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Question Of The Day. (Feel Free To Be Brutal In Your Honesty)

Eniola Badmus recently posted some pictures of herself on Instagram and added a little note underneath 

“I snapped dis photo of myself because I feel so good of wot I am. Sure I dnt av d perfect body but I can finally say wif 100% honesty dat I luv me…..itz been a difficult journey but….#iaminlovewithme my new found love affair with myself has motivated me to start eating right, working out, doing yoga nd staying positive…..practicing self love everyday nd nt being afraid to be #EniolaBadmus nd it feels so good….I may av big tommy buh i still look yummy… may nt b society’s version of perfect buh it belongs to me……I put it to u today dat am beautiful inside nd out #stopbodyshaming”

When I saw this post on Bella Naija I was eager for the comments to roll in because I knew that emotions were going to be stirred. 
I'm asking these questions from a very neutral and dispassionate stand point and I would appreciate VERY honest and down-to-earth answers. Just the way it is in your mind. If you have to go 
anonymous to comment, it's ok.
 This is not about me or any particular person. Let's just talk.

1. Do you think overweight people lie when they say they are happy just the way they are?
2. Do you think overweight people deserve to be happy, as opposed to loathing theirselves for their bodies?
3. What's the first thought that comes to your mind when you see and overweight person; do you think they're lazy, sloppy, stupid, or are you indifferent?
4. Do you accord an overweight person with the same regards and respect as you would a skinny person, and do you find it difficult to take an overweight person seriously?
5. Do you think overweight people generally have low self-esteem?
6. Do you think overweight people should have lower standards and expectations when it comes to love and relationships?

You can answer all or some of the questions, and you do not have to limit your comment to these questions I've asked. 


  1. Truth is beauty lies in d eye of d beholder, nothing on d extreme is cool, being overweight doesnt take away beauty but wen u r extremely big, u wnt appeal to d eyes just as wen u are extremely skinny. My advise is for everyone to stay healthy. As for eniola she may not like d fact dat she is overweight but has accepted and is appreciating herself and she is also working on becoming slimmer.

  2. I have too many overweight friends to believe they are happy with themselves. They do have the right to say they are. I prefer that to moaning and complaining. If he or she is doing something about it, why give them flak? You don't pull up a plant to see how it's growing. Even if they're not, I still don't have the right to make fun of them, or mock them. We have our secret pains. Theirs is just visible. No, I don't see them as lazy. I am careful around them though, cos you need to choose your words carefully. A no of them are touchy. If u're plus sized and u dress your body beautifully, I will be d 1st to compliment u. Live n let live.

  3. Before I give my answer to these listed questions, I'll like to state that "overweight" and "fat/chubby" are two different me at least. So,

    1) YES, they lie when they say they're happy about their weight.
    2) Yes they deserve to be happy.
    3) Not lazy, sloppy, or stupid, but that they don't care about a healthy diet, hence paying less attention to their health.
    4) Yes I respect them as I would a skinny person, and I don't find it difficult taking them seriously because of their size.
    5) Yes, I think most of them have low self-esteem.
    6) I don't think they should demote themselves to low standards and expectations, but that's what happens because most of them have low self-esteem.

    1. @memphis, your answer to no1 was brutally

      Lemme go and come back and I'll drop my comments...hehehehehe

  4. 1. Sometimes, I think they lie about being happy. And there are some that really don't care.
    2. Everything alive deserves to be happy and loved. (Except for wild animals and the humans that behave like them)
    3. I'm indifferent. I have seen some overweight ladies who are very smart and graceful in movement.
    4. Why not? Respect is should be given all and no, I don't see them as 'unserious'.
    5. Some, I guess, have low-esteem.
    6. Hell no! They should have same standards as anyone should.

    This is my only bother - when going long distance, in a public bus and I have to be sandwiched or sit on one side of my bum till I get to my destination. And since it doesn't take forever, I let it be. This isn't even a problem because I will choose that over sitting beside a skinny person with body/mouth odour. #Enjay#

  5. After watching tons of weight loss reality tv shows, I have come to a personal conclusion that overweight people do not like the pain associated with physical activity.

    Personally, I have never been overweight, worst you could call me is chubby. Since embarking on a lifestyle change and making physical activity an everyday part of my life (even my dating life includes physical activities - rock climbing, thai boxing class, running - yes, I have been on a running date), I have come to the realisation that there is no gain without pain in the world of the healthy living. However your hard work, with consistency will reap benefits.
    Overweight people do not understand the concept of good nutrition neither do they have a good relationship with food.
    I am a firm believer in small portions, a balance diet, 3 main meals and 2 fruit/nuts snacks a day. You can't go wrong. Weight loss and maintenance is 50% what you eat, 20% prayer and 10% exercise. I include prayer because you would need the faith to believe yourself in health. You would need the grace of God to stay disciplined and maintain balance in all areas of your life and most importantly you would need the thanksgiving to acknowledge that it is God who does give good health.
    Everyone deserves to be happy. I try really hard to see people from a religious perspective that we are spirit, mind and body and our bodies are temporary. We all deserve to be happy within our spirit not based on the emotion and feeling expressed through the biological reactions of our body.
    In relation to their health, they can be:
    Lazy? Yes!
    Sloppy? Yes!
    Stupid? Yes!
    Do I think it on first thought, no, personal choices are personal.
    Do I respect overweight people – Yes, I do without any bias. Every human being deserves respect, it’s fundamental to our very existence. I would never be intentionally rude to a person.
    However if you weigh 300lbs and above, I will admit that I would find it hard to respect the decisions you have made as you have clearly shown a lack of self discipline in your health.
    Character traits typically permeate through all areas of a person's life.
    Do they generally have low self-esteem – Yes, they do.
    Should they have standards? Yes but what standards have they set for themselves before demanding same from others?


