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Comment Of The Day. (Let's Talk About This)

The comment reads:

Please readers HELP with advise. What do you do when you discover that u've been living a lie. Married to a liar who painted a picture of a good life saying he is the boss of his business meanwhile he just goes there to share the working space with friends whom he called his apprentice and I am just discovering this now that am married to him? A guy who told me that he left a prestigious University just to help hustle for his family when the chips were down meanwhile I just heard from his own family member that he never went to any school. He told me he has been paying our house rent meanwhile the landlord came to embarrass me some days back saying we owe 6 months. Lies everyday with different dI never signed up for this in my life. Even with all he brags about I find myself caring for the house alone since we married. When he cries to me to borrow him some cash to add and do business I lend him but never get it back. Do I have bad luck or what's happening to me? should I quit with our 2 yrs old daughter because the load is too heavy for me to bear. Am so unhappy.

Sometime last year, a family friend of mine in her early 30s got married to this guy whom everyone thought to be heaven-sent. The mother of the bride was so ecstatic because she's an only child and I guess they were beginning to wonder if she will get married. As soon as he proposed everything moved swiftly. The wedding was a very lavish affair. I remember wondering how many millions must have been spent. Everyone was happy for the couple and we sent them off to their honeymoon. 

Two months later *Mercy moved back home and immediately started plans to annul the marriage. After much probing her mother found out that the guy, who initially said he owns a business in Ibadan was lying. He has/had no business, no job, no money. The apartment he was living in which was thought to be his own is not his. His friend was squatting him for free, and this is the home he brought his wife to. It was when the friend threw them out that Mercy began to confirm her suspicions. We found out that the entire wedding, from the venue, to the food, to the decoration, to the groom's suit was all paid for from the bride's pocket, (he claimed he was going through a rough patch in business and if they had to wed then, then she should please loan him the money for the wedding). It was also the bride (and her family) that sponsored the honeymoon. The car he fronted as his own belonged to another friend. Basically this BOY had/has no car, home, job, business, money, prospects, nothing! And he lied to my Mercy about everything. 
      Naturally we asked questions; how could she not have known? But I think the relief that she had finally found a husband clouded her thinking. Before you judge her look around you at yourselves, your siblings, your friends... How many of them married for the right reasons? I sure know a lot of people that married out of desperation/pressure/lack of time etc so I don't think Mercy here is worse than many. 

Do the men tell these lies because they're also under pressure to marry and settle down or what? I'm honestly very confused. Please can someone shed some light on why some men do this?

Comment Source: Stelladimokokorkus' blog. 


  1. If he lied for the sex, can understand his shallow thinking but to drag the tale to the extend of getting her married,I can't.hat kind of homes do some men come from? Sometimes I just wonder and shudder...

  2. Everytime I hear or read about such things I'm always surprised. Something similar happened to my cousin in 2005 in Enugu; character-wise though. The bride and her family gave us this church-going, decent, respectable, prayerful trait for more than 20months. Her father even has this large room within his premises reserved only for Rev. Fathers who want to say Mass anytime they visit; a chapel of some sort. But 2 months into the marriage, the seven colors of this *white family became visible. From fetish calabash under his matrimonial bed to blackmails, extortions, sleeping around with men, father-inlaw's proven involvement with the ogboni society...the list no be here. My dear cousin's now happily married to another lady. Just goes to show that anyone wanting to get married MUST involve serious prayers, because a spouse's charade in physical or emotional economy is most times in league with his/her family members.

  3. Hmmmmm, after reading this I drank a chilled glass of Soy milk!
    Yes I know there are gold diggers but going to the extent of marrying her... Kai. wickedness in high places! Women should please Stop being desperate too!!!
    This is why I and my boo now pray EVERYDAY oh! As in EVERYDAY cos with God, everything will be Better than fine!

    1. Boo everytime, please take a chill pill you are not the only lady with boo

    2. Why the hatred????? If you are so pained, talk about your boo too! If you don't have one, wait until you do! mscheeew!

    3. Exactly...anon 4:53, ruthy talks a lot about her boo and she's not stopping u from talking abt urs. Stop hating jarey!!!.
      It just shows dat she's proud of hers, so if u're not proud of urs, it's your fault and ur business.

  4. This is just pathetic. But using your own money to do everything is a sure sign of desperation.

  5. This stories never get old.... There will always be lazy men with horrible upbringing looking for desperate women to prey on. And sadly, there's an endless supply of desperate women so I think it's up to the women to make sure they don't fall victim to such men.
    Marriage isn't the end of the world, the fact that you do not have a husband doesn't define your existence. One way to avoid this is to learn to be happy and content in your singleness, that way you'll be able to see through any BS

  6. Anon 4:53 am so sorry bout ur SAD state! Amazingly Being in Real love isn't ebolar virus! I can't help U contact it!!!
    Yup! I Love My Boo...


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Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
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After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
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electrovalent bonds....

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