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They Feed Their Men Fat Because They're Scared Of Losing Them.

He used to post his progress on a blog for people trying to lose weight, but he doesn’t anymore. When he started trying to get in shape, he weighed a little over 350 pounds. He told me all about his plans and his goal weight and how he was going to do it, and I could feel a little piece of me die inside. I wanted him to be successful because I loved him, but I knew that — at my weight, about 280 pounds — a fit and attractive boyfriend would not stay with me for a long time.

I’m sure you’re thinking, “Why didn’t you just lose the weight with him?” And for a while, that’s exactly what I did. But I knew that between my compulsive eating, my medical problems (yes, there are actual problems that contribute to weight gain or retention), and my depression, it wouldn’t last long. And it didn’t. I hurt myself during a class at the gym in front of all the fit people, and comforted myself by ordering half the menu at KFC and eating it in my car while listening to tHE radio. It wasn’t pretty, and I had to spray cologne on myself before I walked in the house so that he wouldn’t know where I was or what I was doing.

When I started to fall off the wagon, I knew that he had to, too. I started cooking nice dinners and guilting him into eating them because I “spent so much time cooking them.” (I would load them up with butter and cream when he wasn’t looking.) I brought bad foods back into our cupboards that I knew he couldn’t resist. When we had our scheduled classes at the gym, there would always be something extremely important that we had to go to. It only took about three weeks for him to be done with the weight loss, to abandon his online journals and stop talking about it to friends. Now, he’s back on his side of the couch, eating fast food and watching TV with me.

I know this makes me a bad person, and I know that you are going to hate me for it. I would hate me, too. But when you have made a relationship with someone as a certain person, and with them as a certain person, if one of you changes — it’s over. No one says that it’s over. No one tells you, “I’m going to transform my life, and when I’m there, I will leave you.” It’s just what happens. The fact is that we are all with a certain kind of person because they fit who we are. They can relate to us, they can understand us, they can even make us feel normal (or beautiful). Being fit and slim in the eyes of the world is a huge change, one that makes you feel like you deserve more.

And maybe you do.

I posted this story I found on the Thought Catalogue some months ago and forgot about it till I was chatting with a friend earlier today and she brought it up. She "Nwando remember that post on your blog about the girl that was stuffing her boyfriend with junk so that he won't lose weight and become too good for her? You won't believe that's what I'm doing". 

My friends story is this, she's been dating this guy for sometime and is hoping marriage is the next course of action but she has concerns. First off she thinks their age might be an issue, she's 29, he's 30. Not an issue for them but it might be for his mother. According to her someone introduced his 30yr old girlfriend to his mum and his mum freaked out, she said there are young 22 and 23 year olds fresh out of the university that her son can marry, why marry an old woman? According to my friend this is typical of Igbo mothers. 

To make matters worse she's on the chubby side. Her boo occasionally likes to keep fit. Recently she's been trying to make sure he doesn't renew his gym membership and has been feeding him with carbs ; garri, poundo, egusi, and oily foods. It's bad enough they're almost age mates, if she begins to look older than him then that might mess things up for her (especially with his mother). 

Yes we know she can join him at the gym and go on a diet but for now that's not happening. 

What do you guys think about this?
@ the first story do you agree that if he loses weight and starts looking better he'll become too good for her? 


  1. that is very selfish and inexcusable.

  2. Lol...this sounds like the article bout change u did some days ago (bolu or so was the xter). I guess when people have what they want,they realise they can do better than what they have... Sounds pretty selfish nd fcvked up,but that's life,50 shades of it...

  3. As for ur friend,she shldnt stress it. If shes chubby,she cld rock more of knee-length dresses cos they make one look more feminine and younger. As for his mother,that's his battle not urs. If push comes to shove,skip the pill...*winks*

  4. tell your friend to work on her self esteem.. I mean what she's doing is just crazy...Cmon noww..Yes she's on the chubby side but she can tag along whenever he goes to the gym,and they can both find healthy meals together.. btw if she's eating those carbs frequently she will end up looking like his aunty. health is wealth :)
    As for the question.. it can go both ways, the woman will start having esteem issues..too shy to be naked in front of the boo.. having sex in the dark etc or oga may decide to look for some size 4-8 hottie..

