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An Inconvenient Situation. - Short Story.

*Reader's Discretion. (Placed under advisement from a blog visitor)*

Time stood still the minute she walked in. All the men actually stopped what they were doing, the ladies looked upset and wives were suddenly uncomfortable. She walked with that carefree manner, knowing fully well that she had the attention of the whole room yet not at all affected by it. She was obviously used to it. She was tall. About 5'10" in those Louboutin heels. She had wide shoulders, a very narrow waist and even wider hips. Her makeup was perfectly done and her lips looked like they'd been deeped in blood. Rolake had a body made for sin, Rolake was a woman made for sin. After what felt like several minutes men tried to tear their eyes away from that body, her eyes, those lips. The women tried to act indifferent, most failed miserably. Rolake walked to the table where the bride's brothers sat. Toye stood up and greeted her in an exaggerated manner as usual. 

"Hey girlfriend! You look ah-maaaaahzing! Damn those Loubs! You go girl" he said snapping his fingers about three times, his head thrown back in uproarious laughter. 

"Bloody faggot" Derin said in a very coherent whisper and we all laughed.

"I swear, we should lock that man-woman in a dark room and beat the gay out of him" Tony said
"Abi? Then we'll bend him over and shove a sandpaper vibrator up his ass hole, then we'll see if he can still allow men to fuck him after that" Bolu said and everyone laughed at the visuals.

"Kai! Bolu you harsh gan! Sandpaper vibrator? Choi! Him need am sha. Them never brush am well na why he dey wear lipgloss dey waka up and down. Bloody homo!" I spat. 

For the next few minutes we called Toye names and in turn talked about ways to make him suffer for his 'gayness'. Toye was the bride's younger brother. A homosexual who wore his gay like a badge of honour. He wore tight shirts and even tighter trousers that always gripped and outlined his penis and buttocks. He always walked with a sway in his hips and he occasionally wore makeup. He had never hidden his sexuality and his family, although not pleased, had had no choice but to accept him the way he was. 
     Damn I hated him, I hated him so much I wished we could make reality of our jokes to inflict pain on him. Something in me made me desperate to see him cry, to hear him beg. To see him bleed even. But the visuals were all I had and I contented myself with that for the time being. 

My mind moved on to other, more pleasant things. 

"Ehen see that chic" Ehi was saying. "Na she been dey straff Dayo" 

We all turned to see a short virginal, almost mousy lady , we found it nearly difficult to imagine that she was the same person Dayo said gives head like a pornstar and screams like a banshee. Oh well, that just goes to show... 

"Hey fellas" we heard the husky feminine voice behind us and we all turned around. 

Rolake was at our table, in flesh! Not a figment of our imagination. Up close we took in her clear caramel skin and supple breasts that were barely covered in flimsy chiffon. I instinctively looked down at Ehi's groin and could see the outline of an erection forming. I knew my friends too well. I tried to hold in my laughter and returned my attention to the goddess. 

"So Tega, how've you been?" She asked, looking directly at me. I had to fight an impulse to look behind me to check if it was I who she was talking to. But she called my name. How did she know my name?

"Errr, not bad. Good, really good in fact" I said, trying hard to sound confident. 

"You'll be at the after-party tonight?" She inquired, her brows raised. 

"Only if you'll be there" I said with a suggestive smile, getting my sexy back. 

"Of course". She smiled and walked away. 

"Tega Tega! Tega my main man! Tega the ladies' man! Bros I dey jealous you o!" All around the table my friends hailed me. 

So Rolake wanted me? Interesting. 

"Hmmm, you really are a good dancer" she whispered in my ears.

"You're not bad either" I said to her. 

"You put naughty thoughts in my head, you know? Let's get out of here" she said, looking straight in my eyes, holding my stare. Who was I to argue?

I put my hand around her waist and lead her out of the place. I could see the boys give me thumbs up from the corner of my eyes, I smiled knowingly. As we walked out I saw Toye slow-dancing with a skinny guy, they had their arms around each other and the skinny guy tried to be just like Toye and pretend he did not care. Unfortunately it wasn't quite working for him and he came off as uncomfortable and slightly embarrassed. Why hadn't anyone thrown these clowns into a cell? Didn't the anti-gay law promise to lock them up for 14years? I returned my focus to the bombshell beside me and tried to smile at what lay ahead. 

Rolake's lips were on mine before we even got into the room

"Damn Tega, you do things to my body. You're a real man Tega, make me feel like I woman tonight" she said hungrily. Her voice was hoarse with lust and passion. Again she kissed me hungrily, tearing open my shirt and running her hands over my well-sculpted packs. She pushed me to the bed, tired of standing on tiptoes, trying to reach my 6'5" frame. 

I matched her passion and kissed her back. I was about to unzip her dress when my phone began to ring.

"Don't answer it babe. Don't. Make love to me" she purred. 

"I'll do just that Hun, but let me take this call. Just give me a minute." I said, grabbing my phone and rushing into the bathroom. 

I immediately cut off the call and opened my phone's gallery. In a few seconds I found the pictures I was looking for. I immediately felt myself get hard. No matter how many times I looked at them, everytime felt like the first time. I reached into my boxers and stroked myself. I could feel my tension build.... But this time it was different. Maybe because I'd spent the whole day trying not to look at him, trying to take my eyes off him, hating him for how he proudly flaunted himself. Hating him more for slow-dancing with that skinny guy. Hating him even more because I felt like I wasn't good enough for him. 

scrolled through his pictures on my phone and instantly forgot Rolake and her womanly body on my bed. I needed a man. I needed Toye who's pictures filled my phone memory to capacity. I needed him to hold me the way he held that unworthy skinny guy and make me feel like a man, I wanted it more desperately than Rolake wanted me to make her feel like a woman; something I would never, could never do. 

Damn! Being gay was such an inconvenient situation. I put down my phone and zipped up my trousers. In a minute I would barge into the room and frantically scream words like "emergency" "accident" "terrible". I would grab my car keys before she can form any meaningful words. I would head for the closest gay bar and discretely get someone to relieve me of this tension. And then I can think of stories to tell the boys when they inevitably ask about my sexcapade with Rolake; every man's dream. 

I was getting tired of living a lie. But not tired.... not brave enough, to live the truth. 

The End. 


  1. There should have been a *readers discretion* on this post. If I had been warned earlier then I wouldn't have read it. I didn't expect this rubbish from you Thelma. Don't turn your beautiful blog to one of those. Iv been addicted to your blog since I found it last month. I really hope this doesn't discourage me.

    1. Oh pls shut up! Homosexuality isn't going anywhere. You better get used to it or you might as well go live inside a bush with your "righteous" self. Relax a bit and go have a drink 😉

    2. If you're not open-minded then the truth is you probably shouldn't visit this blog. I write based on what's happening in the world around me and I've never placed a limitation on what I choose to write about on my blog. In this story I merely tried to delve into the mind of someone living in the closet as thousands of people are. I'm not a saint and have never portrayed myself as one. Neither am I concerned about writing stuff that pleases the crowd. @ viewer's discretion; I'm sorry to have offended your sensibilities, but when you see "sex" as part of my introduction and still choose to read the posts, then I wonder why you're so 'shocked'.

    3. I am the 1st anon. Please permit me to act a bit ratchet for a second.
      To the stupid fucked up bitch called simply bells or wateva that doesn't have a brain to comprehend, bitch suck on something.
      That done and moving on...
      Dear Thelma, my comment was my first reaction immediately I finished reading this post. It might hav come off a bit harsh but it wasn't the intention. When I open blogs and read viewer's discretion, I NEVA go ahead to open dem just to save myself of things that will ruin my day or mind. I'm highly disciplined like that. So I avoid a lot of things. That's just me.
      I'm well aware of the society that we live in and its been my personal choice to avoid a lot and not necessary judge. I tend to give deep thoughts to very unnecessary things and I didn't want to do that with this post. Well that's that.

