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When Is Cheating Cheating? + Does Sexual Dissatisfaction JustifyCheating?

I seem to have the weirdest conversations after midnight. And this one, I just have to throw open. 

So I just had a chat with *Mase and quite frankly I had no business having that kind of conversation with him, but well... It happened. 

Going straight to the point; he's seriously considering cheating on the Mrs and in his opinion he is justified. 

According to Mase, when they were dating they weren't sexually active and now that they're married, madam isn't too keen on the sex. But the greatest problem is that she's not even willing to try to do those things he really wants her to do in bed, specifically and most especially, oral sex. Initially he took to masturbation and sex toys (like the one above). On the one hand, she nags about it (still not trying to compromise), on the other hand, he isn't even satisfied with that anymore. 

He said he wants what he wants. He has needs, and if his wife, who's duty it is  to meet those needs is not willing to take care of them, if and when he finds solutions outside she has no right to complain. 
He says he does everything she wants in bed but when it comes to his needs she's selfish. 

My question is; is sexual dissatisfaction enough justification for cheating?  

If your partner can't meet your needs no matter how much you've tried, are you justified in getting that satisfaction elsewhere or do you just suffer in silence? What do you do when your sexual needs are not being met by your partner?

Let's go one step further. What do you do when your emotional needs are not being met by your partner/spouse? Is finding that emotional fulfillment outside your relationship/marriage tantamount to cheating? 
(To paint a scenerio, you're a married woman but you have that male friend you tell everything to, you spend hours with him on the phone, you share all your secrets, thoughts, plans, achievements, disappointments, regrets, feelings, time, emotions, conversations etc with him. He's the first thing on your mind when you wake up in the morning and the last thing on your mind before you sleep. You tell him things you can never tell your spouse, and if your spouse was to see your chat-history with him it could result in serious trouble. Is this still cheating even though you both aren't having sex or any form of physical intimacy? (This applies to men also.)

When is cheating cheating?

Let's Talk. 


  1. hmmm..I'm not married but i think communication is very important when It comes to these things. He has discussed this with his wife and she still wouldn't budge. truthfully and I know i may get called out.. i don't blame him if he goes looking outside..same thing if this was happening to his wife. c'mon!! HE HAS clearly stressed out his needs and no response.. that's harsh to me.
    which brings me to why sometimes having premarital sex before getting married can be rewarding (in most cases). say this was happening while they dated, she would have left him (after cheating constantly on her) or she would have decided if this is what she wants ( giving bj) to do while having sex...or better she might have considered learning how to please him while dating.

    As for your question..yes it is cheating ..emotional cheating and to me that is even worse than just having sex.. been there before..dropped him like hot dodo ! ha!

  2. LOL... I read this post & laughed... T, it's really funny. we humans always find a way to justify our wrongs! Just as A SIN is A SIN against God no matter the hows & whys associated, Cheating/Unfaithfulness is what it is! CHEATING/UNFAITHFULNESS!!! Be it emotional, physical etc.
    Plus I don't totally believe Ur friend. Some guys want the whole crazy anal shit & if she says No, it's his reason to cheat...LOL, Dude pls... He should cultivate a healthy Sexual appetite First, then talk to her bout it. make the process FUN. If she isn't bulging, KEEP TALKING. DO NOT cheat, that's like quenching fire with fire! Enjoy ur marriage M.

    1. Sure you ain't Married and if you are pity Your husband. Naija women r mostly logs with vaginas.

  3. Not to sound holier than thou but is oral sex that important? I think I can live without but to save yourself all that confusion down the road I'd advice you know your partner's sexual orientation before you go into marriage. I've seen women cheat on their husband because he's boring in bed, that doesn't make it right. Marriage is for better or worse right? Know what you're getting into before you get into it.
    Cheating starts when you start having those kinda thoughts about someone else, for instance, women, it's when you start paying more attention to you appearance cos of someone that's not your man. Men, it's when you get start having sexual thoughts of another woman. Not until u kiss or sex her.

  4. I agree with the first commenter. If your boo cannot satisfy me then nobody can blame me for going outside to get help.

  5. I have to agree with Ruth and Steele on this one.


  6. All I have to say to this post is: I HATE DOLLS!!!!

  7. I totally agree with Ruthylicious and Steele ( although I disagree that oral sex is not important....whatever is important for the 2 people in a marriage is important). Marriage is for better for worse. As sad as it is for better for worse.
    Cheating is cheating. Nothing can excuse it. It's not easy at all....from personal experience. ..but we must continue to try.

  8. P.S. I also wanted to say thatI just happened on this blog and I'm really enjoying the comments on this blog...mature and thoughtful. Bravo peeps.

  9. Courtship o! Courtship! How do you propose 2 some1 u haven't discussed almost everything about you - your weirdness, sexual craziness etc. Please dis is a question u shud hav asked b4 u married her. Ur partner shud giv u oral sex or any kind sex so far as it's nt inhumane. So my dear it's ur mistake n u must carry ur cross.

  10. Courtship o! Courtship! How do you propose 2 some1 u haven't discussed almost everything about you - your weirdness, sexual craziness etc. Please dis is a question u shud hav asked b4 u married her. Ur partner shud giv u oral sex or any kind sex so far as it's nt inhumane. So my dear it's ur mistake n u must carry ur cross.


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Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
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intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
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the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
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