  5. Yes, I agree he will become too hot for her but then what?? The woman better step up her game if she is concerned, women have this issue with turning small issues to world war. Hian!

    The man will die from eating junk food and the whole load will be carried by the silly wife! What kind of thinking is this? The world will kill people with the obsession for lepacious body.

    I am an African man oh, the fleshier the long as wife can carry the load.

    1. Er,do u have to be African to like what u like?

    2. Nope, but the emphasis was necessary so people remember where we started our journey from.
      The lepa syndrome didn't start from Africa so we got used to loving our women with extra flesh before all the confusion started!

    3. Hmm...but as a man,are u as fleshy as how u like ur women?
      Don't wanna make a debate off this but can u like what u like w/o defending itself. After all some "African men" like em slim,short,tall,fair dark,etc...
      Its funny but i haven't heard women say:im an African woman,i like them like this or like that. Or have we been accepting them however they come?

  6. Yes, it's very possible. About your friend, she should join him in the gym if she's uncomfortable with her weight. The whole idea is to become a "better" person with "better" self esteem. Not like losing weight is the only means to achieve that, but sometimes this is the mindset of big people. However it depends on how her boo likes her.

    Permit me to digress a bit, all I hear is how to lose weight and nobody talks about how to add weight. Different strokes for different folks.#Enjay#

    1. too,always wanted to add but ive decided to love and accept my sticks nd bones

  7. LOL... this got me laughing. Ur friend never carry belle & she's doing this? Please tell her to forget boyfriend & his Mom & think of herself biko. Health is priceless! Being fit doesn't mean being slim!

    I used to wear 58kg since i's 18-21yrs old. At 22 in a space of 6months(Industrial training) I added 25kg & looked like a blue whale. Le boo said he lived all my curves & edges but when I see his 6packs & stare at my old pictures, I weep.
    The Gym at Excellence hotel in Ikeja became my buddy!
    I started Dieting too oh. In a month I lost 15kg... Flat tummy was my aim cos my mom always said no matter how fat/big a woman is, a flat tummy makes U sexy & curvy!
    Am a 67kg now but am still keeping a steady exercise routine & no more dieting nor junk food.

    It's ALL for ME!!!! I & Myself!!!

    If at 29 she looked 20, Le boyfriends mom will hit her gym!

    1. Choi please my own is to lose tummy. I like the rest of the borri but that tummy is a big issue

  8. Enjay do U want to add weight???
    Oya send your mail Addy, I have a recipe.
    It's not expensive too...


    1. Abeg your very annoying this Ruth character!!

    2. OMG! LOL...This blog has characters sha!

    3. lol this troublesome anonymous woman you are here again.. leave miss ruth alone oo kia

  9. Na wa Oo°˚˚˚°! Madam anon is it ur data Ruth is using to comment? Whala dey Oo°˚˚˚°!
    Back to d matter ur friend should help herself, it's not easy I no buh she has to help herself and hit d gym feeding d guy fat is not the solution lai lai!

    1. Am sure am not the only one who has noticed. Talk true madam tokoni the girl is annoying and she talks too much... A great talker is a great liar #justsaying

  10. LooooL!!! How am I just seeing this??? Anon.... how can ur life be this sad? u don't add to this blog, U just spew hate!!!
    Kai, don't fie on top my matter oh? *spits*

  11. I also have a female friend in this predicament, she was 33 when she marriedxher 29 year old hubby. the insecrity made her feed him fat, but alas, he still dey womanize. she has since decieded to live her life and not die on top of the guy matter. unfortnately, most men dont know what they have. they will rather settle for shit than make it worlk with a good woman. this friend of mine is the kind of woman men pray for, very supportive and extemely hard working. so ladies do urself a favor, treat ur self right, trust me, your boo will take a que and treat u right.


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