Thelma Thinks...

And by Grown we mean mentally, emotionally and psychologically mature.



1. You know where you stand. You are his girlfriend or you are a girl he’s dating but either way he’s not scared to define it. He’s not afraid that a girl will cry and run away if she doesn’t hear what she wants to, he wants a mature woman because he is a mature man.
2. You don’t have to prod him to become a real adult. He’s self motivated to improve on his own. If there’s an area of his life that needs improvement, he’s working on it long before you notice it.
3. Texting with him is peaceful. Sometimes you have conversations. Sometimes you make plans. But it’s never a power struggle of who initiates and who texts lasts. It’s not fishing for compliments or security. It’s simply a short form of communication.
4. He calls his mom. You don’t need to tell him to do this and he does it to keep in touch, not because he needs her stamp of approval on all his choices.
5. He has interests. Like actual interests. Not beer da…

This article is dedicated to all the women out there. We tend to put so much pressure on ourselves for no reason at all that we actually forget to live our lives for ourselves.
You don’t want to wake up one day to realise that you are clocking 60 and you haven’t done one thing that would have made you happy simply because you were too bothered about what people or society expected of you. Stop existing and start living. ***
My name is Sandra and this is my story…. The excitement of getting married and planning my wedding blinded me from seeing beyond the one or two day(s) event. It didn’t occur to me that I was going to move out of the comfort of my parent’s home where electricity wasn’t optional, it was an every second entitlement. Our inverter and generators were adequately maintained and we always had electricity 24/7. I guess that is why I never really understood why my fellow Nigerians complained about electricity, water and other issues until I moved out of my parents’ house.
E…

So earlier today Linda Ikeji put up a post about Swizz Beatz and wife, Alicia Keys on vacation with his ex wife (pictures above). The pictures show Swizz making out with wifey while his ex sat there (trying to look) unconcerned. As an aside, Alicia Keys says Swizz and his wife were already separated before they got together but I remember watching an episode of one of these reality TV shows (honestly can't remember which one right now) where his ex wife expressly stated that she and her husband where still very married and together when she heard that he was getting married to Alicia Keys, and shortly after he moved out.

But that's not what this post is about. Can you imagine yourself chillin/loungin'/hanging out with your Ex's present partner? Have you ever been in that situation? Are you/Can you be friends with your Ex's boo? 
Personally I don't think so, I feel there's always some unresolved stuff with Exs and although we may be friends or civil to each…

*Reader's Discretion. (Placed under advisement from a blog visitor)*


Time stood still the minute she walked in. All the men actually stopped what they were doing, the ladies looked upset and wives were suddenly uncomfortable. She walked with that carefree manner, knowing fully well that she had the attention of the whole room yet not at all affected by it. She was obviously used to it. She was tall. About 5'10" in those Louboutin heels. She had wide shoulders, a very narrow waist and even wider hips. Her makeup was perfectly done and her lips looked like they'd been deeped in blood. Rolake had a body made for sin, Rolake was a woman made for sin. After what felt like several minutes men tried to tear their eyes away from that body, her eyes, those lips. The women tried to act indifferent, most failed miserably. Rolake walked to the table where the bride's brothers sat. Toye stood up and greeted her in an exaggerated manner as usual. 
"Hey girlfriend! You loo…

1. "My ex-husband sprained his ankle badly while drunkenly dancing with one of our bridesmaids. His parents came up to our hotel room later that night to check on him, because he was so swollen. Needless to say, the only moaning coming from our room was him ... moaning in pain!"
2. "My husband passed out from drinking on the bus ride to the hotel from the reception. I spent the night making sure he was okay and finally eating something after not eating all day."
3. "I guess that's the one advantage of having a dry, Mormon wedding -- we weren't too drunk to have sex!"
4. "We had sex, but I barely remember it, because I was hammered! Keepin' it classy."
5. "We got married in Vegas, so we had a great time at a club in our hotel. But after a whole night of dancing and toasting, we went back to our suite and passed out."
6. "We got into an argument, because a group of his friends got drunk since we had open bar and was bei…

It's 1.30am and I should be getting some good sleep for the week ahead but hunger won't let me sleep and guilt won't let me eat. So I pinged a friend to chat and she tells me the most ridiculous thing ever. She says while having sex some days back she came and the bed was soaking wet, and she's been wondering why she peed during sex. I asked if she's considered the possibility that she squirted and she straight out told me that she does not believe in squirting.

