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My First... (A List Of My Most Memorable Firsts).

Some nights ago, I Kissed. Lol. You guys have no idea how huge a deal this is for me... It feels almost surreal. The thought of the kiss, not the kiss. No, not the kiss! That kiss was anything but surreal. It was at best, sloppy. And that's the word my first boyfriend used to describe our first kiss, my first kiss. So with this in mind I'm going to write a list of the first times I had a really memorable moment. Here goes:

My first day in Uni: my daddy came with me and did all my registrations for me and cut through all the queues and my classmates were seriously vexing and looking at me like who is this Agbaya

My first kiss: the first time I was kissed I was 16 (disgusting, best describes it). The first I kissed I was 17. As I've already said it was sloppy and I kept thinking is this it? Am I actually kissing? Am I doing it right? Am I making a fool of myself? Well some months later with that same mouth he called my kiss sloppy, he said to me "you're the best kiss I've ever had". Looool. Look who perfected the art?

My first love: I have a feeling I'm still yet to meet him but the first kiss guy is the closest I've had to true love. Unfortunately I was too young to appreciate it and when I got into Uni I was a bird that wanted to fly. So on my matriculation day I broke a young man's heart when I told him the final "it's over". 

My first heartbreak: I literally CANNOT remember. 

My first carry-over: (not proud of it but hey, it happened!). I was sooooooooo embarassed to be seated in a class with my juniors and writing an exam meant for my juniors. I felt like a failure and a loser. (Never mind that many of my classmates and several of my seniors were writing that exam too. Constitutional Law; the most sadistic course I wrote in Uni!). 

My first Sex: Painful as HELL!!! Like a scissors shredding my body into two pieces from the middle. 

My first day in Law School: I cried and cried and cried. God did I offend you so badly that you had them post me to Kano? That day is so far one of the saddest days of my life. I wish Kano campus only on my enemies. 

My first day in camp: Stressful but in camp omo mehn I used my feminine wiles I nor go lie you. From day one I got both the soldiers and male officials to want to help me, and Oh, help me they did. From day 1 to day 21, and even after *Wink* It's good to be a woman!

My first day in court: Dear Lord I was a nervous wreck! I went to move a motion and I thought I would pee in my pant. I probably did a little. "My Lord, the motion before me is a ....." The rest is a blur.

My first job interview: the first thing I can remember is that the lady was so damn beautiful! She is easily the most beautiful woman I've seen in my life. No makeup at all. Just like me she's about 6ft, she's light skinned, natural hair, very large hips and the most flawless skin I have ever seen. She had a lilting British accent. Everything about her was so.... "Pure", she seemed almost unreal. I couldn't stop thinking who is the lucky man that married this Angel of Perfection. The interview was pleasant and brief, unfortunately a few weeks later she returned back to her Law practice in the UK, something about Nigeria not being what she had expected...

My first deliverance program: it was in a church where they were using big Bibles to beat people. People were being viciously spanked and slapped all over their bodies, on their faces, backs, bellies, buttocks, heads, legs.... to beat the problems/demons/STUPIDITY (my opinion) out of them. Before they got to my turn I politely showed myself the exit. 

My first orgasm: it was a Eureka moment, an epiphany. The moment I realized sex was to be enjoyed by both parties. Up until then I thought it was something you did to please your boyfriend, to keep him happy and make him stay. I honestly never knew that women could enjoy sex. 

My first Paycheck: it wasn't much but it felt so good. I felt like "Wow, I worked for this, I actually earned this, I earned this!" I'll never forget how joyful I felt, I also suddenly felt very mature. LOL. 

My first blog post: I was thinking; what am I doing? Am I actually doing this? Yes, I'm doing this thing o! Why am I doing this? (Still haven't been able to answer that last question). 


These are some of my firsts, don't let me be the only one spilling. What are some of your most memorable firsts?


  1. T I LOVE this!!! Ur 1st deliverance session na REAL WTH... Chei...

    Well, here I go...

