Skip to main content

My First Heartbreak. (Woman, know thy friend)

My first heartbreak was also one of my first life lessons.

We were young, we were so young. How does one become so scheming, jealous and unfeeling at such a young age?
       Contrary to what you might be thinking, this isn't about love gone bad. Well actually it is. The way you love a friend just like a sister, and your friend shoots an arrow straight through your heart. That kind of heart break.

I remember this so vividly. Maybe because I dreamt of her last night. She was such an awesome person. We were young, about fourteen years old. So.... back then I had this "boyfriend" in King's
College. Apparently, he was one of the "bubblers" (terminology for popular rich kid who attended all the cool parties and rolled with only the cool people). He was also well known by some QC girls. He and I had been at it for a couple of years. (Don't panic, it was very "chaste", not even as much as a peck on the cheeks. It was pure innocent unadulterated affection). We didn't see often but we spent hours on end everyday on the phone, spiking our parents' phone bills. My friends all knew about him and us. However, in my natural naivety I never imagined that any of them would be jealous or want
to see us apart.
        At some point I had to go into boarding house and I had no prior knowledge of this, so I wasn't able to tell him ahead of time. I knew if he didn't hear from me for days he would be worried and confused (he could only call me when I called him and asked him to call back). So I told my bestie, this is his number, please call him for me and tell him that I would be in boarding house for a while. I'll call him immediately I'm able to. To my relief my friend called and explained to him. He said to
tell me that he loves and misses me. Aawww.

       But in the days to come my friend would come to school and tell me how they spoke for hours and talked about everything, how she even serenaded him with Mariah Carey songs over the phone. One morning my friend came to school and told me to my face to forget about my boyfriend, because they were now dating. As if that was not enough she told everybody 
that the famous .......... had dumped me and was in love with her. 

      What was more difficult than losing him was losing my best friend. We never recovered from that. For me it wasn't the act in itself that hurt. It was the way she gloated, the way she rubbed it in my face, the way she made sure everyone knew about it, the "tounge-out" attitude she put up. If I didn't know better I would have thought that I did something wrong to her and this was Pay Back. 

      Eventually he left her and came back to beg, we became friends again and are still friends till today. It was easy to forgive him because really, he was just as guilty, yet it wasn't him who betrayed
me. Well, she didn't seem to want forgiveness. The high of getting him to choose her over me, no matter how brief, made her dead to everything else. So for the next few years she kept her distance and would occasionally remind whoever cared to listen that she once "had my man". 

     As a result of this, I learnt from an early age to be careful. I'm not one of those "I don't have girlfriends, girls are all evil" kind of people. I have girlfriends, I absolutely love them to Mars and back. My friends, though not many are a source of joy, happiness, comfort and peace to me. But I do NOT use the word "Friend" lightly. I'm careful who I call friend. 

I think it all boils down to the value one places on friendship. If you're friends with someone who doesn't place much value on friendship then you must be very careful around this person. Don't share intimate details of your life, don't introduce her to your man, do NOT take her to where your bread is buttered. Otherwise you will have yourself to blame. 
         It might even be safe to say TRUST NO ONE. That way there is no room for sob stories in the future. 

Being heart broken by a friend is not limited to the relationship setting alone, it could be the kind of betrayal my friend experienced Read Here, it could be your friend screwing you over and taking something that was rightfully yours, it could be them spreading vicious lies about you to ruin you, it could be something your friend did as a result of jealousy. 

A lot off us have had these experiences with "supposed" friends. Some of us have actually been the bad friend. 

Have you ever been heart broken by a friend? Have you ever broken a friend's heart? Share your story with us. 


  1. May God save one from frnenemies, while growing up, my mum had a grown friend of hers come stay with us.Its now that am older that I can see that God really helped us with that situation 'cuz a lot of tins kud av gone wrong!

  2. Yes. I'm one of those who doesn't have girlfriends. I've enough shit from people claiming to be friends. I've had enough.

  3. You see, at the end, you only have yourself! Trust no1

  4. Hehehe. I remember that story. Kunle........ And I remember when she said they were dating. Smh. Back then we actually thought we were adults o! Lol

    1. Bia Thelma it's like you like Yoruba boys o! Kunle kwa?

  5. I don't remember this story. Weird, well I was a bit oblivious to quite a bit at QC.

    As one gets older, the number in one's circle of friends tends to diminish.


    1. Keke I've missed you. You just abandoned me sha! Funny thing about this story is that you actually met him.... Remember that weekend you and I spent in your house when your family travelled? He wasn't living too far from you then so in the evenings we all hung out. You even met his friend!. But you and I hadn't become friends when the above event took place which is probably why you don't know about it. In fact you know all the parties involved. Lol.

  6. Many years back my dad did some biz with his best friend and when they got paid and my dad asked for his share the friend sent assassins to tell my dad never to speak of the money again or he'll be killed. To this day if I mention the word friend to my dad he still cringes and asks me what do I really know about friendship, I never really understood till friends started screwing me over. That never stopped me from having more friends or being a good friend but I never get surprised when one slides me.

  7. I remember this....I think the said friend let some seniors who were her chonkos know about you guys...and the seniors had a thing for him or something and they now called you...what I can't remember is who the friend is.tempted to blurt out a name but...

  8. Gelo your head dey there jare. Lol. But she wasn't the one that told on me to the seniors. It was someone else. Hint: a malicious twin. I had too many people beefin me because of that guy. You won't believe that till date I still see some and they refuse to say hi. Hia!

  9. this an exclusive "V" gist or what? :(


  10. Me and my partner broke up at the end of last year. He wanted to go on a break, I didn’t want to but I eventually agreed. He said he needs time away for a while and be single. He said he would contact me when he was ready to speak to me again but its approaching eight months. I don’t know how long he’s going to take but I was willing to gave him as much time he needs to think things through. I can’ wait much longer, so I search whole web and I found very powerful magic person. He has this website , I buy from his love spell, and it worked after one month. I ‘m happy again.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Closed Chapter...

Hello everyone, yesterday a friend said to me, Thelma I love your blog, I've told so many people about your blog, I think you're a very good writer but I feel there's something you're not doing right"

This friend was the first person who won our beauty of the day contest back then in 2014. Then we had met just once through a mutual friend. I mentioned the blog to her and she became an instant reader. I wouldn't have exactly called her a friend then but yesterday as we sat down waiting for our Uber to come get us from Wal-Mart, she's definitely my friend and I knew she was coming from a good place when she said she had much higher expectations of my blog.

Me too.

But you see, in the last year or so, maybe even longer than that, I haven't felt much joy in blogging. It began to feel more and more of a laborious chore, one which I hardly reaped any fruits from.

I really love writing, I love sharing my life and my experiences with others and I've enjoy…

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa