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Dear Thelma, Was I wrong?




Thelma, I saw the post on your blog about the role of a man in a relationship and I'm in support of the girl. Your man should take care of you. I'm not saying it is his duty but if he loves you then he should try to make your life as comfortable as possible, to the best of his abilities. 
      My problem is quite different. Yesterday on my way home with my boyfriend something happened to the car, I don't know if it's battery problems or something but the car stopped moving and it needed to be pushed. My boyfriend came out to push the car but I stayed inside. He asked me to come and help him but I refused because the road was very busy and I have not pushed a car before, especially on that kind of busy road. I told him to get people to help him which he did eventually. But he's still angry with me. He said if I couldn't help him push his car then it means when he needs me I won't be there for him. According to him it's time to "re-evaluate our relationship". I think this is ridiculous, I love him, I have helped him in the past and I will continue to help when I can. Was I wrong in not helping him push the car? Does it mean that I will not help with other (more important) things in his life. Thelma I love my boyfriend and I don't want to lose him and this talk of re-evaluating our relationship is scaring me. (btw I offered to steer the car while he pushed but he wanted both of us to push instead) 

.............
Dear poster, I just saw your mail this morning. 
I don't know if you were right or wrong but I don't think your man should even allow you to push his car with him on a busy road.

Ladies what will you have done?
Is it really time to re-evaluate the relationship (*rme*) or is oga overreacting? 

Comments

  1. Dear poster,I think you are very wrong,even if you won't push the car with him,sitting in it while ur boyfrnd find people to push it is wrong,atleast show concern and respect by stepping outa the car.@ thelma,but she can ride in the car with him on a busy road abi,lol..@ poster,just try and apologise jare

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  2. I know I won't push sha. he should stop overreacting jare.

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  3. OK but how would you have felt if your car was to stop in the middle of the road and he gave your excuse and asked you to call ppl to help. If I were your man, I would totally reevaluate our relationship. What you did was selfish and might I add it was quite petty of you to refuse to come down at all. My dear, it's possible he wanted you to show concern and who knows maybe that one act of actually coming down and disregarding everything else around would have elevated you from girlfriend to fiancée. I would have come down to help, let it be him who refuses me pushing. Honest to God if I were the guy, the minute the car started I would have left you standing in the middle of that busy road. Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you FULL STOP.

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  4. U felt pretty big to push d car on dat busy road but didn't feel d same when oga was still driving. U gave no valid and visible reason as to y u couldn't at least offer to get some help. Stop over-analysing d roles of women and men in relationships. Madam poster, just apologize and don't be strong headed abt it.

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  5. U were wrong...

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  6. Dear poster u didn't do well @ allllll u shld hav come out the moment the car stopped and be ready 2 push the car if u really love him like u claimed, whether the road was so busy or not afterall u wia enjoying the ride on a busy road, and u had to wait till he asked you to push the car and you refused. Most guys will not allow you to push that car but I think he asked you to do so bcos of your attitude,so if u wia alone with that car won't u hav pushed it? So pls go and ask for forgiveness immediately!!!!!!!!

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  7. Your boyfriend wants to reevaluate the relationship because of that? Hmmm...

    Though what you did was wrong, I just think he was embarrassed pushing the car on that busy road and felt angry that you (who I suspect was embarrassed also) didn't even attempt to show concern. But don't get all worked up; the chill pill will work on him soon. Just don't say or do anything out of order to escalate the issue. *suppress laugh*

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  8. You are very very wrong. And you expect the man to treat you well. Somr women deserve the rubbish treatment they get. In life you attract what you put out. You should have gotten your self out of the car and pushed from the middle so you werent directly on tbe road. Love is sacrifice please dont utter how you love him. You ignored him in his time of need. If that man breaks up with you, you surely deserve it. If you dont want to be treated that way, then why do it to someone else.

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  9. Me too I won't push o. Nawah for the pushing, when he has a new car now,he'll get a new girl and won't remember you pushed d old one with him.

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  10. Me too I won't push o. Nawah for the pushing, when he has a new car now,he'll get a new girl and won't remember you pushed d old one with him.

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  11. i think you were wrong for staying in the car after he asked for help.. at least he bothered to push the car..he's not your help..he's mean to be your partner..

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  12. Na wa for all these women sending these mails to T oh!!! Kai...

    See how U are romancing single hood @40 with ur baseless pride.

    At least tell him u won't push the car in a concerned manner by coming outta the car & asking people for help.

    Even when I's in school & joins public transport & the bus/car gets bad/require pushing, everyone joins including me oh!

    I hope he doesn't reevaluate the relationship sha oh!

    *Joins Memphis in stifling laughter*
    I love ur comment Uju.

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  13. hmmm, it wasnt nice of ur boifriend to tell u to push a car. Hell no! My hubby cant try dat. But u should have gotten down and asked for help. U aint d only one at fault dear. But just apologize.
    ZINNY.

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  14. Its quite funny how we all blame the girl now but in the othe post,u all claimed he's the boyfriendd and owes her nothing! How come this doesn't apply to his case? Is she is wife?
    Double standards stinks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sasha! i need the like button for your comment!

      Delete
    2. I million likes. Double standards stinks terribly!

      Delete
    3. I million likes. Double standards stinks terribly!

      Delete
  15. What are you people saying here. why will boy a friend want girl friend to push the car with him. What value will her pushing add . If she offered to man the wheels while he pushes is that a bad thing. My boy friend will never let me come out to push car in traffic if it can be helped. abeg make the guy part well. is that the kind of support he needs from her. "to push car" haba, this is not fair.

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  16. Hmmm,you know what if you really care for your boyfriend and the car stops you will come down from the car first.The guy might have told you to stay back or to stand by while he gets ppl to push.The fact you just sat there baffles me o.No matter who is driving a car if it breaks down I'll get my ass outta the car.Probably you sat there pinging away showing no form of concern.I have been in those situations and my husband will tell me to sit back but I'll move to come out.The day I didn't make that attempt he complained....and yes I'v joined ppl to push the car and we laughed all the way home about it.So you r wrong sha

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  17. The only thing she did wrong in my opinion was staying back in the car while he pushed. Also, a man who asks a lady to push a car on a road full of men who could assist requires a re-evaluation himself.
    -F

    ReplyDelete

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