Skip to main content

6 Ways To Get Rid Of That Girl Who Just Won't Leave




A while ago, some friends and I were talking about breakups and the ingenious ways they managed to get rid of their girlfriends at different points in time and the topic was quite interesting to say the least. I’m sure every guy has been in a situation where they are trying to sever ties with a particular female and they’re not entirely sure how to go about it.

A lot of guys will agree with me when I say that there have been some situations when you couldn’t break up with a chick and you just started behaving like a d**k until she got the message and did the breaking up. I think it takes a lot of courage to break up with a woman and sometimes you don’t want to go through the stress of spelling it out.

It also gives the woman the bragging rights that she broke up with you, which I think is win/win. There is also the advantage that since you didn’t call it off officially you guys can still hookup for a while before she breaks it off.

Please note that the views and opinions expressed hereunder are not mine but from independent third parties – purely for research purposes.


Pick A Fight
Wake up one morning and be at knife’s edge all day. Remember, you’re just waiting for the littlest mistake to pounce upon. Blow it out of proportion and when I say blow it out, I mean nuclear proportions. Pick on anything, especially the things you like most about her, or you can just accuse her of flirting if she so much as looks at another male. Get really angry and mutter “I don’t think this is working” under your breath. If she doesn’t respond, say it louder, then storm out and go have some beers with your mates and make sure you ignore all her attempts to get in touch with you.


Make Up A Spiritual/Diabolical Connection
“My Pastor/Imam saw a vision and he said that we shouldn’t see each other anymore” is a classic. You can also become a born again and tell her you have to break up because y’all have had sex before. For maximum effect you can substitute the “Pastor/Imam” for “Native Doctor”. On this side of the globe people believe a lot in all these spiritual stuff and it has proven to be quite effective from my research and opinion poll.


Get One of Your Side Pieces to Harass Her
You can get her “called out” on Twitter and make sure the matter trends for a bit. Get your Twitter buddies to cyber bully her hopefully she’ll be mad enough to see you for the rat that you are and stay away.


Sleep With Her Close Friend or Family
One thing I have noticed about girls is that if your girlfriend gushes to her friends and family about how wonderful you are, chances are there is at least one scheming friend or relative that wants to sample your goodies. It’s now up to you to find out who that covetous female is and take her down. For added effect, get her pregnant.Make sure you take a lot of documentary evidence as it will come in handy during your breakup.


Give Her an STD
This a bit extreme but you can pull it off if by contracting some minor STD, nothing major…nothing a little penicillin wouldn’t fix, then transmit it to her at your earliest convenience. Make a fuss and yell at her for sleeping around and infecting you, call her some colorful names for full effect. If she’s cheating, she’ll probably be too embarrassed to make any fuss and she will leave you alone. If she isn’t, well…tough luck.


Get into the Witness Protection Program
Change your address, change your phone number, change your identity, grow a beard, disappear. Think about it, You may lose everything but at least you’ll be rid of her…and you’ll have a very cool beard.


Source: Bella Naija. Written by Doug E Douglas (a legal practitioner who lives and works in Lagos.)
...........

Why can't guys just tell a lady it's over? Why must they always do all these James Bond moves and frustrate a woman till she reaches breaking point and then does the breaking up? Friggin cowards. 

Comments

  1. Haha! James Bond die, Pussy Galore and Wonder Woman bury am! I had a guy that did the Witness Protection shit! God punished him and it was at a point I needed someone to go apeshit crazy on. So i put my FBI shades on and tracked the sun of a gun down. Lets just say he'll never forget me again*devil smile*. Don't try that shii with sm people, if you want to break up, man up and break up. Afterall na u carry ur leg waka enter, y u wan use back comot? Ziggy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol I know and trust you Ziggy. Uju u-a. I know u have been a. Victim of pick a fight and also another you should add compare her to your ex.

      Delete
    2. I have been a victim *

      Delete
  2. Lmao. I agree. Men are wimps when it comes to breaking up. They'll give you the run around till u get tired and end it yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lol @ witness protection. That's too extreme abeg, when it's not that my life is at stake. The last time I broke up with someone these were my words(don't judge me) "I think we should end this before we end up hating each other for life, I wouldn't want a situation where I'd see u in public and not be able to say hi." There were tears but I think it worked pretty well cos we're still shagging but not dating. Hehe

    ReplyDelete
  4. Why go through all these when a simple and carefully said " baby this relationship is no longer 'werking' for me and I think we should call it quit" will send the message across.It will hurt yeah... But its mature and both of you can stil be friends. Guys I smh for una.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa

Giveaway Finale!

Happy Sunday y'all. 
This is the conclusive part of #WCG. 
All the N25,000 recipients have received their cash.
All the students have also received their N10,000. 
Once again guys please comment under any of the posts, or this one that you've received your money. Thanks. 

So moving forward, this final giveaway contains 
1. N10,000 for 5 people. 

2. 3 kimonos from Julian's dressmakers. 
3. 3 pairs of Palm slippers from WaleOnibata. (Gents) 
4. 2 pairs of shoes from Courtney's Closet. (Ladies. Size 9 and Size 11). 

5. 1 human hair wig from Gabby's Wigs'n'Weaves. You pick from one of the wigs below. 
6. 3 cakes from CakesandCream 

7. A getaway at CitiHeight Hotel Ikeja for 3 people. (Who can each bring one person along).  


As I said earlier, Kon has already won a stay at CitiHeight and Clare, a kimono. So those gifts are now available for 2 people each. 
There is no competition. We are only going to play a game. 
I have each gift item listed out in numbers. Number 1 to 100. …