    My 1st Kiss: I'll never forget. His name is Daniel, the cutest boy on my street then. Everyone wanted him. He choose me. LOL. U know the feeling. Oh yeah, i's 15.
    (if only my mom reads this blog). Then his wicked aunt sent him to school in cross rivers...

    My 1st S*X experience: am still screaming & scared outta my skin remembering it. I's 20. It was HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL....
    Needless to say I stayed away from the act for bout 8months. Kai.

    My 1st time clubbing: Liquids in P.H, I kept judging everyone there, esp the R/S Comm of Finance & Special projects I saw there with "pilenty" babes... *whispering, heard they engage in all the "somes"*
    my bestie & her boo that took me laughed at me ALL week.

    My 1st Day working during I.T: I puked for 2weeks. That hospital made me LOVE my life too much! I appreciated God some more.
    I think I destroyed someone's veins while taking his blood sample that 1st day.

    My 1st Love : this is definitely "Le Boo" OMG, there are times I just want to eat him up, other times I wanna melt into him, other times I Just look at him, quietly look at the heavens & Say THANK U GOD, other times I just wanna kill him, beat him well sef. LOL. Love U Sugar!

    My 1st Time preaching: I think I wore a mask that day, I denied knowing anyone, I almost cried, I think I did. Am happy today sha. 11yrs later.

    I want to read Everyone's 1st too, esp Memphis, Enjay, Steele, Mariam, Sasha, evfrybori....

  2. Hmmm I have got some many first too like you.

    First kiss: I was just 13 back from an evening lesson when my bf asked me to close my eyes and then he kissed me. You knw hw it feels now, like power waves creeping through the body. Was sweet! I actually more about it on my blog. 'My first kiss'

    First true love; I have a lot of guys I dated but then I just didn't knw how to handle or never gave a fuck about loosing him but my first most memorable one was when I was in 400level, I loved him more than words can say but he happened to also be my first heart break. I also wrote about it too. Topic: ''A branch I met in life"

    First day in camp: was marvelous though hectic because of the registration and all but am happy the nysc and camp turned out to be the most interesting part of my life, it also brought me a great gift called love. *smiles

    First pain: can't remember or maybe my joblessly for now..Lol

    First day in school; I cried because I didn't want a private school though am grateful to God today many jare can't say them all. *smiles

  3. Awww typo errors *smiles and winks*
    I wish there was a way to I could edit. my phone's misbehaving.

    I don't wanna forget my first day clubbing too ,Ruthylicious made me remember. I was just so shy then (Liquid Longe, Ikeja) and was so obvious but when I got some few bottles meh see ginger o! My friends where surprise

  4. LOL... forget the Typos Temi, I wee report u to ur mummy. kissing at 13. U deserve koboko. LOL.

    Enjoy dear.


    1. Hahaha don't mind me, you know those teenage so called 'puppy love' was always sweet

      Pls don't tell my mummy o. *scared face, Lol

  5. Nice one Thelma. Lol @ your first day in Uni, lucky you. Mine was pure hell. My first time of having sex was equally hell. Lol. My first kiss was so beautiful.

  6. My love at first sight...we had a connection like none other. haven't felt dat way with any other, not even with hubby. Everything was sooo magical. Guess it was too good to be true.

  7. First day in uni.. both mom and dad came to help me register lol
    First day in Law school.. I was so excited
    First kiss... I honestly cannot remember
    First sex.... as painful as hell
    First love.... The excitement and butterflies cannot be forgotten.
    First time I drove a car... I felt empowered
    First time clubbing... I danced my heart out.
    First day appearing alone in court.. I nearly fainted, for a talkative like me I thought it will be a walk over but it wasn't o
    First pay cheque... I felt all grown

    1. Hahaha. And I was busy feeling guilty about my first day in Uni. You and I had some totally different experiences; first time clubbing all I could think about was so if God should come now all of us here will go to hell. Serious buzz kill.
      First time I drove, I thought, hell no! I'm never going to drive a car, this sh*t is too scary!

