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On The Death of Love And Romance... and a little randomness.

Yesterday evening, before the supermarket debacle I joined my friend and her boo in his friend's mansion. Yes, I had to say it, the house is a freaking mansion! They were at the poolside and as I'm not a great huge fan of the outdoors and sandflies I thought I would make my visit brief and keep it moving. But the conversation that ensued kept me glued to my seat for two good hours.

I have to let you guys know that my friend's boo is fifty years old. He's a divorcee so don't get your panties up in a bunch. LOL. He was there with three other friends, among whom he's the youngest. I don't know their marital status, if they're married, widowed, divorced... I think the mansion owner is divorced sha. Not long after I joined them the liqueur began to take effect and they started to loosen up. Somehow I mentioned love (you should know by now that that's one topic that's never far from my mind) and immediately they all attacked me. All four men! "What love? Do you know what love is? Have you ever been loved? Have you ever tasted love?" And my favourite; "Has anyone ever written you a love letter? My friend and I tried to argue that of course we knew what love was and we had "tasted" love. These men each took their time to explain to us why we hadn't been loved and why the people of this generation had no idea what love and romance is. 

They regaled us with stories of love from the 70s, mind you, there was some good oldies from the 70s and 80s playing in the background. They told us to the way young men wooed women, the described the art of writing a love letter, how they would go through the dictionary for exotic sounding words and then when they were done, they would spray their best perfumes and the paper before artfully folding it and slipping it into the envelope, so that the minute she opens the letter the heady scent of the perfume will mesmerize the sweet recipient. 

They talked about doing real physical labour just to reach a babe they liked. There was no technology to make things easier but it was that hardship that made it much sweeter. 

Speaking of technology, they said the internet had spoilt everything. We think we know it all but we know nothing! (I beg to differ). They gave several reasons why the internet was destroying us and we just couldn't see it. I listened to them all and wondered, is romance really dead?

Well, they lived in a time where women were wooed and pursued with vigor. A time where when a woman was ripe for marriage she would have five or six suitors and the problem then was who to choose. These days however, it's the exact opposite. And no sir, you cannot blame the internet for that, blame it on End Times. 

One more thing; *Tunde raised the issue of divorce and how statistics show that 75% of divorces are sought for by wives. I think this is true... Most of the divorce matters I've witnessed or been a part of were brought to court by wives. It's very common to see wives filing for divorce and relatively rare for husbands. I wonder why that is. Tunde said a while after the marriage they become bored and disillusioned and just want to get out. (I beg it differ here also. I think men are ok staying in their marriages and dishing out sh*t but the women, major recipients of the shit, naturally get tired of that shit and want out). Well I kept my opinion to myself. I'm probably young enough to be his kid and I've never been married so I quietly listened to the elders speak. 

Anyways I soon bade them all farewell and my friend walked me to the car. I had a date with *Steve (the Addax guy) after that, he had been telling me we had to have the cream pasta at Bungalow (I didn't join him eventually, stopped over at his place briefly then went home. Old age is setting in. *sad face*) but I guess I was just looking forward to listening to him talk about his sexcapades and the inability of his bed mates to understand the no strings attached concept, I wanted to take my friend with me but I guess she preferred the company of her boo and his friends and the oldies music so off I went. 

And now I'm not sure what the purpose of this write up is, except that I had just the most depressing conversation of the month and I needed something to take my mind off that. 


  1. Well, there you've said it!
    Steve is the true depiction of dead romance today- men of today are totally, totally clueless about what romance is and it's concept- which is why I'm always teary eyed when I see men who put in a lot of thought to propose to their girlfriends- my hubby did the whole "going on a dinner date and proposing", but, honestly, I knew he was about to propose- there was no "taking my breath away" type of thing.
    He was just being the regular guy who was clueless about the things that make a woman totally fall desperately in love with you.
    My younger sis is getting married next month, I don't even know if her boo proposed- we never really gisted about it but she used to joke about the fact that "that one might just throw the ring at me from one corner and say, "ehen, kparagodi nkea n'aka" (ehen, wear this one for now)"- it was something to make us laugh but, really, I think it is sad.
    More men are becoming too "realistic, practical and goal-oriented"- almost all the guys I ever dated just had no clue about romance (the way "romance" is in my head)- none. No clue.
    Except for my first boyfriend- that one had all the moves- but his moves were as much to wow you as it was to wow other girls outside who would watch and eventually give in to him (just to experience his suave ways) when he goes to get alittle something on the side so that one no good too.
    I'm all for romance, maybe it was the excessive m and b's, harlequin romance,danielle etc but, now, I sort of make do with my imaginations....

  2. "Make do with my imaginations...." Wow! #NoneThatNeedBeSaid

  3. Yes, times have changed no doubt. There are more women than men so men in turn begin to feel like a rare commodity, there they behave like they're God's special gifts to women. It's a sad reality.

  4. Romance is indeed dead, no one cares anymore.

  5. And here I am complainin my boo is too romantic. Different strokes for different folks. I gotta be more appreciative. T u rock!

    1. Thanks Kimora. Too romantic though? ...some have food but cannot eat, some can eat but have no food.............

  6. U'all just wanna make me cry!!!

    Chei, Dear Future Hubby, biko just try... always ask me if U have to, I wee give u expo!

    Nice write-up T. Liked it...

  7. Taah Romance is relative given generational and technological advances. Why send letters when you have emails and facetime?
    Folks are also romantic in different ways, when a guy cools you dinner or goes to the pharmacy to buy you meds when you are sick thats romance jare.

  8. well my husband wrote me letters,poems and sprayed perfume on it..we both exchanged love letters thereafter.he combined all the love poems into a book. twas pretty new n strange cos i hadn't experienced such romance before..#gotmarried2011#. just so u know.


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Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!

One More Post...


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.