    1. OMG Keke I thought I was the only one that includes weight loss in her prayers. I'm always like God I know you have more pressing problems to deal with but please just help me with this, because I know the discipline I need comes from Him, so I always ask for discipline.

  6. Thelma....i have been away for a while and u didn't even acknowledge my absence....eeees not fair at all....if its Steele and Enjoy now....

    1. It's Enjay not Enjoy. Hehehe, did that to piss you off. I'm so sorry my darling. I've been wondering the same thing too, I'm so happy to have you back.

  7. I don't understand the need declare how happy one is with his/her weight, I mean if you are happy people will just tell.
    I treat all people equally no matter their body size there is more to a person than their weight, and overweight people shouldn't lower their standards in all aspects of life. I don't think they are sloppy or stupid, some can be lazy when it comes to physical activity.
    I think when it gets to a point where u can't see your toes or tie your shoelaces or even run around with your kids then you need to do something.
    We should love our bodies and that means eating right, exercising regularly, not allowing stressful situations and people get to us
    And guard our hearts and minds too.

  8. 1.I think they lie though they are few that are indifferent to their size.

    2.Of course they do deserve to be happy.

    3.In my mind I always say"you need to lose some weight "or "how did you let urself get this big".I particularly dislike the ones that complain abt their weight and do nothn about it.I can't classify all of them as lazy,some work hard to shed the weight.stupidity has nothing to do with one's weight.

    4.I do respect everyone irrespective of the person's weight.

    5.Generally but there are exceptions
    6.Yes and No.dependds on how overweight one is.

  9. I think:
    1. Most of them lie when they say they're happy, some are indifferent & have accepted their sizes. But don't think anyone is actually happy.
    2. Yes, they deserve to be happy.
    3. I'm usually indifferent except I become close to an overweight person and still observe their poor eating habits and no effort yet complaints. I get annoyed sef...think about your health I say!
    4. I do respect everyone, sizes do not matter.
    5. Some have low self esteem.
    6. They too should also have standards .

  10. Ok! 1. I think sometimes the feeling is more of resignation to what is as opposed to happy or unhappy. And periods of happiness thanks to that.
    2. Absofreakinglutely! Every1 deserves to be.
    3. Doesn't really matter to me. I think I get more upset wit looking slobbery n unkempt n dis applies to everyone. Although sometimes u meet folks with really horrible eating habits that can piss me of.
    4 I do. I think it is all about what you can offer not how you look.
    5. Some do. Others choose to see d parts of themselves they like and play it up proudly.
    6. Why on earth should they not have standards? !

    1. Sometimes, it is resignation. But then, some are actually happy with themselves.

  11. 1. Do you think overweight people lie when they say they are happy just the way they are?
    -I think some lie. But some others don't. Getting to a stage when you're happy with yourself isn't an easy one. And i think only a few people have gotten to that stage.

    2. Do you think overweight people deserve to be happy, as opposed to loathing themselves for their bodies?
    -Yes, they deserve to be very happy.

    3. What's the first thought that comes to your mind when you see and overweight person; do you think they're lazy, sloppy, stupid, or are you indifferent?
    -If they are very very fat/obese, i get annoyed. At them, for allowing themselves become that way. I work with one very very fat woman, and everyday, i wonder why and how she allowed herself become that way

    4. Do you accord an overweight person with the same regards and respect as you would a skinny person, and do you find it difficult to take an overweight person seriously?
    -I accord them the same respect. Nothing changes for me

    5. Do you think overweight people generally have low self-esteem?
    -I know they generally have low self-esteem, and an equally low self-confidence.

    6. Do you think overweight people should have lower standards and expectations when it comes to love and relationships?
    -I don't know. I think it depends on the individual. Some love themselves so much they can't take anything less, while others just want to be loved, they settle for anything.

    I am chubby, and i know how it feels. Especially with the mother i have, who is always complaining about it. Irrespective of her complaints, i am learning to love myself, and not give a damn. I know i am brilliant and have a good heart, and so i know when i am getting less than what i deserve in a relationship, be it platonic or otherwise. I used to hate myself so much, and settle for less but as i have grown, i have come to love me. And i know it can only be better.


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