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Mrs Working Mum versus Mrs Housewife. (The Ongoing Debate).



Last week and this week there has been arguments on different platforms, blogs and forai both locally and internationally on the Working Mother vs House Wife (stay at home mum). Though I took a keen interest to it I didn't think I was going to do a post on it until I saw a comment -F made on the HERE  post.

I briefly listened in on Wana Udobang's show (on 92.3 Inspiration fm) where she discussed this topic some days ago. As usual several people called in, both Working Mums and Housewives. This is what I gathered from the calls: 


Men these days want a woman who can contribute to the family. (Even if she stays at home, she can learn a trade, add value to herself, work from home etc)

Housewives are usually judged by Working Mums (and other people) who see them as lazy, some go as far as calling them gold diggers, unambitious etc

Housewives are also judged by in-laws who accuse them of sitting at home and chopping their son's money while contributing nothing. 

Some Housewives feel inferior to Working Mums: When they meet up with old friends who are working mums they find that they no longer have much in common with them as Working Mums are discussing work, their bosses, recent policies, politics, the corporate world, while all a Housewife has to talk about is baby formula, school runs etc. The caller said this also leads to the end of some friendships as there's no longer common ground. 

Housewives want people to know that it is a CHOICE. Most Housewives are qualified professionals who have chosen to stay at home and bring up their children themselves, not leaving them to the hands of nannies and house helps (which working mothers wish they didn't have to do). They CHOOSE to stay home and train the kids. 

Being a Housewife is NOT indefinite. When the kids are old enough they intend to return work or start a trade.

Most Housewives find themselves constantly having to explain their decision to people. 

Do not be a Housewife if your husband's income alone is not sufficient to take care of the family. 

Most Working Mums would prefer to be Housewives and bring up their children by themselves but cannot because of the economic or financial implication. 

It's been days but this is what I recall. Basically the divide between Housewives and Working Mums is real and one usually feels judged by the other. 


Do you agree that most Working Mums would rather stay at home and look after the kids? 
think they would, if there was enough money and they didn't need to work. The decision to leave ones children in the hands of nannies and maids who are basically strangers is frightening, a necessary evil at best. But then there women who are not cut out to sit at home, women whose careers (either working from home or in an office) are their lifeline, their raison d'être. To these one the thought of being Housewives would be tantamount to a death sentence. 

Do you think one is more honorable than the other?

Note: Wives who work from home and have an income are not Housewives. 

Comments

  1. Used to be a housewife for 5 years and only recently became a career woman.
    I almost lost it to depression for a while as a housewife because I did it basically for my kids sake, it wasn't fun but thankfully my husband was and is a gem who felt I was wasting away, I obviously wasn't lazy nor ambitious as I didn't have any help, by the end of the day i get just as tired as anyone who went out to work.note however that my confidence started waning, simply because I couldn't do a lot of things with money I had to be prudent and pity my husband.
    Now as a career woman, what Ive noticed is that I do not have time to cook 3 square meals for my family again, homework is always done for the kids in a jiffy, I have lads of money but my health is suffering, I don't even have time to look good again.Gone are the days of hanging out, going to the spa, even shopping for my family is a hassle.
    Women need to let go of unnecessary arguments of which is better both have pros and cons with neither being better. Pardon my typos just off work and I'm drained sigh.
    Live and let live!

