Skip to main content

Is It Really That Big A Deal?

I think I may have raised this before (I really can't remember) but if I did then I obviously didn't get answers. 

Please ARE BLOW JOBS SUCH A BIG DEAL? I really need to know. Everytime a guy talks about breaking up, or divorcing or cheating on his significant other it always seems to have something to do with blow jobs, or (more appropriately) the lack thereof. In one of the episodes of Being Mary Jane this guy tells his wife who he's cheating on that he's moving out as he no longer loves her, they get into an argument and then he gives a list of reasons for moving out/leaving her for the other woman, and one of them is "you don't give me head anymore!". Seriously!

Earlier today I chatted with *Laura. She thinks dear husband might be cheating on her and says she's almost sure of it. Without confirming she says she's sure it's because she's slacking in bed and asked me how to give a good blow job (RME), I immediately referred her to google. Laura said she wants a "real" person to explain it to her, and she wants to know if it smells. It's really obvious she's dreading doing it but she feels she doesn't do that for hubby, so if he's cheating then that must be the reason. 

 I've had many guys here in Lagos tell me that if wifey doesn't give 'head' then nobody can blame him for cheating and she should expect him to cheat. I just have to ask, what is it about 'head'? Isn't sex enough? What if she finds other ways to pleasure you but finds putting your penis in her mouth too repulsive... It's still ok to cheat on her?

And why do most guys say they can never go down on a woman yet expect her to do same for him with a smile on her face? I just don't get it o! I know someone who literally pukes every time she gives her boo head, and he still makes her do it! Isn't that plain cruelty? (I know you'll read this, yes I think it's cruelty!). And of course she does it, all in the name of "keeping my man (happy)". 

Ladies, have you ever had issues with your man because you refused to go down on him? 
Guys why do you feel not getting a blow job justifies infidelity? 
Ladies, why do you thinks it's ok to stop giving your man quality sex once he puts the ring on your finger? (At least I hear most women do). 


Please can this public holiday continue till Friday? Doooooooon't end please!


  1. One of my friends is a chronic polygamist like his father, and he believes that, since men are "born polygamists" they are entitled to have affairs, but women are "bound by tradition". One day I asked him how he would feel if his wife damned tradition and started having affairs. He wasn't sure of what to say because he never thought something like that could ever happen.

    I'm quite surprised that any right thinking man could cheat on his wife for flimsy excuses like inadequate blow-jobs. Maybe he knows he'll sound very foolish saying he can't help curbing his sexual urge each time he sees young sexy women order than his wife, like my friend would say. So the "I'm not getting adequate head" excuse comes up. Most guys I know cheat on their wives because they "don't want to be eating only gbanga soup". If head de hungry you, buy porn movies or visit porn sites and watch with your wife, and learn. Because if you're the type that doesn't give your wife head and feel only you should get one, don't hang yourself when you return home one day and see Jeremiah bare chested on your matrimonial bed.

    1. you are one of the funniest and smartest commenters on this blog!!!!

  2. Lool I really dont see wats wrong in giving head and receiving lol. Shouldn't be a big love it no matter how holy they seem. BUT if I give I must recieve it's only fair. To ur friend , no it does not smell and if it does get him in the shower and wash it your self. It's all in the mind, trust me. But still not a reason to cheat. Why is it that women dont cheat when they r not getting any eh. Anyways it's not all men and women shouldn't blame themselves when the sinner of a husband is cheating. He might br getting it ten times aday and still cheat.

  3. hmmm It all goes down to communication. men should tell their wives / gf and also teach them too..wives should learn to pleasure their hubbies and men who demand for blow jobs from wives or girl friends should show their partners how pleasurable it is by giving it to them! YES! because some nigerian men won't eat a woman up but they all want blow jobs. brother why ?? that does not work in my world. I personally don't have a problem giving my bf or future hubby a blow job.. as long as he goes down on me then we are good.
    My ex wasn't too keen on going down on me because he didn't like it.until i stopped giving him bj. Also after giving him a bj he never liked kissing me because he felt that was gay.. he feels he's kissing his own penis lol.. so much restrictions smh...oh get this but he loved whenever he kisses me after eating me up because that means I like how I taste and it's a turn on for him..SUCH DOUBLE STANDARDS with that man.
    Point is men should start eating their partners up then maybe gf or wifey can know how good it feels and learn how to satisfy their men.. Communication guys..

  4. Nothing can ever justify cheating, so we should separate that from the discourse.

    But the bj thing na die! How and why should you not get it?? Returning the favor should never be a big deal especially if you are married and sure that both of you are not cheating.

    For the singles, it is very risky with the kind of balling going around and the extensive network of people every individual is dealing with. HIV/AIDS is real and people must be careful who they "service".

    1. Lmao @ na die! Lol. It's that serious, yeah? Hahahahaha.

  5. geegee is right.. these things should be reciprocated.. men want to receive but cannot give. As long as you guys are safe it's all good.. and wale yea..HIV is real not just to single people also the married one's that sleep around should be aware of it as well..BE SAFE y'all.

  6. 1st,I did say Being MaryJane is just full of confused people/ characters.
    2ndly,I wanna know,is there a diff feeling to lips over a guys dick than the kitty? Like what's the diff feelings between a hand job (which most men do for themselves) to blow job to sex itself? (And I refused to include anal)

  7. If you have received good head before as a lady, I think you will know what the big deal is. Men loves head, the ones that don't have not received before. @sasha bone, there's a difference, its like asking what's the difference between having a finger in your pussy to a dick or a hand on your clit to a tongue

    1. So the lips is diff to the kitty? Yet its the same hole just in different locations of the body..hmm. If a guys finger is the same size as his dick,I doubt if I shld notice any diff. Btw,blow job isn't African. It was brought to us through western porn...#runsaway

    2. Sasha the "Amazing"! I always love your take on things.... Western porn. Interesting.

  8. LooooL....
    I get blank these days! Once again, NO comment T

  9. I preach reciprocate the act Mr! Test your microphone? Lick my plate, will u?

    1. Its also called Southern cuisine ma'am. Keep it classy...*winks*

  10. Ladies, why do you thinks it's ok to stop giving your man quality sex once he puts the ring on your finger? (At least I hear most women do).

    Thelma that's the core of most issues of men straying.
    Ask these your married friends well. You will discover this;
    1. African men do not suck pussy as a rule but out of passion and lust. They are not in the majority and it depends on your level of 'display' on him that turns him that wild. Your hygiene level and smell must be great. If the ladies are sincere who ask for reciprocal treat, the neatness state of a dick and pussy can't be compared.

    2. Why do single ladies suck dick well and are wild or very much fun in bed during the days pre wedding but begin to form conservative after marriage or begin to rationalize equal treat from hubby. You were giving him head and treats that drove him to marry you seeing he will enjoy his marital bed with you. YOU did not rationalize or demand head from him during courtship. It wasn't a problem. Now you are married, you deny him because of what you read from such activists from blog forgetting that he didn't do it then meant he doesn't do it. Even if you want it from him you should use style to let him learn. No man will decide to do it if he realised that is your attitude-giving him a tit for tat attitude. Why now? Why not then? A lot of women read blogs and begin to imbibe what kill their relationships forgetting the man you deal with is different. You try it and it backfires.

    1. Pls just stop! Pls! U choose what part of sex is African nd what part isn't? Are u kidding me? First it was Black Magic now u? SMH at this generation of men looking forward to be husbands!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!

One More Post...


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.