So I told you guys that he was Offshore and he said he will like us to meet when he gets back to town. Friday (last week) was that day and he came to pick me off from the office. This was at about 5pm. I was starving and I just wanted to eat. I wanted the moi moi, vegetable soup and croaker fish they sell in the Calabar kitchen just beside my office but he had more Five Star plans. Who was I to complain, especially as I have a favourite in the restaurant he suggested. Barely five minutes after picking me up, (remember that this is the first time we're seeing since the day we met months ago, the first date...) he asked me about my love life. I told him I have none, my exact words were "nonexistent". "So if there's no love life, what do you do about passion?" He asked. I instantly felt a bit sick. I dunno what about the word "passion" instead of 'sex' irritated me. I shrugged. That wasn't first date topic as far I was concerned. We still had so much to talk about; family, career, jobs, dreams, aspirations, likes/dislikes, jokes etc. I didn't think my sex life was an appropriate topic. I also couldn't understand why it was the first thing he wanted to talk about.
We got to the restaurant and ordered. Well I ordered. He insisted he wasn't hungry and had just had lunch. He said he was very full. I had a starter first, asked for a set of seafood spring rolls. First off I was starving. Secondly I do not joke with my seafood so you can imagine my annoyance when they brought my starter and he proceeded to share it with me. I tried to ignore him, it was just the starter and besides it meant less calories so....enjoy! But then they brought my main course and I didn't feel so generous anymore.
So like I said this was my favourite and I really really wanted to savour this meal. When they brought it he went "hmmm what is this? I've never seen this food before" then he asked if he could taste. I nodded and he did. "Hmmmmmmmmm" he tasted again. And again. And again. At this point I was almost boiling.
"If you're hungry then I think you should order your own food. I asked and you said you're not. I'm not happy you're eating my food". He immediate apologized and put down his fork. (He still helped himself to some more after that saying he couldn't "help it".)
While I ate and he sipped his Long Island we talked about his family and where he grew up. He was obviously bored with that and once again asked. "So how come you don't have a love life?". Once again he asked. Once again I shrugged. "So what do you do about passion?" He asked again. This time looking at me dubiously. That word again! Passion. Aaargh! I pointed out that a love life and a sex life are not mutually exclusive. He nodded; true. "So you have passion?" He asked eagerly. Grinning. "No I don't have a sex life either". He was momentarily bewildered. "How? You don't have sex?" He asked incredulously. I shook my head. "Since when?" I told him. He eyes became wide like two saucers. "Are you serious?" He asked, this time genuinely confused. I nodded. "But why? Why will a beautiful young woman like you.......... No passion? Why? How do you do it?" I immediately looked at my watch and started formulating excuses in my head. I wanted out the minute I was done with my food. Unfortunately I didn't drive.
He spent the next hour or so trying to understand why I don't have "passion", how I cope without it, what I do when the urge arises? And finally when did I plan to start having sex again? Believe me when I tell you that this was all he talked about. I told him I needed to leave, I had to go to Surulere to see the parents (so he wouldn't try to drop me off at home). He walked me to the taxi park just outside the restaurant put me in a cab and paid for it. "Let me know when you get there. Let's make plans for tomorrow, it's weekend, we could go dancing" he said and I nodded.
As soon as the cab moved I told the man I wasn't going to Surulere, he was glad to keep the balance as home cost about half of what was paid to him to take me to 'lere.
Now here's the tricky part, this guy who has called me at least twice every other day in the last few months has not called me since our date last week Friday. The only time he called he started by saying "hello, the lady who doesn't have passion". He asked we could hang out then said he'll call back. This was on Tuesday. He's still yet to call back.
Now you see one of the reasons I decided to remain in abstinence? To separate the wheat from the chaff. When my dear friend Matty called me some days ago, after talking about other things he asked about my sex life, he said; "Now Wando this will make it even more difficult to get a man. But on the plus side you'll know that the man you get really means business". I can't agree more.
So after all the stress the Cookie-Crumble guy went through, and telling me I need a man that will be by my side bla bla bla, telling me he loved me and wanted a serious relationship, all he was after was my "Passion"? Odi egwu! The cookie finally crumbles biko.
My friend said I need to stop telling guys I'm off sex. I told her I will definitely not lie when they ask me. I think it's best I let them know from the onset so that if that's what they're after I'll save them the stress. This guy has just convinced me that I'm doing the right thing. I spent several years compromising myself for less than worthy men. The beautiful thing about abstinence is that the longer you go without sex, the more value you attach to it and your body. It becomes almost impossible to give up the goodies to just anyone, your body becomes way too precious and valuable. This feeling beats any sexual urge I can possibly have or the desire to please any man.
Have an awesome weekend my people.