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My First Heartbreak. (Woman, know thy friend)

My first heartbreak was also one of my first life lessons.


We were young, we were so young. How does one become so scheming, jealous and unfeeling at such a young age?
       Contrary to what you might be thinking, this isn't about love gone bad. Well actually it is. The way you love a friend just like a sister, and your friend shoots an arrow straight through your heart. That kind of heart break.


I remember this so vividly. Maybe because I dreamt of her last night. She was such an awesome person. We were young, about fourteen years old. So.... back then I had this "boyfriend" in King's
College. Apparently, he was one of the "bubblers" (terminology for popular rich kid who attended all the cool parties and rolled with only the cool people). He was also well known by some QC girls. He and I had been at it for a couple of years. (Don't panic, it was very "chaste", not even as much as a peck on the cheeks. It was pure innocent unadulterated affection). We didn't see often but we spent hours on end everyday on the phone, spiking our parents' phone bills. My friends all knew about him and us. However, in my natural naivety I never imagined that any of them would be jealous or want
to see us apart.
        At some point I had to go into boarding house and I had no prior knowledge of this, so I wasn't able to tell him ahead of time. I knew if he didn't hear from me for days he would be worried and confused (he could only call me when I called him and asked him to call back). So I told my bestie, this is his number, please call him for me and tell him that I would be in boarding house for a while. I'll call him immediately I'm able to. To my relief my friend called and explained to him. He said to
tell me that he loves and misses me. Aawww.

       But in the days to come my friend would come to school and tell me how they spoke for hours and talked about everything, how she even serenaded him with Mariah Carey songs over the phone. One morning my friend came to school and told me to my face to forget about my boyfriend, because they were now dating. As if that was not enough she told everybody 
that the famous .......... had dumped me and was in love with her. 

      What was more difficult than losing him was losing my best friend. We never recovered from that. For me it wasn't the act in itself that hurt. It was the way she gloated, the way she rubbed it in my face, the way she made sure everyone knew about it, the "tounge-out" attitude she put up. If I didn't know better I would have thought that I did something wrong to her and this was Pay Back. 

      Eventually he left her and came back to beg, we became friends again and are still friends till today. It was easy to forgive him because really, he was just as guilty, yet it wasn't him who betrayed
me. Well, she didn't seem to want forgiveness. The high of getting him to choose her over me, no matter how brief, made her dead to everything else. So for the next few years she kept her distance and would occasionally remind whoever cared to listen that she once "had my man". 

     As a result of this, I learnt from an early age to be careful. I'm not one of those "I don't have girlfriends, girls are all evil" kind of people. I have girlfriends, I absolutely love them to Mars and back. My friends, though not many are a source of joy, happiness, comfort and peace to me. But I do NOT use the word "Friend" lightly. I'm careful who I call friend. 


I think it all boils down to the value one places on friendship. If you're friends with someone who doesn't place much value on friendship then you must be very careful around this person. Don't share intimate details of your life, don't introduce her to your man, do NOT take her to where your bread is buttered. Otherwise you will have yourself to blame. 
         It might even be safe to say TRUST NO ONE. That way there is no room for sob stories in the future. 

Being heart broken by a friend is not limited to the relationship setting alone, it could be the kind of betrayal my friend experienced Read Here, it could be your friend screwing you over and taking something that was rightfully yours, it could be them spreading vicious lies about you to ruin you, it could be something your friend did as a result of jealousy. 

A lot off us have had these experiences with "supposed" friends. Some of us have actually been the bad friend. 

Have you ever been heart broken by a friend? Have you ever broken a friend's heart? Share your story with us. 

Comments

  1. May God save one from frnenemies, while growing up, my mum had a grown friend of hers come stay with us.Its now that am older that I can see that God really helped us with that situation 'cuz a lot of tins kud av gone wrong!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes. I'm one of those who doesn't have girlfriends. I've enough shit from people claiming to be friends. I've had enough.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You see, at the end, you only have yourself! Trust no1

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hehehe. I remember that story. Kunle........ And I remember when she said they were dating. Smh. Back then we actually thought we were adults o! Lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bia Thelma it's like you like Yoruba boys o! Kunle kwa?

      Delete
  5. I don't remember this story. Weird, well I was a bit oblivious to quite a bit at QC.

    As one gets older, the number in one's circle of friends tends to diminish.

    Keke

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Keke I've missed you. You just abandoned me sha! Funny thing about this story is that you actually met him.... Remember that weekend you and I spent in your house when your family travelled? He wasn't living too far from you then so in the evenings we all hung out. You even met his friend!. But you and I hadn't become friends when the above event took place which is probably why you don't know about it. In fact you know all the parties involved. Lol.

      Delete
  6. Many years back my dad did some biz with his best friend and when they got paid and my dad asked for his share the friend sent assassins to tell my dad never to speak of the money again or he'll be killed. To this day if I mention the word friend to my dad he still cringes and asks me what do I really know about friendship, I never really understood till friends started screwing me over. That never stopped me from having more friends or being a good friend but I never get surprised when one slides me.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I remember this....I think the said friend let some seniors who were her chonkos know about you guys...and the seniors had a thing for him or something and they now called you...what I can't remember is who the friend is.tempted to blurt out a name but...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Gelo your head dey there jare. Lol. But she wasn't the one that told on me to the seniors. It was someone else. Hint: a malicious twin. I had too many people beefin me because of that guy. You won't believe that till date I still see some and they refuse to say hi. Hia!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hian...is this an exclusive "V" gist or what? :(

    ReplyDelete

  10. Me and my partner broke up at the end of last year. He wanted to go on a break, I didn’t want to but I eventually agreed. He said he needs time away for a while and be single. He said he would contact me when he was ready to speak to me again but its approaching eight months. I don’t know how long he’s going to take but I was willing to gave him as much time he needs to think things through. I can’ wait much longer, so I search whole web and I found very powerful magic person. He has this website http://magical-rituals.com , I buy from his love spell, and it worked after one month. I ‘m happy again.

    ReplyDelete

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