Skip to main content

Who Run The World.... (Last Night; My Rant)




Barely a few hours after reading the article on the new Kenyan law which enables Kenyan men to marry as many wives as they want... ,let's talk about this law first. From my understanding, Kenyan law has always supported polygamy, on the condition that the husband must first have the consent of the first wife to bring in a new wife or other wives. The men, not satisfied with this sought to pass to law a bill that would dispense with the clause which provided for this, so that the wives' consent will no longer be needed in taking other wives. Well this bill was passed into law and women, enraged, displeased, dissatisfied  "staged a walk out". I'm quite surprised that they are not protesting against the existence of that law in its entirety. 

While still thinking about this law and the general state of the world which is a big *YIMU* to Beyonce's Who Run The World-GIRLS, I got to the cafe/restaurant where I was to have drinks/dinner with friends, we were four in number, all well-educated, well-groomed, independent young career women. We sat at our table and immediately started catching up. After a few minutes not one of the numerous waiters had approached our table to give us menus or take our orders. I split my attention and noticed that the young men who came in some minutes after we did, were already popping open their bottles. I noticed that a couple (male and female) who came in after them were giving orders to a waiter, and while I was trying to control my fury, trying to convince myself that it wasn't what I thought, another couple came in and the minute they sat down, a waiter rushed to them to hand them menus and take their orders. 
       Somehow my friends and I sitting very conspicuously almost at the centre, four in number, were invisible. It was when I had to call a waiter that we were finally noticed and attended to.

Was I surprised? Hell no! This has happened way to often. When I was a frequent visitor in Abuja it happened EVERYTIME I went to the JEVENIK in Wuse 2 alone, except once. And in so many other places too. 

I don't get it... What's the mindset of the waiter/waitress? Is it that a woman cannot pay for her own meal, or a woman must be waiting for a man to come and join her/pay for her, or a woman/women who come(s) alone to a restaurant came there with the sole purpose of getting a toaster or a customer? Or is it that women are just not priority and therefore there's no need to hurry and attend to them?

Last week I was chatting to my friend's boyfriend and he said that something strikes him as very funny in Nigeria. He spoke of how he'll go out with a lady and after (dinner) the lady pays and the waiter will turn to him and say "thank you sir". Or a begger comes along and begs for money and the lady gives him some and the beggar turns to him and says "thank you sir". Or when he goes somewhere with a lady and she asks a question and although it was she who asked the question, the person will look at him and answer him like he was the one who asked. 
     I knew very well what he meant and it's very infuriating. Seriously, why would I come to a bar and tip you when I'm leaving from MY very hard-earned money, you see me bring out the money from MY purse and I give it to you with MY hand, and you turn to the man beside me and say "thank you sir"? WHY? 
     The last time someone did that to me, I asked him to return my money and ask "Oga" for money, since it's Oga he thanked when it was I who gave him the money. My friend did not even acknowledge him...so the silly guy lost out. 

Or when V and I used to go for drinks at our favourite bar and every evening I would greet the bouncers and they'd turn to him to reply the greeting. Or the night that I tipped one bouncer with 1500 Naira and he ran to V to say thank you.. That was the last time I tipped anyone at that place. 

These seemingly little things call to mind how far away we are from achieving that gender equality we so often boast about. It makes it glaring how little progress has been made from thousands of years ago when the Bible insubordinated women, put us far below men and on they same level with children. Or do we talk about how women are little better than sheep in the Middle East and how you dare not have a voice even at the depth of pain, misery, sorrow, suffering, despair, hopelessness, molestation, violation, violence ....

In the corporate world, women still need to work twice as hard as their male counterparts for the same privileges or even less. Some women still find theirselves sleeping with men half as smart as they are, just to get ahead. Some (law) firms are reluctant to hire women for reasons beyond my understanding. 

It is for these reasons (and several others) that I believe we must never cease in our struggle for gender equality. It is for these reasons that I think some feminists are fighting for the wrong causes and need to remind theirselves what feminism really is and why it is important. I hope that my daughters live in a world where they would not be seen as lesser human beings because they have a pair of breasts. 

.......
This is not at all what I'd planned to write about, I was going to rant about last night and I will in a subsequent post but this is far more important. 

Comments

  1. It's one of those topics that overwhelm me; when I hardly know what to say because of the heat already generated in the East and West. The world is complicated enough by the differences between the Male and Female Human, why should we complicate it further by fighting battles we hardly can comprehend? I keep hearing, "it's a Man's World", over and over again. But then I realized that SIN came through a Woman, and REDEMPTION came through a Woman. What makes it a Man's world without the power of a Woman?

    The ONLY way to excel in this logical world is through simplicity. If you're a Man, you're created that way for a reason. Live like a MAN. If you're a Woman, there's a reason for that. Live like a WOMAN. These genders don't need education to let them exist as their gender requires; it's mapped out already by Nature.

    For the religious ones, search through your good books and see that ALL the women who excelled did so because they were simply WOMEN, not fighting endless and meaningless gender war. Each gender has unique functions and specific powers associated with them. The moment we realize this, we'll stop this meaningless energy consuming activity. Ezekwesili and Akunyili are two great examples of women who have excelled and are extremely respected because they're simply WOMEN. It's about simplicity, nothing more. Be Blessed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, women should know, accept and embrace their roles.

