Skip to main content

Help! Blog Visitor Feels Used and Confused.



"Thelma I've never been so pissed of in my life. I read your last post and what you said was very true, we do a lot of shit for the men in our lives. Imagine me losing my virginity at 28 just because he said he couldn't wait! Been with my boyfriend for two years. Lost my virginity to him last year, at 28, we were engaged so he convinced me it was ok. But some months ago he began to change and then said he wants to end the relationship. I decided to give him space. A month later I found out that he has a 4 month old baby. I couldn't believe it, this is someone that we've done introduction. Now to make matters worse he owes me 800k that he borrowed from me during our relationship. I didn't  mind giving him because I thot we'll get married. Now he's saying that the money was a "gift", and that he owes me nothing. and because I'm bitter I want to collect money from him. I'm so upset because it was not a gift, he asked for a loan and I gave it to him. I feel so stupid and used honestly. I know I cannot take my V back and I really regret it, but I need my money back. I just don't know what to do"

.......
A blog visitor sent this to me this evening and I'm not sure what to say......

Comments

  1. I feel your pain,you waited till 28 ,you would have waited till wedding night.Anyway its better to have a broken relationship than a broken marriage.so dust it off and move on.as per the money try everythn you can to get it back

    ReplyDelete
  2. I can just imagine. 28! All I can say is sorry.... As for the money you might need to use some force o! The guy is a bastard!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Some men are just wicked. Report him to the police, threaten his life with everything. My ex did same thING to me and I never got the money back.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear Blog Visitor,

    It’s hard not to sound cliche but please forgive him and move on because the bitterness will only morph into something uncontrollable and may hinder you from seeing and effectively utilising the blessings in your life.

    Don't focus on the negative, you've lived and you've learnt.

    If you are a Christian, please pour out your heart to God because he really is real (I can’t emphasis this enough) and God can and will do much more than you will ever imagine. His healing is the real deal.

    He may have walked away with your virginity and money but do not let him steal your joy.

    You are more than physical circumstances and you deserve happiness and love so create and dwell in it for your sake.

    Virginity or not, you are special and precious. You are unique and beautiful, and the fact you showed discipline all these year shows you have a strong character and resolve and that still remains who you are.

    Money is fleeting and will come and go. Trust me I know N800,000 is a large sum of money but you are whole and healthy and can make 10 times more than N800,000.

    My hearts want me to tell you to let him go, let the anger go, I know you want to hold on to something tangible cause you can't imagine any other emotion that can comprehend this betrayal but my dear trust me, you will look back and say he thought he conned me but its himself he conned.

    If I knew you in person, I would hug you and cry with you and scream at the walls with you but I will tell you it will be alright because its already alright... just believe it is.

    Keke

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow Keke! Now I need to meet you in person. We need more people with your kind of mentality in this world. You're a rare being

      Delete
  5. This Keke is amazing! I was going to say if u don't get ur money after trying hard, break all the glass on his car, I suppose he has one and give the body some good scratches. I still said it. God forgive me. @ 28?!, somebody pls hand her a baseball bat. #Enjay# btw, I'm not a violent person, I just went crazy over the post.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Get the police involved my dear! Humans r terrible! Besides u have every right to be bitter. D guy doesn't have shame.
    Mtchweeeeep!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Some men have mind Oo°˚˚˚°! Does he know u can place a curse on him and that what eva he uses that 800k to do won't prosper, and coupled wiv d fact that he disvirgined u! D curse will so work! Hmm!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Too bad u lost ur virginity at 28yrs, u would ve jst waited..... As for the money, it will be difficult getting it back if there wsnt a written agreement. Some men are so heartless, I don't want to sound bad bt apart from my brothers...I don't think I can ever give any man my money unless am married 2 him. I can buy him a gift or something I knw would look nice on him bt my money, neva. Its only a shameless man that will man a lady 4 money.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its only a shameless man dat will ask a lady 4 money.

      Delete
  9. I absolutely agree with Keke! Please let him go! With the money. Forgive him. Go to the Lord! Lay out all your troubles to Him. Trust Him, believe that He loves you and always has your back! This will not be an easy period but trust in the Lord with all your heart. Sometimes we go through problems and periods of trials to build steadfastness which leads to maturity and which leads to a strengthening of our faith.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sorry about your experience, I agree with Keke you need to forgive him that way it will be easier to move on I know its not easy but just try it. Trust in God, pray and study His word and you will find peace, talk to Him.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Keke, u r amazing....I wish she wud go wiv ur advice.That said....my opinion

    Please note that am not blaming you but love does make us do silly things but I really wish u had waited till your wedding night.I will be 28 this year and I can proudly I am still a virgin.Its not been easy buh apart from God,one thing that keeps me going is I av waiting for 28 freaking years, am damn well gonna wait till my wedding night.

