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Cheating In Men; Accept Defeat Or Keep Fighting?

This is for the ladies, my invaluable men folk you're very welcome to weigh in too.


Everyone says men cheat, all men cheat, it's in their nature to cheat, it's in their DNA and they can't help theirselves. Men tell you that they are naturally polygamous or polyamorous, they refer you to the Bible, the Old Testament especially.

Thousands of articles have been written on why men cheat and thousands of answers have been given. In my opinion there's only one answer, and that's that men cheat because they can. 
      And the fact that we women have to come accept it as a given does not help matters. 

Yet, although in theory All Men Cheat, do you just accept it and look the other way? (People often advise that women just ignore their hubbies and find other ways to engage theirselves, find love and comfort in their children.). Or do you fight it with whatever weapons you have in your arsenal?

I had this same conversation with two of my married friends (separately). We were talking about what they think happens when hubby is out of town, and here's what they said:

One said she puts a pack of condoms in his suitcase when he's traveling. (This is supposedly meant to guilt him into staying faithful, if that fails, then to ensure that he has safe sex) .

My other friend on the other hand says, when hubby is traveling she puts his Bible in his suitcase. (This is to bring him to his senses, to remind him that he is a married man with a wife at home to whom he ought to be faithful..... She says putting a pack of condoms in his suitcase actually encourages him to cheat (do you guys agree with this?) so she will never do that). 

Both arguments seem valid. One has already accepted that all men cheat, therefore her husband will cheat and she might as well work with that. The other knows that although all men are said to cheat, she will fight to ensure that her hubby is the exception. 

Which of these two approaches do you live by? Or do you put both the Bible and the pack of condoms? LOL. 


Comments

  1. My dearrrrrr, all i can say is that there's no approach cast in stone when it comes to this "man matter" ooo! Prayer, Prayer, Prayer! It works wonders o.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lol. I'm not married but I think I will put both. Where one fails the other will work.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is where the 'God-fearing' factor comes in. The best thing that can happen to any woman is to marry a man who loves God more than her. Marry your best friend. When u do that, ur problem is less. All men(and women too) go through that temptation but not all of them fall. Infidelity is a NO-NO for me so there's no way I'm even accepting that nature. In fact, it can't exist in him. I can't share. Prayer also works - it severs every unholy/deceitful relationship, both male and female. Be open to each other. #Enjay#

    ReplyDelete
  4. Not all men cheat my parents have been married for 30 years and my dad categorically told me he has never been with any other woman!! So no not all men cheat

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hmmmm....I think this cheating business is treated in the same way as domestic violence and rape (men are victims of domestic violence and rape also). If men cheat, who do they cheat with? Women. It takes two to tango.

    If men cheat in theory, we should back it up with some reasonable statistics. For those who believe that all men cheat, let's start with the attitude of their fathers. Did/Do their fathers cheat? How often, if they did? For the married ones (note that I skipped spinsters); do their husbands cheat? How often, if they do?

    You see, women are more emotional than men, so it's a common thing when a lady has been cheated on to conclude that men are naturally uncontrollable when it comes to sex, even if they did it once. Men, on the other hand, hardly display their emotions when it comes to being cheated on, so there's little complaint from these quarters.

    If my wife had put a packet of condom in my bag I wouldn't appreciate the gesture at all. She has sent two clear messages
    1) She's giving me a green light and removing all trust she had of my fidelity, which is crass.
    2) "Two can pplay the game", she effectively notes through that gesture, even when the man may not have it in him to be unfaithful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Memphis I don't buy that "do their father's cheat" analogy. Our fathers belonged to a different generation where things were still a bit sacred and the women were more virtuous and as such did not give up the goods so easily.

      Delete
    2. Thelma, yeah, to an extent our parents had some valuable morals but also hid alot of their escapades from us. During their days they were almost at par with our way of life. Just ask them confidential questions and all you'll be doing is "Wha..Dad??...Mum..??". It's only last year, for instance, that my dad "confessed" to smoking and drinking before he got married. My mum confirmed that during the war, War-torn Enugu experienced wide range of partying and merry-making, which she even participated in but everyone made it look like almost all Igbos suffered bitterly. The point is, our parents give us this mostly angelic-life-we-lived expression so we don't fall out of place. But as adults, you notice that they release snippets of their lifestyles to us from time to time.

      Delete
  6. Gush am jez gonna b 20 by AuguSt and a student my parents are already talkin of marriage can u imagine,dey SAID dat we girls dont av Time dey re scaring me o.well my mum got married @17 dos days sha u knw how ibos do deir tin.marriage is Nt my priority now.i can only get married @ 22 dont know y d rush i knw girls re like drugs dat comes wit xpiring date buh mine will Nt b like dat as i knw my worth.is it ok to get married @ 20? I need advice my dreams re not yet achieved.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Not all men cheat. There are still very good ones. One thing we should also learn as ladies Is.......don't make excuses for a cheating man. He cheated because he did not deserve you. Move on when it comes.

    BTW, will bring you guys one sweet gist tomorrow. Its part of not making excuses for a cheating man. See ya.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Not all men cheat. I say wait and marry those ones if cheating is a big deal for you. If it's not a deal breaker, then go the condom route, hahaha.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I̶̲̥̅̊
    dnt fnk I̶̲̥̅̊
    can̶̲̥̅̊ accept a cheatn man.I̶̲̥̅̊
    wnt put eida of those tins in his briefcase tho.I̶̲̥̅̊
    wud just pray nd hope he I̶̲̥̅̊s♑'t cheatn.bt if I̶̲̥̅̊
    do catch him dat na anoda story.bt I̶̲̥̅̊
    wud tel U̶̲̥̅̊
    here not all guys cheat

    ReplyDelete
  10. What I observed is that most men cheat. In fact 80% of men just that the degree at which they do it vary. I have come to realise that I rather not put that in my head in other not to develop hypertension. The only one I can't stand is if his Casanova nature is so degrading to the extend that he does it in my presence, with my friends or relatives.

    Nevertheless, I think I will try the 3 approaches like you guys have said:
    1. The condonm therapy, lol
    2. The bible in his suitcase
    3. I won't marry such a Casanova in the first place but if I love him so deep then I will try to change him with prayers and more affection

    "Never give up on someone you know you can't live without"

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thelma, keep posting my thoughts Hon. Love them...
    The truth is women have been brainwashed into believing ALL men cheat. Huge Lie! A God fearing man knows that adultery is a sin against God 1st before his wife. So he'll zip up just like Joseph who was even a single man in that same old testament did cos he totally loves God.
    By the way: Women cheat MORE than men. I said it ladies, wives & girlfriends cheat more & we know it. They are just smarter at covering their tracks... *waiting for my head to roll* LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Speak for yourself.

      Delete

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