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Men Are Victims Of Domestic Violence Too.

So I got yet another call from my friend's boo this morning. He complained that she slapped him, again! This is probably the fifth or sixth slap this year. Apparently when my friend's boo annoys her these days she doesn't argue, she gets physical. 
      The first two times he was quiet about it but now, he's worried that very soon he will lose his 
temper/control and retaliate, (and who knows what damage he will cause?). Unfortunately he's deeply in love with my friend and cannot leave her (in his own words) but he's getting tired of being hit.

      This got me thinking, we don't take this so seriously because it's the woman doing the hitting this time, but this IS still domestic violence. I understand that many men are victims of domestic violence but naturally they cannot speak out about it because it's very shameful to tell people that you're getting beat by a woman. I did some research some months back and I learnt that in Kenya, many men are victims of domestic violence and often get beaten by their wives, the picture above is one of 
such incidents. 

I also read about an incident that occurred in Warri of a man who was brutally assaulted, and eventually murdered by his wife. 
See excerpt below:

 "Nothing could be more cruel than a splash of pepper sauce on the face, but the ensuing drama was even more gruesome than his worst nightmares.
He tried running out of the house while crying for help but his beastly wife descended heavily on him with a knife, stabbing him with all the current power she could muster. He managed to shove her off and ran out of his house screaming for help.
      As if that was not enough, she defied all entreaties by on-lookers, ran back into the house and returned with a bowl of petrol. Bystanders ran for their dear lives paving the way for her heinous act. She poured the contents on him and set him ablaze. On the throes of death, Johnson staggered to a nearby gutter to put out the fire on his body, but that made no difference. She came after him yet again to complete the act with a knife. Even after Johnson was rescued from his murderer and rushed to the hospital, he could not live to tell the story of what transpired. That was the fate of Johnson for having a vampire as a wife."

Another woman, Mary Anozie of Ago Palace way, Lagos, also killed her husband when she struck him on the head with a stone and watched him bleed to death. Apparently, she did not mean to kill him, she meant to injure him but not cause his death. 

Men could be victims of domestic violence too. For some, it may not be a brutal as being hit with hard objects, it could be the occasional slaps on the head and punches. Let's not even talk about those who are victims of verbal and emotional abuse. (Topic for another day). 

Do you think these men also deserve redress against their violent wives/girlfriends? 

Ladies, have you ever had cause to get physically violent with your man? 

How do you suggest a man deal with a physically abusive spouse?

My heart goes out to all victims of domestic violence. DV is obviously a world wide epidemic. All you have to do is google images of domestic violence and your heart will surely break. Please if you're a victim of spousal abuse, either female or male, try, try and try again to leave that relationship. God did not create you to be somebody's punching bag, borrow some legs and leave. 


  1. It is in Central Kenya where we have so many incidents of husband battering, actually its mostly in rural central Kenya not Kenya in general. The women involved say their husbands are always drunk and they don't cater to their needs so they decide beat some sense into them.
    Here we have an association for men where they can report cases of domestic violence and get free legal counsel as to how to handle/ deal with a violent wife, but naturally the association doesn't get many cases because victims are embarrased to come forward.
    About your friend, he should talk to his girl about the slapping and how it makes him feel, maybe there is some underlying reason for her actions

  2. women hitting men is still domestic violence but most men won't admit they get hit by their women because they do not want to be seen as weak men. so yes! domestic violence against men should be openly discussed. I would like to say they man should step up and beat her too but if the society sees that woman, no one will remember that she's been hitting him for years so if they aren't married he should leave her alone. If married, he can report her to her family and he's or maybe slap her and WARN her.. idk man, this world get plenti wahala.

  3. Not excusing him but I always believe that a man must have driven a woman to the point of being violent

    1. I don't believe there's any justifiable reason for people to be abusive in relationships. Even if you are pushed to the wall, express yourself or leave. There is a reason God made us rational beings and part of that is so we do not give in to our baser instincts and lash out at what makes us uncomfortable. And the fact that this is male spousal or domestic violence does not make it any more condonable than toward females. Some men who are raised right would not hit a woman, under any circumstance, even physical abuse.In such cases, they need help as much as their female counterparts or even more cos where the female may dredge up courage to speak about her situation and get help, most males would rather die than acknowledge this situation, especially when it is not cos can't go crazy n hit her back, he just won't cos she's a woman.And so thus' he's stuck in hell for having principles. Ziggy

    2. @ Ify, and you don't think that violent men were driven to that point too? Well said Ziggy....he's stuck in he'll for having principles.
      The case is a tricky one because of ego but if not handled could have very dire consequences. Maybe even death. Whether it's the woman doing the beating or the man, no one should stay in a violent relationship. It baffles me when someone who's been beaten blue black will say they can't leave because they love their beater. People like that deserve what they get, I'm sorry.

  4. And vice versa...does that justify anything?

  5. Some men treat women in a way that though not physical is far worse than domestic violence. And such woman might lash out physically, when she does I honestly cannot blame her. Can you imagine the type of frustration that will make a woman strike her husband on the head with a stone?

    1. Olodo! Can you also imagine the type of frustration that will make a man strike his wife on the head with a stone??? Folks like you truly need help. This female victim thingy has being overplayed; this story is about men being victims of domestic abuse. STICK TO THE DAMN STORY!!!

    2. Thank you very much


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