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The Rant, Last Night's Date And The Tears That Can't Stop Flowing.



(Saturday) I said I was going to talk about last night. I was going to rant about the poor treatment at the bar last night, but since I already did that I'll move on. It was just a rather annoying night. So the girls and I ordered our cocktails and then salads, club sandwiches, fries etc. We talked about Men/Sex/Dating as usual and then somehow the gist moved on to spirit husbands and "pressing demons" (spiritual attacks in the sleep, AKA sleep paralysis) I don't even know how we started talking about all that. Anyways it was time to go, we asked for the bills and time came to pay... NO MONEY. I had transferred the money I needed for the night into my friend's account since I (deliberately) don't have an ATM card. We were both meant to settle the bills but when the bills came she found out that by some magic the card had disappeared. And none of us had any cash! That's how me and my girls spent another two hours sitting down and looking at the ceiling. We started making calls, looking for who to bail us out. Eventually *Lara called someone who sent us more cash than we needed through his driver. Thank God. 

This was about 11pm. For some reason sea food was on my mind so I suggested we stop over at The Place at phase 1 to get some shrimp and jumbo prawns. We stopped there and I queued for food for over thirty minutes before giving up. I then decided to put some fuel in the tank since I didn't get the food, and that's how we were in Oando for almost an hour. That happened and we had to drop off Lara at home at Northern Foreshore. I never knew that 
estate was that LARGE! After we dropped Lara at home we got missing trying to find our way out of the estate. This took us over thirty minutes and we eventually trailed a car that we suspected was leaving the estate. The three of us decided to sleep at VGC instead of dropping *G off and heading back home. We got to her place and the gate was locked. It was another 30 minutes before we could get in, after 1am. 

Then morning came and I had to rush to meet up with someone, without showering I ran outside and as I was about to enter the car I noticed that the tire was completely deflated. As in DEFLATED. that's how my friend and I turned vulcanizer on the road this early morning, till a Good Samaritan stopped to help us. The whole wahala just made me wish I'd sat my ass at home in the first place. Apparently in VGC if you park your car on the road, the estate security deflates your tire. 




I wrote the above yesterday (Saturday), now let's talk about my date last night. 
So you guys know how anxious I was over that date. After I put up the last article I went to get dressed. I put on a short purple dress, did my almost-nude make up, strapped on some Jessica Simpson sandals, wore a silver Fossil wristwatch with silver accessories to match, splashed on a little J'Adore by Christian Dior over the Aramis to give me a strong yet feminine scent, had my hair combed back and left free... I looked in the mirror and I was satisfied. I drove to Sailor's Bar at Phase 1 where he was already waiting. We hugged and I took in the Tom Ford cologne and I already felt at home (don't mind me I'm a sucker for good scents).

From the get go everything was awesome. I relaxed immediately, we obviously clicked. We ordered peppered snails. I had a margarita and he had some Jack Daniel. We gisted and laughed and talked about everything. He's in oil and gas but has and has his own company. We discussed business and he wants me to file his annual returns for the years he's defaulted, increase the share capital of his company etc and he asked for an estimate. I gave him (at an inflated price because I expected him to negotiate) but he asked for my account details and immediately made a part payment (Good Man!). We moved on to other topics, he expressed interest in a "serious" relationship, which I was happy about because he and I really connected. He called his closest friend on the phone to introduce us. 

We talked about ourselves, past relationships, heartbreaks, traveling (he suggested we go to Ghana for Easter), food, politics, current affairs, entertainment, growing up, our families, EVERYTHING. It was perfect and I could really see me in a relationship with this guy. This hasn't happened in a long time as I find it hard to connect and feel attracted to any of the men in my life that I've inevitably friend-zoned. 

We were making plans for today, Sunday. Sea food was still on my mind and we decided on Ocean Basket although he was trying to persuade me to let's do Chinese at Marco Polo instead. He wanted us to make plans for the week since we both live in the same part of town, and I could see us easily ease into a relationship when he dropped the bombshell. 

"Errrr, by the way I'm married". 

Wait. Did this MUTHAFUCKER just tell me he's married? After three hours of talking about how we were going to be great together and all of that! I looked at his hand again, just to be sure. No, he wasn't wearing a ring. 

My people I quickly rounded up the date. It was already late anyways and I thought it best to go home. He walked me to my car, we hugged. And he said "6pm tomorrow". I nodded slowly. I entered my car and saw Le Bestie's ping. "How's the date going? *big grin* smiley". I flung the phone, raised the radio to the highest volume, drove to the ever crowded Oando filling station and while I waited for my turn I broke down and cried. 

Dear Lord I cried. I cried in a way I have not cried in a long time. I cried unashamedly, uncontrollably, unabashedly. I cried not caring about people looking at me. I couldn't even come down to look at the meter, for all I know the guy put less fuel than I payed for. I did not care. I couldn't come out to check, couldn't stop crying. 

