Last night somebody, for reasons best known to him, sent me a short video on BBM. It was a sex tape made in a small dingy room by someone having sex with her boyfriend. Apparently this young woman put it all on display. From oral sex with the guy, to pleasing herself, and the entire act in itself. Her face and body in full view, yet not a single part of this guy's body, (besides his penis) showed. The guy, who did the recording, was so careful that his fingers barely even showed.
I've come across several Nigerian home made sex tapes, these are not porn but tapes made between lovers. I also know someone who used to record his sexcapades with the full knowledge of the girls. I saw some of the videos on his laptop, not once did his face show. In all the videos the girls were almost very eager to show their faces (and identities). I couldn't understand it. First off I don't understand how this guy gets the girls to do this, and no, they're not prostitutes, one of said girls used to live in my neighborhood and I know for a fact that she's not a prostitute, (Oh by the way she's married now). In some of the videos, while they're doing whatever, you can hear him giving a running commentary of what she's doing and how she's doing it, and what he wants her to do.. And the girls like puppies eager to learn take the orders while smiling for the camera.
Earlier this year I saw one of such videos that was made in Owerri, Imo state. The girl is obviously a student, from the sound of the guy's voice, he isn't. He asked her to dance stark naked and touch herself and do stuff while he was filming it and grunting like a pig in the background. Every few minutes she will stop and hesitantly ask what he will do with the video and he will reassure her in the accent of an uneducated Igbo trader that he will delete it immediately they finished. At some point he told her "shake that bottom. Shake it. Shake it like a stupid girl." And she turns and says, in righteous indignation; "I'm not a stupid girl". He quickly apologizes and urges he to keep "shaking it". In my head I'm like Oh but you are, my darling. You're indeed a very stupid girl.
There are so many of these videos, made in dingy rooms, mostly done by students, yet quite a lot by grown women in their late 20s and 30s. And in all of these, we the women are the ones so never have the presence of mind to hide our faces (in shame).
I don't know if this stupidity can be attributed to being in love (we know how stupid love makes some of us) but even that is unlikely. I've seen girls send nude pictures to men, full-bodied naked pictures,and they'd smile for the camera. I have friends who have done this too. Yet when a man decides to send you pictures of his peeny that's all he sends, that's all you'll see.
Quite frankly, it's your body and it's your prerogative to use it in whatever way you choose so I'm not here to advocate against making sex tapes and sending nude pictures.
All I want to ask is that, for whatever reason you decide to make a sex tape, be it for love, money, as a result of your low self-esteem etc, you think about the future, think about the looks on your kids faces if they stumble across a video where is strange man is barking at you to "shek dat botomm. Shek eet laik a sutupid gal". Think about what effects it might have on your future, future endeavors and your career. And because I'm a bit of a coward and I can't say this directly to friends guilty of this, I'm hoping next time you decide to do something like that you'll stop for a second and think about it.