    2. Lol @ what if God should come now. I didn't even think of that at all. I came out from school ( a private uni) with some friend's and all I could think of was catching as much fun as I can before returning to "prison". As for the fear of driving because of how much I longed for it fear wasn't an option. I did my NYSC in Abuja and 90percent of the people in my CDS group had a car so I kept crying to my parents but they refused saying I had to finish service. So I overcame most of my fear in driving school, the first day I drove my own car, the excitement totally supressed the fear.

  8. Chei, I have over done everything, I can't remember my first anything.........attribute this to old age. Abeg jor, I'm tooo old to remember. Ah ah, I remember one o, it was d day I recived my first million naira. It was at work o, I almost fainted, so teyyy me and some of my equally shocked colleagues passed d night in d office working....showing over gratitute to management dat friday. Abeg no be my fault...over a million naira can do wonders to your attitude to work.

    1. OMG Ejoec I smile when I read your comments. So it's only the cash you can remember? Babes come on naaaa, seriously? You can't have possibly over done it all to the point of no recollection.

  9. First kiss- Terrible. I was 16.. I kissed him with my mouth tightly closed. Afterall, he wanted the kiss.
    First day @uni- evrione wanted to meet the chinese girl with nigerian skin and feautures. Had soo many lovers from then.
    First heart break- I don't wait for them to break. I break when they are so into me cos I wanted to see guys suffer. (Story for another day)
    My first love- IBB...loved this guy to the moon and back but I was incapable of showing what I felt. We broke up. We had to. I blame me....but I've met this guy now...and I've settled my life issues. Love him like nothing.
    My first sex- No woman wishes to be raped. It gave birth to all my life issues and insecurity. I'm getting over it now. When a second one was suppose to happen, I broke heads. I was older then.#celibate.
    My first fight-EPIC....suffice to say, it was the last.
    My first phone-Samsung blue face.

    Warning- We are all adults on this blog. No unnecesary talks.

    1. Aniella please share the "story for another day" with us. I need contributors on this blog!
      I'm really sorry about your experiences, feeling you on that #celibate.

    2. Annieella sorry about your first sex, glad you are getting over it

    3. Hugs to you, dear. You will overcome totally. #Enjay#

  10. wa o. I think I'll wait for Steele :D

  11. Memphis talk jor. Who knows when Steele will come?
    My first.... time on a plane. I almost died from fear. My eyes were shut through out the flight.
    My first an*l sex. Very very painful but it got better.
    My first love was my first heart break. Sad face.

  12. Thelma, the firsts are just too many jare.

  13. LOL... @ejoec pls when the next FIRST million naira extra cheques show up, invite Le Ruth. I wee work with U in the office for a week sef. LOL.

    @Memphis: Steele went for Omugwo, berra start talking oh, *sets koboko*...

    @Anielle: Big Bear T Hug for U & Lots of T's Sloopy kisses. Ur a strong amazing woman. Am glad IBB is back!!! #Twerks
    Enjoy dear. #TeamCelibacyRocks

    Thelma's blog sha. U'all won't believe after some experiences shared here, I add U guys in my prayers!!!

  14. My first kiss was not bad but not thrilling either,
    My first love was beautiful for a while until I realized the one I loved loved others too so I ended it, it was also my first heartbreak.
    My first time behind the wheel I was involved in an accident to date the thought of driving scares me.
    I lost my first fight, it was my last fight too
    My first day at Uni, I was scared, nervous, I was in a different country, my mum couldn't stop calling to check up on me, but I got through it.
    My first job, I wanted to quit after the first day but I stayed.
    My first paycheck, I was still in high school I don't remember how I spent the money.
    My first time on this blog I felt at home

    1. Sweet. Nobody remembered to share first time on this blog.

      My first time on this blog, I sang Mali Music-It feels like Heaven from start to finish. Its home here.

