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Who Run The World.... (Last Night; My Rant)

Barely a few hours after reading the article on the new Kenyan law which enables Kenyan men to marry as many wives as they want... ,let's talk about this law first. From my understanding, Kenyan law has always supported polygamy, on the condition that the husband must first have the consent of the first wife to bring in a new wife or other wives. The men, not satisfied with this sought to pass to law a bill that would dispense with the clause which provided for this, so that the wives' consent will no longer be needed in taking other wives. Well this bill was passed into law and women, enraged, displeased, dissatisfied  "staged a walk out". I'm quite surprised that they are not protesting against the existence of that law in its entirety. 

While still thinking about this law and the general state of the world which is a big *YIMU* to Beyonce's Who Run The World-GIRLS, I got to the cafe/restaurant where I was to have drinks/dinner with friends, we were four in number, all well-educated, well-groomed, independent young career women. We sat at our table and immediately started catching up. After a few minutes not one of the numerous waiters had approached our table to give us menus or take our orders. I split my attention and noticed that the young men who came in some minutes after we did, were already popping open their bottles. I noticed that a couple (male and female) who came in after them were giving orders to a waiter, and while I was trying to control my fury, trying to convince myself that it wasn't what I thought, another couple came in and the minute they sat down, a waiter rushed to them to hand them menus and take their orders. 
       Somehow my friends and I sitting very conspicuously almost at the centre, four in number, were invisible. It was when I had to call a waiter that we were finally noticed and attended to.

Was I surprised? Hell no! This has happened way to often. When I was a frequent visitor in Abuja it happened EVERYTIME I went to the JEVENIK in Wuse 2 alone, except once. And in so many other places too. 

I don't get it... What's the mindset of the waiter/waitress? Is it that a woman cannot pay for her own meal, or a woman must be waiting for a man to come and join her/pay for her, or a woman/women who come(s) alone to a restaurant came there with the sole purpose of getting a toaster or a customer? Or is it that women are just not priority and therefore there's no need to hurry and attend to them?

Last week I was chatting to my friend's boyfriend and he said that something strikes him as very funny in Nigeria. He spoke of how he'll go out with a lady and after (dinner) the lady pays and the waiter will turn to him and say "thank you sir". Or a begger comes along and begs for money and the lady gives him some and the beggar turns to him and says "thank you sir". Or when he goes somewhere with a lady and she asks a question and although it was she who asked the question, the person will look at him and answer him like he was the one who asked. 
     I knew very well what he meant and it's very infuriating. Seriously, why would I come to a bar and tip you when I'm leaving from MY very hard-earned money, you see me bring out the money from MY purse and I give it to you with MY hand, and you turn to the man beside me and say "thank you sir"? WHY? 
     The last time someone did that to me, I asked him to return my money and ask "Oga" for money, since it's Oga he thanked when it was I who gave him the money. My friend did not even acknowledge the silly guy lost out. 

Or when V and I used to go for drinks at our favourite bar and every evening I would greet the bouncers and they'd turn to him to reply the greeting. Or the night that I tipped one bouncer with 1500 Naira and he ran to V to say thank you.. That was the last time I tipped anyone at that place. 

These seemingly little things call to mind how far away we are from achieving that gender equality we so often boast about. It makes it glaring how little progress has been made from thousands of years ago when the Bible insubordinated women, put us far below men and on they same level with children. Or do we talk about how women are little better than sheep in the Middle East and how you dare not have a voice even at the depth of pain, misery, sorrow, suffering, despair, hopelessness, molestation, violation, violence ....

In the corporate world, women still need to work twice as hard as their male counterparts for the same privileges or even less. Some women still find theirselves sleeping with men half as smart as they are, just to get ahead. Some (law) firms are reluctant to hire women for reasons beyond my understanding. 

It is for these reasons (and several others) that I believe we must never cease in our struggle for gender equality. It is for these reasons that I think some feminists are fighting for the wrong causes and need to remind theirselves what feminism really is and why it is important. I hope that my daughters live in a world where they would not be seen as lesser human beings because they have a pair of breasts. 

This is not at all what I'd planned to write about, I was going to rant about last night and I will in a subsequent post but this is far more important. 


  1. It's one of those topics that overwhelm me; when I hardly know what to say because of the heat already generated in the East and West. The world is complicated enough by the differences between the Male and Female Human, why should we complicate it further by fighting battles we hardly can comprehend? I keep hearing, "it's a Man's World", over and over again. But then I realized that SIN came through a Woman, and REDEMPTION came through a Woman. What makes it a Man's world without the power of a Woman?