    ReplyDelete
  2. People don't actually knw dat being a housewife does more harm dan good. I don't know abt others but my mother wasn't a housewife and it helped me n my siblings a lot. Not only were we ambitious as kids because we wanted to be like mummy. We learnt to be independent. We learnt to behave properly with or without mummy. My elder sista wud warm d food, I wud serve it, my junior sista wud clear the plates and someone wud wash it depending on d rooster. We were orderly, disciplined independent. All she needed to do was leave the instructions and talk to us. Thou she spent a lot of time with us sha and we Neva felt her absent. Because even in her absent her voice stil rang in our heads.
    My opinion is that you shouldn't be @ your children's beck and call. They should learn to be independent. Don't let them see mummy as som1 dat is just good in washing plates and sweeping the house esp your daughters before they begin to think that it's the way a woman shud be and your son's wud begin to expect their wives to be stay @ home mum.
    Another things is this: When your kids are old enough and they leave for the university, what wud you fallback to? Wud u be waiting for your kids to give birth so you wud continue babysitting or u wud just sit @ home all day for the rest of your life?
    D matter of leaving ur kids 2 strangers is somthin u can do nothing abt. Bcos @ age 2 maximum, a child shud alredi b a student. His or her teachers are strangers. You don't know what dey can do 2 ur child. You just pray, educate your kids, always find time everyday to talk to them, put camera's all over your house to catch the idiot that wants to molest your baby. If your dream is to be a career woman, pls and pls again go for it. Or on d long run, you wud feel like thou life cheated you.
    #MyOpinion
    #Sorry 4 d long Epistle #IAmNina

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Nina,
      I was a SAHM mom for 5 years as opined above because i had my kids back to back.ls don't get me wrong but i think you refer to women spoiling their kids, my kids all 5 and above are very independent, in fact the 5 year old sweeps and mops his room, my daughter picked the beans we cooked tonight, swept and mopped the kitchen afterwards. Whats my point, whether stay at home or career women, those who will spoil their kids will always do and kindly note that money is not an issue I simply do not need interference in my home by bringing in strangers, I was molested as a child and so Im a mother hen, thankfully my husband is God sent because we all share house chores so we do the one we can do and leave the rest for another time.

      Delete
  3. Ruth Oya open ya ear & learn from experienced women oh!
    1st Anon, WELLDONE oh! Am sure ur proud of your kids. At 5 doing so much...

    That's my plan too oh!!! Stay at home mom for a while (with an up & running business definitely), Career woman afterwards (still with a running business)!

    I can't come n go n die! (in my lil cousins voice).
    May God give us all a God sent hubby who'll understand biko!

    This way, my kids will see 1st hand the 2 sides if the coin.....

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anon... I totally like ur style. U just stayed 4 5yrs. Wich is great. I just don't buy d idea of being a stay @ home mum 4 2long. 5yrs is Okay. I hav an aunt Who has bin a stay @ home mum 4 12yrs! 2 me she is wasting her time cos her kids re grown naw n dey re soo dependent on her. 2 d stranger part. I was molested wen I was in primary school by my classmate inside d school premises. I was molested by our hair dresser. I was molested in church(Block Rosary - Catholics will understand). Three times only one ended in penetration. None of dis happened in my haus. N I was nt above 8. D first tym it happened I sed notin. D second time I sed notin dey only got 2 find out bcos I fainted n dia was blood all over my cloth. D third tym he just touched my breast n I started screaming bcos b4 den my mother had told me wat 2 do. I was molested n silent bcos I was nt sex educated. I wasn't told wat 2 do wen it happens 2 me. Mumsy was too busy findin d perfect househelps dat won't molest us (which she succeeded in doin) Bt she didn't knw abt d outside predators. Fact is that u can't really STOP it. You can try 2 prevent it Bt weda u re a stay @ home mum or working class mum (unless you want to follow ur kids evriwia) sex educate ur kids.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's Nina talking by d way.

      Delete
    2. TMI ( too much info)...we don't need to know it u ok! Just like u don't know its me typing this...:)

      Delete
    3. she just opened up a very personal and painful part of her past and you have to say is TMI, sad how some people can be so callous.

      Delete
  5. anon 1:58 pm you are just very insensitive and dull. i am a mother and this information helps. parents especially mothers shldceducate theirckids on sex and harrasment. my mum did and at an warly age i knew wen an adult male was being inappropriate with me. i always spoke up to my mum. PLEASE MUMS AND MUMS TO BE LET YOURCHILREN ESPECIALLY DAYGHTERS FEEL FREE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT ANYTHING?

    ReplyDelete

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