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Office Romance. To Have or Not To Have???




So I told you guys I'm starting with a new company tomorrow right? Well in trying not to think about the cases and files and case files and court appearances and applications and petitions and all of it my mind steered towards more sugary sweet thoughts. This is also coupled with the fact that I chatted with Ola about an hour ago and I found myself in stitches. She's dating someone at the office and it's this steamy hot romance. Suddenly work is a very exciting place to be and she takes delight in picking out the pencil skirts that show off her ample curves the best. She's suddenly interested in makeup and wants to know how to achieve a sultry smokey-eyed look. Her excitement is contagious and I find myself wondering. Honestly I've never been in support of office affairs or office romance and so after my chat with Ola and after I'd ironed my work clothes and put everything in place I gingerly powered up my ipad and ran to my one true friend; Google and researched office romance.

Now in all honesty I was looking for information and statistics to back up my claim that office affairs are not the way to go but what I saw surprised me. It seems more people are in support of, and encourage office affairs/romance. One site states that when you're in one you find yourself waking up even before your alarm clock wakes you up. Several other sites say that research has shown that most office affairs end up in marriage. Hmmmm.... One site states that it's really cool and helps speed up the dreary work hours. A lot of people seem to have happy-ever-after office romance stories to tell. 

Yet that doesn't sway me. Maybe I've had my fingers burnt one too many times so one thing I can say about office romances is that they can be all flowers and butterflies when things are going smoothly but when the smooth sailing stops, it's not to sweet anymore. Having issues with a boo who works in the same office with you could seriously mess with your focus and productivity. And imagine what breaking up with a colleague feels like, especially if you're still in love with him/her. Worse still, when this ex-boo of yours begins to date someone else (in the office) and whether or not they rub it in your face it's happening right in front of you so even if you don't want to look, you still see it. How does one deal with that? It's not so sugary sweet anymore I tell you. When something similar happened to me it took the grace of God to walk into the office with my head up everyday and not lose my senses. It also comes with some humiliation (and) you may look to your colleagues like discarded goods... and if the girl in question is a bitch, then she will try to make you feel even more miserable than you already do. 

What's your take on office romance? Have you had one that did or didn't work?


ps. I don't know what my new schedule will be like and how busy I may be. I will try to post as regularly as I used to but if that's not possible then please understand. 

I wish us all a truly blessed week ahead. 

Comments

  1. I've never had a work romance as my better sense will always tell me not to indulgein it but, I've come quite close to it and, what I was was thoroughly burnt- through and through- I had had a church romance.
    The object of my affections had been a church leader actually and, somehow, along the way, we sorta fell desperately in love.
    I was giddy and excited- he was all I thought I had wanted in a man- cool, calm, calculated, full of temperance, had a measured way of talking and enunciating his words- infact, he was a showman who I feel our pastor was grooming to move to another church (he is a pastor now).
    He had a great job in one of the oil companies and I was waiting to go to lawschool.
    He told me ..... Infact, "un-heardables", if english would permit me.
    Told me how he couldn't wait to let the world know that I am a queen.
    Everyone in his workplace knew me, we were equally known together in church and I had my own cell group- for divine divas.
    He was my pastor, mentor, spiritual leader, everything.
    Our relationship wasn't sexual- the sexual tension was there- but we only did kiss and we would spend hours dissecting the bible, infact, he had a way of making certain verses in the bible appear sexually charging- like when he talks about Solomon telling his bride he wanted to eat of her apples- he made that to mean breats!
    In retrospect, I was truly under his spell, lol and had no doubt that he loved me.
    We had a little glitch, Mr 37-year-old at the time had a mum who dictated everythingto him.
    Well, not dictate per se but, she had her influence and did not want me.
    He set up meetings severally for us but this woman wouldn't respond when I greeted her- I was heartbroken.
    He asked that we wait it out in prayers and even our pastor kept telling me to hold on- I still had hopes.
    My dear, when things didn't work out after a year (he had had all these goals set- getting married in August (it was 2010) and the whole works), I couldn't even go back to the church, I had to switch to another branch- it was too painful.
    I felt torn away from a people I had come to consider as family and it hurt to watch what was happening- he thoroughly changed and wouldn't want to be alone. With me so he wouldn't feel guilty- abeg, thinking of it now is even annoying me- its a no no, biko.
    Goodluck on your new job dear.
    I really, really miss practicing.... :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry for my epistle too, lol.

