I saw *Candy some weeks ago and those were the first words on my mind. I imagined walking up to the size 10 dark skinned beauty and her adorable kids, the picture perfect family minus daddy who was obviously working his ass off to keep his lovely family in the "good life" they had become accustomed to. Maybe it was the slightly evil part of me that itched to see what the confident almost smug smile would look like if I asked her those words. Of course I couldn't. So I sat back and continued to imagine.
True story people, so I'm going to be quite vague because I do not like scandal and these are normal people living out their realities, and fantasies. Candy's husband *Biodun used to be a good friend of mine but naturally we've drifted apart. Yet we talk occasionally as he calls me on my birthday, public holidays, his birthday and on a few random occasions. On one of those occasions I was visiting somewhere in the South where he had coincidentally relocated to a few months before, without his family. When he heard I was around he said I should come through, that his weekend was mad and he really needed to de-stress and have a sane conversation. He wanted to run away from his home and go somewhere. So I asked him why and then he told me the story.
Apparently there's this group on BBM, I really don't know what it's called. But to be a member the least age you can be is 35. And you either have to be married, divorced or a single parent, and I don't know if it's part of the requirements but most of the members are really well to do. I don't know what the general purpose of this group is but from what Biodun told me, some weeks ago they had marriages within the group. He "married" one woman, late 30s, mother of 3. On the day of the marriage they all went out (both of them and some members of the group) and had dinner and celebrated. They he and wifey came back home to his place and consummated the marriage. According to him the sex was mind blowing but wifey being a married woman, he had expected her to go back home to her family the next morning (a Saturday) but no, she stayed over till Monday morning. He didn't really mind as she cooked for him and continued to give him great sex.
The next time she came over the same thing happened but this time she stayed even longer. Also this time she invited one of their friends in the BBM group who stayed in the guest room. The morning after she came Biodun woke up with morning wood and turned to her but he found he was alone. He then got up to search for her and heard moaning. He went to the guest room and wifey was having sex with the house guest, another married woman. Well, that's every man's dream so Biodun joined in. Yippee!
Well now the problem Biodun was facing was that his wife was "falling in love" with him. She was going against the BBM group rules and planning to leave her real husband for him. She had pretty much moved a lot of her things to his place and had even brought one of her kids with her once. Everytime Biodun's family came to town he had to look for where to hide BBM wifey's stuff so that his real wife will not suspect anything. Biodun was getting tired of the hide and seek. The idea was for them to enjoy each other, go out once in a while, spend time when it was convenient and of course have sex. BUT falling in love or getting all emotional weren't part of the plan. Besides they were both married people so that was not even supposed to happen.
When I had this conversation with Biodun I was in shock. I couldn't believe what I was hearing so much so that I put the phone on speaker and *A sef follow me open mouth.
Anyways this group is a pretty serious one. They have quarterly meetings where for instance, members in the Lagos chapter host members from other states. It's all very hush hush but also very classy. Like I said, most of these members and well to do, high profile people successful in their various fields. They usually book some suites in 5star expensive hotels and have a weekend long party, where a lot of sex, threesomes and orgies happen. Remember I said ALL members are either married, divorcees or single parents above the age of 35. When two members within the group get married they actually celebrate the wedding.
And group members married to each other cannot divorce just like that, there are rules and procedures. As you must have figured by now, there are lesbians and gay men within this group, and remember I said these are well respected married people abi?
Anyways some months later A and I visited town once again, (last year) and I spoke with Biodun. He invited me to their party. He said they were having their National Conference, basically all the members in Nigeria were coming to town for the weekend. They had booked rooms in a hotel and it was going to be a weekend of fun and decadence. On the morning of the thingy he called again and asked if I'll come, apparently you cannot invite a friend just like that, you had to run it through the members (they don't need any undercover journalist spilling their dirty secrets!). He said he had told his 'wife' he was inviting someone and she said it was ok, according to him, she'll like to meet me. (hia!). I told him I'll call him back and ended up not taking his calls for the rest of that weekend and after that he stopped calling me. A was busy laughing at me but when I asked her of she would come with me she said HELL NO! Yet we were both curious to see the people in this group, to see what really goes down. I'm sure we wouldn't have believed what we saw!
So when I saw Mrs Candy Biodun I shook my head. And guess the irony of this shitck! The BBM wifey is OLDER than his real wife!!! And she is not as hot. To be honest I've never seen her but I just know she cannot be as hot as Candy! So what is Biodun looking for? I felt sorry for her and I wanted to say "babes I hope you use condoms with your husband o! Because that man is into some really nasty sheeeet". But of course I smiled politely and turned the other way. For all I know Candy has her own dirty little secrets.
Hmmm, these days you just don't know anymore.
So when I see some married persons I'm tempted to ask; have you met your spouse's spouse?