Some nights ago, I Kissed. Lol. You guys have no idea how huge a deal this is for me... It feels almost surreal. The thought of the kiss, not the kiss. No, not the kiss! That kiss was anything but surreal. It was at best, sloppy. And that's the word my first boyfriend used to describe our first kiss, my first kiss. So with this in mind I'm going to write a list of the first times I had a really memorable moment. Here goes:
My first day in Uni: my daddy came with me and did all my registrations for me and cut through all the queues and my classmates were seriously vexing and looking at me like who is this Agbaya.
My first kiss: the first time I was kissed I was 16 (disgusting, best describes it). The first I kissed I was 17. As I've already said it was sloppy and I kept thinking is this it? Am I actually kissing? Am I doing it right? Am I making a fool of myself? Well some months later with that same mouth he called my kiss sloppy, he said to me "you're the best kiss I've ever had". Looool. Look who perfected the art?
My first love: I have a feeling I'm still yet to meet him but the first kiss guy is the closest I've had to true love. Unfortunately I was too young to appreciate it and when I got into Uni I was a bird that wanted to fly. So on my matriculation day I broke a young man's heart when I told him the final "it's over".
My first heartbreak: I literally CANNOT remember.
My first carry-over: (not proud of it but hey, it happened!). I was sooooooooo embarassed to be seated in a class with my juniors and writing an exam meant for my juniors. I felt like a failure and a loser. (Never mind that many of my classmates and several of my seniors were writing that exam too. Constitutional Law; the most sadistic course I wrote in Uni!).
My first Sex: Painful as HELL!!! Like a scissors shredding my body into two pieces from the middle.
My first day in Law School: I cried and cried and cried. God did I offend you so badly that you had them post me to Kano? That day is so far one of the saddest days of my life. I wish Kano campus only on my enemies.
My first day in camp: Stressful but in camp omo mehn I used my feminine wiles I nor go lie you. From day one I got both the soldiers and male officials to want to help me, and Oh, help me they did. From day 1 to day 21, and even after *Wink* It's good to be a woman!
My first day in court: Dear Lord I was a nervous wreck! I went to move a motion and I thought I would pee in my pant. I probably did a little. "My Lord, the motion before me is a ....." The rest is a blur.
My first job interview: the first thing I can remember is that the lady was so damn beautiful! She is easily the most beautiful woman I've seen in my life. No makeup at all. Just like me she's about 6ft, she's light skinned, natural hair, very large hips and the most flawless skin I have ever seen. She had a lilting British accent. Everything about her was so.... "Pure", she seemed almost unreal. I couldn't stop thinking who is the lucky man that married this Angel of Perfection. The interview was pleasant and brief, unfortunately a few weeks later she returned back to her Law practice in the UK, something about Nigeria not being what she had expected...
My first deliverance program: it was in a church where they were using big Bibles to beat people. People were being viciously spanked and slapped all over their bodies, on their faces, backs, bellies, buttocks, heads, legs.... to beat the problems/demons/STUPIDITY (my opinion) out of them. Before they got to my turn I politely showed myself the exit.
My first orgasm: it was a Eureka moment, an epiphany. The moment I realized sex was to be enjoyed by both parties. Up until then I thought it was something you did to please your boyfriend, to keep him happy and make him stay. I honestly never knew that women could enjoy sex.
My first Paycheck: it wasn't much but it felt so good. I felt like "Wow, I worked for this, I actually earned this, I earned this!" I'll never forget how joyful I felt, I also suddenly felt very mature. LOL.
My first blog post: I was thinking; what am I doing? Am I actually doing this? Yes, I'm doing this thing o! Why am I doing this? (Still haven't been able to answer that last question).
These are some of my firsts, don't let me be the only one spilling. What are some of your most memorable firsts?