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And While We're On The Rape Matter... (Don't Get Caught In TheCrossfire)

There's just one point I'm trying to make with this post. I'm not going to write an epistle on rape and why we need to speak out against it (we really do) and all what not. This post was sparked by a sentence I saw on a post on Bella Naija.

"It does not matter if a man finds a naked woman twerking on his bed, if she says NO, she really, really means NO”.

Yes, men really need to understand that NO means NO. I wanted to do a post on this in December but I did not want to offend a "friend" whom I knew would take it personal if he saw that on my blog, for certain reasons, so I put it off. But it's never too late to say this. Just like the person said above, even if she is twerking naked on your bed, once she says no, then get up and go take a cold shower. Whatever you do, DO NOT TOUCH HER. Worst case scenario, throw her out. Yes I said it. Tell her to leave your house if her presence is making it difficult to keep your dick in check. 

But this post is not for the men. It's for the women who "twerk naked in men's beds". Sister bhet why? When I read that sentence I was reminded of something in Tort called contributory negligence. In relation to that sentence, a man should take No as No, and is guilty if he doesn't and thus rapes said woman. Yet, the woman played her own part in the rape (and should receive part of the blame). Sorry if you hate me for saying this but I just had to. WOMEN PLEASE STOP PUTTING YOURSELVES IN COMPROMISING SITUATIONS. JUST STOP IT! 
      You go visit a guy at home, one who's not related to you by blood, you stay over and spend the night, you sleep in bed with him in a pair of bum-shorts and a flimsy top, but when he gets hard and starts to touch you, you say No. And when he forces you and has his way, you cry rape. Yes, you were raped. And I sympathize with you, I really do. But you could have avoided that situation by not putting yourself at all in that situation. Please, if you're not ready to put out, then you have no business (seducing) him in his home. 

I am not saying that every man will rape a girl in his bed. MOST men won't. God has given us the ability to control ourselves and a lot of men actually possess that self control. I and millions of other women have been fortunate to meet such men. I say this because I have been stupid too, I've put myself in compromising situations in the past, and thankfully the guys have always been disciplined and decent enough to take No to mean No, no matter how hard it was. (But not everyone has been so lucky). 

Yet, just as I saw another comment read;

"In Fela's voice *when she tell u No No,don't mind her na shakara oloje,she wan do* "(on Linda Ikeji's blog)

Some stupid WEAK men will always say No means Yes. (After all you're with him, in his house, maybe even in his bed.... So no means yes.). They will say it's just shakara, initial gra gra. What I've noticed from my experience with men over the years, for some men, the mere fact that you are in his house implies that you are willing to have sex with him. And although he may not be so sure, as a man, he will 'try his luck'. 

We women really need to be careful. You can not knowingly put yourself in the middle of a crossfire and when you get shot you're shocked, surprised, annoyed, betrayed, confused. No love, it don't work that way. You don't want to get shot, stay away from the crossfire. 
      Yet there are those who are miles away from the crossfire and still get hit by a stray bullet. There are several thousands of women who have been raped by no fault of theirs at all. Who have been raped under thousands of circumstances that they or anyone could never have fathomed. Those who have been raped at gun point, those who have been beaten and forced to submission, those who have been gang-raped, those who have innocently let men into their homes and then got raped by the same men, those who have been raped by members of their own families. So many circumstances. I can never say I imagine how it feels to be in that situation, because no matter how hard I try, I cannot imagine the pain, the fear, the despair, the hurt, the powerlessness and the anger women who have been raped must have felt, and still feel. My heart bleeds for every woman who has been sexually abused, I wish that men who rape will be castrated and fed their penises before being made to serve prolonged sentences. Especially those who rape in gangs. 

I will end with this munched tweet from the Nigerian Police, (who have not always been helpful with rape cases in Nigeria).


  1. Spot on dear. Most times we contribute to the reasons why we are raped,we can't deny that fact.

  2. Spot on Thelma. Unfortunately no matter how you preach, some ladies will just not listen and continue to "twerk naked in men's beds". To them, Rape victims shouldn't be blamed, no matter what.

  3. I've said this countless times but you'd hear people say that even if a lady struts around naked in front of a guy, she shouldn't be raped. Rapists must have a special place in hell but then again, a word is enough for the wise.

    Nice job as always, Thel.

  4. Exactly! Well done again T. Let me just reiterate the point. Women, instead if twerking naked in his bed in bum shorts, cast & bind in buba in his living room. LOL! Men, NO means NO! There's NO shakara. Just control that D of urs puleeez!

  5. i stopped reading after the bum shorts.. now what if they were in a relationship or even married.. I can sleep naked and still not want to have sex. if he forces me physically.. stranger or boyfriend of hubby, that is rape!. Il go back to reading it.

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. boyfriend or hubby (typo). i can be half naked but I'm still not asking for it..


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