I'm about to tell a story I have no business telling. It's not my story to tell so personal details have been changed or obscured.
Her name is *Princess. Princess is my age mate (29). Princess was born into a wealthy family. She attended the best private schools and after secondary school she left for the UK where she did her University and Masters. After her Masters she returned to Lagos. Her family lives in Banana Island. She has lived in Ikoyi all her life and her circle belongs to the upper class. A life of Exclusive clubs, extravagant spending and lavish living. Princess met John in January, in April they got married, four months after meeting.
His name is John. John was born into the lower class. He was born in a rural area and lived there for several years before his family relocated to Lagos, Ejigbo to be precise, where he lived in a three bedroom flat with his parents and eight siblings until he met Princess.
Now I don't know how Princess and John met, I've never asked. When I met them so many questions ran through my mind. What was Princess doing with John? Was she desperate? She was 27/28 when they got married, too young to be desperate, in my opinion (I may be wrong as some of my friends got married at that age out of desperation). Yes she's not very pretty but she's not ugly either so that can't account for it. How come her parents allowed her marry someone from such a background? How come she couldn't meet and marry someone from within her circle? What did she see in John? WHY DID SHE MARRY JOHN?
Everything was smooth and rosy during the brief period of courtship. It wasn't till the wedding night that Princess realized that she don enter one chance.
Of course the wedding and all expenses were taken care of by her family. Her father bought them a house in one of the estates in town, he also bought them a jeep and bought them a brand new Lister generator. On the day after the wedding Princess who all her life had lived in air conditioned apartments found that she was sweating. Yes there was no light but why wasn't the generator on? She went downstairs to find out why but no generator! John told her he had sold it, they didn't need that kind of big generator; tomorrow Monday he will go to Alaba and buy small generator. Princess was confused.
Later that week John told Princess that they will no longer go to the church her family attends but one closer to home (John was trying to minimize her communication with her family). As if that wasn't enough, in the subsequent month John told her that they were to leave their Orthodox Church completely and begin to attend Mountain On Fire. Princess was even more confused.
John stopped working and started staying at home and spending Princess' money. His father in law began giving his a few contacts and a few jobs to do so as to be independent, he never told Princess about this, nor gave her a kobo from any of these jobs. In addition to that he started to sell most of her things, especially her gold, her wristwatches and other expensive jewelry.
He added all the friends on her BBM to his BBM and the ones that didn't want to be his friends he insisted she cut them off.
One night John came back late, as he had been doing often, but that night Princess who was getting tired locked him out. John then jumped over the fence, removed the plugs for the generator and took them with him so that Princess will be in darkness, he also removed the cut-outs so that if PHCN brought light, she wouldn't have light. After doing this he drove away.
One day John called me and said we needed to see. I had moved back to my parents' for the time being and told John I wasn't around, he said he didn't care, he will drive down to Surulere to see me. This was on a week night and I couldn't understand why he will drive that distance and through all that traffic just to see me. (Mind you John and I aren't friends, if anything it's Princess I have a relationship with). When he saw me the first thing he did was to ACCUSE me of putting on weight. He said I didn't look as pretty as I did the last time he saw her and he was clearly disappointed. (I was confused). He then tried to get over this disappointment and move on to the purpose of his visit.
Apparently he was very tired of his marriage. "Nwando don't be in a hurry to marry, there's nothing inside. I regret ever making that decision. Imagine Princess left the house over six weeks ago. Her phones have been off. She is staying in her ex boyfriend's house and has left me alone. That girl is very wicked. You won't believe that since she left I've not eaten good food. There's nothing in the house..... Please will you come and cook for me tomorrow? Please, I know you can cook unlike that my wife. I will come and pick you up. Don't worry I won't do anything, I just need company. Do you still smoke? I will buy cigarette for you (as if I couldn't buy 10 naira cigarettes if that was my problem). Any drink you want. Hennessy or Champagne, just tell me which one so I can buy it this night on my way home."
I told him to come and pick me the next day after work. Immediately he left I called someone whom I knew will call his wife and relayed everything that had just happen. You won't believe that the wife only just left Nigeria that morning for the US, where she ran to for her dear life. Just as I thought the person called wifey and told her, I know because that was the last time I heard from John.
Wifey got pregnant and decided to go and have the child in the US. John stood vehemently against it, said she was going abroad to prostitute. Eventually she travelled and you won't believe that John wrote the US embassy to tell them that they should deport his wife, and that they are not to give his son papers because his wife travelled without his permission and that she's a prostitute. (Bloody illiterate).
Since Princess returned John has taken to slapping her as his new sport. At every given turn; Slap. In fact she says slapping is his new "good morning".
John has moved several of his siblings to their home and his friends from his former hood as well, Princess she become an object of ridicule in her own home as he openly tells everyone who cares to listen that both she and her mother are prostitutes, and that she is a useless spoilt brat. John got a contract with their estate and has started making more money but even at that he has not till date contributed a thing to the home. He didn't even as much as buy a vest for their baby.
Some weeks back they went to the village and his village friends were praising him for how beautiful his wife and son were looking, he told them not to worry that when the son is old enough to start school he will send him to the village and put him in the village school for them to train him. Princess couldn't say anything.
Sometime last week he advanced from just slapping to serious beatings. Princess says she didn't do anything to him, he just came home in the night and woke her up with beatings. She says John now brings girls home and sleeps with them in the house.
Now what I don't understand is this:
Why did Princess meet John in January and marry him four months later?
Why are Princess' parents just watching? (I hear her father doesn't know all that's happening, but the mother knows most of it ....and since divorce is not an option Princess should endure....)
Why won't Princess get up and leave while her life is still intact? (I'm unsure whose name her father bought the house in but I think she should just leave anyways. Separation is not divorce).
Why is Princess pregnant again????????
Yes, the baby is barely a few months and Princess who says she regrets ever being born is pregnant again. I hear that's John's plan, to continue to get her pregnant one baby after the other so that she will be stuck.
Tonight I just heard some more horrors from the household of John and Princess and I didn't know when I started crying. These I cannot write because they only just happened and like I said, this isn't my story to tell.
Someone who also knows some of what Princess is experiencing said "that is why I have always said, and will always say the rich should not marry the poor. The rich should marry the rich and the poor should marry the poor. When the two mix you end up with problems like this" (I know I've said that on this blog months ago, this is the story the person was referring to).
Do you think John's problem is inferiority complex?
As I say my prayers tonight I shall ask God to save Princess from the hell her life has become, and for every other person I know who marriage has become a burning cross to bear. No one, especially someone as beautiful, and decent and kind like Princess, no one deserves to be so miserable and unhappy. Marriage is not supposed to be a curse, or a cross.