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Are Catholics Really That Bad? (Single and Searching Blog-Visitor Asks)



A blog visitor asked me this question. We just had a very indepth conversation and it occurred to me that I've never though about this. 

Blog visitor is male and in his early 30s. We were discussing marriage and why he isn't married and at some point he said to me "Thelma let me be honest, I meet a lot of girls but one of the main problems is that they all say they cannot marry a catholic". He said his Ex once wanted to introduce him to her father but on the condition that he doesn't mention that he's catholic because her father hates Catholics. 
      He said, you would think that there are a lot of catholic girls in Lagos but when you start searching you'll find that there are actually very few, at best most girl used to be catholic but now they've left the Church for other churches. And, they all say they cannot marry a Catholic. (He's not adamant about marrying a Catholic girl but would like to wed in the Catholic Church and would like his children to be raised catholic. But the problem seems to be that most girls would rather not marry from the Catholic Church at all). 


This also reminded me of my darling friend who is a "strong" member of Christ Embassy. She had been dating her boo for a while and these two people were so fantastic together, it even hurts me to use the word "were" instead of "are". Eventually he proposed, as we all expected but my darling sister said "Catholic? Mba nu!". She said she doesn't have to marry from Christ Embassy, but will never marry from the Catholic Church. I think she had hoped to bring him to Christ Embassy but he himself is a staunch catholic. So that's how it ended o! He's married to someone else now, and she's engaged to another guy. Both of them never stopped loving each other but my friend could not take that step, not even for love. 

Besides marriage and relationships, some people in general turn their noses away when they here you're catholic. I remember during an interdenominational prayer and fasting session last year one of the counselors asked what church I attend. When I told her I'm catholic she did a doubletake and looked at me as if I told her it was me who killed Jesus! 

Is it the belief that Catholics worship Mary, or that the Rosary is a form of idol worship or the orthodox beliefs and mannerisms that make non-Catholics very intolerant of Catholics?

But back to the matter at hand, are Catholics that bad that a young woman of marriageable age, who's single and searching would rather stay single and searching than marry a good, decent, hardworking young Catholic man?

And while we're on the topic, when a couple is from two different denominations, do you think they should remain in their respective churches after marriage? And if not, who should make the move, the husband or the wife? (In all the marriages I know of it's the wives that made the move). 

Are Catholics really that bad?

Comments

  1. Thelma, tough question. Wait let me ask ifa........i'll be back

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yap, i'm bck. Ifa has requested for recharge card before any response to d query. Mtn 1500 to be specific. Send it to me, no is 08036457241, i sure will deliever. Ifa greets you

      Delete
    2. thelma, ifa is waiting

      Delete
  2. yap, i'm bck. Ifa has requested for recharge card before any response to d query. Mtn 1500 to be specific. Send it to me, no is 08036457241, i sure will deliever. Ifa greets you

    ReplyDelete
  3. 4 real?! Personally I̶̲̥̅̊
    fnk dat is childish.I̶̲̥̅̊
    dnt Ơ̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡
    any reason nt to marry a catholic as far as I̶̲̥̅̊
    love him.biko he shud come nd meet me *eyelashes*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Steffi, I would really like to hook you guys up o! (If you're serious)

      Delete
    2. Hi i dnt mind d hook up too o,its abt who d Man is,aint a fantic

      Delete
  4. Many people avoid Catholics because their ways are different. Mary worship, saint worship, rosary, like Muslims etc. I wouldn't want to marry a catholic either, but if I love him, his denomination won't be an obstacle.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Point of correction, we dont worship mary or saints. Mary is adored as the virgin mother of Jesus. would we rather worship the likes of Chris, TB, just to metion a few?????????

      Delete
  5. A lot of us have been CONVINCED Catholics worship Mary (idolatry).
    And it's not only about Catholics, same goes for Cherubim & Seraphim as well as Celestial guys/babes
    It's the way we are in this part of the world.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'll wait for responses as I'm Catholic too and experiencing the same thing. I really want to know why there's such hate for us from other churches.
    I've never been one to judge anyone's religion because I believe everyone was given a brain and a conscience to decide for themselves. As a matter of fact, what most of us fail to realize is that church we attend today is a result of where we were born, grew up, society etc. If I was born and raised in India I'd probably be Hindu, Saudi Arabia and I'd most likely be Muslim, so I do not judge anyone's choice, go to where you feel most at peace. Funny part, is that the nicest people I've met or known are atheist, most Muslims are more disciplined than Christians, if you ever meet a Christian that used to be a Muslim you'll be astonished at the level of piousness and discipline. Most of us just throw words about without even knowing the mysteries of this world. They are too much to even fathom. Like Ghandi said "I like the Christ of the Christians but the Christians of Christ". The hypocrisy in Christendom is appalling. We call God at every given opportunity but do we really deserve to. Only Christians judge or castigate other religions, why? Ignorance
    I'm catholic and I'm proud, unfortunately I've never dated one, sad. The only person I've ever loved couldn't marry me cos of my religion, so I've decided that instead of going through that again I'll wait till I meet one I love and can live with because my children will end up worshipping the way their mother does, I know that now

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @ Steele, God bless your gentle soul. Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi for u.

