Skip to main content

Comment Of The Day. (Let's Talk About This)



The comment reads:

Please readers HELP with advise. What do you do when you discover that u've been living a lie. Married to a liar who painted a picture of a good life saying he is the boss of his business meanwhile he just goes there to share the working space with friends whom he called his apprentice and I am just discovering this now that am married to him? A guy who told me that he left a prestigious University just to help hustle for his family when the chips were down meanwhile I just heard from his own family member that he never went to any school. He told me he has been paying our house rent meanwhile the landlord came to embarrass me some days back saying we owe 6 months. Lies everyday with different dI never signed up for this in my life. Even with all he brags about I find myself caring for the house alone since we married. When he cries to me to borrow him some cash to add and do business I lend him but never get it back. Do I have bad luck or what's happening to me? should I quit with our 2 yrs old daughter because the load is too heavy for me to bear. Am so unhappy.
.......

Sometime last year, a family friend of mine in her early 30s got married to this guy whom everyone thought to be heaven-sent. The mother of the bride was so ecstatic because she's an only child and I guess they were beginning to wonder if she will get married. As soon as he proposed everything moved swiftly. The wedding was a very lavish affair. I remember wondering how many millions must have been spent. Everyone was happy for the couple and we sent them off to their honeymoon. 

Two months later *Mercy moved back home and immediately started plans to annul the marriage. After much probing her mother found out that the guy, who initially said he owns a business in Ibadan was lying. He has/had no business, no job, no money. The apartment he was living in which was thought to be his own is not his. His friend was squatting him for free, and this is the home he brought his wife to. It was when the friend threw them out that Mercy began to confirm her suspicions. We found out that the entire wedding, from the venue, to the food, to the decoration, to the groom's suit was all paid for from the bride's pocket, (he claimed he was going through a rough patch in business and if they had to wed then, then she should please loan him the money for the wedding). It was also the bride (and her family) that sponsored the honeymoon. The car he fronted as his own belonged to another friend. Basically this BOY had/has no car, home, job, business, money, prospects, nothing! And he lied to my Mercy about everything. 
      Naturally we asked questions; how could she not have known? But I think the relief that she had finally found a husband clouded her thinking. Before you judge her look around you at yourselves, your siblings, your friends... How many of them married for the right reasons? I sure know a lot of people that married out of desperation/pressure/lack of time etc so I don't think Mercy here is worse than many. 


Do the men tell these lies because they're also under pressure to marry and settle down or what? I'm honestly very confused. Please can someone shed some light on why some men do this?


Comment Source: Stelladimokokorkus' blog. 

Comments

  1. If he lied for the sex, can understand his shallow thinking but to drag the tale to the extend of getting her married,I can't.hat kind of homes do some men come from? Sometimes I just wonder and shudder...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Everytime I hear or read about such things I'm always surprised. Something similar happened to my cousin in 2005 in Enugu; character-wise though. The bride and her family gave us this church-going, decent, respectable, prayerful trait for more than 20months. Her father even has this large room within his premises reserved only for Rev. Fathers who want to say Mass anytime they visit; a chapel of some sort. But 2 months into the marriage, the seven colors of this *white family became visible. From fetish calabash under his matrimonial bed to blackmails, extortions, sleeping around with men, father-inlaw's proven involvement with the ogboni society...the list no be here. My dear cousin's now happily married to another lady. Just goes to show that anyone wanting to get married MUST involve serious prayers, because a spouse's charade in physical or emotional economy is most times in league with his/her family members.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hmmmmm, after reading this I drank a chilled glass of Soy milk!
    WTH....
    Yes I know there are gold diggers but going to the extent of marrying her... Kai. wickedness in high places! Women should please Stop being desperate too!!!
    This is why I and my boo now pray EVERYDAY oh! As in EVERYDAY cos with God, everything will be Better than fine!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Boo everytime, please take a chill pill you are not the only lady with boo

      Delete
    2. Why the hatred????? If you are so pained, talk about your boo too! If you don't have one, wait until you do! mscheeew!

      Delete
    3. Exactly...anon 4:53, ruthy talks a lot about her boo and she's not stopping u from talking abt urs. Stop hating jarey!!!.
      It just shows dat she's proud of hers, so if u're not proud of urs, it's your fault and ur business.

      Delete
  4. This is just pathetic. But using your own money to do everything is a sure sign of desperation.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This stories never get old.... There will always be lazy men with horrible upbringing looking for desperate women to prey on. And sadly, there's an endless supply of desperate women so I think it's up to the women to make sure they don't fall victim to such men.
    Marriage isn't the end of the world, the fact that you do not have a husband doesn't define your existence. One way to avoid this is to learn to be happy and content in your singleness, that way you'll be able to see through any BS

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anon 4:53 am so sorry bout ur SAD state! Amazingly Being in Real love isn't ebolar virus! I can't help U contact it!!!
    Yup! I Love My Boo...

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

One More Post...

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Giveaway Finale!

Happy Sunday y'all. 
This is the conclusive part of #WCG. 
All the N25,000 recipients have received their cash.
All the students have also received their N10,000. 
Once again guys please comment under any of the posts, or this one that you've received your money. Thanks. 

So moving forward, this final giveaway contains 
1. N10,000 for 5 people. 

2. 3 kimonos from Julian's dressmakers. 
3. 3 pairs of Palm slippers from WaleOnibata. (Gents) 
4. 2 pairs of shoes from Courtney's Closet. (Ladies. Size 9 and Size 11). 

5. 1 human hair wig from Gabby's Wigs'n'Weaves. You pick from one of the wigs below. 
6. 3 cakes from CakesandCream 

7. A getaway at CitiHeight Hotel Ikeja for 3 people. (Who can each bring one person along).  


As I said earlier, Kon has already won a stay at CitiHeight and Clare, a kimono. So those gifts are now available for 2 people each. 
There is no competition. We are only going to play a game. 
I have each gift item listed out in numbers. Number 1 to 100. …

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa