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On The Death of Love And Romance... and a little randomness.




Yesterday evening, before the supermarket debacle I joined my friend and her boo in his friend's mansion. Yes, I had to say it, the house is a freaking mansion! They were at the poolside and as I'm not a great huge fan of the outdoors and sandflies I thought I would make my visit brief and keep it moving. But the conversation that ensued kept me glued to my seat for two good hours.

I have to let you guys know that my friend's boo is fifty years old. He's a divorcee so don't get your panties up in a bunch. LOL. He was there with three other friends, among whom he's the youngest. I don't know their marital status, if they're married, widowed, divorced... I think the mansion owner is divorced sha. Not long after I joined them the liqueur began to take effect and they started to loosen up. Somehow I mentioned love (you should know by now that that's one topic that's never far from my mind) and immediately they all attacked me. All four men! "What love? Do you know what love is? Have you ever been loved? Have you ever tasted love?" And my favourite; "Has anyone ever written you a love letter? My friend and I tried to argue that of course we knew what love was and we had "tasted" love. These men each took their time to explain to us why we hadn't been loved and why the people of this generation had no idea what love and romance is. 

They regaled us with stories of love from the 70s, mind you, there was some good oldies from the 70s and 80s playing in the background. They told us to the way young men wooed women, the described the art of writing a love letter, how they would go through the dictionary for exotic sounding words and then when they were done, they would spray their best perfumes and the paper before artfully folding it and slipping it into the envelope, so that the minute she opens the letter the heady scent of the perfume will mesmerize the sweet recipient. 

They talked about doing real physical labour just to reach a babe they liked. There was no technology to make things easier but it was that hardship that made it much sweeter. 

Speaking of technology, they said the internet had spoilt everything. We think we know it all but we know nothing! (I beg to differ). They gave several reasons why the internet was destroying us and we just couldn't see it. I listened to them all and wondered, is romance really dead?

Well, they lived in a time where women were wooed and pursued with vigor. A time where when a woman was ripe for marriage she would have five or six suitors and the problem then was who to choose. These days however, it's the exact opposite. And no sir, you cannot blame the internet for that, blame it on End Times. 

One more thing; *Tunde raised the issue of divorce and how statistics show that 75% of divorces are sought for by wives. I think this is true... Most of the divorce matters I've witnessed or been a part of were brought to court by wives. It's very common to see wives filing for divorce and relatively rare for husbands. I wonder why that is. Tunde said a while after the marriage they become bored and disillusioned and just want to get out. (I beg it differ here also. I think men are ok staying in their marriages and dishing out sh*t but the women, major recipients of the shit, naturally get tired of that shit and want out). Well I kept my opinion to myself. I'm probably young enough to be his kid and I've never been married so I quietly listened to the elders speak. 

Anyways I soon bade them all farewell and my friend walked me to the car. I had a date with *Steve (the Addax guy) after that, he had been telling me we had to have the cream pasta at Bungalow (I didn't join him eventually, stopped over at his place briefly then went home. Old age is setting in. *sad face*) but I guess I was just looking forward to listening to him talk about his sexcapades and the inability of his bed mates to understand the no strings attached concept, I wanted to take my friend with me but I guess she preferred the company of her boo and his friends and the oldies music so off I went. 

And now I'm not sure what the purpose of this write up is, except that I had just the most depressing conversation of the month and I needed something to take my mind off that. 

Comments

  1. Well, there you've said it!
    Steve is the true depiction of dead romance today- men of today are totally, totally clueless about what romance is and it's concept- which is why I'm always teary eyed when I see men who put in a lot of thought to propose to their girlfriends- my hubby did the whole "going on a dinner date and proposing", but, honestly, I knew he was about to propose- there was no "taking my breath away" type of thing.
    He was just being the regular guy who was clueless about the things that make a woman totally fall desperately in love with you.
    My younger sis is getting married next month, I don't even know if her boo proposed- we never really gisted about it but she used to joke about the fact that "that one might just throw the ring at me from one corner and say, "ehen, kparagodi nkea n'aka" (ehen, wear this one for now)"- it was something to make us laugh but, really, I think it is sad.
    More men are becoming too "realistic, practical and goal-oriented"- almost all the guys I ever dated just had no clue about romance (the way "romance" is in my head)- none. No clue.
    Except for my first boyfriend- that one had all the moves- but his moves were as much to wow you as it was to wow other girls outside who would watch and eventually give in to him (just to experience his suave ways) when he goes to get alittle something on the side so that one no good too.
    I'm all for romance, maybe it was the excessive m and b's, harlequin romance,danielle etc but, now, I sort of make do with my imaginations....

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Make do with my imaginations...." Wow! #NoneThatNeedBeSaid

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes, times have changed no doubt. There are more women than men so men in turn begin to feel like a rare commodity, there they behave like they're God's special gifts to women. It's a sad reality.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Romance is indeed dead, no one cares anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  5. And here I am complainin my boo is too romantic. Different strokes for different folks. I gotta be more appreciative. T u rock!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Kimora. Too romantic though? ...some have food but cannot eat, some can eat but have no food.............

      Delete
  6. U'all just wanna make me cry!!!

    Chei, Dear Future Hubby, biko just try... always ask me if U have to, I wee give u expo!

    Nice write-up T. Liked it...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Taah Romance is relative given generational and technological advances. Why send letters when you have emails and facetime?
    Folks are also romantic in different ways, when a guy cools you dinner or goes to the pharmacy to buy you meds when you are sick thats romance jare.

    ReplyDelete
  8. well my husband wrote me letters,poems and sprayed perfume on it..we both exchanged love letters thereafter.he combined all the love poems into a book. twas pretty new n strange cos i hadn't experienced such romance before..#gotmarried2011#. just so u know.

    ReplyDelete

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