    2. OMG Sharon and Aniella God bless you guys. Words like this help me keep going. Thanks.

    3. You are welcome Thelma, Annieella I feel you.

    4. First time here, I knew I wasn't going anywhere. Matured minds and a honest and realistic blogger who possesses a beautiful soul.#Enjay#

  15. Interesting and (some) hilarious comments. I think like ejoec, I may not be able to remember some exciting firsts but let me list the boring ones I can remember:
    First Time in Higher Institution: firstly, a Polytechnic: felt so strange; I was alone and felt like a bird out of a cage. Secondly University: started at year 2, no big deal....I never celebrated matric....
    First Sex: nothing to write home about. I've read a lot of books and seen my elder bro/cousins in action a few times to prepare my mind. Yet, it was painful and uninteresting.....
    First Paycheck: Sad! The salary was nothing fantastic
    First Pregnancy: I thought I was dreaming. I felt so ill and was treating 'malaria'
    First Delivery: the book 'Every Woman' helped prepare me but not enough for the pains. Mhen did I scream! I was told my pelvic was not wide enough, so it would take sometime before the baby would come. Worse still, I was deliberately cut (i.e.unnatural tears) despite the fact the baby was not heavy. I thought I wouldn't do it again but got back to the labour room 2.5 years later....
    First (official) Car: a Honda Accord (End of Discussion).....mixed feelings because the number of people begging for this and that increased!
    First Million: I actually saved till I achieved this. I guess I was twenty-something and felt really good with myself.

  16. First kiss was horrible,just swallowing dude spit and biting his lips until he,can't forget that day,I was 18
    First sex mhen that thing was so painful,took me 1week to get over it...
    First day in school,I went alone,my mum only got to know my school when I was in my 3rd year
    First love,that's my jewel,when we met I just can't figure out how it happened mhen I love my dude so much..
    Today happens to be my first day at work,its so BORING.
    First time I took wine...I loved it,I still do,I always will,No I don't smoke. And haven't gone clubbing,don't even know how it looks like to club...

    1. -F demands increased abi? That's life.
      Mariam ROTFL @ your first kiss! Babes it's still morning and it's just day one. Of course it's boring! Things would pick up soon I'm sure. @ Clubbing, don't waste your energy. Sometimes when I'm still lucid at the club everyone sort of looks like psychos. LOL. Then I drink and become a psycho too. Then I wake up around noon the next day and I ask myself "why do I do this?"

    2. Thelma, Yes and still on the rise!

      I love your analysis of clubbing. I was dragged out once by a friend and vowed never to repeat it. I guess I'm a bore in that respect....

  17. LOL... Mariam enjoy ur work joor! lool... soon we'll be typing our 1st million too by God's grace...

    @Anon F... God bless ur home!

    1. Amen! Thanks Ruthylicious.

  18. @ thelma thanks sweets,@ ruthy,u r jus d best,by the Grace of God.
    My first time on this blog?well,I was reading through comments on SDK when that name caught my attention'I was so curious to know the thoughts of a wandering mind,I clickd on it and that was all,I was like wow,normally I don't comment on BLOGS but I can't help IT,I have to,I just loved it and I kept commenting,I won't stop commenting because thelma is doing a very brilliant JOB,thumbs up lovey!

  19. By the way,where is enjay,steele and yes,memphis is yet to tell us about is Fs

  20. yaay im so excited about this *dancing
    My first kiss, i was 14, this i can never forget,he was my crush in secondary school Micheal Babatunde John Akinyemi //yea i knw all his names*covers face
    My first pay check, felt so good and independent
    My First Sex : #celibateofdestiny LOL
    My First Job:the first day was rili awkward cuz i was very very shy and pple kept saying im beautiful, made it worse.
    My first Crazy and Daring Moment: i made out like a starved soul with my colleague in the office on the table in the conference room.
    My First Phone: Motorola Talk about.
    My First day in Uni: went alone, was so excited that immediately i got in i went ti change to jeans(trousers) cuz my parents weren't goina allow me wear it at home. heheheeee
    My first heart break: twas bad, my bf then got himself a babymama #sad
    My first Love : He was my First Kiss, but sadly we couldnt be together.
    My first fight : i won !!!!left a mark on her face sef
    My first time on the Plane: i grabbed a strangers thighs unconsciously>>was super scared!!!
    i feel like a have a lot more sef.....if i remember i'll come back.
    heheheheee...this is fun.

