Before I tell my friend's story, let's talk about this first.
I don't know if this goes on everywhere, but I live in Lagos so I can only speak for Lagos. And I will narrow this down to the Island because this is where I see it happen most often. It's happened to me severally here and not once on the mainland (don't ask me why).
You go somewhere, anywhere; the mall, the movies, the club, the filling station, the ATM machine, church etc and you see this guy checking you out. He's obviously into you and you know for certain that he's definitely going to walk up to you and chat you up. As expected he does that and
the first words out of his mouth are ;
"Hello, what do you do?"
Not "Hello, my name is John, what's yours?", nor "Hi, I couldn't help but notice you when you came in" nor "Hello, you look familiar". No, these days it's always "Hello what do you do?"
It seems that a woman's job has become part of her identity and the lack of one equals a lack of an identity. And if, unfortunately you are currently unemployed and you're stupid, or honest enough to say "oh, I'm actually looking for a job right now" or even if you try to make it sound classy and wrap it up with a pretty pink bow and say "I'm currently between jobs at the moment", his eyes immediately glaze over and you can literally see him lose interest. Sometimes you can actually see yourself downgraded from girlfriend-potential to one-night stand in his eyes.
In January someone saw my friend's picture on my DP and he pinged me to tell me he's interested in her. He asked to see more pictures and he was very excited by what he saw. I asked and she said it was ok to give him her pin. I did so and before he added her he asked me one last question; where does she work? I explained to him that she got back late last year after her just concluded Masters program and hadn't found a job yet, and that was it o! He never added her on BB, never asked about her again.
I was part of a forum where guys were asked which was worse, a girl that had slept with 7-10 guys, or one that didn't have a job. You'd think the answer was pretty obvious right? Well a lot of them said a girl without a job was worse.
Also on this blog I did a post on Wife Material, where the writer said that a woman above 27yrs of age without a job is not wife material. Oh well...
So back to my friend. She's been dating her boo for some months now. she met him under one of the above circumstances and it was pretty obvious that he was one of those guys who thinks its a pretty big deal for a girl not to have a job. It occurred to her to lie that she does one business or another, but she didn't know when she blurted out that she works with a Mortgage bank. My friend was, and still is unemployed and has spent the last four months telling one lie after another to support this lie, seeing as she's now dating said guy. In order to give her lie some credibility, she doesn't answer his calls during the day, she takes pictures of herself in corporate clothes, she tries to sound stressed and tired at night and she has to tell fictitious stories about imaginary colleagues.
Now the problem is this, he's been transferred from Ikeja to Victoria Island (where she claims to work) and he's been suggesting they meet up for lunch, or have drinks after works, or worst still, he wants to come see her at the office. My friend is now at a crossroads. She once had to get dressed in work clothes and join him at a bar after work hours (obviously she went from home, but to him, she came from the office). She's scared that she can't keep up with the lies much longer and is confused about what to do.
Should she come clean and tell him she never did have a job?
Should she tell him she just lost the job or quit? (This will lead to many more lies)
Should she continue to stick to her lies and hope he never finds out (till she gets a real job)
There are a few other options but nothing sounds good enough. What would you suggest. (Yes, she was wrong to lie in the first place but no judgement please.)
Guys, can you shed light on why a girl's worth in your "eyes" drops the moment you find out she's unemployed?