    800k is a lot of money and it gonna sEem like u just can't let go but I think that's the best to do.I know it hurts.....a whole lot..trust me I have been there, I met this broke dude and I thought he had potential,so we started dating only him to tell me 8months later that he had a 12year old son, can u beat that?how on earth would u not tell someone u wanna marry that mighty piece of info?this is a guy that I basically took care of fah.I broke off with him and I can tell you am the better for it now.

    Just stay with God dear blog visitor, u will yet have a testimony,Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Just let him go....some men won't know a good thing even if it hit them on their head.....forget about him, the money and everything....Gods reward awaits him....as for you just hold in its just a matter of time...the one who will worship the ground you step on will come....just don't compromise and settle for less again....

    ReplyDelete
  13. Pls let him go. Not only for the reasons stated above but because he might come after u. To plan to deceive u d way he did while taking care of a 4 month old, shows he can do a lot. For your safety, let the money go. Any man who puts pressure on u for sex has no good intentions. Others wld rush the wedding to have their precious jewel. I heard of a man who went to his father in law and paid double the bride price after discovering his wife was a virgin. Heard of secondary virginity? Yeah, u can wait for a genuine guy. Cry and get over it. I pray u have friends n family to support u. Look on d bright side, u r not pregnant or infected with STD. www.drnsmusings.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  14. I absolutely agree wt keke. I pray you heal. Sometimes I just feel like getting a baseball bat and smashing all did crazy fellows on their heads. The way they treat us anyhow just because we're girls and we love them. God is on his throne sha.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I absolutely agree wt keke. I pray you heal. Sometimes I just feel like getting a baseball bat and smashing all did crazy fellows on their heads. The way they treat us anyhow just because we're girls and we love them. God is on his throne sha.

    ReplyDelete
  16. In as much as I agree with keke, i'll have to ask u to do/spoil something that will hurt him...that will surely help you in letting it go. wreck his car tyres and smash his windscreen, something that will be worth 800k. Jst do him back small and believe me, you'll feel at peace after that. Pele dear

    ReplyDelete
  17. God will give you strength dear, please let him go. If there is no written agreement, you sure as hell can't get your money back. If you wreck his property, you are very likely to get in trouble with the police as a heartless man like him won't hesitate to hand you over to the police.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Organise area boys to beat the idiot up! Strip naked and swear for him at 12 midnight. Wtf!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahaha, I pray never to cross someone like you o!

      Delete
  19. Well I think all the possible scenarios have been listed, its left to you to pick the one that best suits your temperament and conscience.
    My own is that I'm shocked that we still have 28 year old virgins who aren't nuns! Abeg I'm looking for virgin to marry o, I'm not a virgin but I've never disvirgined a girl. I never could get myself to take the flower of a girl I know I wasn't planning to marry. The convenant between the man and the just disvirgined run very spiritually deep, there's blood involved for crying out loud!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Fornication is also deep for crying out loud... Ewu! (Sorry,just had to add that)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Look,it's only rational and balanced that virgins marry virgins. If u wanna marry a virgin,biko be one. I find it annoying and distasteful that a woman "keeps herself" yet wants an experienced man who wld take her beyond the universe in ecstasy when we all know his experiences came thru the help of other women like urself.
    I'm not against being a virgin but pls insist on marrying one. If she's a novice,be novices together. If she's experienced,be experienced together. I know my epistle na yarns but I have yarned it. #okbye

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

One More Post...

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa

Giveaway Finale!

Happy Sunday y'all. 
This is the conclusive part of #WCG. 
All the N25,000 recipients have received their cash.
All the students have also received their N10,000. 
Once again guys please comment under any of the posts, or this one that you've received your money. Thanks. 

So moving forward, this final giveaway contains 
1. N10,000 for 5 people. 

2. 3 kimonos from Julian's dressmakers. 
3. 3 pairs of Palm slippers from WaleOnibata. (Gents) 
4. 2 pairs of shoes from Courtney's Closet. (Ladies. Size 9 and Size 11). 

5. 1 human hair wig from Gabby's Wigs'n'Weaves. You pick from one of the wigs below. 
6. 3 cakes from CakesandCream 

7. A getaway at CitiHeight Hotel Ikeja for 3 people. (Who can each bring one person along).  


As I said earlier, Kon has already won a stay at CitiHeight and Clare, a kimono. So those gifts are now available for 2 people each. 
There is no competition. We are only going to play a game. 
I have each gift item listed out in numbers. Number 1 to 100. …