  21. wow! where have I been? Here goes my firsts:
    kiss : I mistook pecking for kissing, so when the tongue coiling started, I simply followed his lead. His stainless breathe helped my situation. I think I was 14/15.
    Uni: I felt like I deserved to be called ''anty'' by everybody back home. lol
    sex: painful hell, yet no blood. I couldn't walk properly immediately and I kept washing and washing down there.
    car: was excited, cos I bought it myself
    nysc: I cried my heart out until my elder sis coiled me up and wrapped her arms around me like a sick child - I so wasn't expecting Taraba!
    job: didn't feel awkward, my boss treated me like his first daughter and still does
    love; was overwhelming, we named our babies
    heartbreak: I don't think I have any. I walk out.
    carry over: 100level wasn't expecting it. Settled it in 200level and that was the last
    on this blog: I found the blog in the comments section on bellanaija and I've been stuck ever since.
    fight: a squatter in my room, girl was silly. Was in my 400level and of course I won.

  22. My first kiss, I felt butterflies in my stomach,
    my first sex it felt like I was pierced wiv a knife,it felf nothing like wat I read in Mills and Boons.
    My first heart break was terrible I repeated a clas cuz of that.
    My first love was and is still my hubby. I never knew a first love is different from a first bf.
    My first day in uni I cried. I went to submit my credentials for screening and d man in d office pushed me out. It was so embarassing.
    My first driving experience I shook all over I kept sweating on my palms. Still can't drive lol.
    My first: neva fought as an adult even as a little child I avoided it I no get power.
    First time on a plane I did well for a first timer so d guy beside me said but I almost peed wen d plane was about landing.
    My first job, was during my IT I enjoyed every bit, well not untill my boss started harrasing me cus I wouldn't date him.
    My first pay I felt like a big sis I bought things for every one including my parents. My dad still talks about it sef. Lol
    My first carry over was in my year 2 ( an accounting course) I hate maths still do!
    Nysc It felt like I was dreaming wen I saw my posting SOKOTO!!! I cried my eyes out. Nothing my hubby did to pacify me helped.
    My first delivery I deliverd like d hebrew women short labour.
    First time on dis blog, it felt like I had struck gold. I love to read novels. And I enjoyed every bit of thelm's short stories.

  23. Lol, Memphis..... Meanwhile I've never been a girl's first anything because I suspected all those romance novels were lying. Plus I've always loved experienced women.

    Sometimes I feel like I've come to this world before cos most of the things I did never felt like firsts, I felt like I had done them before. Some stand out sha....

    First time I smoked weed, I was in ss1, I ran into some teachers farms and started eating their corn, raw. I've quit now.
    First time I tasted alcohol, it felt like I'd found my missing rib
    First time I got drunk, I hated the fact that I found the missing rib.
    First time I drove was also my first major car accident, it took me 3 secs to drive into the gutter. I've had a few after that though, thank God for mercies.
    First time I rode a bicycle, I went straight into the gutter. Again
    First time I stepped into the club, about 18yrs ago and I'm still addicted.
    First time I had sex, she said "don't you cum?, I'm getting tired" hehe
    First time I gave a girl head, her reactions made me know I'd found another talent and I couldn't wait to explore it.
    First blow job, I thought I never wanna have sex in the vagina again.
    First love, I'm not sure I've ever been in love but I've been in lust many times and thought it was love
    Firs prostitute, I woke up feeling like I'd slept in a trash can.
    First time on this blog....

    1. hahahha
      you're a nutcase
      first time on this blog Im so loving all of you, its a breathe of fresh air to have intelligent conversations without tribalism, religious sentiments gosh Im so in love with y'all

    2. =)) =º°˚˚˚°ºнaħaнaº°˚˚˚°º‎= =)) lwkmd. Steele u funny die. Smh

  24. uju mara mma_beibe3:33 am, May 06, 2014

    Ok the first time bug caught me

    First time meeting my siblings: can't really remember, I was three.
    First period: was excited cos I had been waiting to get one
    First time wearing a bra: boy I loved my 32C breasts
    First crush: had multiple and yea was in primary 5.
    First time being home alone: I walked round the house naked for three days and ransacked everybody's room
    First Xmas alone: akon's lonely was playing on the radio, I baked 6 pans of cake and made casserole which I didn't eat.
    First boyfriend: was 17 and he was soooo handsome with a dick of an attitude but I over liked him
    First kiss: with Mr handsome, he asked if I was sure he was my first. Yaay practice with my mirror paid off
    First day post first kiss: woke up on that Sunday morning feeling like Adam plus I was sure I was pregnant but that didn't stop me from going back oh
    First break up: with Oga handsome over the phone. Reason : I wouldnt put out. Mtchewww.
    First make up: with the same dude three days later
    First time clubbing: was with my sis and her now hubby and I was soon shy they threatened not to take me out anymore
    First party: 1st yr uni I had soooooo much fun and I danced the night away with my would be second bf
    First sex experience: HORRIBLE and was that way till the 5th
    First exam in uni: I swear I dis siblined my siblines three of them just spoilt my after exam glow. I swear I hated them for like 3months till they apologized.
    First time on a plane: EXCITED
    first time in Lagos: so this is Lagos
    First time aunt: burst into tears when I heard her first cry and she still remains my favorite niece and I her favorite aunt.
    First time driving: Piece of cake was looking forward to it anyways
    First time in law school: Mtchewww back to wearing black and whit
    First heartbreak/ heart shattered: I lost 10kg in 3 weeks.
    First time on this blog: was in abuja on chika's couch and I was like wow Nwando has a blog. Nice.
    Many firsts but then I would be writing a memoir.

  25. Lol, Steele has spoken. My turn:

    First time in boarding school; I cried in bed for 3days.
    First time I punished a junior; I felt ontop of the world.
    First time I killed a poisonous snake; I felt like Hercules.
    First kiss; hmmmmmm...good thing I didn't try to impress and was doing what she was doing. *look at me smiling*.
    First sex: you know that facial expression of Arnold Schwarzenegger after his First, in the movie TWINS. I'm certain mine was just like that.
    First time I fought; I had a black eye for 11 days.
    First time I fainted; funny, it happened while I was serving at MASS as an alter boy. I was standing with clasped hands, everywhere started going black, then I heard this noise and everything was clear again, but I was flat on my back.
    First time I smoked a cigarette; I was 15years, and my throat was on fire. I vowed never to touch a cigarette after that experience.
    First time I ate a house rat; my roommates and I had nothing for 3days and were cracking jokes to pass time, when we heard the usual movements in the ceiling. We looked at ourselves and that crazy idea was immediately synced.
    First salary; I felt so proud of myself..."this is MY sweat. WOW"
    First love; that was the period I realized that no other girl mattered to a man in love, even if they were more graceful and endowed than his boo. I honestly felt I was losing it during that period.
    First time I drove; I was so thrilled I was actually moving a vehicle.
    First time on site; I cursed the sun and didn't concentrate throughout that day.
    First time I became an uncle, I shed tears.
    First time I entered a ferry at Apapa; I don't think I'll ever do that again. The wobbly ride got to me.
    First time on this blog..."now this is what I'm talking about." :D

    too many Fs...

    1. Memphis I can easily picture you as an alter boy. lol

  26. First kiss, I was 16. It was wonderful.
    First love, same guy. We ended the relationship cause his mum wasn't comfortable with me.// Hubby too. Because he made me break all the principles that guided me. I gave up everything for him. My mum said I was under a spell. My family said no, his too, we went on and we're still here.
    First set, Hmmmmmm. I was 22, thought I was going to die. Hubby (then boyfriend) said he was praying while at it that I shouldn't pass out on him. We still joke about it. All I wanted was for it to end. After three rounds, it did. I couldn't walk well.
    First time in a Uni, my thoughts, "so this is it"
    First pay, was impressed with myself. Maturity has begun.
    First driving, felt high.
    First delivery, two days of labour with induction followed by indescribable pain from sweeping of the membranes and out he came. My handsome bobo :) 3.78kg
    First real fear, that my stiches
    First time alone with him when my mum left after "omugwo", I cried.
    First time my heart really broke, when I lost my sister. My surest gossip partner and adviser :)
    First time without my children, was at the hospital for surgery, woke up in great pains but was so glad that I had another chance to live. It took almost two weeks before I was home again.
    First travel alone to the east, my thoughts "I'm a big girl now"
    First time here, my thoughts "this is what I've been looking for". Matured minds.

  27. Oooo , firstttssss....😘
    First fight, probably from my mummys womb (i'm a twin n we still hav heated word fights uptill nw but i was a fighter wen i was younger sha)
    First day in boarding house, was super excited cos of my box filled with provs that i could eat at anytime,lol
    First unofficial kiss, ss3 truth or dare in class
    First official kiss, useless boy told me i'm a terrible kisser, perfected the art n nw i'm a champion😂😂
    First sex, horribbbllleee took 3 painful days n finally no blood self till i got home, mcheeeewwwww, lols...n den the sucker broke my heart💔
    First heart break, horrible experience, he stole my innocence and my heart, cried for 3days and became a bitter and angry person for a while, still recovering self...
    First time in club, not so exciting cos i was scared my elder brother wuld walk in n catch me, (in yr 2 ooo, imagine that) hahaha...
    First time i smoked weed , ddnt get high , probably cos i ddnt do it well...
    First time i gave a bj, i'm sure he wont forget it cos i wus drunk n puked all d shawarma i ate all over ex boos john thomas🙈, got better at it n nw...a trial will convince u, lols...
    First day in law school, cried my heart out cos i missed my mummy n my tweeny
    First day in court, peed my pant (i swear a few drops of urine fell, 😂😂)
    First pay, appearance fee, 3k, sent my mummy credit😜😜 felt like a working class somborri *chiguls voice*
    First day in camp, horrible... Cried myself to sleep n then cried some more the next night..
    Ahhhhh before i forget , my first day in uni was d day i met my bestie , confidant n brother for the past 8 yrs who has promised to marry me if i dont see husband by 30 💃💃💃, hehehe
    First day on dis blog, bellanaija redirect led me to one of the growing great minds in nigeria😇 #babylawyer

    1. Hahahahaha. I hail you my fellow champion kisser. Lol.

  28. WOW!!! I subscribed BIS 5mins ago 4 U all.
    Pls if this world Ends/Naija starts a war, I wanna be in a Cave with steele, memphis, Mariam, enjay, Tokoni & the new Mrs F but of course Thelma!!!

    I am literally ROTFL reading ur comments.

    Memphis pls find ur 1st Love oh. Steele, if I need to weed my grandma's farm, i'll give u weed to smoke then station u in the middle of the farm, just keep eating in circle.... U are HILARIOUS!

  29. Btw, 1st Time on this blog, I saw a link on twitter, Gbam! Post was so great,
    I copied,
    Printed & gave to Le boo.

    Don't ask me which post LOL.

    That was when I fell in love with my T of Laive.
    The only blog that I read comments from A-Z.

  30. tis is the first time i am commenting on any blog.
    1st kiss; i was 14. D boi was so fooooinnnneeee.
    1st sex; wit d same boi one week later. I was like OMG tis is not how it feels in harlequin.
    1st day in uni; i was sent back by d security at d gate for my top. Didnt knw we werent allowed to wear sleeveless.
    1st pregnancy; i was so scared cos i wasnt yet married, so i aborted it.
    1st day i met hubby; who the hell is tis idiot ! We got married one year later.
    1st driving lesson; my hubby was my coach, i almost ran into the fence, still not driving.
    Ist delivery; oh my God! I screameeeeeeeeeeeed. It was so painful. I kept abusing my husband.
    1st tym i saw my baby; in d labour room, i kissed him and welcomed him to d world. I felt an overwhelming joy.
    1st tym on tis blog; yes! Tis is it! Unlike LIB where everyone keeps abusing each other.
    I love u thelma

    1. Awww. Thanks Anon. And your comment put a sunny smile on my face this morning. LMAO @ who the hell is this idiot and getting married one year later. Life is funny like that.

  31. you are always welcome. Lets call tis anonymous "Zinny"


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Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!

One More Post...


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.