Now if you don't know what I'm referring to by a woman squirting during sex then please skip this post. Don't google it o! I don't want to be the one responsible for teaching you "bad" things. Just keep it moving till I have another post. But for us who do, let's talk about it.

(Saturday) I said I was going to talk about last night. I was going to rant about the poor treatment at the bar last night, but since I already did that I'll move on. It was just a rather annoying night. So the girls and I ordered our cocktails and then salads, club sandwiches, fries etc. We talked about Men/Sex/Dating as usual and then somehow the gist moved on to spirit husbands and "pressing demons" (spiritual attacks in the sleep, AKA sleep paralysis) I don't even know how we started talking about all that. Anyways it was time to go, we asked for the bills and time came to pay... NO MONEY. I had transferred the money I needed for the night into my friend's account since I (deliberately) don't have an ATM card. We were both meant to settle the bills but when the bills came she found out that by some magic the card had disappeared. And none of us had any cash! That's how me and my girls spent another two hours sitting down and looking at the ceiling. W…

The only reason I'm writing this is because I'm stalling. I absolutely hate first dates! I've been putting this off for about a week and everyday I come up with excuses why I can't make it. I've given excuses from I have a late meeting, to I'm working late, to I had to go somewhere with my boss and some other hopefully plausible lies. Now the weekend is here and we're meant to meet at 6pm and it's 6.10 and I'm still cowering on the sofa while my friend is berating me, telling me that I'm going to lose this guy just the same way I lost others; constantly posting them till they get tired and fashi me. I'm worried as well... He called at 4pm and I told him the mechanic has my car and it should be here by 6. So now I'm wondering if I should tell him the mechanic disappointed me, or if I should just go get dressed and brave it.

Just after seeing this picture of this beautiful model who was beaten to a pulp because she told her Russian millionaire boyfriend that she wanted out of the relationship, I then saw this tripe below:

I keep wondering why some people say ''Never lay your hands on a woman, no matter what they do''. This is really absurd, but the truth is that any man who has never hit his wife, 2 things are involved - it's either he married an angel or he is a wimp.

Barely a few hours after reading the article on the new Kenyan law which enables Kenyan men to marry as many wives as they want... ,let's talk about this law first. From my understanding, Kenyan law has always supported polygamy, on the condition that the husband must first have the consent of the first wife to bring in a new wife or other wives. The men, not satisfied with this sought to pass to law a bill that would dispense with the clause which provided for this, so that the wives' consent will no longer be needed in taking other wives. Well this bill was passed into law and women, enraged, displeased, dissatisfied  "staged a walk out". I'm quite surprised that they are not protesting against the existence of that law in its entirety. 
While still thinking about this law and the general state of the world which is a big *YIMU* to Beyonce's Who Run The World-GIRLS, I got to the cafe/restaurant where I was to have drinks/dinner with friends, we were four i…

Ever since my teenage years long before I knew what love was, I've had one fear, one nagging question that bothered me; what if I meet the man of my dreams just a week after my wedding? Through the years I've come up with different answers and different suggestions, so when I saw the mail below I could almost relate with it. :
" I gave my girlfriend of two and a half years an engagement ring and just a little over a week later I met the woman of my dreams who is single and interested in having a relationship with me. How do I break things off with my girl without breaking her heart? I'm convinced without any iota of doubt that this new girl is The One. What would you advise? Why did I get engaged when I wasn't sure? Pressure! Some guys know what I mean..."
A blog visitor asked in her mail if it's possible to get married and find someone you prefer to your spouse. The answer to this is YES. It is very possible. In fact the likelihood that you would meet peop…

A few days ago, I bumped into an ex-boyfriend while shopping for a new phone at a local mall. We exchanged pleasantries and I politely declined to give him a hug because I found it very inappropriate. I offered him a warm handshake instead. While driving home, I laughed at myself and found it difficult to understand why I had clung on to the idea that we would get back together long after we had ended our relationship.
I had refused to tell my family or close friends the truth about our breakup as I felt he was going to come back to his senses and run back to my arms. I was aware he had moved on very fast. He was in a very healthy relationship with a younger woman who was also a family friend. The new lady, unlike me, participated in his family functions. I knew all this about his new life because I was secretly stalking him on Facebook at night. I’d make prank calls just so I could hear his voice or get his attention in whatever way I could without him knowing it was me.