      Delete
  7. Don't see anything wrong in marrying a Catholics. And Catholics aint that bad.most people don't find the bowing to images and all funny I inclusive even thou am a catholic I have my reservations and limits.

    ReplyDelete
  8. .......any woman that is filtering based on christian denomination is probably in her early twenties. When she gets to 30+ nobody go tell am! Anyone who is shallow enough to judge anyone based on religion is weak and is not matured enough to be in any relationship. The fact is that real people find love in strange places.
    For the records, the Catholic church brought Christianity thus far from AD. Anyone that does not like Catholics should not celebrate any of the Christian holidays because they were originated by them. Some folks have a sorry way of inventing shit!

    ReplyDelete
  9. There has been a lot of misunderstanding about Catholics. I've gotten used to the hate also. Most non-Catholics don't believe I'm one when I tell them I'm one. 90% of non-Catholics get us all wrong. The most obscene accusation is that we worship Mary....Hahahahaha. I always tell people that if Akpo tells you he eats eba every afternoon at home, why debate with him on that ground; declaring that he eats fufu? For years we have declared that we worship no other but The BLESSED TRINITY (GOD), yet people keep on with "Catholics worship Mary". I don't get it.

    By the way, I'm open to any questions for those who want some answers about Catholics.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How do you justify confessing to a person? Doesn't God forgive sins that you need to go for confession?

      Delete
    2. I never knew people looked at these things.. I thought one being a Christian was good enough.. so it's been subdivided on who will not marry who because she's catholic ? I am a catholic lady and I could care less if a guy is catholic or not. as long as we worship God that is good. it's not that deep guys. there are more PRESSING issues to handle.

      Delete
    3. Anon 8:46pm, please read John 20 vs 22-23, Matthew 16 vs 19, 18 vs 18.

      I assume you heard about an alleged boko haram member confessing at SCOAN?

      Delete
    4. For John 20, start from verse 19 to get a clearer picture

      Delete
  10. My girlfriends with d best marriages are married to men who are staunch catholic men. So I really cannot comprehend I cannot marry a catholic foolish talk. Abeg bring me a catholic man maaake I marry am fast fast.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seconded
      born an anglican, raised pentecostal, how on earth did I become a catholic?
      cz i married the best man in the world.

      Delete
  11. sighhh..is this really a problem ? I was born into a catholic home in Nigeria and going to church was really interesting. Now I moved and the catholic churches here are boring to me so I sometimes go to the nigerian redeem church. So I am open minded in dating/marrying a catholic, anglican or pentecostal guy. We all pray to one GOD. we do not worship Mary, we honour her as she is the holiest saint. she's an intercessor and she prays to God on behalf of mankind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NOW, WHY WOULD MARY PRAY TO JESUS ON BEHALF OF MANKIND?..JOHN 14:6- Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me'. My dear.. Salvation is personal. REVELATIONS 3:20- 'Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me'.

      I wouldn't Advise any intending couple who share different denominations to get married cos it's gonna cause havoc in the home.
      AMOS 3:3- 'Two can't walk together, unless they agree.

      Delete
    2. Anon 1:37am, you see your misconception? James 5 vs 16: *Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.* Is Mary not righteous as a Saint? Won't the prayers of a saint be more powerful than those of sinners like us? Shouldn't you gladly welcome her prayers for you, or in such a case "Salvation is personal", hence you need no one to pray with you and for you? Even saint Paul also asks his brethren to pray for him.

      I sure hope you know the true meaning of an intercessor. Abraham, Jacob, Moses, Aaron, David...were intercessors. JESUS intercedes with HIS Blood, and that's why HIS Priesthood is perfect. But that doesn't rule out the fact that we have or had others who intercede through prayers.