I got home and sat in the car for a moment. I called *Oge in Enugu and she cried with me and promised it will be ok. She reassured me that she prays for me everyday and God is in control. I cleaned my face and went in. As my tired body got on the bed, Le bestie's one year old son looked at me and just as if he knew I needed love, he left his mum's breasts and came to hug me. I held his little chubby body for a few minutes and sought comfort in his joy and innocence. He laid his head on my chest and I held him, trying not to cry. 

And now as I type this I can't stop crying. I can't really explain it. It's not necessarily about *Ahmed. It's just, everything. (I can't begin to explain it). For the first time in almost two years I feel so strongly for someone and he turns out to be somebody's husband. He's been calling my phone all day. He's sent a text to ask if our date is still on for tonight. I'm wondering whether to reply him and tell him to lose my number. Or to see him and explain that I have no interest in being his mistress, it doesn't matter if madam and the kids don't live in Lagos. I should just text and saying "dude fuckin lose my number you fuckin married man" but I can't do it just yet. My pain is still too raw, I'm not yet strong enough. 

So well... I'm making plans for the night with my girls. The Miss with the missing ATM just called to say she's found it so Friday night's money is still intact. We'll go out, eat, drink and be merry and I will talk, smile, laugh hard, and act like I'm not hurting inside. 

Have a fantastic week. God bless us all. 

Comments

  1. Awww!I̶̲̥̅̊
    fill ur pain dear,I̶̲̥̅̊
    hate dat big tym.just leave him to keep calln den wen U̶̲̥̅̊
    strong enuf giv him d boot.D best is stl yet to come,all dis married men dat wud nt leave single girls alone sef.av fun wit ur frnds jor,dnt giv it anoda thought!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lara ko,Lara ni...lmao!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO. OK O! Next time I'll use real names. Whether for good or bad. Agreed? BTW we saw red before we left your estate. And I remember I told you we'll have difficulty finding our way out but you promised we won't. I should sue you!

      Delete
  3. Oh wow...some deep article. Hmm...sorry dear. It is well ok *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don't really know what to say. I'm really sorry for all that pain you experienced. It's best you cease all correspondence with him to avoid any more insult. That was an insult to you...what happened last night. It's well. Be Blessed.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sorry dear, you may not want to say why you cried, but i think i understand it. I just want to say it is well, God has seen your tears. stay strong dear :-*

    ReplyDelete
  6. But thelma its really hard to find a man with all dat wealth and class dat is not married or taken, best bet is a divorced one!! Just my observation lately.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I understand what you mean but he doesn't wear a ring, never mentioned a wife or kids, lives alone, does what he wants when he wants, lives a bachelor's life. So what was I to think?
      That said I do know (of) some single millionaires so ......

      Delete
    2. I know some too, i just said they r very hard to come by. On d brighter side, i think he is a good man for telling u the truth, some men wld ve deceived u further and wasted ur time, i think u shld stay friends with him.

      Delete
  7. That was an experience, don't worry Thelma it will be well. Have a good time with your friends this evening, with time you will be able to laugh about what happened.
    God bless you and have a wonderful week.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I cried with u while reading this article Nwando. Even as I type this am still crying... I feel your pain hun and God sees it too. you'll smile in no distant time. God bless u darling

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  9. Sorry Thelma. Please try not to cry again. You shouldn't have a headache :D. It's nice to know you even have a life and substantial relevance. Love will come when it will. It is God's word, it never falters.
    About *Ahmed, just ignore the hurt. When next you talk to him try and remain civil. More married men will chase you, even when you get married! It's you who'd keep them off. Now on a bright side, biko go on ahead with the business proposal unless he chooses out. And remain firm, yet civil. Make your money abeg.
    Rubbish man! He shoulda mentioned earlier na...hiss

    ReplyDelete
  10. Omo, dat man had serious agenda. Babe, please let him go with his bizness o. He knew what he was doing, giving u dat biz to hook u. And dis one dat u were already liking him. Abeg, just becoome incommunicado. Let him go, married man is not ur portion.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Stop crying. Severe ties with him and try to refund the money he sent you. Keep your head up, there are many good men out there

    ReplyDelete
  12. Am sorry Thelms,I cannot begin to imagine your pain but I know this for sure,you will be okay.Remember, God always and I mean ALWAYS takes care of his own.Just please keep faith alive and don't settle!Also I feel you should return his money and don't pick his calls for now.....

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hmmm.He left off saying "I'm married "to the end of the date.I'll pour whatever I had on him if same happened to me.Well if you can handle it,go ahead with the biz if not return his money.cuttin all ties will be the best option though.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Awwww, T I actually read this with a Smile instead of tears! Cos Great things don't come easy. Listen Hon, u will find your OWN. I don't know when, but am a 100% sure cos babes like U end up with the Best. They don't settle, the Best finds them! As for the bastard, ooops, Le married man, I should curse hin, but am just gonna say Thanks for giving T one less man to be hurt about... Be good T. Please forget the business as fast as u should loose his number...