Below is an excerpt of an interview with Chris Anderson, the organizer Of TED Ideas confab:
“You’ve easily got enough money despite your vast contributions to the foundation to make them all billionaires,” Anderson said of the Gates offspring. “Is that your plan for them?” “Nope, they won’t have anything like that,” Bill Gates said. “They need to have a sense that their own work is meaningful and important.”
I'm completely in support of teaching your kids to fish as opposed to merely giving them fish. I believe that the Gates' decision is the right, just and noble thing to do, and I think a lot of Billionaires in Nigeria should borrow a leaf from the Gates.But, imagine you're the child of Bill Gates or an equally wealthy billionaire. Would you understand and accept that the bulk of your father's vast wealth would be given to strangers (charity) while you're left to work for everything you need? Would you think your father's billions are your entitlement and it'…

Here goes:
.........

I have a long story but I will try and make it as short as possible. I’m a lady in her mid twenties with a good promising job and a car, I met my fiancé in August 2012, started dating October 2012 and he proposed December while we were both in school for our 
postgraduate programs. I had reservations about the proposal cuz I felt it was too early and he’s just trying to use that to hook me down but I accepted all the same cuz the relationship was still in its ‘honeymoon stage’ lol.

Fast forward a few months May 2013 I got employed even though I have some businesses I run on the side, while my fiancé is still struggling for a balance. He’s presently not in town cuz he just got a project he’s working on.

Meanwhile, there is this guy I met recently that I really like and would have considered if not that I am engaged. The feelings we have is mutual but he respects that i am in a relationship hence, our friendship. I hang out with him a lot and we have so much in common. We talk and play as f…

Dear Friend With Benefits, Hello and Good bye dear friend with benefits. I should have known from the start that when we part ways there won't be smiles, yet I can not cry, because I'm not allowed to, because you were merely a friend with benefits.

Did you really think that those nights we spent, making love... No, sorry, having sex for hours, while you made me come again and again, sating the almost insatiable tiger within me, till I was almost mad with pleasure... Then we'd cuddle up and chit chat about work and gossip about life, and I'd tell you about the guy stalking me, and you'd tell me about that girl who won't stop texting you... was just to pass time? 
Do you remember those days we went for pizza and ice cream, then to the sports bar to watch your team play, where we'd drink bottle after bottle of beer and then go back on home to catch up on our "benefits"?

I mentioned that some of my friends came into town for my birthday right? After we cleaned up we retired to the bed room but sleep didn't come immediately. We had to talk about everything, one of which included the wedding of Adaora Ufondu to Chief Emeka Offor. Some cast aspersions and called names, "gold digger" was thrown around often carefreely. Everyone was an accuser, judge and jury. I listened to various diverse opinions. The pros and cons of marrying an older man , marrying a wealthy man, marrying  for money. For some reason everyone was of the opinion that she married for money. I've on a couple of occasions asked "what if she actually loves him?" But before I get all the words out they shut me up.

The rules in some private universities in Nigeria leave a sour taste in the mouth. For some people it's just plain ridiculous. Why should adults be treated like that; no phones, no gadgets, no make up, no trousers, no heavy jewelry, limited freedom of movement, limited freedom of association with members of the opposite sex, inability to come and go as you please, compulsion to attend religious gatherings on and on and on it goes. It's outrageous really. How's the individual supposed to grow under such circumstances? After all the University is really where one learns life's lessons. It's where most of us develop ourselves and our characters.  How is an individual supposed to grow in an extension of high school. Actually, some high schools don't even have that many rules. We think about it and we scream "Never!". "I could never have attended a school like that". The picture above is for new rules in Covenant University, a school unpopular f…

I visited my friend at home. We were in the middle of a serious "life issues" conversation when I noticed her eyes twitch. Soon her hands were twitching too and she kept looking around nervously and swinging her legs restlessly. She stood up, sat down, stood up, paced the length of the living room, sat down, looked out the window, scratched her skin... All the while trying to focus on our gist. I watched her and waited for her to excuse herself. I knew her, I knew those signs all too well. She needed a stick.

