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Blog Visitor In Dilemma Needs Advice.

One of our blog visitors who's also a friend chatted with me last night to know what I thought about her present situation. It was one of those things you hear and you say "pray about it". And while sometimes that's the best advice you can give and be given, and the best course of action to take, sometimes people need more practical advice.

The problem is this, she's dated her boyfriend for almost two years. They were friends in the university but it wasn't till 2012 they started dating. He started talking about marriage recently and while it became decided that they will become husband and wife, he decided to disclose some personal details about his family that he hadn't told her before. Long story short, his elder brother (whom she had never heard about, thinking all along that her boo was the first son) has got mental problems and is institutionalized. At first she thought it wouldn't matter to them, but when she she told her mum, her parents, as most parents do, decided to "ask questions" and they found out that one of his uncles has similar problems. According to her parents the "madness runs in their family". 
       Naturally they've asked her to break up with him immediately, so that she can start looking for another suitor as time is not on her side. She loves her boyfriend and was very excited about marrying him, but the thought of having a mentally disturbed child.....

So she does not know what to do, and if she decides to break up with him, she doesn't know how to go about it. Plus it will really hurt his feelings. Or should she just go ahead with the wedding and hope for the best?

What will you do if you're in her shoes?


  1. hmmm... it's a tough one o. Like u said Thelma one can only say pray about it. Because, she's now in a serious fix, if she goes ahead, she definitely won't have her parents support, they'll always fear for her. I'll suggest she doesn't let him know she told her parents, play it cool while praying but be seated on the fence.

  2. the parents are right.. psychological problems can be genetically passed on so maybe her child may have some issues..or even her future grandchild. To be frank, I don't know what I will do. For me, it also depends where your friend stays. well if this was me, we would go for genetic counselling to get a professional opinion on things. then I will decide if it's worth fighting for.

  3. Get the opinions of professionals on genetics. They do have the final say physically. Then u can pray...
    Ur parents have no say babe. U have all the say... think, pray, act.

  4. Hmmm, never avoid warning signals.

  5. It's kind of dicey. However you should know that health traits like Cancer also run in some families, yet they aren't devoid of happy marriages. The issue is; are you ABSOLUTELY SURE you can grow old with this guy? Brave all odds with him? Think through that, and if you're convinced he's the ONE, then by all means go for him. I'll advice against locking horns with your parents on this matter though, because it's a very serious issue. They have a right to be concerned but it'll be great you have deep discussions with them and let them see reasons with you.

  6. She should break up with him. It's unfair because he was honest enough to tell her about it but madness is genetic.

  7. Eleyi gidi gan..... this one is strong..... hmmmm, if she can stand by him then thru it in case it happens to him she should stay. that's what love is all about.

  8. I suggest she ends the relationship since they are not married yet because genetical effects cannot be avoided,this is not an issue of love is blind.A friend of mine has a financé whom his genotype is not compactible with her's and she has decided to continue with him even after all the advices and stories about the painful experiences of parents with SS children.On the other hand, It has being the norm for families of the couple about to be married to make enquiries about the geneology of their prospective in-laws and once anything abnormal is discovered,they hardly give their consent.But you'll still see some people who are tough and stubborn about life,dive into it.If she finally decides to continue with the guy,then she should be aware of the fact that she'll loose her family and will have to deal with problems that will arise in the future which according to genetics is sure.EXCEPT if she has a good and genuine relationship with God(i believe in the power of fervent prayers)because that's the only source of help


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