      Delete
    3. Memphis u dey burst my head sha. Lol

      Delete
  12. marriage is a big thing and i dont believe in having different faith or religion from my spouse. i tell myself i cant get married to someone from deeper life, or mfm, or cele or C&S. its not dat im judging them, or that their believes are wrong infact are av a lot of frnds dat are from this denominations and i respect their believes. but marriage is a BIG thing. to marry someone from any of this denominations, i av to be sure that we both share a deep love cos a lot of compromises av to be made.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I had the same belief about catholics. My uncle wasn't allowed to marry the love of his life cos she attends a Catholic church. Then I fell in love with a Catholic too... fear catch me o. didn't know how to tell my dad. I told my bf (husband now) to lie to my dad that he attends our own denomination now but was born a Catholic at their first meeting. We are very happy now and I couldn't have asked for a better man. (btw Thelma, me and Google have finished our fight, yipee)

    ReplyDelete
  14. For me, Christian na Christian... also long as your faith is based on the WORD.
    That aside, everyone has their own personal preferences... I can marry a catholic but however I cannot marry a 'white garment' church member. THIS IS A PERSONAL PREFERENCE & I OWE NO EXPLANATION FOR THAT. It's like preferring Caucasians or dark-skinned guys, or tall babes...ALL NA SPEC!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'm a full catholic and I have no problem marrying from any church..we all worship one God at the end of the day so why discriminate amongst one another.. I serzly don't think this is an issue..lol..but hey people don't know what they want.it all balls down to ur faith what you believe in..what works for A can't work for B..hmmmm sad tho..I pity all u girls/boys picking where ur babe/guy worships cos ur Mr/Mrs right would pass u by without u knowing...lol..Nwando mbok pass me that catholic dude..lol..we 4 girlz in ma house so make e come pick which one e want..lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. likeee. i never knew that was even an issue! and you come and hear "men/women are scarce" ! are you kidding me !. you meet a person that has EVERYTHING you desire and is also a Christian but not just in your denomination and there's trouble ? lol trust when some of them seeking for a partner at age 35 being a catholic / anglican / pentecostal man or woman will not be an issue.

      Delete
  16. Most of these comments are just ignorant, Catholics don't worship Mary, they just respect the mother of God, Catholics don't also bow to images, in my opinion I think a lot of pastors are responsible for the hatred/dislike of other denominations and most people who think that way are just ignorant. In my expire cue though I've never met anyone who has a problem with marrying Catholics or dating one.

    ReplyDelete
  17. It's a whole lot of misconceptions and complaints that's the cause.
    1.; worshipping Mary which is wrong. What I tell people who argue that with me is, we catholics honour her. In fact during the celebration of mass, which is like our highest form of worship, penance and devotion, we say just one hail Mary. Sometimes in some parishes I've been, the lay reader forgets sef!
    2. We bow to images in worship. I say, it's people who out of "reverence " bow to those images. The only image I see Priests bow to is the Crucifix. Maybe I'm wrong. Also, even if they did bow it's because all items in God's consecrated house is sacred. That's why in the old testament it was wrong to take the gold plates and eat from them or even lay idols at the table of temples. In the new, Jesus chased out those people trading, because it's His father's, house tables inclusive!
    3. Confessions to priest- the power was given to the anointed disciples, whatever sin you bound on earth is bound in heaven and whatever you loose on earth is loose in heaven.
    4. Holy Communion ; at the last supper, Jesus said the bread and wine after He blessed them; which is what catholics do at consecration, became His flesh and blood, and He said "do this in memory of me". Erm...these days some protestant churches "share communion o!"
    5; "catholics kneel and stand too much during service!" LOL! I agree abeg! But then it's a tradition. But other churches stand during praise and worship, prophesying good to themselves and other times na! Besides, a little "shakeup" is good for the body jare! You wan kneel or sit down or stand throughout ni?! Let your blood move biko! *bbm eyelashes*
    6; catholic church is boring and dry. Sometimes I agree to "being dry" as compared with others, because we usually don't always use serious jazz instruments and loud songs...but these days things are changing o! with some priests encouraging off-hymn-book songs.
    7. Too strict doctrines and recitations ; we don't just preach, we adore, glorify, reverence, sacrifice, celebrate, appreciate God's holiness and power. Don't all these require rules of some sort. Besides we all need to follow some kinda path, so that every catholic worldwide doesn't miss out on any part if the benefits of the mass. You get?
    That's all I can remember. I think it's also fear of being able to cope with doctrines, procedures alongside wrong information that makes ladies especially refuse to date or marry catholic guys. I noticed that most guys don't see nothing wrong with catholics. Some even say they'd rather date one than some church they don't know of. Even Muslims say so too!
    Long epistle!!!!! And for possible typos, bear with me e jo. Ose.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @ #7, one of the Rev. Fathers in my Parish is like that. He's so "new school". I won't lie, sometimes I feel weird hearing him "preach" as opposed to "sermonizing". But I live to partake in his praise and worship, although it's usually quite brief because of the time limitation.

