Skip to main content

Marriage; The Love Killer ?

Have you ever wondered why that passionate starry-eyed couple of last year got married and suddenly look.....dead? 

There are some things on my mind about marriage, some things I find both troubling and baffling:

1. A couple cohabits for about five or six years and have a happy relationship. Then they get married and suddenly it all crumbles. Why does this happen? What is the difference between what they've been doing before and what they're doing now? And I don't think it's always about babies because some of these couples started having kids before they wed. So what 

I just heard that Kourtney Kardashian has finally agreed to Marry Scott Dissick and I went cold on her behalf. They've been together for seven years and have two kids and seem to have had an ok relationship, and been able to weather the storms that came. So why do I fear that once they say I DO, a few months later OK Magazine would inform us that they're getting a divorce?

2. How does a couple date for eight years and have a near perfect relationship, but get married and get divorced six months later?

3. How does a couple who had so much passion, love and affection for each other, become unable to stand each other after marriage?

What changes between a couple once they officially become husband and wife? Does marriage kill love?

*I'm in no way generalizing, or suggesting that this happens in/to every marriage.
I'm also well aware that cohabiting before marriage is a sin, so there's really no point in pointing fingers and pointing that out as that's besides the point, you get my point? (LOL I'm embarrassed but I just had to do that.)*


  1. 'See finish' syndrome. #Enjay#

    1. Why didn't you see finish before getting married? Afterall u cohabited for sometime. As for me I think there's something wrong with the institution called marriage. Let dem change d v.c

    2. In another note, outside changing the v.c of d institution, I think perception changes once a union is formalised. U go raise bar, restrictions, do's and do's, don'ts and don'ts and many many thing dat I can't fit type as my fone no be qwerty.

    3. Dear Anonymous 4:12, I wasn't referring to those who co-habited before the marriage. I meant marriage as I don't believe in co-habitation. My opinion, though.#Enjay#

  2. Everyone relaxes on things they did to make the relationship work....forgetting marriage is more important than the relationship.

  3. (Not also generalizing) After marriage, especially after the babies come (while married), men tend to believe that the woman has nowhere else to go, so she'd take all manners of shit. The woman on the other hand, believes she is the madam of the house, the owner, thus overlooks some important ingredients required for the union to work out. This just gives credence to Annieella's comment above. There is something about 'legal ownership' (permit this phrase, please) which makes couple relax.
    Also, you can never completely analyze a man or a woman while still dating/unmarried. I guess a lot of us have learned the act of presenting ourselves as near-perfect or blameless while outside; then we show our true colours when the prize is won.
    Just a few points. - F

    1. Anon u cld not ve said it any better, d major point is that women/men feel thr spouse is entrapped and would never leave so they dole out a lot of crap!!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Closed Chapter...

Hello everyone, yesterday a friend said to me, Thelma I love your blog, I've told so many people about your blog, I think you're a very good writer but I feel there's something you're not doing right"

This friend was the first person who won our beauty of the day contest back then in 2014. Then we had met just once through a mutual friend. I mentioned the blog to her and she became an instant reader. I wouldn't have exactly called her a friend then but yesterday as we sat down waiting for our Uber to come get us from Wal-Mart, she's definitely my friend and I knew she was coming from a good place when she said she had much higher expectations of my blog.

Me too.

But you see, in the last year or so, maybe even longer than that, I haven't felt much joy in blogging. It began to feel more and more of a laborious chore, one which I hardly reaped any fruits from.

I really love writing, I love sharing my life and my experiences with others and I've enjoy…

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa