This morning I had to go do something in the market. I've got this tailor that makes really good curtains and bed sheets and I got someone to give me the (small) contract to do some things for his new crib. I realized I didn't have the tailor's number on my new phone so instead of dragging my feet I chose to go to Yaba market and check where the tailors stay. As I searched, in usual Yaba market manner the traders began to make cat calls. Some left me blushing, some made me uncomfortable, some made me laugh, one hurt.
There were the usual chants of "Nwanyi Oma" My size" "Ukwu! Ukwu! Ukwu!" "Nne ya complete" "carry go, noting do you" "Omalicha" "My height" "Nne e di okay" "Nne e di too much!" and well, of course I rolled my eyes and blew them off, nonchalantly. And then suddenly some one, just one person said "You are fat." And just with that one statement, my shoulders drooped a little, my head bowed just a little, my smile left just a little and my ego was bruised more than just a little.
Isn't it ironic that it was easy for me to ignore all the praises that had been thrown my way for about 30 minutes or so and the minute someone made one unkind statement that was the one the stuck, and hit/hurt me?
Reminded me of an interview Toolz had with Tiwa Savage a couple of years back where Tiwa (or Toolz?) said she avoided the comment section of blogs because of the negative comments. Then she said there are times the comments are so mean and they really get her down, and one day her mother asked her; but for each hurtful comment there are tons of comments complimenting you and singing your praises. How come it's those few negative comments that get to you while you don't seem to notice the positive/flattering/kind ones?" She said she thought about it and sincerely wondered why.
I guess it's just the way the mind works sometimes.... As I continued to walk in search of Tailor Orji I raised my head up and lifted my shoulders. I immediately made a note to myself; I will appreciate and cherish all the good and kind words/things/people that come my way. I would pay no mind to the (inevitable) bad and hurtful words/things/people and this way I'm certain nothing can take my smile away. It's amazing how fragile one's self-confidence and self-esteem can be, I think one ought to make a conscious effort to protect those.
PS: I went to see my mum afterwards and she said to me ; "Nwando I hope you're still exercising? No honest man loves a fat woman".
Hia! That cracked me up. I don't believe it jare but it cracked me up nonetheless. *now putting on my trainers and grabbing my skipping rope.*
Have a peaceful night people!