    4. 1st Anon, I appreciate your explanation but if I were to consider everybody's single feeling, mine inclusive, then I'll probably get nothing written.
      Indulge me and tell me what exactly bothered you about this story, I'm really curious and a bit confused.
      Lastly you're permitted to act ratchet whenever you so choose but calling Simply Bellz names was not very nice or necessary. I think she just reacted to the harshness of your own comment.

    5. ms/mr anonymous awwww.. did i hit a nerve darling ? you sound so bitter.. like i said earlier go have a drink.. cheers

  2. Wonders shall never end o.This blog is for adults,if your mind cannot cope with the creativity put into writing this post please get the F* off this blog.This is Nwando's blog,she writes what she wants,if you are not happy with it aunty stop reading now.Anuofia

  3. Sigh... I just hope things get better for people living a lie because it can be very hard and sometimes lead to depression worse case suicide.

  4. Readers discretion. LOL. That's nice. When I saw that warning I wondered what could be so shocking about the Post until I started seeing homosexual clauses, then I discontinued.

    Thelma I understand where Anon 8:27pm is coming from, even though he/she didn't make the comment respectfully. You remember a Post you did sometime about the world going haywire(can't really remember the exact title), and it ended with protecting your kids from this chaos? Something that had to do with "Thinking" or so? This Post should have ended with a soothing word of encouragement to those living in a "closet" in order that they find help to their abnormalities. Helping our family and leaving strangers to wallow in their closet lives doesn't speak well of our human nature. Yeah we aren't saints afterall, but aren't we meant to be? Aren't we meant to leave legacies in this world so others can step confidently on our footprints? What will be our defence before The THRONE when we have run our race? We aren't saints, but we're made in The Image of GOD and that tells us that we're more than capable of being saints.

    There's a limit to what the human mind can take and sometimes when we fight against most absurdity it's because we're trying to remain sane in our imperfection. It gives us more hope of redemption when we know little and accept little than when we know more. You may argue that it's all SEX. Well...yeah maybe, but we also have different ways of killing a human. Which way of killing a human is more "pleasant" to the mind? A shot on the head; a slit on the throat; or someone burnt alive? Your guess is as good as mine. We can take-in the picture of the first two, even though horrible, but the last...

    This blog is great, and I love the open mindness of it and the maturity from all visitors, but please don't be offended when a visitor is disturbed by what he/she reads and points that out, no matter how bone-headed the complaint sounds. It makes the blog more accommodating. Be Blessed.

    1. Like. Like. Like.

    2. Memphis I really appreciate your point. But this is fiction. It's neither for nor against anything. Frankly speaking I was not offended by the first Anon's comment, that's why I took his/her advice and added the discretion. If I have an issue with/or offended by someone's comment, if I do not want free expression, then I can easily delete said comments.
      I did not intend to offend anyone, and Memphis the last thing I am is pretentious. Even if I do strive for sainthood I'm not quite there yet and therefore my expressions will not be one of a saint.
      Like I said, this is a piece of fiction. It is not intended to discourage or encourage homosexuality. It is me expressing the words, thoughts and feelings of people (real and fictitious) as I know and imagine them to be.
      If the first anon decides not to visit this blog again based on this short story it's completely understandable. That said, I write to express, not to please.

  5. Long before I complained of the world going crazy, I have and will always preach love. If you would allow yourself look beyond the obvious you would probably notice that I made the protagonist a homophobe, yet a homosexual. Therein lies the message.

  6. I really reading this story. What is the fuss about. Is it about the homosexual theme or is it because of the sexual nature? In my opinion this is a very well told story that so many people can relate with so i don't see what the problem is.

  7. @Memphis, Respect!!!!... That said, as always I give it to you Thel, you've got amazing skill. keep it up love.

  8. Hmm...didnt see the twist coming. Cmon girl,ur killing hot guys for me. 1st hot guy became a spirit husband now this one is gay...cmon!!!

    1. Speaking of hunks,spirit husbands and gay,is it possible for one to have a spirit gay partner? Just asking...

  9. Nice one Thelma. Very relatable. If only people knew that even some of their close friends are in the closet then they would think differently.

  10. Love this! Tells a real issue that many don't realize how much of it is going on. Kudos 'Ndo!


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