      Delete
  2. The scenario you painted at bars or restaurants is very rampant. And if you're doing well they think it's a man that must be responsible for your success.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thelma Women are not created to be equal to men, d earlier women stop fighting dis gender equality the better for them. Why are women so selfish, u want to be equal to a man, yet u expect ur husband to provide for u, y cant u provide for him?, a man should not him a woman? Y shldnt he, afterall they ve equal strength. Truth is nature created females as a weaker sex that should be dependent on men but civilisation is trying to take that away but trust me, it ll only cause more harm than good. If we are preaching gender equality which is very unnatural, why are we not preaching homosexuality which is equally unnatural. I ve a lot to write tho but let me stop here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Really? Did u just cough that out after thinking? When God made man and woman,did he expressly say or write that they are weaker? What does weaker mean to u? Physical? Financial? Intellectual or emotional? I know Eve was created to help Adam and I also know u wldnt get help from a weak or lazy person so I ask u again dear anonymous,what is weak?
      The irritating problem with people is they dint think. They don't question popular or/ancient opinions. Well I'm happy a wise saying goes thus: Educate a man,educate and individual,educate a woman,u help build a nation.lol...who's now weaker to humanity at large? Lol? If u think men always/only cater to women,the amount of working and independent women proves ur statement wrong!!! And still on the matter,Men aren't polygamous in nature and pls men shld make out time to teach their sons this.

      Delete
    2. Women are weaker by nature. Women are softer than men, women are more emotional than men, in every way men are stronger than women. Tho a few women try to stand out but it still doesnt take away the fact that men are thr to protect women which is obviously because women are weaker. All dis bullshit gender equality is because men are taking advantage of thr strength and not treating women right, if only God's purpose for man is being followed, the world would be a better place, but No, d devil brought civilisation and evil means to spoil the world.

      Delete
    3. U seem to know alot bout Gods plans for the world yet humanity has witnessed different eras from Adam to ice to stone to medieval to what we have now to what is meant to come...We wldnt be having this convo if Adam and Eve were made on the 6th day but that still don't mean women shld be treated less than they deserve. After all even the animals that roam aimlessly were created before Man...

      Delete
  4. @anon2:30 I don't know if I should be surprised at your comment or just swallow hard instead of...
    If you are a woman, it's your type that give men unnecessary hype and adorn them with the glory they don't deserve. And I've met some of your kind. Once a man bashed my car and in a blink of an eye there was traffic due to the fact that I blocked him in front before he got a chance to speed off. The silly idiot just waved at me in apology as if breaking my light and partially denting my car was just smeared bread and butter. After all the drama and grammar and a little crowd had gathered. One anon 2:30 woman came from no where and said, ''young lady, your mouth is just running tatatatah, let the men settle it, so that we can all go'' I was so angry!. I gave her a lecture on gender equality right there and then, as if na man buy me motor in the first place. To think she didn't even know whose car it was before addressing me.

    ReplyDelete
  5. What pains me most about this gender wahala is the fact that a successful woman is seen as having been made by a man (husband, boyfriend, aristos or whatever). And the corporate world? There are simply some positions a woman hardly gets to. I get in a room full of professional colleagues and all I see are a few women! I have actually been involved in meetings with about a hundred colleagues (from different countries) and we women there weren't up to 10. On a personal note, my over 10 years experience and successes were thrown to the wind when my MD brought a younger inexperienced guy (a year younger, though) to head all the technical units (mine inclusive). Why? He thought being a woman, I wouldn't be able to control the men if he gave me the higher position despite deserving of it. Then MARRIAGE! OMG! Men, especially african men believe having multiple partners is their exclusive birth right. And I frequently ask: is it not the same blood that runs in both gender's veins? Why are women with multiple sex partners seen as prostitutes while their male counterparts are seen as hero?.....I could rant on......
    -F

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

One More Post...

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Giveaway Finale!

Happy Sunday y'all. 
This is the conclusive part of #WCG. 
All the N25,000 recipients have received their cash.
All the students have also received their N10,000. 
Once again guys please comment under any of the posts, or this one that you've received your money. Thanks. 

So moving forward, this final giveaway contains 
1. N10,000 for 5 people. 

2. 3 kimonos from Julian's dressmakers. 
3. 3 pairs of Palm slippers from WaleOnibata. (Gents) 
4. 2 pairs of shoes from Courtney's Closet. (Ladies. Size 9 and Size 11). 

5. 1 human hair wig from Gabby's Wigs'n'Weaves. You pick from one of the wigs below. 
6. 3 cakes from CakesandCream 

7. A getaway at CitiHeight Hotel Ikeja for 3 people. (Who can each bring one person along).  


As I said earlier, Kon has already won a stay at CitiHeight and Clare, a kimono. So those gifts are now available for 2 people each. 
There is no competition. We are only going to play a game. 
I have each gift item listed out in numbers. Number 1 to 100. …

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa