For the past few days/weeks/months I've been asking myself and everyone whom I thought could answer questions relating to love, relationships, marriage. To be specific,
-Are attraction and chemistry really important in the long run; in long term relationships and in marriage particularly?
-Can love and friendship come after marriage (if it wasn't there before the marriage)?
I've been particular about this because I sincerely haven't felt any connection to anyone in a while and it's been a source of concern to me as I constantly worry that I may miss out on a good man with whom I could have a happy life and home. When I saw this post on bride2mum.com I was relieved. I felt like someone had finally clarified things for me. See what bride2mum says below:
Have you ever been in a relationship with this guy, nice, caring, loving, perfect gentle man, better than every other one you have dated but yet you don’t just feel him, there is no connection, you try to work hard to love him and the more you try, the more it stresses you out as love and commitment becomes work?…
There are two kinds of great guys you might meet in life, there is “A Great Guy” (not for you) and “The Great guy”(made for you),
“A great guy” versus “The great guy”
-They are both ideal men but one is great for you while the other isn’t
-With a great guy, you try hard to love him, with the great guy, love is not an issue with him
-You may think you are not worth a great guy’s love because you don’t love him back and you pity him… You love the great guy and he loves you back and you guys may even be wondering who loves each other more
-You walk around egg shell with a great guy and may not be free to be yourself but with the great guy, you are at ease, you enjoy every moment and things are just fluid with you guys
-You would totally enjoy and look forward to hanging out and communicating with “the great guy” but most times hanging out with “a great guy” is like a chore
I am not saying that every guy you are free with, that fits into the characteristics of “the great guy” is your husband o, I am just saying if you are with “a great guy” and you don’t understand why you can’t connect with him, then he may not be the one.
Why you shouldn’t Marry a great guy
If you listen to everybody and still marry “a great guy” that you almost have no connection with aka “you are not feeling” you would most likely be
Angered easily or bitter
Most likely regret it
Bored out of your mind
Resent the people that advised you to marry him
Struggle to submit
May not have a fulfilled sex life
If you marry “the great guy”
Fulfilled and this will lead to being the best you can be
Enjoy almost every moment
Connection is magical
You will definitely get angry with him sometimes but hardly bitter
You will not struggle to submit and other things
Most likely have a fulfilled sex life.
All I am trying to say, don’t get it twisted, for the fact he is a great guy and fits the picture of the ideal man doesn’t mean he is for you, therefore another girl “a great guy” could be “the great guy” for another girl.
This does make sense to me but I would like to hear from you guys? Do you agree with what bride2mum has said?