging men to marry them, be it CEO or driver. They better be careful, life can be funny.

  4. Do these friends read your blog? cos its like dey still think they ve time. Refer dem to dis link

    1. LOL. This made me laugh. By the way, I think majority voted against settling.

  5. They are not gold-diggers my dear. And for the person that called them gold-diggers, didn't he/she get the details of their profile? We all want to go higher in life. These ladies are already doing good for themselves, it's most appropriate that they aspire for partners that will certainly help them maintain that standard or do better and nothing less! As a matter of fact I won't take it to be an honest answer if any lady of marriageable age and is doing well, says otherwise about her wish for a life partner in this regard.

  6. Definitely smart-ass Go-getters.Gold diggers keh?Hian, if hear.A woman should know exactly what she wants and be willing to be patient enough for it
    This is simple logic abeg, am successful,why on earth would I wanna pitch my tent with an unsuccessful brat all in the guise of marriage.No

  7. Go getters Mehn, unless u are extra bornagain and God told u who u should marry then please shine your eyes poverty is not something to rejoice in

  8. Abeg there's absolutely nothing wrong with having standards and sticking to them jare and thats the difference between go-getters n golddiggers; a go-getter knows what she wants, sets a standard for herself and works towards it, irrespective of there being a man in her life or not. When n if she achieves it, guess what, she sets new ones! A gold digger is all about the flash at the moment and would not want to lift a nail towards building what she wants, it has to be ready made n jst waiting 4 her 2 enter n drain n leave. And go getters don't let go of their standards and i no go blame them abeg. Afterall why i go suffer myself make money, come suffer myself to chop am on top again? Mbanu! I can't fit! Ziggy

  9. I don't blame them oh! U know African men have some(plenty) Yeye pride! Ah if as a lady u make more money than they do they will begin to see u as a threat and analyze rubbish! So yes they should go for pple that are richer than they are

  10. The word gold-digger is used mostly by insecure men. According to Kanye West, "I ain't saying she's a gold-digger,but she ain't messing with a broke nigger..."

  11. i totally support u guys. i makes no sense to do all d work n still suffer all d suffering. cos dats wat will happen. guys lyk dis usually hv large families wit lots of demands. n u cant complain, he ll b pissed off n most times, his family usually thinks d cash being spent is their son's cash.growing up, i knew a family lyk dat.....two 2 b exact.d woman did all d work n d man stayed at home or went gambling. n she had to kip mute pretending all was well. in d end, she died early due to her overworking herself n her unhappiness n d guy married a new wife 6 months later. was pissed. decided afterwards never to get hooked up with anyone beneath my station. its not worth it.

  12. Definitely go-getters! Just like me.

  13. Gold digger bawo,how can a goal getter independent woman be a gold digger,abeg there's nothing wrong in setting standards jare...


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