    The ONLY way to excel in this logical world is through simplicity. If you're a Man, you're created that way for a reason. Live like a MAN. If you're a Woman, there's a reason for that. Live like a WOMAN. These genders don't need education to let them exist as their gender requires; it's mapped out already by Nature.

    For the religious ones, search through your good books and see that ALL the women who excelled did so because they were simply WOMEN, not fighting endless and meaningless gender war. Each gender has unique functions and specific powers associated with them. The moment we realize this, we'll stop this meaningless energy consuming activity. Ezekwesili and Akunyili are two great examples of women who have excelled and are extremely respected because they're simply WOMEN. It's about simplicity, nothing more. Be Blessed.

    1. I agree, women should know, accept and embrace their roles.

  2. The scenario you painted at bars or restaurants is very rampant. And if you're doing well they think it's a man that must be responsible for your success.

  3. Thelma Women are not created to be equal to men, d earlier women stop fighting dis gender equality the better for them. Why are women so selfish, u want to be equal to a man, yet u expect ur husband to provide for u, y cant u provide for him?, a man should not him a woman? Y shldnt he, afterall they ve equal strength. Truth is nature created females as a weaker sex that should be dependent on men but civilisation is trying to take that away but trust me, it ll only cause more harm than good. If we are preaching gender equality which is very unnatural, why are we not preaching homosexuality which is equally unnatural. I ve a lot to write tho but let me stop here.

    1. Really? Did u just cough that out after thinking? When God made man and woman,did he expressly say or write that they are weaker? What does weaker mean to u? Physical? Financial? Intellectual or emotional? I know Eve was created to help Adam and I also know u wldnt get help from a weak or lazy person so I ask u again dear anonymous,what is weak?
      The irritating problem with people is they dint think. They don't question popular or/ancient opinions. Well I'm happy a wise saying goes thus: Educate a man,educate and individual,educate a woman,u help build a's now weaker to humanity at large? Lol? If u think men always/only cater to women,the amount of working and independent women proves ur statement wrong!!! And still on the matter,Men aren't polygamous in nature and pls men shld make out time to teach their sons this.

    2. Women are weaker by nature. Women are softer than men, women are more emotional than men, in every way men are stronger than women. Tho a few women try to stand out but it still doesnt take away the fact that men are thr to protect women which is obviously because women are weaker. All dis bullshit gender equality is because men are taking advantage of thr strength and not treating women right, if only God's purpose for man is being followed, the world would be a better place, but No, d devil brought civilisation and evil means to spoil the world.

    3. U seem to know alot bout Gods plans for the world yet humanity has witnessed different eras from Adam to ice to stone to medieval to what we have now to what is meant to come...We wldnt be having this convo if Adam and Eve were made on the 6th day but that still don't mean women shld be treated less than they deserve. After all even the animals that roam aimlessly were created before Man...

  4. @anon2:30 I don't know if I should be surprised at your comment or just swallow hard instead of...
    If you are a woman, it's your type that give men unnecessary hype and adorn them with the glory they don't deserve. And I've met some of your kind. Once a man bashed my car and in a blink of an eye there was traffic due to the fact that I blocked him in front before he got a chance to speed off. The silly idiot just waved at me in apology as if breaking my light and partially denting my car was just smeared bread and butter. After all the drama and grammar and a little crowd had gathered. One anon 2:30 woman came from no where and said, ''young lady, your mouth is just running tatatatah, let the men settle it, so that we can all go'' I was so angry!. I gave her a lecture on gender equality right there and then, as if na man buy me motor in the first place. To think she didn't even know whose car it was before addressing me.

  5. What pains me most about this gender wahala is the fact that a successful woman is seen as having been made by a man (husband, boyfriend, aristos or whatever). And the corporate world? There are simply some positions a woman hardly gets to. I get in a room full of professional colleagues and all I see are a few women! I have actually been involved in meetings with about a hundred colleagues (from different countries) and we women there weren't up to 10. On a personal note, my over 10 years experience and successes were thrown to the wind when my MD brought a younger inexperienced guy (a year younger, though) to head all the technical units (mine inclusive). Why? He thought being a woman, I wouldn't be able to control the men if he gave me the higher position despite deserving of it. Then MARRIAGE! OMG! Men, especially african men believe having multiple partners is their exclusive birth right. And I frequently ask: is it not the same blood that runs in both gender's veins? Why are women with multiple sex partners seen as prostitutes while their male counterparts are seen as hero?.....I could rant on......


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He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
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electrovalent bonds....

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with a packet of durex condom.
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