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Just In Case I Wasn't Sure Before... (The Cookie Has Well And TrulyCrumbled).

So I told you guys that he was Offshore and he said he will like us to meet when he gets back to town. Friday (last week) was that day and he came to pick me off from the office. This was at about 5pm. I was starving and I just wanted to eat. I wanted the moi moi, vegetable soup and croaker fish they sell in the Calabar kitchen just beside my office but he had more Five Star plans. Who was I to complain, especially as I have a favourite in the restaurant he suggested. Barely five minutes after picking me up, (remember that this is the first time we're seeing since the day we met months ago, the first date...) he asked me about my love life. I told him I have none, my exact words were "nonexistent". "So if there's no love life, what do you do about passion?" He asked. I instantly felt a bit sick. I dunno what about the word "passion" instead of 'sex' irritated me. I shrugged. That wasn't first date topic as far I was concerned. We still had so much to talk about; family, career, jobs, dreams, aspirations, likes/dislikes, jokes etc. I didn't think my sex life was an appropriate topic. I also couldn't understand why it was the first thing he wanted to talk about. 

We got to the restaurant and ordered. Well I ordered. He insisted he wasn't hungry and had just had lunch. He said he was very full. I had a starter first, asked for a set of seafood spring rolls. First off I was starving. Secondly I do not joke with my seafood so you can imagine my annoyance when they brought my starter and he proceeded to share it with me. I tried to ignore him, it was just the starter and besides it meant less calories so....enjoy! But then they brought my main course and I didn't feel so generous anymore. 

So like I said this was my favourite and I really really wanted to savour this meal. When they brought it he went "hmmm what is this? I've never seen this food before" then he asked if he could taste. I nodded and he did. "Hmmmmmmmmm" he tasted again. And again. And again. At this point I was almost boiling. 
"If you're hungry then I think you should order your own food. I asked and you said you're not. I'm not happy you're eating my food". He immediate apologized and put down his fork. (He still helped himself to some more after that saying he couldn't "help it".)

While I ate and he sipped his Long Island we talked about his family and where he grew up. He was obviously bored with that and once again asked. "So how come you don't have a love life?". Once again he asked. Once again I shrugged. "So what do you do about passion?" He asked again. This time looking at me dubiously. That word again! Passion. Aaargh! I pointed out that a love life and a sex life are not mutually exclusive. He nodded; true. "So you have passion?" He asked eagerly. Grinning. "No I don't have a sex life either". He was momentarily bewildered. "How? You don't have sex?" He asked incredulously. I shook my head. "Since when?" I told him. He eyes became wide like two saucers. "Are you serious?" He asked, this time genuinely confused. I nodded. "But why? Why will a beautiful young woman like you.......... No passion? Why? How do you do it?" I immediately looked at my watch and started formulating excuses in my head. I wanted out the minute I was done with my food. Unfortunately I didn't drive. 

He spent the next hour or so trying to understand why I don't have "passion", how I cope without it, what I do when the urge arises? And finally when did I plan to start having sex again? Believe me when I tell you that this was all he talked about. I told him I needed to leave, I had to go to Surulere to see the parents (so he wouldn't try to drop me off at home). He walked me to the taxi park just outside the restaurant put me in a cab and paid for it. "Let me know when you get there. Let's make plans for tomorrow, it's weekend, we could go dancing" he said and I nodded. 

As soon as the cab moved I told the man I wasn't going to Surulere, he was glad to keep the balance as home cost about half of what was paid to him to take me to 'lere. 

Now here's the tricky part, this guy who has called me at least twice every other day in the last few months has not called me since our date last week Friday. The only time he called he started by saying "hello, the lady who doesn't have passion". He asked we could hang out then said he'll call back. This was on Tuesday. He's still yet to call back. 

Now you see one of the reasons I decided to remain in abstinence? To separate the wheat from the chaff. When my dear friend Matty called me some days ago, after talking about other things he asked about my sex life, he said; "Now Wando this will make it even more difficult to get a man. But on the plus side you'll know that the man you get really means business". I can't agree more. 

So after all the stress the Cookie-Crumble guy went through, and telling me I need a man that will be by my side bla bla bla, telling me he loved me and wanted a serious relationship, all he was after was my "Passion"? Odi egwu! The cookie finally crumbles biko

My friend said I need to stop telling guys I'm off sex. I told her I will definitely not lie when they ask me. I think it's best I let them know from the onset so that if that's what they're after I'll save them the stress. This guy has just convinced me that I'm doing the right thing. I spent several years compromising myself for less than worthy men. The beautiful thing about abstinence is that the longer you go without sex, the more value you attach to it and your body. It becomes almost impossible to give up the goodies to just anyone, your body becomes way too precious and valuable. This feeling beats any sexual urge I can possibly have or the desire to please any man.  