    ReplyDelete
  15. and I was already dreaming about coming to meet u up when u come to Ghana only to read further and see this! Smh at all these married men who wont let girls be! Stop crying sweetie, ur time is coming. .God would make u smile and laugh beyond human understanding!*hugs* from ur new ghanaian friend who is always stalking ur blog for new posts! Lol :-)

    ReplyDelete

  16. My name is Donna Hennas am from UK. i want to use this opportunity to thank my great doctor who really made my life a pleasurable one today. This great man DR.NICE OKSE brought my husband back to me, i had three lovely kids for my husband, about four years ago i and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me for one lady. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, until one day i met a good friend of mine that was also in a situation like me but her problem was her ex-boyfriend who she had an unwanted pregnancy for and he refused to take responsibility and dumped her. she told me that mine was a small case and that i should not worry about it at all, so i asked her what was the solution to my problems and she gave me this great man email address. i was doubting if this man was the solution, so i contacted this great man and he told me what to do and i deed them all, he told me to wait for just two day and that my husband will come crawling on his kneels just for forgiveness so i faithfully deed what this great man asked me to do and for sure after two days i heard a knock on the door, in a great surprise i saw him on his kneels and i was speechless, when he saw me, all he did was crying and asking me for forgiveness, from that day, all the pains and sorrows in my heart flew away,since then i and my husband and our lovely kids are happy.that's why i want to say a big thank you to DR.NICE OKSE spiritual temple. This great man made me to understand that there is no problem on earth that has no solution so please if you know that you have this same problem or any problem that is similar, i will advise you to come straight to this great man. you can email him at: professionallovespell@otmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  17. Been thinking of what words to type since last night..... All I'll say is be grateful that he opened up at the last minute. What if you had started a relationship with him, gone deep and then you find out about the wife or she finds out about you first? Thank God you didn't have to go through all that drama. And God bless you for having a conscience, some people don't see anything wrong in dating a married man. They say "after all, I'm not sleeping with him" ( yet!, I had to add that)

    That Bobo that will make your life blissful is on his way. May God bless you with the grace to wait in joy. *plenty of hugs* #Enjay#

    ReplyDelete
  18. I think you took this the wrong way, what you should have done is be grateful that he did open up. Better late than sorry. Then you should have switched it up on him and gone all professional. Strictly business, never get emotive about biz it will only harm you more. Do not return the business, do it and do it well but make it extremely clear that you don't fuck with married men. If he's a decent human he'll only respect you more, cherish you as a friend and associate and bring more biz your way.
    Another thing, the fastest way to hurt yourself is to start having fantasies before there's really anything to fantasize about. It makes you needy even when you don't know it. That's part of why it hurt so bad that the tears couldn't even wait till you got home.
    From your past experiences you should be strong, and not let things like this get to you easily. I think there's no such thing as the ONE, everyone you dated makeup the ONE cos they should teach you what you can and can't tolerate. The person you'll end up with should be a combination of all those you've been with.
    Be strong girl, dirt of your shoulders. That's the only way you'll deserve what you want.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Steele..a thousand likes for ur mature comment...From thelma making it strictly business henceforth(after all she shouldn't loose on both sides) to her fantasizing too early thus making her too needy.
      Thelma, please reduce ur fantasy level henceforth(I'm nt gonna judge u cos that's what makes u human..afterall, most of us ladies r guilty of that) so that u dont get more hurt in future. U deserve the best..one love.

      Delete
  19. Steele!well said.I don't think the tears were about this parrticular incident,I'm a lady so I completely relate.When I came to Lagos newly I was frustrated about everything and Lagos life in general,I was going to work one day and a car splashed me with dirty water,I just broke down and cried.I agree with the business part,be professional and make clear you stance with married men.

    ReplyDelete
  20. This just reminded me of what my sister and I discussed a few days ago. She ended the discussion with "when my Mr. Right finally proposes, my answer would be a very dirty slap and then I'll kiss his cheeks and say, Yes". I asked her whatever for and she replied, "for all he made me go through in the hands of other men as a result of his delay". I hugged her cos I knew it wasn't even funny.

    The truth is that your Mr Right will come Thelma and he'll make you see love like you've never imagined and guess what, all this pain will be a thing of the past then.

    Calm down my love, everything will be just fine.

    Lots of Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But that's risky o...

      Delete
  21. Thelma we are so alike, i can fully understand why you cried. I am in ur shoes ryt now. It is well. U wikl be alright

    ReplyDelete
  22. Need I say more? Sending you hugs from Ilorin dear Thelma.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I have been in those shoes countless times. I can totally relate with this. It was not such a bad thing that you cried and let out the steam. Going forward, pls be strong and expect more of this. At the same time, pray against and watch his kinds (married men) that would not divulge their marital status until it is late to turn back (after a kid or two; believe me, it happens). Meanwhile, I share Steele's view about going ahead with the business. The reason he didn't negotiate the high fee in the first place was probably his amorous desire but I beg, don't lose in two places (if you can manage it)
    -F

    ReplyDelete
  24. Just keep praying.

    ReplyDelete

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