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Help! Blog Visitor Feels Used and Confused.

"Thelma I've never been so pissed of in my life. I read your last post and what you said was very true, we do a lot of shit for the men in our lives. Imagine me losing my virginity at 28 just because he said he couldn't wait! Been with my boyfriend for two years. Lost my virginity to him last year, at 28, we were engaged so he convinced me it was ok. But some months ago he began to change and then said he wants to end the relationship. I decided to give him space. A month later I found out that he has a 4 month old baby. I couldn't believe it, this is someone that we've done introduction. Now to make matters worse he owes me 800k that he borrowed from me during our relationship. I didn't  mind giving him because I thot we'll get married. Now he's saying that the money was a "gift", and that he owes me nothing. and because I'm bitter I want to collect money from him. I'm so upset because it was not a gift, he asked for a loan and I gave it to him. I feel so stupid and used honestly. I know I cannot take my V back and I really regret it, but I need my money back. I just don't know what to do"

A blog visitor sent this to me this evening and I'm not sure what to say......


  1. I feel your pain,you waited till 28 ,you would have waited till wedding night.Anyway its better to have a broken relationship than a broken dust it off and move per the money try everythn you can to get it back

  2. I can just imagine. 28! All I can say is sorry.... As for the money you might need to use some force o! The guy is a bastard!

  3. Some men are just wicked. Report him to the police, threaten his life with everything. My ex did same thING to me and I never got the money back.

  4. Dear Blog Visitor,

    It’s hard not to sound cliche but please forgive him and move on because the bitterness will only morph into something uncontrollable and may hinder you from seeing and effectively utilising the blessings in your life.

    Don't focus on the negative, you've lived and you've learnt.

    If you are a Christian, please pour out your heart to God because he really is real (I can’t emphasis this enough) and God can and will do much more than you will ever imagine. His healing is the real deal.

    He may have walked away with your virginity and money but do not let him steal your joy.

    You are more than physical circumstances and you deserve happiness and love so create and dwell in it for your sake.

    Virginity or not, you are special and precious. You are unique and beautiful, and the fact you showed discipline all these year shows you have a strong character and resolve and that still remains who you are.

    Money is fleeting and will come and go. Trust me I know N800,000 is a large sum of money but you are whole and healthy and can make 10 times more than N800,000.

    My hearts want me to tell you to let him go, let the anger go, I know you want to hold on to something tangible cause you can't imagine any other emotion that can comprehend this betrayal but my dear trust me, you will look back and say he thought he conned me but its himself he conned.

    If I knew you in person, I would hug you and cry with you and scream at the walls with you but I will tell you it will be alright because its already alright... just believe it is.


    1. Wow Keke! Now I need to meet you in person. We need more people with your kind of mentality in this world. You're a rare being

  5. This Keke is amazing! I was going to say if u don't get ur money after trying hard, break all the glass on his car, I suppose he has one and give the body some good scratches. I still said it. God forgive me. @ 28?!, somebody pls hand her a baseball bat. #Enjay# btw, I'm not a violent person, I just went crazy over the post.

  6. Get the police involved my dear! Humans r terrible! Besides u have every right to be bitter. D guy doesn't have shame.

  7. Some men have mind Oo°˚˚˚°! Does he know u can place a curse on him and that what eva he uses that 800k to do won't prosper, and coupled wiv d fact that he disvirgined u! D curse will so work! Hmm!

  8. Too bad u lost ur virginity at 28yrs, u would ve jst waited..... As for the money, it will be difficult getting it back if there wsnt a written agreement. Some men are so heartless, I don't want to sound bad bt apart from my brothers...I don't think I can ever give any man my money unless am married 2 him. I can buy him a gift or something I knw would look nice on him bt my money, neva. Its only a shameless man that will man a lady 4 money.

    1. Its only a shameless man dat will ask a lady 4 money.

  9. I absolutely agree with Keke! Please let him go! With the money. Forgive him. Go to the Lord! Lay out all your troubles to Him. Trust Him, believe that He loves you and always has your back! This will not be an easy period but trust in the Lord with all your heart. Sometimes we go through problems and periods of trials to build steadfastness which leads to maturity and which leads to a strengthening of our faith.