Have an awesome weekend my people.  


  1. you are so on point dear. its funny using the word passion. trust me, the right man will come soon and waltz you off ya feet.

  2. Sorry to lol but whenever I read "passion" is can't help it.

    Btw,is Matty unavailable?

    1. My dear feel free to laugh. It had the opposite effect on me, made me want to tear my hair out.

  3. Lol @ him eating the spring rolls- I feel you jare!
    What a wimp that guy is- I mentally veto-ed him immediately I got to the part of him badgering you about your sex life- who does that? Only an unserious man who's looking to get laid, definitely not a man who respects you and sees you as a woman of integrity worthy of "knowing better" ( the tables turn sha, some players become serious about ladies they never set out to be serious with.... In fiction.)
    What is wrong with some men sef?
    I used to meet those kind of guys but, I have to say, from the last 4 years before I got married, I somehow didn't meet those kinds any longer- I always met guys who were serious minded and who wanted to settle down- it made me wonder if it had been something I was giving off.
    On telling guys about your celibacy, I say as long as you don't make it a subject matter for dissection when you're supposed to be getting to know the person.
    Attraction can sometimes be inevitably magnetic- if you are with someone like that and you have that sort of moment, I believe that should be the point to disclose your stance. That's what I think though- if he's serious he'll stay and if he's not, he'll bolt out and even if you might have liked him before he bolted, it'll be comforting to know you didn't commit yourself to an ass.
    I don't know, hope it makes some sense....

    1. You're right about tables turning, and not just in fiction. I was just telling a colleague who's anti-love earlier today about my friend and her boo. He just wanted to have a one night stand and move on, she just wanted to 'chop' his money and move on. Three years later they're still stuck on each other. LOL.

      As for the sex issue, it's not something I volunteer to talk about especially as the stress of answering the questions that inevitably follow is just too much. But when asked by certain people I'm honest about it. 'Certain' i.e potential love interests and few others that I'm comfortable with.

  4. Yes na Sasha, Matty is Married with Kids & I hope he;s still Uber Rich...
    As for Mr Passion, Mr All I want to do is tear your clothes & body, Thank U for saving us the stress of reading one more weird blog post about U... Oniranu!

    I even prefer the guys who go straight & ask if they could have sex with me, cos that way we both save our Time & Energy!!!

    T, I sent a blog post oh!!! *TTRWT*

  5. Na real passion! I couldn't stop laughing! Have missed u boo. U just ex'd me..

    1. My sister how can I ex you? My phone went crazy and all it does now is makes and receives calls, nothing else. I have miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiised you! Everytime I pass your zones I almost get teary eyed. The other day I was like damn I miss Henrietta, then I went well, it's not like if you're around we'd be hooking up that often considering your situation , then I thought at least I'll know you're around and I can see you whenever I want. My sister even asked after you about an hour ago. Everyone misses you terribly, we can't wait till you get back.

  6. Pretty disappointing but I am with you on this one, glad you checked the guy out though. At least you have crossed him out now and can move on.

  7. What an idiotic membrane!!!! Passion u know.....I'm trying to hold my self my from really insulting him but it's really hard....Goat!!!

  8. "The beautiful thing about abstinence is that the longer you go without sex, the more value you attach to it and your body." Golden statement.

    So this Mr CookieCrumble was rolling over for 25(or is it 26?)times simply because of *Passion*. Too bad, I actually placed him as someone responsible but looking for Chemistry at the wrong side of the road. The way he persistently used the word made me laugh hard. Pea brain.

  9. Arrrrrrghhhhh, to think I have been patiently waiting for this guy's gist only 2find out he aint 4real.

    Oh well.Thelms, the right one would come.Of that am sure!

  10. Some men tho!smh!Hello nwando!

  11. You might have to kiss many frogs before getting to your prince.... This guy was a major frog.
    I abstained from sex from September to April just because I was getting too wild and making stupid decisions cos of sex. The advantage for me was that I wasn't letting girls get away with the things I used to let them get away with cos I wanted to nack. I started surrounding with girls with brains and not just banging bodies. My whole mentality shifted

  12. Abstinence has cost me a lot of guys but I've never regretted my stand and still don't. I don't make it a point of discussion but if and when it comes into question, I tell you the truth. If you can't handle me without "bedmatics" exercise, then so long my friend.

  13. Passion passion passion oh Passion. Lol. So so annoying. Sorry dear. You'll be fine dont worry. *Hugs*


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Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!

One More Post...


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I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

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Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

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Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.