      Delete
    2. We honour Mary, agreed. But how many Catholics can differentiate btw honouring Mary and worshiping her? I have had an incidence of a woman calling me aside only to ask me why I passed the grotto without bowing down to the blessed virgin ? What do you make out of that?

      Delete
    3. @ Thelma, I can relate with the weird feeling, lol. I used to feel that way.
      @ Nkem, people have their choices to make. Bottom line is, the Church doesn't advocate worshipping Mary.

      Delete
  18. It's a whole lot of misconceptions and complaints that's the cause.
    1.; worshipping Mary which is wrong. What I tell people who argue that with me is, we catholics honour her. In fact during the celebration of mass, which is like our highest form of worship, penance and devotion, we say just one hail Mary. Sometimes in some parishes I've been, the lay reader forgets sef!
    2. We bow to images in worship. I say, it's people who out of "reverence " bow to those images. The only image I see Priests bow to is the Crucifix. Maybe I'm wrong. Also, even if they did bow it's because all items in God's consecrated house is sacred. That's why in the old testament it was wrong to take the gold plates and eat from them or even lay idols at the table of temples. In the new, Jesus chased out those people trading, because it's His father's, house tables inclusive!
    3. Confessions to priest- the power was given to the anointed disciples, whatever sin you bound on earth is bound in heaven and whatever you loose on earth is loose in heaven.
    4. Holy Communion ; at the last supper, Jesus said the bread and wine after He blessed them; which is what catholics do at consecration, became His flesh and blood, and He said "do this in memory of me". Erm...these days some protestant churches "share communion o!"
    5; "catholics kneel and stand too much during service!" LOL! I agree abeg! But then it's a tradition. But other churches stand during praise and worship, prophesying good to themselves and other times na! Besides, a little "shakeup" is good for the body jare! You wan kneel or sit down or stand throughout ni?! Let your blood move biko! *bbm eyelashes*
    6; catholic church is boring and dry. Sometimes I agree to "being dry" as compared with others, because we usually don't always use serious jazz instruments and loud songs...but these days things are changing o! with some priests encouraging off-hymn-book songs.
    7. Too strict doctrines and recitations ; we don't just preach, we adore, glorify, reverence, sacrifice, celebrate, appreciate God's holiness and power. Don't all these require rules of some sort. Besides we all need to follow some kinda path, so that every catholic worldwide doesn't miss out on any part if the benefits of the mass. You get?
    That's all I can remember. I think it's also fear of being able to cope with doctrines, procedures alongside wrong information that makes ladies especially refuse to date or marry catholic guys. I noticed that most guys don't see nothing wrong with catholics. Some even say they'd rather date one than some church they don't know of. Even Muslims say so too!
    Long epistle!!!!! And for possible typos, bear with me e jo. Ose.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I am trying very hard not to make a comment here because i find it all laughable. Hate or love the catholic church, it doesnt change the fact that it is still the OLDEST and the progenitor of the christian church.
    @cccc - i dey your back gidigba. You beat me to it.
    Any y'all got any more questions, I'm waiting for you with answers.

    ReplyDelete
  20. For real though,i thought it was the catholic brothers that were scarce, now seeing about 3 eligible catholic bachelors in this commentary, where have y'all been hiding??lol. I am catholic and proud, I also have the experience of having to let my non catholic ex go. I was already pregnant for him, but his Anglican family refused his marrying me. So now i am a Catholic single mum, the hate in my own case now is double. I personally do not judge people's choices of religion or worship, we really should quit arguing back and forth about the messenger or the way the message is conveyed and focus on the message of love that religion is preaching.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Why are u protective over ur maternal mother but can't give the same to the mother of Christ? Why do u celebrate the wife of ur GO but not mother Mary? Can ur GO's wife do for humanity what Mary did?
    Before Christ death,he handed His mother to Peter and said "behold ur mother" and said the same to his mother to Peter saying behold ur son.
    If as a Christian u don't/can't acknowledge the mother of ur saviour,I donno what else to say on the matter...

    ReplyDelete
  22. Steele, Memphis, cccc, Sasha, i could kiss y'all! Couldn't have summed it any better! Thank God for his insight to y'all. #proudly Catholic! Ziggy

    ReplyDelete

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