What would you do if for 5 years you have been unemployed and unlucky in your job search. You've taken your CV everywhere, you've written tests and attended interviews but all to no avail. You have been living from hand to mouth and struggling to make ends meet. Then one day you get a call and get offered your dream job. Your basic salary is N350,000 monthly, with other allowances and privileges, including a company car and accommodation. The only problem is that the job is in a Alcohol/Tobacco company and you are a Born Again Christian and the Youth Leader in your local church. Will you take the job or turn it down?

A car mechanic is celebrating banking a massive £107,932,603.20 EuroMillions jackpot after telling his father 'this time tomorrow, I will be a millionaire.'
Neil Trotter, 41, from Coulsdon in Surrey, was so confident he’d win a prize he’d told his father and staff at his office last Friday lunchtime that he would be retiring  - before he even scooped the prize.  Mr Trotter bought £10 worth of Lucky Dip tickets on Friday after getting a 'funny feeling' that he had to play while on the drive to work. Later that evening, he discovered that he had matched five numbers and two Lucky Stars in the EuroMillions draw. He and partner of eight years Nicky Ottaway revealed today that they celebrated their win with two bottles of Budweiser beer on Friday night, before they spent a restless night excitedly contemplating how their lives would change.

In December, while on our way to Cold Stone, my friend *Vivian and I had ample time for random discussions as the traffic at the toll gate was epic. One of the things we talked about was when your man's sisters are the stumbling block in your relationship. I mentioned a friend of mine who has been dating her boo for a couple of years, I told Vivian that I was worried my friend was wasting her time because I did not think the guy was going to take the relationship to the next step and put a ring on it. My reasons for saying that? The boyfriend's sisters hate my friend! They do not like her and they don't even try to hide it. In fact it's so bad that they extended the dislike to me simply because I'm her friend. They try at every point to make her look bad to their brother and they've recruited their mother into their army of hate. And you know what that means right?
Now to be honest, my friend does have some "issues" that you wouldn't exactly wish…

This was the comments of some anonymous commenters on Laila Ikeji's blog after watching the BBC and Aljazeera clips of the NIS test recruitment stampedes.

"Baby you're getting old o! Baby you're old. What will you do nau?" was what a 'suitor' said at about 11pm last night. First off, that sentence alone has put him on my life and phone's blacklist. I have absolutely no patience or tolerance for people who do not know how to talk or people who refuse to think before they talk, especially someone who claims to want to be my husband! Just to make it clear, that sentence was to make me make up my mind and stop "doing shakara" because I'm running out of time.

Ijay emerged as the winner of the Beauty Of The Day contest.
Results are as follows.  Ijay: 6 votes.  Fidelia: 5 votes.  Ziggy: 5 votes.  Angela: 4 votes.  titi: 2 votes. Mide: 1 votes. Folashade: 1 vote. Aniella: 1 vote. 

Congrats Ijay! Please mail me; thelmathinks@gmail.com to claim your prize. Either a bottle of 100ml Burberry Weekend and a bottle of wine. Or 10,000 naira cash. 
............. Thanks a lot for your birthday wishes and prayers. I really do appreciate them. God bless....

After the stampede at the Nigerian Immigration Services' test venues that resulted in the deaths of at least seven people, Charles Novia took to his blog (charlesnoviadaily.com) to voice his opinion on the matter and speaks on Agriculture as an avenue for young people to make a living.
Read;

How do you feel about Public Display of Affection? Seeing two people holding hands, whispering in each other's ears, French kissing, stroking each other's arms, smooching, all those things that couples (supposedly) in love do IN PUBLIC!, in the full glare of people. 
Well I absolutely hate it!
The King and Queen of PDA are Tee Billz and Tiwa Savage and I've got the pictures to prove it!  Pictures below:

Dear My Birthday, I'm so glad you're here. I love you so so much. 
Ladies and Gents, please help me give thanks to God Almighty for the privilege of seeing another birthday. I'm so grateful for my life, my family, my friends, my well wishers, my not-so-well-wishers, and all my blog visitors. I have a very rich life and for that I'm grateful. I've got so much to be thankful for.
       It's so fantastic to have people that love you... Osayi came in from PH for my birthday yesterday the 15th, Ginika came the day before yesterday from Enugu, and I've got people coming from far distances to share my day with me. My life truly is rich. 
      I really want to thank God because I spent most of 2013 in the depths of hopelessness, depression, despair, confusion, loneliness and discontent. I remember crying sometime last year and when my sister asked why, I said "what do I have to live for? My life has no meaning. My life has no meaning. There's nothing in my l…