      Delete
    2. Did u say he's 37? And still doest have a mind of his own? Hmm...
      Such men scare the crap out of me!

      Delete
    3. *and it just got worse*
      On a serious note,do u think u dodged a bullet? Its rhethorical tho...

      Delete
    4. Lol.
      He didn't look his age one bit.
      I think he should look about 35 now. :).

      Delete
  2. hmmm. its a two way thing. If things so sour then you will regret it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Congrats on ur new job and yes office romane has its perks! It gives u something to look forward to on the next day no matter how shitty the previous day has been

    ReplyDelete
  4. I had to leave my office last year because of a lady

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh wow! JDY please give you give some details, I'm really curious.

      Delete
  5. Office romance is ok as Long as the guy in question isn't married or about to be married cos after his wedding he wld dump u like a bad habit and confess to his wife out of guilt. Speaking from experience (I was the side chic). Dude is married now, even has a baby on the way. I knew wat I was doing was wrong but he was hard to resist. Lesson learnt tho . Guys will say anything to get in your pants. Babes pls be wise.

    ReplyDelete
  6. That's the worse thin u can do to yourself and ur rep.. U might be thinking u guys are coding it from ur colleagues but trust me guys talk ! The dude will confide in somebody and those kind of relationships never last and things now become awkward btw u and the guy.. Why bother ??

    ReplyDelete
  7. Don't even go there babe. Its the ultimate NO NO. U shud keep ur relationship+love life private n to urslf, ur colleagues don't hv to know evrythin sooooo I wud say steer clear of office romance/love. Its never really worth it in the end.ur biz wud b out there 4 the whole world to c n dissect. Hmmm on on another note, now I c why u had all the time to blog,thought u had been working all this while...al the best on ur firstday. I'm a lawyer too n only js started a new job a month ago, not a lawfirm tho, media and entertainment law. Fun but stressful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks boo, technically it's not my first day as I was working there before. Took sometime off to do some things for family and my own business, and yes that's when I started blogging. Should have returned a couple of months back but I really wanted to get the blog running and still push my business... But the time has come to go back. I'm sort of excited but I freaking envy you your media and entertainment law and that it's fun.

      Delete
  8. I hate it! Can't even imagine trying it!#mytots#..@thelma,all d best @ work.I love u very much dear!nohomo o

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thelma, I am married to a friend from my office. we don not work for the same employer but there was a link thorough office space rental and other business. we kept it very discreet, until time for the wedding. pple were shocked sef. everthing is all about maturity and comportment. you dont need to display it all out. Some pple were upset dat we were so good at keeping up appearances, while some said they suspected, but fact is, no body knew until the wedding invitation was out. I USED TO SAY TO MYSELF NO WAY WOULD I DO OFFICE ROMANCE. But a Good man was at stake, I no fit use ,my husband do boyfriend na. most people just refuse to see the truth even when it stares them right in the face, a guy that is not going to marry you will display all the signs. (more often than not) but my dear sisters will keep hoping and praying.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. wow thats awesome to hear,one of the few good office romance stories

      Delete
    2. awww i know two ppl whose office romance led to marriage, attending one next saturday

      Delete
  10. Noted.... Am learning on this topic.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Noted.... Am learning on this topic.

    ReplyDelete
  12. My office boo is now my husband. Married for 4 years now with 3 lovely kids. Well you win some and you lose some. Just look well and be prayerful

    ReplyDelete
  13. i think i wanna have an office crush after i'm married just so i have a reason to put in more effort in the way i look or dress or my weight......... just so i can stay updated for hubby. this crush cant know i'm crushing on him oh. dazall. having a crush really helps you look good can remember then in law school after my fiance jilted me, i lost it for men...... well until i went for one of those moot trial rehearsal and as i was walking out cos i was bored to death, i turned back and my eyes met the eyes of this certain very unassuming dude, i swear i fell in crush......... all of a sudden, i took interest in myself, started wearing my contacts again, started making up again for the first time in months i cared about how i dressed. i felt good long story short i stopped crushing when i saw that he was a lord of the ring kinda guy #married. so we became just hello/hi friends. so yea i'd like an office crush not romance.

    ReplyDelete
  14. It's a big no for me. I couldn't even date a fellow student back at school. Imagine the awkwardness when you two have an issue. biko nba

    ReplyDelete

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