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Blog Visitor Shares Her Story Of Abuse, Heartbreak, Pain and finallyJUBILATION!







Ok I will give u my story. I met a bastard few year ago about 2011. Dude chased me and I pointedly said I have no interest in marriage. At 17 my ovaries shut down and refused to function. The story of my life would likely be egg donor, ivf. I am a realist. I told this fool that. Pretty much as to why I didnt want a relationship of any sort. I was facing my career. I was 29 at this point. This man cried and begged and told me how he wanted to be married etc. The day he even introduced me to his nasty mother she rolled her eyes at me. And I jusy chucked it up. By the summer 2 days to my30th birthday, this dude said he couldnt continue with the relationship as he was 36 and didnt want to marry a barren person. Now keep in mind dude was not fully able to fend for himself and would loan money from me and pay back one or 2 months later. I cried my eyes out and asked him why he made promises he couldn't keep. Anyways he said he was leaving. On the morning of my birthday he begged to take me out. I was low and somehow I ended up agreeing. It was the worst birthday of my 
life. This fool decided he wanted to come back, I said no. After about a month of begging we got back in july. You know by october this fool repeated the same thing. I lost it and had a nervous breakdown. I simply told him to get lost. He begged, his mother begged me. And she even offered to pay for it. He told me in october to go and get pregnant and prove I can have a child before he married me. 

My father lost his mind and told the dude he would stab him then have him arrested. My dad is very protective of me as I was raped at 9 and left for dead. 

Anyways I never had thoughts of killing anyone till I encountered this dude who wasted over 1 yr of my life.

I did a few things to him. I made sure he had no power supply for about 2 weeks. I also made sure he hemorraged by abt n4million. I was going to have his car stolen from under him and I stopped. Because I realised I was letting bad behavior of others control my actions. I would pray and would just start crying. I couldnt have functional.male female relationships.

My breakthrough came 3 months after my 31st bday. I met someone whom I had always seen in my gym and we were talking. And we hung out and progressed. I asked God for a good man and I got a great one. Notice I didnt say perfect. Not only does he adore me, less than a yr later he has asked for my hand in marriage and has sunk over n10m into my startup, he has also let me choose the destination for our wedding. Did I say he is from one of the old money families in lagos and is extremely humble. 

My point is dont let anyone determine ur path. Difficult people will show up but u cannot let them win. Always ask God for grace, bcos he has designed ur life.

..........

This is a comment from the Last Night I Wanted To End Him post. It's one of the last comments and I only just read it. 
To the anonymous commenter who posted this I thank you for taking the time to share your story. I'm so sorry for everything you went through, when you were 9, what you found out at 17 and what happened with your Ex. I always tell myself and others who have faced certain disappointments and pain that one day God will bless you so much and in that single blessing He will compensate you for all the hurt you have been put through. That has happened for you and I share your testimony with you. 
      No, I don't know how it feels to go through all that you've been through, I can only imagine it. But one thing is certain, it takes only a woman with certain level of strength and grace to hold it all together like you have done. 
      One more thing, your father deserves a big hug!

Please please please remember to send us your destination wedding pictures. I'm wishing you the very best!

Comments

  1. Hmmm. Some people have seen things sha. Blog visitor i'm happy that your morning has finally come.

    ReplyDelete
  2. There is always light at the end of a tunnel!
    Thanks for posting this testimony Thelma!!!
    May all our sorrows turn into blessings and may our blessings be permanent testimonies in our lives!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Dear!!!! God bless U @poster, Ur hubby & Ur marriage!
    U'll have lots of kids jareee "any which way"...
    Send us pictures oh.

    T, shey ur hearing testimonies? Ur own is coming in a grand style!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. That's God for you! A light waiting at the end of a tunnel. I thank God for how He brought you through. *hugs*#Enjay#

    ReplyDelete
  5. ...And I go dey think say na my own worse pass...when I read stories like this, I'm like God is good and no matter what, He will always take care of his own. So happy for you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thelma its my story you posted. I always tell people that when I write about my life even I almost always want to cry because I see how far I have come. Let me just give you a bit more. Prior to this relationship with this fool in 2011, I was engaged to someone in 2010. The fiance was from very humble beginnings but his family did well for themselves and sent him to school in london. I moved back to Nigeria to even get married start a new life etc. Dude should have been a sound human being given his background. Na lie oh, this guy wanted to be a big boy. I was collecting 15% of my old salary at my new job, I didnt really mind because I had made investments in the past and I was even staying at home with my folks. My mom is white, she evn used to make le sandwiches for work, believe me I was glad for that cos the 1.5 hour drive was fairly comfy.
    Wahala started when I asked dude about moving out of his current accomodation because to me the place was a mess. I said ok lets do magodo, ogudu as I felt ojodu was a bit far. I offerred to pay 1yr rent while he paid the 2nd year. This idiot asked me if we could live in a highbrow area in the flat I had bought and was planning to use for investment. And I asked him if hardwork was too much for him because I had been working since 16 and that my investments are meant for my children not him. Dude just started misbehaving. He now accussed me that my father doesnt help him out etc. I said even me my father didnt send me to university I worked and paid my own way thank God for passport. Na so that one scatter. And hence a big part of my resolve with men especially Nigerian men.
    My mother in her oyinbo fashion is a worrier, she can worry for all the 7 continents together. Thats how she would worry and just start crying oh. I moved from the house into the flat. All my 3 brothers married Thelma between October 2011 and october 2012. My father never worried me. He just kept supporting me. When my last job didnt retain me in august 2013, he simply asked for my plans. I said well the school thing is still on my mind. He said where is the plan etc?
    About a month ago I was lamenting about being in over my head with the school. He offered me half. My papa doesnt give anybody money. He offered without conditions. My bf also offered the other half without conditions.
    The wedding is being planned for october, my father, father in law and bf are paying for it. I have been worryingly about updating the spreadsheets and that some things are expensive, and they have been telling me that they will complain if they see any costs that are high. No one has complained. My bf agreed to get married on the beach overseas, he hates the beach.
    4 weeks ago I got a surprise - ticket to go to America the next day to go and buy supplies for my school from my bf. My father had already paid for the container for me to ship the goods back down. My brother in america knew I was coming. All 3 of them planned it.
    Thelma my life is not perfect oh
    But if I complain I would be an ingrate. My bf has told me if I dont want to go through the pain of ivf, surrogacy or adoption is fine. My ex even sent him text messages so he would leave me, the guy is standing firm. He knows my story as I believe in openess to a certain extent and has chosen to walk with me.
    I remind myself on a daily basis- its not in our doing, but at the same time we must give life our best and try to do whats right and Give God the glory.
    I even forgot. Last year January my father fasted for 30 days. The guy is Anglican yo the core. He fasted for my bros wife who had 2 miscarriages to get pregnant and have a baby. She had a beautiful son in October 2013. And he also fasted that I find a good and proper husband. Lo and behold I found one.
    I always ask God for a testimony worthy life. When I had the money to start my school, it didnt happen. Five years later without any money of my own it is happening.
    GOD IS FAITHFUL! AND HE WHO CREATED YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU WITHOUT PROVISION!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awesome God , beautiful testimony, it shall be permeant in JESUS NAME AMEN!

      Delete
  7. Tnx for sharing sis. Indeed our God is Great! Blessed be His Holy Name.

    ReplyDelete

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