A few minutes ago I was writing a post on 'Loving The One You're With' with my new resolution to begin to appreciate the men who're interested in me and look upon them for those things I want. I reflected and thought, they might even be of more value than those one I think I like, I might find that even though this might not be what I thought I wanted, it might turn out to be what I actually need. And I said to myself, if I never try then I'll never know.
With that final thought I began to feel very optimistic. Now here's the thing. I told y'all I'll be going out tonight. Everything was ready, I knew where I wanted to go and we had already made plans; we'll start with drinks at Sailors Bar, move on up to Facade and then go with the flow after that. My dress was laid out. I'd had a shower and done my make up but just before I headed out I totally lost interest and I changed my mind. An hour later he started calling and after about four calls I picked and gave very lame excuses; Friday nights are too crowded, I was dozing off, I had a long day etc. He kept calling and asking that we go anywhere I want, do anything I want, have whatever I want but I said No, I want to sleep. I suggested that we shift plans to tomorrow.
This is probably the 25th time (at least) I've cancelled on this guy between February and now. But tonight, when I said tomorrow I genuinely meant tomorrow. In fact I did something I never do, I said he should come visit me at home tomorrow. So that even if I don't feel up to going out we'll still spend time together and he agreed.
Then I started writing the post with him in mind. Suddenly I thought about it and for the first time since I met him I decided in my heart to give him a chance. Why not, Nwando? He's nice, young, good looking, great job, caring, very comfortable, he basically has most of the essentials. I began to feel rather excited and optimistic and then I got an alert on my phone:
I'm wondering; should I apologise and ask for a second chance? Or should I just let it go? Am I losing out on something good here? Or will he have turned out to be another waste of time?
Does the cookie really have to crumble?
I already know how old I am, but if you still feel the need to remind me (especially the ones that will ping me when they see this post)...be my guest. Goodnight lovers!