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Taking Matters Into Her Own Hands. Is She About To Make The BiggestMistake Of Her life?



Last night I had drinks with a couple of friends and you know how it is when about five chics are gathered together, it was one of those "Single Ladies Round Table" moments. Yeah, we may discuss the failed peace talks in Syria, the Sochi Olympics, God and religion, work or fashion. But be rest assured that that takes up only 10% of the time. The other 90%? Yes you guessed it. Men! Under this
comes relationships, sex, marriage, heartbreak, cheating men, two-minute men, stingy men, womanizing men etc. 
     Of all we discussed last night this one got me thinking the most.

I was the only single single lady in the group, everyone else is in a relationship, or some sort of relationship. Yet each one has its own unique drama. *Yewande is thirty and has been dating her man for about three years. She thinks this is enough time for him to propose... She had thought he would propose on his birthday in November and he didn't, neither did he during Christmas. She had expected him to propose on her birthday, last month, but he didn't. 
      Now, Valentine's day is next week and she's seriously considering taking that bold step and proposing to him. 


      Her arguments are that this could be the push he needs, they have a good relationship and marriage should naturally follow, if he says No then that might be the wake-up call she needs to break up and move on, and, they are both not getting any younger. 
     *Tonye suggested she just get pregnant for him and pin him down, after all a lot of girls do so, but Yewande argues that he would see through it and it might bring about some resentment.
      She believes she should be straight forward, get on one knee and propose (in private).

Me... I was silent all through. I took me sometime to process this. This could be a recipe for disaster or it could be a "happy ever after".

What do you think about this? No doubt women proposing is very unconventional but research (yes, Yewande has researched it) shows that women who have proposed to their partners ended up happy that they did. 


Men, how would you feel if your girlfriend proposes to you?


Comments

  1. Ok now,so who's gonna answer first?

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  2. Hmm i feel that works only in the west oo.. who is going to wear the ring ? the guy ? I feel your friend should not propose anything.. she should just talk to him about her concerns and see where things go.. the earlier the better.. just sit down and TALK. no need to propose abeg.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. for me I will say this is so wrong. Why will u b the one to pop the question how would u even feel. Even the bible says it. He who FINDS a WIFE finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord not the other way round. From your age I believe you should be experienced in the dating world. For u to b dating this guy for 3yrs now u shud know by now where the relationship is headed to by his actions and by words. I pray God gives u discerning spirit.
    A.Minaj

    ReplyDelete
  4. Take Minaj's advise if you don't want to be called names later on. This is a very wrong move for naija men.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Proposing to a man isn't ok, if you are giving your boyfriend husband privileges then he won't see why he should propose after all you are already playing wife.

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  6. sit him down and talk to him, give him an ultimatum if you have to. under no means should you propose.

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  7. Hell NO.do not propose.Miss Yewande once again I say, dnt freaking propose.This is Nigeria and as much as we Africans wanna form westernized, we are still Africans @heart.Here's what I feel you should do, sit him down and ask him practical questions, you guys should have a heart to heart talk.The talk would still serve the purpose of clarying for you where you stand,your expectations(how real they are) and help you ultimately make a decision.finally, if uv bn giving him husband privileges, I advise you withdraw them immediately.Now ok, without further ado!

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  8. And Thelma, a quote from Blair? Seriously? The character in gossip girls who can't even chart a proper and 'right' path for her own life.Abeg make Blair go siddown jere, if I hear!

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  9. Also I feel Thelma can do a post on 'husband privileges' .What exactly husband privileges is, why do single women giv men that they are not yet married to 'husband privileges' ? Preventive measures....e.t.c

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  10. Men are less emotional than women. When a man proposes to a woman and she says NO, it hurts him, but his ego and less emotional trait stand out as shock absorbers. Women don't have these traits; so what would happen to her if the guy says NO? She'll lose the self dignity the man sees in her. Unless you're absolutely ready for the worst possible emotional breakdown, I wouldn't recommend any woman proposing to a man.

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  11. No, she shouldn't. Not even on val's day, she'll be tagged 'desperado'. This tale won't be 'sweet' to make reference to until in about 10 to 20 years time when they're settled and happy - that's if they ever settle. I've heard of ladies asking guys out on dates, wooing but not proposing. If you really are his dream woman, he should take it from there. Max is that you give him a clue, use pictures of your friends proposals fams* your friend's friends often and make sure he sees your DP when you do that, but don't ever mention it to him, don't even gist him about the ones he knows except he asks you and don't show too much interest in giving him details of how it went down, the number of roses, candles etc.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hmmmm..... I like to believe I have an open mind and I've tried to analyze this matter from all angles to see if there is anything right about it and I've failed to come up with one. For starters how will the proposal go? Will she buy the ring, get on her knees and propose? Then if he says yes, will he put the ring on his finger or take it from her and put it on her finger? Will he scream for joy with tears in his eyes the way girls do? Will he start calling all his friends to spread the good news?
    Nne Biko nu, do not try it. There is no universe in which you won't regret it. Someone said that if you're giving him husband privileges then withdraw them, I really dunno what husband privileges are but that might be a good start, if you have been dating for 3 yrs and he's not proposed by now that you're 30 then you guys have to pause and talk about where the relationship is heading to before he'll tell you that another girl is pregnant for him and he wants to marry her. Whatever you do, don't propose I beg you. You'll upset the natural order of things, once that happens it's means you're ready to be the husband and him the wife. A man needs to feel that he's the man in the home.

    ReplyDelete

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