  10. Sorry about your experience, I agree with Keke you need to forgive him that way it will be easier to move on I know its not easy but just try it. Trust in God, pray and study His word and you will find peace, talk to Him.

  11. Keke, u r amazing....I wish she wud go wiv ur advice.That opinion

    Please note that am not blaming you but love does make us do silly things but I really wish u had waited till your wedding night.I will be 28 this year and I can proudly I am still a virgin.Its not been easy buh apart from God,one thing that keeps me going is I av waiting for 28 freaking years, am damn well gonna wait till my wedding night.

    800k is a lot of money and it gonna sEem like u just can't let go but I think that's the best to do.I know it hurts.....a whole me I have been there, I met this broke dude and I thought he had potential,so we started dating only him to tell me 8months later that he had a 12year old son, can u beat that?how on earth would u not tell someone u wanna marry that mighty piece of info?this is a guy that I basically took care of fah.I broke off with him and I can tell you am the better for it now.

    Just stay with God dear blog visitor, u will yet have a testimony,Hugs!

  12. Just let him go....some men won't know a good thing even if it hit them on their head.....forget about him, the money and everything....Gods reward awaits for you just hold in its just a matter of time...the one who will worship the ground you step on will come....just don't compromise and settle for less again....

  13. Pls let him go. Not only for the reasons stated above but because he might come after u. To plan to deceive u d way he did while taking care of a 4 month old, shows he can do a lot. For your safety, let the money go. Any man who puts pressure on u for sex has no good intentions. Others wld rush the wedding to have their precious jewel. I heard of a man who went to his father in law and paid double the bride price after discovering his wife was a virgin. Heard of secondary virginity? Yeah, u can wait for a genuine guy. Cry and get over it. I pray u have friends n family to support u. Look on d bright side, u r not pregnant or infected with STD.

  14. I absolutely agree wt keke. I pray you heal. Sometimes I just feel like getting a baseball bat and smashing all did crazy fellows on their heads. The way they treat us anyhow just because we're girls and we love them. God is on his throne sha.

  15. I absolutely agree wt keke. I pray you heal. Sometimes I just feel like getting a baseball bat and smashing all did crazy fellows on their heads. The way they treat us anyhow just because we're girls and we love them. God is on his throne sha.

  16. In as much as I agree with keke, i'll have to ask u to do/spoil something that will hurt him...that will surely help you in letting it go. wreck his car tyres and smash his windscreen, something that will be worth 800k. Jst do him back small and believe me, you'll feel at peace after that. Pele dear

  17. God will give you strength dear, please let him go. If there is no written agreement, you sure as hell can't get your money back. If you wreck his property, you are very likely to get in trouble with the police as a heartless man like him won't hesitate to hand you over to the police.

  18. Organise area boys to beat the idiot up! Strip naked and swear for him at 12 midnight. Wtf!

    1. Hahahahaha, I pray never to cross someone like you o!

  19. Well I think all the possible scenarios have been listed, its left to you to pick the one that best suits your temperament and conscience.
    My own is that I'm shocked that we still have 28 year old virgins who aren't nuns! Abeg I'm looking for virgin to marry o, I'm not a virgin but I've never disvirgined a girl. I never could get myself to take the flower of a girl I know I wasn't planning to marry. The convenant between the man and the just disvirgined run very spiritually deep, there's blood involved for crying out loud!

  20. Fornication is also deep for crying out loud... Ewu! (Sorry,just had to add that)

  21. Look,it's only rational and balanced that virgins marry virgins. If u wanna marry a virgin,biko be one. I find it annoying and distasteful that a woman "keeps herself" yet wants an experienced man who wld take her beyond the universe in ecstasy when we all know his experiences came thru the help of other women like urself.
    I'm not against being a virgin but pls insist on marrying one. If she's a novice,be novices together. If she's experienced,be experienced together. I know my epistle na yarns but I have yarned it. #okbye


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